by Borel, Stacy
He raised his head to look at me.
“Of course we don’t forget this happened. We’ll do exactly what I told you we’d do before I left for the tour. We’ll talk on the phone, text, email, Skype, or do whatever we can to make sure we’re still good. Distance doesn’t have to mean the end, Harper. I know I’m going to miss seeing your beautiful face and that smart mouth, but the space between us doesn’t mean shit to me. You’re my girl, always have been.” His large hands cupped my face.
He said everything so matter of fact that it melted my heart. Since I opened up to him and the possibilities that this could bring, I had to be willing to give this a wholehearted shot—I owed it to both of us. But I had to open up and let him know about my fears, just like Em had said. We wouldn’t work if I didn’t at least give him the chance to see what was going on inside my head.
“You’re right. I’m sorry I questioned it.”
“Anytime you feel the need to say I’m right, I’m more than happy to listen,” he chuckled.
I laughed and slapped him on the stomach. “Shut up.”
“Hey,” I said, “do you remember that time when you came to my house after the photo incident?”
He tensed. “I’ll never forget it.”
“I was just thinking about that. I think that was the first time I’d ever let anybody see that side of me. I think I knew then that I could trust you.”
I sat up and rested my chin on the top of my hand. I looked at him, and reveled in the fact that this gorgeous man was mine.
“You can always trust me, Harper. I’d never intentionally do anything to break that trust. You know that, right?”
I nodded, and lay my head back on his chest, thinking back all those years ago …
There was a knock on my door. I didn’t want to answer it, and I was half tempted not to. I’d already told Em on the phone that I wasn’t up for company, and I definitely didn’t want to talk about what happened. The knock came again, and I felt like a jerk for not answering.
“Look Em, I told you I didn’t want comp …” Getting up to answer the door, I trailed off because Em wasn’t the one standing there when I opened the door. It was Kyler Lewis.
“Hey, Harper, I thought I’d stop by and see how you’re doing,” he said from the other side of the door.
I stood there, shocked. Not just because it wasn’t Em, but also because Ky was the last person I’d ever expect to stop by and check on me. We’d had had a strange relationship since we were kids—always picking on each other, teasing, harping, jabbing anytime we saw an opportunity. We weren’t necessarily enemies, but we certainly weren’t friends either. I’d only just recently started getting to know him because Em had started dating Finn. I’d actually found out was that Ky was pretty funny, and more sensitive than I’d pegged him to be.
I reached down and tugged at my shirt. I probably looked like a big mess. “I’m fine.”
“Yeah, you really look fine, Harper.” He was being sarcastic. “Look, can I come in?”
I figured I might as well get it over with. Maybe if I talked to Ky about what had happened, I’d be able to deal with the other kids at school … whenever I decided to go back. I shrugged my shoulders and stepped to the side to let him by.
Ky came inside and looked around. Besides Emilyn, I’d never had anyone from school inside my house and to be honest, it was a little intimidating. I didn’t have much. It was still just my mom and I, and she worked a lot. The house was somewhat bare but we had everything we needed. As he checked everything out, I tried not to be embarrassed by the lack of ‘things.’ Ky’s parents had money, and I’m sure he didn’t normally hang out on my side of town.
Crossing my arms over my chest protectively I asked, “So what are you doing here, Ky?”
He stopped his perusal and his eyes landed on mine. “You haven’t been at school for a few days and I wanted to know why.”
We’d barely spoken and I was already exhausted. I plopped down on the faded, green couch that sat in the center of the living room.
“You know why,” I said, looking down at the floor.
“I suppose I do, but I want to know why you’re letting Aubrey get the better of you?”
My eyes shot to his and I glared at him. “She embarrassed me in front of the entire school, Kyler! She sent that photo to everyone and now our whole class has seen me … naked.” I looked down again, unable to deal with my embarrassment.
“You’re letting Aubrey win, you know that, right?”
“You know what, Ky? You can get out of my house. I don’t need to be lectured by you or anybody else. Just get out!”
I got up and fled the living room. My bedroom was down the hall and as soon as I was inside, I slammed my door shut and locked it. Seconds later I heard a light tapping.
“Harper, let me in.”
“Go away, Ky.” I started to cry.
It was quiet, but then he said so softly, “Harper, please, I just want to talk to you.”
I sniffed and decided that the jerk wasn’t going to leave until I pacified him. I unlocked the door, but left it closed, before moving to the bed. Ky opened the door and came in to sit down on the bed beside me. Tears streamed down my face and I hated that he was seeing me like this. I didn’t let anybody see me cry … ever.
“Would you like me to tell what’s been happening at school? I think you’ll be surprised,” he said.
“Let me guess, the photo has been passed around to even more people, and now it’s hitting the next town.”
“Nope. Let’s just say the photo has been taken care of.”
“What do you mean it’s ‘been taken care of, Ky?” I sneered.
“I took care of it. That’s all you need to know.”
“I don’t understand. How did you take care of it?”
