After Hours with Her Ex
Page 5
And that could only work to his benefit. Lacy cool and calm wasn’t what he wanted. The temper she’d developed intrigued him and made him think of how passionate she had always been in bed. Together, they had been combustible. He wanted that back.
He glanced at her and almost smiled at the deliberate distance she kept. As if it would help. As if it could cool the fires burning between them. The day was cold and clear and the snow-covered ground at the summit crunched underfoot as they walked toward the site for the restaurant he was planning.
Tearing his gaze from Lacy momentarily, Sam studied the snack shop that had been there since before he was born. Small and filled with tradition, it had outlived its purpose. These days, most people wanted healthy food, not hot dogs smothered in mustard and chili.
“What’re you thinking?” Lacy looked up at him, clearly still irritated that he’d dragged her away from the inn to come up here and look around.
He glanced at her. “That I want a chili dog.”
For a split second, the ice in her eyes drained away. “You always did love Mike’s chili.”
“I’ve been all over the world and never found anything like it.”
“Not surprising,” Lacy answered. “I think he puts rocket fuel in that stuff.”
Sam grinned and she gave him a smile in return that surprised and pleased him. A cold wind rushed across the mountaintop and lifted her blond braid off her shoulder. Her cheeks were pink, her blue eyes glittering and she looked so good it was all he could do not to grab her. But even as he thought it, her smile faded.
“I think we’ll keep the snack shack for old time’s sake,” he said, forcing himself to look away from her and back out over the grounds where he would build the new restaurant. “But the new place, I’d like it to go over there,” he pointed, “so the pines can ring the back of it. We’ll have a deck out there, too, a garden area, and the trees will provide some shade, as well.”
She looked where he pointed and nodded. “It’s a good spot. But a wood deck requires a lot of upkeep. What about flagstone?”
Sam thought about it. “Good idea. Easier to clean, too. I called Dennis Barclay’s construction company last night and he’s going to come up tomorrow, make some measurements, draw up some plans so we can go to the city and line up the permits.”
“Dennis does good work.” She made a note on her iPad. “Franklin stone could lay the gravel paths and the flagstone. They’ve got a yard in Ogden with samples.”
“Good idea. We can check that out once we get the permits and an architect’s drawing on the restaurant.”
“Right.” Her voice was cool, clipped. “We used Nancy Frampton’s firm for the addition to the inn.”
“I remember.” He nodded. “She’s good. Okay, I’ll call and talk to her tomorrow. Tell her what we want up here.”
She made another note and he almost chuckled. She was so damn determined to keep him at arm’s length. To pretend that what they’d shared in the office last night hadn’t really happened. And he was willing to let that pretense go on. For a while.
“As long as you’re making notes, write down that we want to get some ideas for where to build an addition to the inn. I want it close enough to the main lodge that it’s still a part of us. But separate, too. Maybe joined by a covered walkway so even during storms, people can go back and forth.”
“That’d work.” She stopped, paused and said, “You know, a year ago, we put in a restaurant-grade stove, oven and fridge in the main lodge kitchen. We’re equipped to provide more than breakfast and lunch now.”
He turned his head and looked at her. “Then why aren’t you?”
“We need a new chef.” Lacy sighed and pulled her sunglasses off the top of her head to rest on the bridge of her nose. “Maria’s ready to retire but she won’t go until she’s sure we’ll survive without her.”
Sam smiled, thinking of the woman who’d been at the lodge since he was a boy. Maria was a part of Sam’s childhood, as much a fixture on the mountain as the Wyatt lodge itself. “Then she’ll never leave.”
Lacy smiled, too, and he wondered if she realized it. “Probably not. But if we want to serve a wider menu to more people, we need another chef to take some of the work off her shoulders. Maria doesn’t really want to retire anyway, but she can’t handle a larger load, no matter what she says. Another chef would make all the difference.”
“Make a note,” he said.
“Already done.”
“Okay then.” Sam took her elbow and turned her toward the snack bar. “Come on. We’ve got to go down and finalize the party setup. But first—chili dogs. On me.”
“No thanks. I’m not hungry.”
“As I remember it, you’re always hungry, Lacy,” he said, practically dragging her to the snack bar.
“Oh, for—” She broke off, gave in and started walking with him. “Things change, you know.”
She was right. A lot had changed. But that buzz of something hot and electric that hummed between them was still there. Stronger than ever. Two years away hadn’t eased what he felt for her. And since that kiss, he knew she felt the same.
“Mike’s chili hasn’t changed. And that’s all I’m thinking about right now.”
Of course, he was also planning ahead. So no onions.
Four
“Dad’s really glad Sam’s home.” Kristi drained the last of her wine, then reached out and snagged the bottle off the coffee table for a refill.
“I know,” Lacy said, sipping hers more slowly. She remembered the too-much-wine-and-brownies fest she and Kristi had had just a few days ago, and Lacy could live without another morning-after headache. “Your mom’s happy, too.”
