After Hours with Her Ex

by Maureen Child

  The pain was as thick and rich as it had been two years ago. She’d gotten through it then, curling up in solitude, focusing on her job at the lodge and on her photography. The pictures she’d taken during that time were black-and-white and filled with shadows that seemed to envelop the landscape. She could look at them now and actually feel the misery she’d been living through. And damned if she would go back to that dark place in her life.

  He took a breath and huffed it out again in a burst of frustration. “I’m not proud of what I did two years ago, Lacy. But I had to go, whether you believe that or not.”

  “I’m sure you believe it,” she countered.

  “And I’m—”

  “Don’t you dare say you’re sorry.” Her voice cracked into the room like a whip’s snap.

  “I won’t. I did what I had to do at the time.” His features were tight, his eyes shining with an emotion she couldn’t read in the dim light. “Can’t be sorry for it now.”

  Flabbergasted, Lacy stared at him and actually felt her jaw drop. “That’s amazing. Really. You’re not sorry, are you?”

  Again, he pushed his hands through his hair and looked suddenly as if he’d rather be anywhere but there. “What good would it do?”

  “Not an answer,” she pointed out.

  “All I can give you.”

  Cold. She was cold. And her thick terry-cloth robe might as well have been satin for all the warmth it was providing at the moment. For two years, she’d thought about what it might be like if he ever came home. If he ever deigned to return to the family he’d torn apart with his absence. But somehow, she’d always imagined that he’d come back contrite. Full of regret.

  She should have known better. Sam Wyatt did what he wanted when he wanted and explained himself to no one. Heck, she’d known him most of her life, had married him, and he’d still kept a part of himself locked away where she couldn’t touch it. He’d gone his own way always and for a while, he’d taken her with him. And she, Lacy thought with a flash of disgust, had been so glad to be included, she’d never pushed for more—that was her fault. His leaving? His fault.

  “God,” he said on a short laugh, “I can practically see you thinking. Why don’t you just say what you have to and get it out?”

  “Wow. You really have not changed one bit, have you?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You even want to be in charge of when I unload on you.”

  “We both know you’ve got something to say, so say it and get it done.”

  “You want it?” she asked, hands fisting helplessly at her sides. “Fine. You walked out on all of us, Sam. You walked away from a family who loved you. Needed you. You walked away from me. You never said goodbye. You just disappeared and then the next thing I know, divorce papers are arriving in the mail.”

  He blew out a breath.

  “You didn’t even warn me with a stinking phone call.” Outrage fired in her chest and sizzled in her veins. “You vanished and Jack was dead and your family was shattered and you didn’t care.”

  “Of course I cared,” he snapped.

  “If you cared, you wouldn’t have left. Now you’re back and you’re what? A hero? The prodigal returned at last? Sorry you didn’t get a parade.”

  “I didn’t expect—”

  She rolled right over him. “Two years. A few postcards to let your parents know you were alive and that was it. What the hell were you thinking? How could you be so heartless to people who needed you?”

  He scrubbed both hands over his face as if he could wipe away the impact of her words, but Lacy wasn’t finished.

  Her voice dropping to a heated whisper that was nearly lost beneath the moan of the icy wind outside, she said, “You broke my heart, Sam. You broke me.” She slapped one hand to her chest and glared at him from across the room. “I trusted you. I believed you when you said it was forever. And then you left me.”

  Just like her mother had left, Lacy thought, her brain firing off scattershot images, memories that stole her breath and weakened her knees. When she was ten years old, Lacy’s mother had walked away from the mountain, from her husband and daughter, and she had never once looked back. Never once gotten in touch. Not a phone call. Or a letter. Nothing. As if she’d slipped off the edge of the earth.

  Lacy had spent the rest of her childhood hoping and waiting for her mom to come home. But she never had, and though he’d stayed, Lacy’s father had slowly, inexorably pulled away, too. Lacy could see now that he hadn’t meant to. But his wife leaving had diminished him to the point where he couldn’t remain the man he had once been. Her family had been shattered.

  And when Sam convinced her to trust him, to build a life with him and then left, she’d been shattered again. She wouldn’t allow that to happen a third time. Lacy was stronger now. She’d had to change to survive and there was no going back.

  “You know what? That’s it. I’m done. We have to work together, Sam,” she said. “For however long you’re here. But that’s all. Work.”

  “Damn it, Lacy...” His features were shadowed, but somehow the green of his eyes seemed to shine in the darkness. After a second or two, he nodded. “Fine. We’ll leave it there. For now.”

  She was grateful they had that much settled, at least. Because if he tried to apologize for ripping her heart out of her chest, she might have to hit him with something. Something heavy. Better that they just skate over it all. She’d had her say and it was time to leave her scars alone.

  “And what about what just happened?” he asked, and she wondered why his voice had to sound like dark chocolate. “What if you’re pregnant?”

  That word sent a shiver that might have been panic—or longing—skating along her spine. “I won’t be.”

  “If you are,” he warned, “we’re not done.”

  Another flush swept through her, heating up the embers that had just been stoked into an inferno. “We’re already done, Sam. Whatever we had, died two years ago.”

