by Pamela Bauer
“You do realize that finding out you are Megan’s mother would mean more unanswered questions,” she cautioned her.
“You mean because she’s been missing since September?”
Lori nodded.
Faith sighed. “Until my memory returns, there will be unanswered questions. Lots of them. There’s nothing I can do about it. I have to believe though, that finding out who my family is will help.”
“It must be terribly lonely for you,” Lori said.
“Yes, it is.” Faith lowered her eyes. “No woman wants to believe she could ever forget her own child. Even if Megan isn’t my daughter, there could be another little girl or boy out there who’s feeling the same kind of loss as she’s experienced.”
“Do you feel like you’re a mother?”
“I’m so unsure about everything that I honestly don’t know. I love kids—that much I am sure of—and the first time I looked at Megan I felt some kind of connection. She’s a beautiful little girl any mother would love to claim as her own. Now whether that’s wishful thinking or if it’s some maternal instinct that’s working even if my memory isn’t, I can’t say.”
Lori’s brown eyes were filled with compassion. “My brother-in-law wouldn’t appreciate me saying this, but I think you should visit Megan.”
“But you said you don’t think I’m her mother.”
She shrugged. “I know, but I still think you should go see her again. It’s just a feeling I have. I know my niece…probably better than her father does.”
Faith nodded. “Megan said you take care of her.”
Lori smiled with genuine affection. “Yes, when Adam’s gone…which is a lot. He’s hired several different sitters but none has worked out and she always ends up back at my house. Which is fine. I love having her. She’s quite precocious for a six-year-old. The first day she stayed with me she was giving me cooking tips. Do you like to cook?”
“Yes, although I haven’t had much opportunity to do any. I don’t have my own kitchen where I’m staying.”
“Christie must have spent a lot of time baking because Megan is very comfortable in the kitchen. She told me she would help me when I make my bread because she likes to punch it down.” Lori chuckled. “I had to tell her the only bread that ever shows up on my table is the kind that comes out of a plastic wrapper.”
“Kneading dough can be very therapeutic,” Faith told her.
“Then you’ve made your own bread, too?” Lori looked at her curiously.
“I don’t know,” she answered, rubbing her fingers across her forehead. “I mean I don’t remember making it, but I must have because I know I like the sensation of dough in my fingers.” Seeing the other woman’s puzzled expression she added, “That’s what’s so odd about this amnesia. I have knowledge yet I can’t remember specific events.” Not wanting to focus on herself she said, “Tell me more about Megan…if you don’t mind, that is.”
“No, I don’t mind at all. She’s very excited about the baby coming.” Lori glanced down as she placed a hand on her stomach. “She says she can’t wait to meet her cousin. She likes to sit next to me and read aloud to the baby and she’s begging us to allow her to be present at the birth.”
“It looks as if that will be soon,” Faith observed.
“Not for another month according to the doctor. I don’t know how I’m going to survive that long. I can barely bend over to tie my shoes, I’m waddling when I walk and some days it feels as if this little guy is going to kick his way out.” She grimaced as she shifted on the sofa. “He’s at it right now. I think he’s telling me it’s time to go home.”
Faith smiled in understanding.
Lori pushed herself up from the sofa and extended her hand. “It was nice meeting you, Faith.”
Faith echoed the sentiment, adding, “Thank you for bringing me the test kit and for telling me about Megan.”
“I hope you will visit her. Like you, she’s looking for answers, too.”
“Only a different kind,” Faith said to herself as she watched the other woman walk away. Megan wanted to bring back a past that she remembered. Faith simply wanted to remember.
IT HAD BEEN a long day for Adam. Despite appearing to be on the road to recovery, Megan was not yet out of danger. The infection from her ruptured appendix had her under close observation by the hospital staff. Although the doctor had assured him it wasn’t uncommon for patients to suffer minor setbacks in recovery, Adam couldn’t help but wonder if the emotional upheaval Faith’s appearance had caused wasn’t responsible for his daughter’s slow progress.
He wished he could blame it all on Faith. It would make it easy to justify asking her not to visit Megan again.
Only, he couldn’t justify keeping the two of them apart. He’d spent most of the day in Megan’s room, watching her sleep. He wasn’t sorry that the medication made her drowsy. When she was awake, the only subject she wanted to talk about was her mommy, her eyes moving often to the door, hoping that every set of footsteps she heard coming down the hallway would belong to the baby rocker.
Megan wasn’t the only one who watched the door. He found himself turning at the sound of footsteps, expecting she was going to defy his request that she not visit his daughter. He was right. She did.
The following afternoon she appeared with a stack of children’s books in her hands. When she came through the door, Adam felt a little catch in his chest. Dressed in a dark pair of slacks and the blue and green smock, and with her shoulder-length blond hair falling gracefully around her face, she had a shyness about her that made him think she was as wholesome as her appearance.
When she saw that Megan was asleep she looked at Adam and said in a low voice, “I’m on my lunch break and thought I’d stop in. I had hoped to read her a story but I can see she’s resting.”
“It’s the medication. She’s been sleepy all day,” Adam explained as he rose from his spot next to the bed.
“That’s good. She needs to rest to get better.” She kept her voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll come back another time.”
She turned and would have gone out the door but Adam stopped her. “Wait.” He moved toward her. “I need to ask you about the test sample. Did the courier pick it up?”
“Yes. Last night.”
