by Borel, Stacy
I looked over at him. “How do you know what my usual is?”
Michael grinned. “I pay attention, Harper. You’ve always gotten a quarter pound hamburger, no mayo, add ketchup, extra bacon, and extra pickles. You like their homemade fries, but no salt. And you always get an extra large chocolate milkshake, although, I don’t know where you put all that food.”
Wow. I’d never realized that Michael had noticed such small details about me. If I hadn’t been so concerned about the phone call I had to make when I got home, or the fact that I was in love with someone else, I would probably have been flattered.
“I’m impressed. You either really do pay attention, or you’re a stalker and watch my every move.” I tried joking to make myself feel better.
He laughed, thankfully not noticing my mood. “Maybe a little bit of both.” He waggled both eyebrows at me.
We went through the drive thru and Michael got my food. I sat quietly, picking at my nails— a nervous habit. When we pulled into my driveway, Michael put the car into park, and I hoped he wouldn’t want to come in. Thankfully, he just turned in his seat and looked at me.
“So you and Lewis are an item now, huh?”
I guess the truth was what he deserved, even though Michael and I were never really ‘together.’
“Yeah.”
He lowered his head. “Are you happy?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you love him?”
I closed my eyes tight. I hadn’t realized until this very moment that Michael had been trying to ease us into something more than just friends and sometimes sex buddies.
“Yeah.”
He nodded. “He’s a lucky man. You’ll still call … you know, if you need anything?”
“Of course, this doesn’t change anything. You’ll always be my friend.”
With nothing else to say, I got out of his car, took my suitcase out of the back, and walked inside my house. I wasn’t even hungry anymore. It was early evening and I was exhausted. I knew Ky wanted me to call as soon as I got home, but I needed a little bit of time to rest … to collect myself. I needed a freaking nap!
Leaving my suitcase at the front door, I went to the couch and collapsed. It wasn’t that I had gotten myself into a situation that I couldn’t explain, it was that I didn’t think I needed to explain myself to Ky. And I hadn’t seen the emotion from Michael coming. It looked like that’d been taken care of now, though. I closed my eyes and allowed my coiled up muscles to relax. It didn’t take long for me to drift off to sleep.
I had no idea how long I’d been asleep, but when I woke my living room was dark. I got up and turned on the lamp on one of the end tables. The clock that hung over the top of the TV read ten o’clock. Oh my God, seriously? I’d slept for over five hours! I rubbed my eyes, trying to shake off the tiredness. Then it hit me. I hadn’t called Kyler. Fuck.
I ran over to my purse and dug around until I found my phone. Christ, over twenty missed calls and fifteen text messages. I quickly dialed his number and it only rang once before he answered, sounding totally frazzled.
“Harper? Where are you?”
“I’m here, I’m at home.”
“When did you get home and why didn’t you call me? I’ve been out of my mind worrying.”
I sighed. “I know and I’m sorry. I was just so tired when I got in, that I laid down on the couch and fell asleep. Next thing I knew, I woke up and it was dark.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay.” I said, confused.
I heard him curse under his breath. “Do you have any idea how close I was to jumping on a plane and coming to you? I even called Michael to see if he’d dropped you off.”
“You called Michael?”
“Yeah, I called him, and believe me, it wasn’t a call I cared to make, but I had no idea where you were. When you say that you’ll call me, I expect you to call me. Fuck, I swear you just took ten years off my life.” I could hear Ky exhale over the phone.
He needed to know that he had nothing to worry about. But I was a little angry that he was being so melodramatic.
“I’m sorry you had to call him. You shouldn’t have, but I know why you did.” And I truly did, but that didn’t change the fact that he’d overreacted. “I think I need to explain though. Yes, I was with Michael, but I want you to know that I didn’t go seeking him out. I was waiting at baggage claim when he called me. He said he was in Boise for a meeting and wanted to know when I was getting in so he could drive me home. I had planned on getting a taxi and sucking up the cost, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to have Michael drive me. Then you called.”
The other end was silent for a few short beats. “You can’t be that blind, Harper. You realize that he knew the day you were coming in, and he went to Boise to wait so he could drive you.” Ky was pissed.
“Give me a break. He had business.”
“Open your eyes!” He practically shouted. “You just spent a week with me, and now he’s trying to make sure he gets you back. He wants you, Harper. And I have to ask … do you want to be with him?”
“You asshat!” I yelled into the phone. “I told you I loved you and you’re asking me if I want to be with him? Did this week mean nothing to you?”
“This week meant everything to me. That’s why I had to ask.”
“Well, who’s blind now?” I threw back his words. “Turns out Michael did want something more from me, but I explained to him that I was in love with you. I … love … you,” I said slowly. “I’m not interested in him. I never will be.”
My chest was rising and falling and I was practically panting with anger. What the hell was his problem? Even if I had caught a ride with Michael, I was pretty sure that I’d made my feelings crystal clear. Granted, I’d left out the baggage about my dad, but I didn’t think that was something that needed to be brought up in the midst of me practically throwing myself at him. I’d talk to him about that when he was done with the tour, which I really wished was over. Not so I could throw myself in his arms, but so I could twist his nuts and tattoo ‘asshat’ on his forehead. God, men could be so dense sometimes.
