by Pamela Bauer
She took the card and slipped it into her pocket. “I’ll talk to Dr. Carson today.”
“I’d appreciate that. It would be better for Megan if you didn’t visit her. She’s still a very sick little girl and it wouldn’t be good to upset her.”
“What if I am her mother?” she asked.
“You’re not. I’m certain of it.”
“Then Megan will realize that, too. Haven’t you considered that the more time she spends with me, the more differences she’ll notice?”
He knew she could be right. It was, after all, what had happened to him. The more he saw Faith, the less she reminded him of Christie. For one thing there was a shyness about her that was in direct contrast to the confidence Christie had exuded. Faith carefully chose her words when she spoke, often using silence for emphasis. Christie, on the other hand, had been a fast talker, blurting out whatever was on her mind. And then there was their physical appearances. At first glance one would say they bore an incredible likeness to one another, but Adam could see that Christie’s appeal had a lot to do with the expert way she applied her makeup and wore her clothes. Faith, on the other hand, had a natural beauty, her skin free of cosmetics, her wardrobe simple.
He had no doubt that as soon as the DNA test was complete, he would have proof that they were not the same person. He worried, however, that Megan might only see what she wanted to see.
He shook his head. “You could be right, but I’m not sure I want to take the chance.”
He thought she would protest but she simply said, “I understand.” She glanced at the clock on the wall. “I guess there’s nothing more to say then, is there? If you’ll excuse me, I need to get to work.” And without another word, she walked toward the bank of elevators.
CHAPTER FIVE
WHILE FAITH WAITED for the elevator she refused to glance in Adam Novak’s direction. She needed to put the man out of her thoughts and wished she could banish him to the part of her memory that was malfunctioning.
He’d treated her as if she were some kind of threat to his daughter, which was ridiculous. She loved children and would never do anything to harm Megan. She was a beautiful, sweet little girl. Possibly her beautiful, sweet little girl.
Faith wished she could either confirm or deny that possibility. So far, the closest thing she’d had was the flash of an image that had placed her on the side of a highway with cars whizzing by. She would need a lot more pieces of the puzzle before she would have any sort of picture.
Unfortunately, today she only had one piece and it didn’t answer questions, but raised them. Why had she been standing on the side of a busy highway? Had she been waiting for a bus? Where was she going? Was it a memory from the night Avery and Marie had rescued her?
Whatever it was, it had stunned her momentarily. She could have told Adam the reason she’d jerked away from him, but he’d made it clear that her lost memory was not his concern. To him, all that mattered was getting the proof that she wasn’t Christie Anderson.
As hard as she tried, she couldn’t resist one last look in his direction. He’d stopped at the nursing station, but he chose that moment to glance back to the elevators. It was almost as if he knew she was looking for him. Their eyes met briefly. The look she saw there made her insides feel as if someone were running a feather up and down her body. She wondered what it would be like to kiss those lips. Then it dawned on her. The possibility existed that they had been lovers at one time.
She looked away, not wanting to think about it, but it seemed to echo through every nerve inside her, sending a blush from her head all the way down to her toes. It was an eerie feeling, knowing that a man could have seen her naked and touched her in her most intimate places without her having any recollection of it. Was it any wonder that every time she saw him her heartbeat increased and she found it difficult not to be attracted to him?
She jabbed a finger at the elevator call button for a second time, wanting to be far away from his gaze. She needed to get him out of her thoughts, and was relieved when a car arrived.
As she took the brief ride to the hospital’s main floor she realized that for the first time since she’d been volunteering at the child-care center, she wasn’t eager to go to work. What she wanted to do was talk to Dr. Carson.
But after only a few minutes in the nursery, she was glad she hadn’t given in to the temptation to ask for time off. As usual, the children left in her care gave her a sense of purpose, and she put all thoughts of Adam and Megan out of her mind until her lunch break. Then she phoned the Carson home and left a message for Avery to call her.
He did better than that. He stopped by to see her on her afternoon break. Over a cup of hot chocolate in the hospital cafeteria, she told him everything that had been weighing on her mind all morning. The dream she’d had the night before, the talk she’d had with Megan, the flash of memory and Adam’s request for the DNA test.
“I think the DNA test is a good idea,” the retired doctor told her in his baritone voice that always made her feel as if she had a warm blanket draped around her. On a white paper napkin he drew a diagram as he explained the genetics of parents and their children. “If you are Megan’s mother, this side of her DNA will match yours.”
Faith picked up her mug of hot chocolate. “So in three days time I could know who I am.”
“Or who you’re not.”
She took a sip. “Adam Novak doesn’t think I’m Christie Anderson.”
“He could be right.”
“He could be,” she agreed. “He’s hoping the DNA doesn’t match. He doesn’t want me to be Megan’s mother.”
“I think you may be wrong about that,” Avery Carson said, slipping his pen back into his sport jacket. “Any father who loves his daughter would want to spare her the grief of losing her mother if it were at all possible.”