  Her whisper resounded in the room and she could only hope he didn’t read the lie behind the words.

  Because she knew, that no matter what happened, what was between them would never really die.

  * * *

  Two days later, Sam was still thinking about that night with Lacy.

  Now, standing in the cold wind, staring up at the clear blue sky dotted with massive white clouds, his brain was free to wander. And as always, it went straight to Lacy.

  Everything she’d said to him kept replaying through his mind and her image was seared into his memory. He’d never forget how she’d looked, standing there in her robe, eyes glinting with fury, her mouth still full from his kisses. The old Lacy wouldn’t have told him off—she’d have hugged her anger close and just looked...hurt.

  What did it say about him that this new Lacy—full of fire and fury—intrigued him even more than the one he used to know?

  Being with her again had hit him far harder than he had expected. The feel of her skin, the sound of her sighs, the brush of her lips on his. It was more than sexual, it was...deeper than that. She’d reclaimed that piece of his heart that he had excised so carefully two years before. And now he wasn’t sure what to do about that.

  Of course, he’d steered clear of the office for the past two days, giving himself the time and space to do some serious thinking. But so far, all he’d come up with was...he still wanted her.

  Two years he’d denied himself what he most wanted—Lacy. Now she was within reach again and he wasn’t about to deny himself any longer. She might think that what was between them had died...but if he had killed it, then he could resurrect it. He had to believe that, because the alternative was unacceptable.

  He tossed a glance at the office window and considered going in to—what? Talk? No, he wasn’t intereste
d in more conversation that simply ended up being a circular argument. And what he was interested in couldn’t be done in the office when anyone could walk in on them. So he determinedly pushed aside those thoughts and focused instead on work. On his plans.

  Sam walked into the lodge and headed straight through the lobby for the elevator. He paid no attention to the people gathered in front of a blazing fire or the hum of conversations rising and falling. There were a few things he needed to go over with his father. One idea in particular had caught his imagination and he wanted to run it past his dad.

  He found the older man in his favorite chair in the family great room. But for the murmuring of the TV, the house was quiet and Sam was grateful for the reprieve. He wasn’t in the mood to face Kristi’s antagonism or his mother’s quiet reproach.

  “Hey, Sam,” his father said, giving a quick look around as if checking to make sure his wife wasn’t around. “How about a beer?”

  Sam grinned. His father had the look of a desperate man. “Mom okay with that?”

  “No, she’s not,” he admitted with a grimace. “But since you got home, she’s stocked the fridge. So while she’s in town, we could take advantage.”

  He looked so damn hopeful, Sam didn’t have the heart to shoot him down. “Sure, Dad. I’ll risk it with you.”

  His father slapped his hands together, then gave them a quick rub in anticipation. Pushing out of his chair, he led the way to the kitchen, his steps long and sure. It was good to see his father more himself. Bob Wyatt wasn’t the kind of man to take to sitting in a recliner for long. The inactivity alone would kill him.

  In the kitchen, Sam took a seat at the round oak table and waited while his dad pulled two bottles of beer out of the fridge. He handed one to Sam, kept the other for himself and sat down. Twisting off the top, Bob took a long drink, sighed in pleasure and gave his son a wide smile. “Your mother’s so determined to have me eating tree bark and drinking healthy sludge, this beer’s like a vacation.”

  “Yeah,” Sam said, taking a sip of his own, “but if she comes in suddenly, you’re on your own.”

  “Coward.”

  Sam grinned. “Absolutely.”

  With a good-natured shrug, Bob said, “Can’t blame you. So, want to tell me why you’re stopping by in the middle of the day?”

  He couldn’t very well admit to avoiding Lacy, so Sam went right to the point. “You know we’ve got a lot of plans in motion for the resort.”

  “Yeah.” Bob took another sip and nodded. “I’ve got to say you’ve got some good ideas, Sam. I like your plan so far, though I’m a little concerned about just how much of your own money you’re pumping into this place.”

  “Don’t worry about that.” Sam had enough money to last several lifetimes, and if he couldn’t enjoy spending it, what was the point of accruing it?

  “Well,” his father said, “I’ll keep worrying over it and you’ll keep spending, so we all do what we can.”

  Sam grinned again. God, he hadn’t even realized how much he’d missed being able to sit down and talk to his dad. Just the simplicity of being in this kitchen again, sharing a beer with the man who had raised him, eased a lot of the still-jagged edges inside him.

  “If you like the plans so far, you’ll like this one, too.” Sam cupped the beer bottle between his palms and took a second to get his thoughts in order. While he did, he glanced around the familiar kitchen.

  Pale green walls, white cabinets and black granite countertops, this room had been the heart of the Wyatt family for years. Hell, he, Jack and Kristi had all sat around this table doing homework before the requisite family dinner. This room had witnessed arguments, laughter and tears. It was the gathering place where everyone came when they needed to be heard. To be loved.

  “Sam?”

  “Yeah. Sorry.” He shook his head and gave a rueful smile. “Lots of memories here.”