I heard him breathe in through his nose. “Did anything else happen that I should be aware of?”
Was this guy for real?
“Seriously, Kyler? If there was more to this story, don’t you think I’d tell you? Jesus, you sure do know how to fire me up, don’t you? And since when do you play the ‘jealous boyfriend’ role? I’m not the one out touring every city in the fucking United States, and partying after every show.”
“Yeah, well, I also haven’t slept with any of the women that have come on to me either. Therein lies the difference between you and me.”
That was it—I’d reached my breaking point. I hung up on him and shut my phone off. Of all the times that Ky had been a douche to me, from high school up until now, that took the motherfucking cake. Frustrated and pissed off, I got up, went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of wine. I grabbed the cork with my teeth, spat it across the room, tipped the mouth of the bottle up to my lips, and chugged. After I’d swallowed about four mouthfuls of the rich merlot, I set the bottle down. I was seething.
“Fuck you, Kyler Lewis,” I screamed as loud as I could, even though nobody could hear me.
Wasn’t this just my luck? I’d kept myself closed off for years, then I go and fall for the one man that could take me from zero to pissed off in less than a second.
Awesome.
The night that Ky pissed me off, I got rip-roaring drunk, then took the next day off to sleep off the colossal hangover. It’d been two weeks since I’d spoken to him, but that didn’t mean that he hadn’t tried to talk to me. I’d thrown myself into my work and taken on more clients than I would normally would. It ended up making for an extremely overextended workday. I’d wake up at five in the morning and head to my office. Then I’d leave the office because Ky had delivery people dropping off random things throughout the day. I’d had flower deliverie
s, which made the place smell like a funeral home, singing telegrams, balloons, even an open-ended plane ticket. It was so ridiculous that I felt I needed to give my employees a pay raise just because they had to deal with his shit. And yet, I still couldn’t talk to him. I knew I was overreacting, but I’d let the argument get to a point where I wasn’t even sure how to end it.
Then on a Wednesday morning, I was called out to a house in the same subdivision that Finn had bought and sold his home. I had a sign in the front yard which had my name and contact number, and I guess the person wanted to see it immediately. It just so happened that I had a rare free moment, so I went out to see if I could close the sale.
When I pulled into the driveway, there was a Chrysler already parked, but no one was in the car.
Okay …
Maybe they were out looking around the back? I got out of my car and walked to the front door to open it, and went in to turn on all the lights in the house. Just as I set my phone and keys down, someone came up behind me and wrapped their arms around me.
I did what any woman who’d just been startled would do—I brought my elbow back with as much force as I could, hitting the person, clearly a man judging by the solid body that I connected with, in the stomach. Then I picked up my foot and brought the point of my heel down on his foot. I quickly turned around and shoved my knee up into his groin, before taking off out the door. I made it to the doorway when I heard a raspy voice call out my name.
“Harper, wait.”
I stopped, then slowly turned around. Kyler was lying on the ground holding himself, his face masked with pain.
“Ky?”
“Fuck, woman, I think you broke me,” he groaned. “Yep … gonna puke.”
“Jesus Christ, Ky, you scared me to death! I thought you were like those crazy people you see on TV who trap realtors, then kill them.”
“You paint a vivid picture. Glad to know you’re able to take care of yourself when you come in contact with one of those crazy people,” he said from the floor. “Are you going to just stand there, or are you going to come help me up?”
“Oh, shut up,” I said, while I moved toward him. “I’m trying to calm down my racing heart here. I couldn’t give two shits about your balls at the moment.”
“Nice. Would you at least rub them? They need to know you still love them.”
He slowly got up from the floor, using a hand to lean on the counter. He looked a little pale and his forehead glistened with sweat. Even though I felt bad for dropping him to the ground, it was a satisfying to know I would have been able to get away if I’d needed to. I quietly high-fived myself.
Rolling my eyes I said, “Well, I don’t love your boys at the moment. What are you doing here? And why didn’t you just come to my house?”
He stared at me like I was dumb. “You honestly think if I’d gone to your house, you would have opened the door for me? Shit, Harper, you won’t even talk to me.”
He was right—I would have ignored him.
“Aren’t you supposed to be on tour still?”
“Yeah, but Anders came down with laryngitis and the doc said that he had to rest his vocals. It could end up taking a month, so we cancelled the last few cities. The band will make them up on their next tour,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.
“Oh,” was all I could say.
“Harper … I’ve missed you. And, well … I’m really fucking sorry. I sort of lost it with the whole Michael situation. I should never have suggested that you would run straight to him after you’d just been with me. This silence is killing me, though. I’m going out of my mind. Please, Harper, please.”
The poor man looked defeated. Even though Ky was still as handsome as ever, he looked tired. He had bags under his eyes, his normally messy and spiky hair was flat, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he hadn’t showered in a few days.