She didn’t disagree, but took another sip of her hot chocolate. “They have an unusual relationship.”
“Why do you say that?”
“She calls him Adam, not Dad.”
Avery frowned. “Maybe she’s trying to sound grown-up.”
“I don’t think that’s it.”
“You think it means they have a troubled relationship?”
She shrugged. “Something’s not right.”
“From the little time I spent talking with the man yesterday he struck me as a very concerned, loving father,” the older man commented.
“When did you speak to him?”
“He called last night to make sure you were all right. He was concerned about you.”
That sent an unwanted shiver of pleasure through her. “There was no reason to be.” She set down her mug.
“This can’t be an easy situation for him,” Dr. Carson pointed out.
“No, I’m sure it isn’t, but Megan wants to talk to me. She thinks I’m her mother.”
“And that’s tugging on your heartstrings, isn’t it?” She nodded and he continued. “Her father could be right…she could be confused. At any rate, you’ll know in a few days.”
Faith toyed with the spoon sitting next to her mug. “It’s a very strange feeling…being totally dependent on someone else to identify who you are.”
“That could soon change. If today is any indication, it may be that those pieces of the puzzle you’re missing are going to start falling into place.”
“You think my memory might be returning?”
“It could be. That one piece this morning could be the first of many that will pop into your head. You’re going to have to be patient, however. It could take time for all of them to come together,” he cautioned her.
Faith knew it was useless to ask him how much time. For weeks she’d been asking that question of the doctors and each time she received the same answer. She needed to focus on the fact that for the first time she had seen a glimpse into her past. It was what she’d been waiting for, yet she couldn’t help but feel apprehensive at the same time.
“You look worried.�
� Avery read her face accurately.
“I am,” she admitted. “You know how much I want to find out who I am, but today, when I finally saw a part of my past…” She trailed off, not sure how to put into words what she was feeling.
He reached across the table and covered her hand with his. “Are you frightened of what you’re going to discover?” When she nodded he added, “That’s to be expected. It’s the fear of the unknown. It can make all of us apprehensive at times. There was nothing about this particular glimpse of your past that would cause you to think you need to be fearful, was there?”
“I’m not sure. It happened so quickly and was gone in an instant. It’s almost as if I imagined it. You don’t think I did imagine it, do you?”
“No, I don’t. And I think if you try hard enough, you can recall the image again.” He leaned forward and took her hands in his. “I want you to close your eyes and try to bring the memory back. I’ll help you.”
She did as he told her, listening closely as he spoke to her in his soothing voice, urging her to relax and let the memory return. “You said you were standing on the shoulder of a highway. Can you see yourself watching the cars go by?”
She did see them. “Yes. It’s dark and there’s snow on the ground. And I have a suitcase.”
“Just play the image over and over in your mind.” He let a brief silence stretch between them before saying, “Do you remember what you were thinking as you stood on the side of the road?”
Faith shook her head. “I was unhappy.”
“Why were you unhappy?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I just know I wanted to get away.”
“Away from what?”
She paused, trying to recall the emotions the image refused to tell her, but was unsuccessful. “Just away.”
“What was your destination?”
“I don’t know.”
“How were you planning to get there?”
“I don’t know.” Faith sighed in frustration and opened her eyes. “It’s not much, is it?”
Again Avery Carson patted her hand. “It’s a start. In time you’ll learn more.”
“Like what I was running away from.”
“Or whom,” he suggested gently.
“And where I was going. And why I never got there. That’s the scary part,” she admitted, suppressing a shudder.
“We know you had some kind of trauma. Your injuries indicate that,” he stated evenly. “And if you had a suitcase there’s the possibility you were simply visiting someone who lived in this area.”
“Wouldn’t they have reported me as missing when I didn’t arrive?”
His thick gray eyebrows drew closer together. “I wish I had the answer for you, Faith.”
“You don’t think I’m from this area, do you?”
“Your description didn’t match any of the local missing-person reports and I have to think that someone in your family or a friend would have notified the authorities that you’re missing.”
“Unless they don’t know I’m gone. Maybe I was going away and not expected to be in communication,” she speculated.
“It’s a possibility,” he noted, although she could tell by the tone of his voice that he didn’t think it was likely. “Eventually we’ll have all the answers.”
“You sound confident about that.”
“I am. If this DNA test doesn’t tell us who you are, in time your memory will. The answers are out there, Faith. You just have to be patient.”
Faith only hoped that when she did find them she wouldn’t regret wishing she had a past.
ALL AFTERNOON Faith watched the door of the child-care center, expecting Adam to return with information regarding the DNA test. When five o’clock came and there’d been no word from him, she was both relieved and disappointed. She didn’t want to see him again, yet she was anxious to have the DNA issue resolved.
As she pulled on her coat she noticed a pregnant woman in the corridor. When the woman realized that she’d been caught staring at Faith, she quickly averted her eyes. She didn’t, however, move away from the window.