  “Thick as honey,” his father agreed. “More good than bad, though.”

  “True.” Even when Jack was going through cancer treatment, the family would end up here, giving each other the strength to keep going. He could almost hear his brother’s laughter and the pain of that memory etched itself onto his soul.

  “You’re not the only one who misses him, you know.” His father’s voice was soft, low.

  “Sometimes,” Sam admitted on a sigh, “I still expect him to walk into the room laughing, telling me it was all a big mistake.”

  “Being here makes it easier and harder all at the same time,” his father said softly. “Because even if I can fool myself at times, when I see his chair at the table sitting empty, I have to acknowledge that’s he’s really gone.”

  Sam’s gaze shot to that chair now.

  “But the good memories are stronger than the pain and that’s a comfort when you let it be.”

  “You think I don’t want to be comforted?” Sam looked at his father.

  “I think when Jack died you decided you weren’t allowed to be happy.”

  Stunned, Sam didn’t say anything.

  “You take too much on yourself, Sam,” Bob said. “You always did.”

  As he sipped his beer, Sam considered that and admitted silently that his father was right. About all of it. Maybe what had driven him from home wasn’t only losing Jack and needing to see his twin’s dreams realized—but the fact that he had believed, deep down, that with Jack gone, Sam didn’t deserve to be happy. It was something to consider. Later.

  Shaking his head, he said, “About this latest idea...”

  Apparently accepting that Sam needed a change of subject, his father nodded. “What’re you thinking?”

  “I want to initiate a new beginner’s ski run on the backside of the mountain,” Sam said, jumping right in. “The slope’s gentle, there’re fewer trees and it’s wide enough we could set it up to have two runs operating all the time.”

  “Yeah, there’s a problem with that,” Bob said, and took another drink of his beer.

  The hesitation in his father’s voice had Sam’s internal radar lighting up. “What?”

  “The thing is, that property doesn’t belong to us anymore.”

  The radar was now blinking and shrieking inside him. “What’re you talking about?”

  “You know Lacy’s family has lived on that slope for years...”

  “Yeah...” Sam had the distinct feeling he wasn’t going to like where this was going.

  “Well, after you left, Lacy was in a bad way.” Bob frowned as he said it and Sam knew his father was the master of understatement. Guilt pinged around inside him like a wildly ricocheting bullet. “So, your mother and I, we deeded the property to her. Felt like it was the least we could do to try to ease her hurt.”

  Sam muffled the groan building in his chest. His decision to leave was now coming back to bite him in so many different ways. Most especially with the woman he still wanted more than his next breath.

  “So, if you’re determined to build that beginner run, you’re going to have to deal with Lacy.”

  Letting his head hit his chest, Sam realized that dealing with Lacy pretty much summed up his entire life at the moment. He thought about the look in her eyes when he left her cabin the other night. The misery stamped there despite what they’d just shared—hell, maybe because of that.

  Leaving here was something he’d had to do. Coming back meant facing the consequences of that decision. It wasn’t getting any easier.

  “She never mentioned that you and mom gave her the land,” Sam said.

  “Any reason why she should?”

  “No.” Shaking his head, Sam took another pull on his beer. He wanted that land. How he was going to get it from Lacy, he didn’t know yet. As things stood between them at the moment, he was sure that she would never sell him that slope. And maybe it’d be
best to just forget about getting his hands on it. The land was Lacy’s, and he ought to back off. But for now, there were other things he wanted to talk to his father about. “You know that photo of the lodge in spring? The one hanging over the fireplace here?”

  “Yeah, what about it?”

  “I’d like to use it on the new website I’m having designed so I’ll need to talk to the photographer. I want to show the lodge in all the seasons with photos that rotate out, always changing. The one I’m talking about now, with Mom’s tulips a riot of color and that splash of deep blue sky—the picture really shows the lodge in a great way.”

  “It’s one of Lacy’s.”

  Sam looked at his dad for a long moment, then actually laughed, unsurprised. “Of course it is. Just like I suppose the shot of the lodge in winter, with the Christmas tree in the front window is hers, too?”

  His father nodded, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he took a sip of his beer. “You got it. She’s made a name for herself in the last year or so. We’ve had hotel guests buy the photos right off the walls.” He shook his head, smiling to himself. “Lacy does us up some extra prints just so we can accommodate the tourists. She’s been making some good money selling her photos through a gallery in Ogden, too.”

  “She never mentioned it.”

  And it was weird to realize that he was so out of touch with Lacy. There had been a time when they were so close, nothing between them was secret. Now there was an entire chunk of her life that he knew nothing about. His own damn fault and he knew it, but that didn’t make it any easier to choke down.

  His father nodded sagely. “Uh-huh. Again, any reason why she should have?”

  “No.” Blowing out a breath in frustration, Sam leaned back in his kitchen chair and studied his father. There was a sly expression on the older man’s face that told Sam his father was enjoying this. “She doesn’t owe me a thing. I get that. But damn it, we shared a lot of great times, too. Don’t they mean something? Okay fine. I left. But I’m back now. That counts, too, doesn’t it?”