His words broke through the wall that I’d put up. It was what had prevented me from talking to him the past few weeks. Have you ever had something happen that hurt you and as time went on, you knew you were ready to forgive, but it was so far gone that you didn’t know how to fix it? That was me. But he’d just made it easy for me to run into his arms and forgive him, which was exactly what I did.
“Ky.” I whispered his name.
He opened his arms to me and I rushed to him. My body collided with his, and he enfolded me with his strong arms and held me tight. I don’t know how long we stood there like that, and it didn’t matter. Time didn’t matter. Ky was home, and I needed to never be away from him again.
My words came out muffled because my face was tucked in to his arm, “So what now?”
“Now we pick up where we left off in New York.”
I tipped my head back to look at him. “Did you like, drive around the neighborhood or something until you found a house that I was selling?” I laughed.
He melted me with his brown eyes. “No, I want you to show me this house because I think I want to buy it.”
My mouth dropped open.
“You mean you’re moving back now? I thought you’d go back to Los Angeles for a little bit first.”
He shook his head. “No, there’s no reason for me to be there right now. I have you here, and my parents are here. Plus, I told you, I need to be by my dad right now.”
I nodded, understanding. Taking his hand, I showed Ky around the house and he loved it. I told him I’d draw up the paperwork with the builder and get the process started straight away. In the meantime, I knew that I didn’t want him staying at a hotel—or his parents’ house—when I could have him with me. It seemed selfish, but I missed him.
“Are you going to go stay with your parents?”
“I thought about it, but I was going to ask you if you minded me crashing at your place for a bit?” Ky said, leaning against the wall in the hallway.
He gave me a devilish smile and it made me shiver. Ky living in my house? The possibilities were endless.
“I don’t think that will be a problem.”
He barked out a laugh and put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him.
“In all seriousness, though, my boys could use a good stroking. I’m worried they’re broken.”
Rolling my eyes, I laughed and elbowed him again.
“Shut up.”
I had no idea if showing up at the house would work. I was glad it had though. My girl was back with me—no more moping around like a sad heartbroken chick. If Anders hadn’t got laryngitis, I think the boys would have staged an intervention to make sure my man card was still intact … then kicked my ass off the tour. I would never have pegged myself for being a fool in love, but I guess I was.
Harper and I went back to her place, and I put my stuff in her bedroom before taking a shower. Fuck, I smelled bad. While I washed the stench off me, Harper made some calls about the house, and got the paperwork ready to go. Hopefully it wouldn’t take too long—I was hoping I could close the house in thirty days or less. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to stay with my girl as long as I could, but I also didn’t want to wear out my welcome. We were still a fairly new couple, trying to figure each other out. It didn’t matter that we had known each other for years, or that we’d already dated. This was more serious than what we’d had before, and I didn’t want to fuck it up in the first month because I was all up in her space.
When I got out of the shower, I toweled off and grabbed my phone off her dresser. I needed to call my parents and tell them that not only was I in town, but that I was home for good. I’d planned on going over there after I satisfied my libido. Oh, who was I kidding? As long as the sex goddess was in the other room that was never going to happen.
I dialed my parents’ house and my mom picked up on the third ring.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Ma, how are you and Dad doing?”
“Hey, baby boy. Oh … it’s going.” She sounded tired.
“That’s good, I guess. Hopefully I can cheer you up a bit when I
give you my good news.”
“I could use some cheering up, hit me.”
“I’m back home, Ma. As in, home for good.”
I expected her to be happy, but what I got was my mother bursting out in tears.
“Ma, what’s the matter?”
“I’m just so happy, baby. Your dad isn’t doing well, and the doctors have been talking about putting him on hospice care.” She was sobbing now.
I had to hold back my own tears. Hospice? Wasn’t that what they did when you were on your last legs? I remembered when they’d put my grandma in a hospice, and my parents talked about it being only to keep her comfortable until she passed away. There was no way my dad was that bad. Last time I was home, he was still doing okay.
“Ma, I need you to tell me everything the doctor said.”
She started from when I was last home, up until his last doctor’s appointment. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it—how could my Dad’s cancer have spread from his pancreas to his lymph nodes, then to his lungs.
“I’ll be heading to the house shortly, okay?”
We hung up and I sat on the bed with my head hanging down, still not dressed. How was I going to fix this? I could get a second opinion, but I already had one of Idaho’s best doctors on his case. My dad was sick, and there was nothing else I could do. I didn’t think that I’d be able to come to terms with that, but I had to do everything I could to hold it together for my mom’s sake. I had to be her rock. They’d been married for thirty-five years. They were high school sweethearts, and he was all my mother knew. She was going to need me.
Harper came in the room and saw me sitting on the bed, lost in my own thoughts.
“Hey, handsome. What do you want to do now? We could order in pizza, and sit naked in the living room, then have each other for dessert? Or we could …”
She trailed off when she noticed my mood.
“What’s going on, Kyler?”
My voice cracked, “It’s my Dad. He’s worse.”
Her soft hand stroked my back and she laid her head on my shoulder.