He smiled a soft sweet smile at me, and reached up to brush away a tear with his thumb. “Like I said, don’t worry about it. You can come back to school and I promise you, nobody will say anything about it.” The smile faded slightly from his face when he said, “But if they do, let me know and I’ll handle it.”
More tears streamed down my face. “Why are you being so nice to me, Kyler? We’re not friends.”
I know that sounded rude and mean, but it was also the truth.
“We are friends … at least we are now. And I like you, Harper, I always have. I don’t want you to cry any more tears over this.”
He liked me? Well, that was a revelation.
“You like me, huh?” I gave him a slight smile.
“Yep.”
Ky leaned over and kissed my cheek, which caused me to blush.
“That pink on your cheeks looks good on you.”
I didn’t normally blush, but I couldn’t help the heat that crept up to my face. I looked up at him and there must have been something he saw on my face that made him lean over again and softly kiss my lips. He was being so gentle and tentative at first. But when my tongue snaked out and lightly touched his lower lip, he became more aggressive. Ky’s mouth became firmer, and his hands came up to hold me by the back of my neck.
I pulled my mouth back and inch. “Wait, Ky, what are we doing here?”
His eyes roamed over my face and then he brought his stare back to me. “I don’t really know, Harper. I just know that that felt really good, and I don’t know if I can stop it from happening again.”
Kyler gave me a cocky grin and crushed his lips to mine. He tasted every inch of my mouth and I felt my body tingling down there. His hand slid gently down and grazed the small patch of skin between my shirt and jeans. My heart started pounding in my chest. I wasn’t sure where this was going, only that I wanted it. He was making me feel wanted. However, that feeling was abruptly halted when Ky’s hand had moved up and delicately touched the underside of my breast.
I jerked back and starred at him.
“I’m sorry Harper, I got carried away.”
Shaking my head back and forth I said, “Ky, it’
s okay, I just … I haven’t … I’ve never …” I trailed off, not sure of the right words to say.
“Are you saying that you’re a virgin, Harper?” There was no teasing in his voice, he was simply asking me a question.
I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to directly answer him.
He tipped my chin up with his fingers so that I was looking at him. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. There’s no pressure here, okay?”
He meant it. The normally cocky, smart ass, everything is a joke Kyler, was being kind and I didn’t know how to take it. I searched his face for any signs of him playing the ‘nice guy’ card just so he could get laid. I saw nothing but sincerity. He actually meant what he said. This guy came here to make me feel better, and then confessed that he’d liked me for a while now. I made the decision right then and there that I was going to be brave. I wanted this to happen.
“Touch me, Ky,” I barely whispered.
That day I gave Kyler something that was special. He never made me regret my decision that I lost my virginity to him. He also never told me how it was that he got the whole school to keep quiet. I went to school the following morning and not one person said anything about the photo Aubrey had taken. I’d wanted to ask people why they never brought it up, but didn’t want to remind them about it either.
“So can I ask you something?” I said, tickling the side of his ribs.
“Hmmm …”
“How did you get them all to stop talking about it, and spreading the picture?”
He laughed. “You never found out?”
“No. I asked Em if she knew, but she said she had no idea, and Finn wasn’t saying a word.”
“For starters, I went up to Aubrey and flirted a bit with her. I made her think that I wanted to go out with her, and then I asked some questions about the photo. She ended up admitting to me that she took it when you reached down to grab some soap, and she’d made a noise so you would look over at her. After that, I asked to see the photo—”
“Oh my God, you didn’t look at it, did you?” I interrupted him.
“Will you let me finish? No, I didn’t look at it. I took her phone, threw it on the ground, then shattered it with my foot. She started yelling at me and telling me that I was going to pay for it, but then I conveniently pointed out that I had Finn over in the corner recording everything that she’d said. Everyone would know that she was a liar.”
“So that’s why Finn never told Em anything,” I giggled. “But that doesn’t explain why people acted like it never happened. Did you show everyone the video or something?”
He brought his hand up and brushed it through the thick strands of my hair.
“No, if I would have done that, it would have made me as bad as her. I just found every single person that had gotten their hands on the photo, and told them that if one word was spoken about it again, they’d have me to deal with.”
“Such a badass.”
I tried to brush off the gravity of what he’d done for me. He’d taken care of something that, at the time, had felt crushing. He’d cleaned up the mess, and then kept it quiet. That meant a lot to me.
“Ky, all these years, and I never even knew you were the reason the rumors had stopped.”
He shrugged. “I suppose so.”
I sat up and straddled him and laid my head on his chest, while my arms squeezed his sides. My eyes started to water.
“Thank you. Just … thank you … for being there for me.”
He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. It was his silent, “you’re welcome”.
We ended up falling asleep like that for several hours, and I was the happiest I’d ever been.
My time with Harper went by way too quickly. The days after the birthday party incident were so amazing, I still couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that Harper had said she loved me. I was sure that some might have thought I was a complete dickhead for not saying it back to her, but I didn’t just want her to hear it … I wanted her to feel it. Also, I didn’t want to say it just because she’d said it to me. And I did, I loved her very much. There was no other woman out there for me, and it was something I’d always known. But I also wanted to make sure that she trusted me too.