Any doubt Faith may have had that she hadn’t been the object of her scrutiny was erased when she stepped out into the corridor and the woman approached her.
“You’re Faith, aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement.
“Yes. Can I help you?”
“I’m Lori Novak. Megan’s aunt.” She smiled as she held out her hand.
Faith didn’t hesitate to shake it. “Of course. Hello.” She now understood why the woman had been staring at her.
“Adam asked me to give you this.” It was then that Faith noticed she had a small package in her left hand. “It’s the DNA kit. He said everything you need is inside, along with instructions. If you have any questions, there’s a number you can call, but I don’t think you’ll have any problems. It’s pretty straightforward and easy to understand.”
“Thank you. I appreciate you bringing this.” Faith held on to the box as if it contained something fragile, relieved that the purpose of Lori’s visit was to deliver the package. It was nice to know Lori hadn’t come simply to gawk at her and compare her resemblance to Megan’s mother.
“Adam would have delivered it himself but he was eating dinner with Megan and I was on my way home, so I offered to bring it,” she said with a cheerfulness that sounded forced to Faith’s ears.
“Please relay my thanks to him and tell him that I’ll take care of this as soon as I get home.”
“He’ll be glad to hear that. He wants this resolved quickly…for everyone’s sake, but especially for Megan’s.”
“Of course. She’s a lovely child.”
Lori smiled. “Yes, she is. The poor thing’s had a rough go of it the past couple of days with the surgery and all.”
Faith knew that the “and all” referred to her. “I’m sorry that my appearance has upset her.”
Lori shrugged. “It’s not your fault that you look like her mother. It’s easy to see how any child could be confused under the circumstances. It would be a shame for her to be hurt after what she’s already suffered.”
Faith didn’t appreciate the implied warning. She already had Adam Novak treating her as if she were an adversary. She didn’t need another one of Megan’s relatives regarding her in the same light.
At that moment a mother and a small child came out of the child-care center. The little boy ran up to Faith.
“I made a picture for you,” he boasted, shoving in her direction a paper scribbled with crayon.
“Why, thank you!” she gushed, bending down to his level to speak to him. “Are you sure you don’t want to take it home for your mommy?”
Suddenly shy, he had his finger in his mouth as he said, “Uh-uh. It’s for you.”
Faith held the picture at arm’s length. “This is perfect. I’ll hang it up so I can see it every day.” She exchanged a few comments with the boy’s mother before she whisked her son away.
As Faith watched them leave, Lori said, “You like kids, don’t you?”
Faith wondered what Adam had said about her to his sister-in-law. “I may not know what’s in my past, but I do know that children are to be treated as the gifts from God they are, Ms. Novak. So if the reason you really came today was to warn me not to hurt your niece, it was unnecessary.” She didn’t want to be on the defensive, but she felt as if Adam Novak had put her there.
Lori Novak’s face softened in apology. “I’m sorry. I haven’t handled this very well.” She arched her back and grimaced. “Do you think we could sit down?”
Faith led her to the lounge where she fell back against the cushions of a sofa with a sigh. Faith took the chair next to her.
“I’ll admit I came to see you because I was curious,” Lori began. “And yes, I’m worried about my niece. Wouldn’t you be?”
Faith simply said, “Yes.” She thought about telling her why she’d gone to Megan this morning, but decided against it. She wa
s certain Adam had already given his sister-in-law his version of what had happened.
To her surprise, however, Lori said, “Megan told me you came to see her this morning.”
“What did she say?”
“Oh, lots of things. All of them good.” This time her cheerfulness wasn’t forced. “You managed to do something that her father and I haven’t accomplished since she’s been in the hospital.”
“And what would that be?”
“Make her smile. She’s hoping you’ll come see her again.”
“I plan to.”
“Even though my brother-in-law asked you not to?”
“You said Megan wants to see me.”
“Yes. She thinks you’re her mother and honestly, I can see why. When she said you looked just like her I expected there to be a similarity but…” Lori paused, scrutinizing her face closely. “It’s amazing how much you look like Christie.”
“Do I sound like her, too?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “We never had a chance to meet. My knowledge of Christie comes from what Megan’s told me and from the pictures I’ve seen. And I must say, you look very much like the woman in those photographs.”
“Your brother-in-law doesn’t think I do and he should know. They did have a child together.”
“Yes, but…” Lori paused, chewing on her lip for several moments before saying, “There are circumstances you don’t know about.”
Faith didn’t feel as if she had any business asking what they were. “Tell me something. Do you think I’m her mother?”
“Considering everything that happened, it doesn’t seem likely,” she admitted.
“No it doesn’t, but the fact is it’s not impossible, either.”
“You’re hoping you are Christie, aren’t you?” Lori observed accurately.
“At least if someone claimed me, I would have a name and a family. It might not help me remember my past, but I would know who I am. It’s terrible not having an identity.”