Kristi sighed and snuggled deeper into the faded, overstuffed chair opposite Lacy. “I know. She hasn’t stopped baking. Pies, cakes, the cookies I brought over to share. It’s nuts, really. I don’t think the oven’s cooled off once since Sam arrived. Between Mom’s sugar overload and Maria making all of Sam’s favorites for dinner...I think I’ve gained five pounds.”
While her best friend talked, Lacy stared at the fire in the brick hearth. Outside, the night was cold and still, moonlight glittering on snow. Inside, there was warmth from the fire and from the deep threads of friendship.
It felt good to sit here relaxing—or as much as she could relax when the conversation was about Sam. But at least he wasn’t here. He wasn’t walking through the resort with her, hunched over her desk going over plans, smelling so good she wanted to crawl onto his lap, tuck her head against his chest and just breathe him in.
Oh, God.
It had been days now and her very righteous anger kept sliding away to dissolve in a puddle of want and need. She didn’t want to want Sam, but it seemed there was no choice. And damn it, Lacy told herself, she should know better.
What they had together hadn’t been enough to keep him with her two years ago. It wouldn’t be enough now. Wanting him was something she couldn’t help. That didn’t mean that she would surrender to what she felt for him again, though.
“They’re all so happy he’s back,” Kristi was saying. “It’s like they’ve forgotten all about how he left.”
“I can understand that,” Lacy told her, pausing for another sip of wine to ease the dryness in her suddenly tight throat. It was different for his family, of course. Having Sam back meant filling holes in their lives that had stood empty for too long. There was no second-guessing what they felt at his return. They weren’t focused on their pain now, but on the alleviation of it.
Taking a breath, Lacy gave her friend a smile she really didn’t feel. “Your parents missed him horribly. They’re just grateful to have him home.”
“Yeah, I get it.” Kristi frowned into her straw-colored wine. “But how do they just ignore how he left? What he did to all of
us by leaving when he did?”
“I don’t know.” Lacy reached out to snag a chocolate chip cookie off the plate on the table. Taking a bite, she chewed thoughtfully while Kristi continued to rant about her older brother, then she said, “I think for your mom and dad, it’s more about getting their son back than it is punishing him for leaving.”
“He hurt us all.”
“Yeah. He did.” Lacy knew how the other woman felt. She couldn’t get past how Sam had left, either. Having him here now was so hard. Every time she saw him. Every time he stepped close to her, her heartbeat staggered and the bottom dropped out of her stomach.
Plus, there was the whole kiss thing, too. She hadn’t been able to forget it. Hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. Had spent the past several days on red alert, waiting for him to try it again so she could shut him down flat.
And he hadn’t tried.
Damn it.
“I used to think,” Kristi said softly, “that everything would be better if Sam just came home.” She paused for a sip of wine. “Now he has and it’s not better. It’s just... I don’t know.”
“He’s your brother, Kristi,” Lacy said, propping her feet on the coffee table and crossing them at the ankles. “You’re still mad at him, but you love him and you know you’re glad he’s back.”
“Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Still love him.”
Lacy’s heart gave a hard thump. “That’s not the point.”
“It’s completely pointy.”
“Funny.” Lacy took a long drink of her wine and when she’d swallowed, said, “But this isn’t about me. Or what I feel.”
“So,” Kristi mused, a half smile on her face, “that’s a yes.”
“No, it’s not.” Because her heart hammered every time he was near didn’t necessarily mean love. Desire would always be there and that she could accept. Love was something else again and, “Even if it was, it wouldn’t matter.”
“You’re still mad, too.”
Lacy sighed. “Yeah. I am.”
“He’s worked really hard on the End of Season party,” Kristi grudgingly admitted. “Sam even called one of his old friends. Tom Summer? He has a band that’s really popular now and Sam talked Tom into bringing the band in for the party. Live music’s going to be way better than the stereo we had arranged.”
“Yes, it will.” Irritating to admit that Sam had so easily arranged for a good band when everyone Lacy had spoken to about playing at the party had already been booked. He had friends everywhere and they were all as pleased to have him back as his family was. Here at Snow Vista, it was a regular Celebration of Sam. And Lacy was the only one not playing along. Well, okay, there was Kristi, as well. But she would eventually join the parade—Sam was her brother and that connection would win in the end.
When that happened, Lacy would be off by herself. Standing on the sidelines. Alone.
“It’s like he’s stepped right back into his life without a miss.” Kristi shook her head again. “He steers away from most of the skiers—I think that’s because everyone wants to ask him about Jack and he doesn’t want to talk about him. I can’t blame Sam for that.” Her index finger ringed the rim of her wineglass. “None of us do.”
“True.” Lacy herself had seen Sam keep away from strangers, from the tourists who flocked to ski at Snow Vista. Just as she had watched him visit all of the runs on the mountain but the one that Jack had favored. She knew that memories were choking him just as her own had for two years.
Even this cabin—where she had grown up—wasn’t a sanctuary anymore. Instead of memories of days spent with her father, the images in her mind were all of her and Sam, starting their life together. Lacy glanced around the familiar room, seeing the faded but comfortable furniture, the brightly colored throw rugs, the photos and framed prints hanging on the wall.