Harper may be the most beautiful person I’d ever seen on the outside, but she was also extremely insecure. It was the only flaw I’d found in her and still, it was something I found endearing. Everything else about her drove me mad. If you set aside her looks, she had so much drive and determination to succeed, and I’d never seen that in another person before. She was stubborn as a mule, and shit if that didn’t chap my ass, but it was also a massive turn on to spar with her … after all, who didn’t love make-up sex? And her heart … her fucking heart was made of gold. All of these qualities made her amazing to me, but that damn insecurity of hers …
I had a feeling it had everything to do with her dad leaving her when she was young, but she hadn’t talked to me about it.
When I’d dropped her off at the airport to catch a late morning flight, it had taken everything in me not to say “fuck the tour,” and go home with her. But I’d made this commitment and I wouldn’t leave the band like that. If what Harper and I had was real, then we would make it through the distance, and end up on the other side happy … and together. I only had one more month left anyway, with a dozen cities to perform in, the last one being in Boise—my hometown. I’d head home from there, check on my dad, and spend some time with Harper. We could figure out where we’d go from there.
My cell beeped, alerting me to a text.
Harper: Hey! Made it back. Remind me 2 always fly 1st class.
Me: lol enjoyed it huh?
Harper: Think I got drunk on the small bottles of wine.
Me: U would. U driving home?
Several minutes passed but I didn’t receive a text back. I had to l laugh at my girl boozing it up in first class, but I also hoped she hadn’t got too sloshed. I started to get worried when I didn’t hear from her. Hoping she was just at the baggage claim and couldn’t text me back, I shot her a quick message asking her to call me when she was able.
In the meantime, I kept myself busy with packing. Boston was going to be loads of fun. We would only be in Beantown for a day, before we moved on to the next destination. I concluded that there was no better way to see the US than going on a band tour.
My cell was sitting on the nightstand when it started ringing Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Want To Have Fun”. I chuckled when I looked at the screen and saw Harper’s name.
“Clever girl, stealing my tricks?”
I could hear her smile through the phone. “I’ll never tell you my secrets. Like the song?”
“I suppose. But you like eighties hair bands and a whiny chick’s voice. Any relevance?”
“Girls just want to have fun.” I pictured her shrugging her shoulders.
“Alright, very funny,” I chuckled. “Now tell me, are you driving yourself home?”
She was quiet, and I knew right then that I hadn’t received a text back from her for a reason. It made me nervous.
“Harper?”
“I’m still here. No, I’m not driving.”
I shook my head. “I hope you didn’t take a cab all the way home from the airport. That’s going to cost you a fortune.”
“No, I uh … I got a ride,” she said.
Then I knew … the tone in her voice, the way it shook when she spoke. I swallowed down the anger that was already building.
“If you didn’t take a cab, who did you get a ride from? Boise is an hour away.”
I heard someone clear their throat, then I heard a man ask Harper if she wanted something to eat. I dropped my head and sat my ass down on the bed, hard. My elbows rested on my knees and I ran a hand through my hair.
“Who was that, Harper?”
“It’s Michael. I called him to pick me up because I had too much to drink while I was on the plane. Flying makes me nervous, y
ou know that.”
“I understand that part, but why didn’t you call me?”
“Seriously, Ky? And you could have what, come to pick me up?”
“I could have sent a car for you. Don’t be such a smart ass.”
She took a deep breath and spoke again. “I did what I thought was best, okay? Just remember what we talked about the other day. I’m still your girl.”
I did remember, and that made me feel better to hear her say it. Plus it gave me some perverse satisfaction that she’d said it in front of Michael. Take that, dick-fluffer. I shook my head to clear the anger.
“Okay. Just … call me when you get home, alright?”
“I will. Promise.”
We hung up the phone and I sat there for I don’t know how long. My mind went over every possibility that it could come up with. Was Michael talking to her about me? Was he trying to prove that he was a better man? I didn’t know. The not knowing was making me crazy. I was jealous, just like she had been.
“Fuck!” I shouted and threw my phone across the room.
Boy, that hadn’t gone well. I hadn’t planned on telling Ky that Michael was driving me home. Well, at least not until I was home and I could tell him without Michael right next to me. I could tell that he was pissed off and wanted to yell at me. It was probably a good thing that Ky wasn’t there because I had no doubt he would have hit Michael out of sheer anger.
Still in the car, and not wanting to make a big deal out of the conversation I’d just had in front of him, I turned toward Michael and gave him a small smile.
“Do you mind stopping at the burger stand outside of Mountain Home? Food will probably help the buzz.”
I was certain that whatever buzz I’d had was now officially gone after that phone call. I was anxious to get home so I could call him without someone else listening. I needed to explain to him that I hadn’t sought Michael out.
“No problem. Do you want your usual?”