When she and Sam had married, they’d moved into her place—the plan had been to stay there and add on to the simple cabin until they had their dream house. The cabin was in a perfect spot—great views, close to the lodge and the ski runs—plus it was hers, free and clear, left to her after her father’s death. Of course, those building plans were gathering dust in a closet and the rooms for the children they’d planned to have had never been built.
But staying here in this cabin had been a sort of exquisite torture. She’d heard Sam’s voice, felt his presence, long after he left. Even her bed felt too big without him sharing it with her. Sam had torn up the foundation of her life and left her sitting in the rubble.
“Sam’s even talking to Dad about building a summer luge ride. One like Park City has, to give tourists something to do up here in summer.” Frowning, she took a sip of wine and grumbled, “I hate that it’s a good idea.”
“I know what you mean,” Lacy admitted, chewing on another cookie. “I want him to be out of step, you know? To stumble a little when he takes charge after two years gone. And yet, he’s doing it all and he’s getting a lot done. He’s already had a contractor up at the summit to see about building the new restaurant and he’s hired Nancy Frampton to draw up plans.” She took a huge bite of the cookie and ground her teeth together. “He’s gotten more done in the last few days than we have in two years.”
“Irritating as hell, isn’t it?” Kristi muttered.
“Really is.”
“I don’t know if I want him here or not. I mean, I’m glad for Mom and Dad—they missed him so much. But seeing him every day...” She stopped, her eyes widened and she groaned out loud. “God, I’m spewing all over the place and this has got to be so much worse on you.” Instantly, Kristi looked contrite, embarrassed. “How are you handling it?”
“I’m fine.” Lacy figured if she said those two words often enough, they might actually click in and she’d be fine.
At the moment, though, not so much. Her gaze shifted to the closest window. Through it, she had a view of the snow-covered forest, a wide sweep of sky, and there, she thought, through the trees, a glimpse of Cabin 6.
Most of the time she could pretend he wasn’t there, but at night, when he had the lights on, he was impossible to ignore. As she watched, she saw his shadow pass a window and her heartbeat fluttered. Having him that close was a new kind of torture, she told herself.
For two years, she hadn’t known where he was or what he was doing, except for the occasional updates from his parents or snippets in the media. Being apart from him tore at her—at least in the first few months. Now he was here, and still out of reach—not that she wanted to reach out and touch him. But having him close by and yet separate was harder than she’d imagined it could be.
When he first told her he’d be staying in the cabin closest to her home, Lacy had worried that he’d be coming over. But not once had Sam walked to her door. And she didn’t know if that made her feel better or worse. The only thing she was sure of was that her nerves were stretched taut and sooner or later, they were going to snap.
“You’re not fine.” Kristi’s voice was soft and filled with understanding.
Lacy might have argued that point, but Kristi was her best friend. They’d seen each other through high school, college courses, mean girls and heartbreak. What would be the point of trying to hold out now?
“Okay, no, I’m not.” Nodding, Lacy held her wineglass a little tighter and drew a long, deep breath. “But I can be. It’s just going to take some time.”
“I hate that you’re getting all twisted up by him again.”
“Thanks,” Lacy said, forcing a smile. “Me, too.”
“The problem is, we’re letting him get to us,” Kristi said, grabbing another cookie and taking a bite. “That gives him all the power. What we have to do is take it back.”
“You’ve been reading self-help books again.” Lacy shook her head.
A quick grin flashed over Kristi’s face. “Guilty. But you know, some of what they say makes sense. He can only bug us if we allow it. So we just have to stop allowing it.”
“What a great idea,” Lacy said, laughing, and God it felt good to laugh. “Got any ideas on how?”
Kristi shrugged. “Haven’t gotten to that chapter yet.”
“How does Tony maintain sanity around you?”
Tony DeLeon was smart, gorgeous and hopelessly in love with Kristi. For the past year or so, they’d been inseparable and Lacy really tried to be happy for her friend and not envious.
“He loves me.” Kristi sighed dreamily. “Who would have guessed that I’d fall for an accountant?”
“Good thing you did—he’s done a great job handling the inn’s books.”
“Yeah, he’s pretty amazing,” Kristi mused. “And so not the issue here. The problem is Sam.”
Lacy’s problem had always been Sam. She’d known from the time she was fifteen that he was the one she wanted. Oh, Jack was what the newspapers had always called “the fun twin” and she supposed that was true. Sam was quieter. More intense. Jack had been larger than life. His laugh was loud and booming; his love for life had been huge.
And when he died, he’d taken pieces of everyone who loved him with him. The largest piece had come from Sam. Those had been dark, terrible days. Lacy had helplessly watched Sam sink into a pit of misery and grief. Even lying beside him in their bed here at the cabin, she’d felt him slipping away from her.
He’d gotten lost, somehow, in the pain and he hadn’t been able to find his way out.
But knowing that didn’t make what had happened between them any easier to bear.
“Kristi,” she said, “he’s your brother. You can’t stay mad at him forever.”
Unexpectedly Kristi’s eyes filled with tears, but she blinked them back. “We all lost Jack and Sam didn’t seem to understand that. He hurt me. Hurt all of us. Are we just supposed to forgive and forget?”