“Any problems?”
“None. He said we can expect results within three to five days.”
He nodded. “I asked for rush service.”
Faith glanced toward the bed where Megan was sleeping. “It’s best to get this resolved as soon as possible. Will you tell Megan I stopped by?”
“Sure,” he answered, knowing perfectly well he wasn’t going to do any such thing. He didn’t see any reason to encourage his daughter’s fantasy as to who this woman was.
But before she could leave a tiny voice called out, “I’m not asleep.”
Faith looked back over her shoulder and smiled. “Hello. How are you?”
“Better. I’ve been waiting for you to come.” Seeing her standing in the doorway she asked, “Aren’t you going to come in?”
Faith glanced at Adam. The look in her eye pleaded with him to let her stay.
“Faith has come to read you a story,” he said. “That is, if you feel up to it. You look tired.”
“No, I’m not tired,” she denied, then promptly yawned. “I want her to stay.”
He hesitated, wondering if he wasn’t making a mistake. “All right,” he finally conceded. The smile on his daughter’s face told him he’d made the right decision.
When Faith would have taken the chair next to the bed, Megan asked, “Can you crawl under the covers with me? That’s the way you used to read me stories.”
“I think the nurses would scold me if I did that,” Faith told her. “How about if I pull my chair up close to the bed so you can see the pictures?”
“Okay,” she agreed.
“Which one would you like for me to read?” Faith asked, spreading the books out in front of her so that
Megan could choose. Adam returned to his chair at the foot of the bed and watched the interaction between the two of them. The physical resemblance between them was so obvious that he was tempted to ignore everything the attorney had told him about the probability of Faith being Christie.
But the longer he stared at Faith the more doubts he had that she was the woman he’d slept with the night of the stag party. She had mannerisms that didn’t fit with his memory of Christie—and it was hard for Adam to believe that this modest woman sitting next to his daughter could ever have been an exotic dancer. Having amnesia wouldn’t change one’s personality so dramatically…or would it? It was a question he should have asked Dr. Carson.
Whoever she was, he couldn’t deny that she was very good with his daughter, revealing why the hospital staff held such a high opinion of her work in the children’s center. Although Megan wanted to talk, it was obvious Faith didn’t, which surprised Adam. He’d expected that she’d ask all sorts of questions hoping that the answers would jar her memory. However, whenever Megan mentioned her mother, Faith gently guided her attention back to the story she was reading. She treated Megan as if she were just another of the many hospital patients she visited.
Because she’d come on her lunch hour, her time with Megan was short, but she did promise she’d stop in before she went home for the day. When Megan spread her arms and asked if she could have a hug before she left, Faith didn’t look to Adam for permission. She bent over and gently wrapped her arms around his daughter and told her to get well soon. Then with a quick glance in Adam’s direction, she left.
“I wish she could have stayed longer,” Megan said as soon as Faith was gone.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, changing the subject.
“I’m a little hungry,” she admitted, then yawned. “Do you think I could have a snack?”
“I don’t see why not. Would you like me to see if you can have some ice cream?” Adam offered.
“Yes, please,” she said politely, then tugged her covers up close to her chin as she snuggled her head into the pillow.
“I’m going to go get you that ice cream. I’ll be right back, okay?” He’d only taken a few steps down the hall when he saw his sister-in-law coming toward him.
“I just passed Faith in the hallway. Did she visit Megan?”
He nodded. “She read her a story.”
“How did Megan react to seeing her today?”
“About the same as she did yesterday.”
“I know you’re worried about her, but she’s going to get through all of this just fine.”
“I hope you’re right. I’ll feel a hell of a lot better when we get the results of the DNA test and we can put an end to this, once and for all.” He raked a hand over his head. “I just can’t believe this is happening.”
“It is a bit bizarre. If Faith turns out to be Christie, it has to make you wonder if she hasn’t had the amnesia longer than she believes she has.”
“She isn’t Christie,” he insisted.
“I know you don’t believe she is, but I have to tell you, Adam, she does look an awful lot like the pictures I’ve seen of her.”
He groaned. “Oh, not you, too. It’s bad enough that Megan thinks she’s her mother.”
“I didn’t say I believe she is Christie, but I think you need to be prepared for the possibility that the test reveals she is,” she cautioned him.
“No, I don’t because she isn’t,” he stated adamantly.
Lori held up her hands. “All right. She isn’t,” she conceded. “But don’t you think it’s odd that Megan wouldn’t know that Faith isn’t her mother?”
“She’s confused.”
“She seems lucid to me. Whoever this Faith woman is, I feel sorry for her. It must be terrible not knowing who you are.”
“Yes, well you can feel as sorry as you like. I have my daughter to worry about.”
Lori clicked her tongue. “What exactly do you have against the woman? Is it the fact that she looks so much like Christie?”
“No,” he answered, which wasn’t exactly the truth. Faith did evoke feelings in him that he’d rather not acknowledge, but he didn’t even want to admit them to himself. He found her attractive. There was no point in pretending he didn’t, but why he was attracted to her was a matter he didn’t want to explore. “I’m just exercising caution, that’s all. I mean, how many people have you met with amnesia?”
“None.”
“That’s my point. From everything I’ve read it’s unusual to have the kind of memory loss she has.”
Lori shrugged. “So she has a rare case of amnesia.” She stared at him. “So what are you insinuating? That she’s faking it?”
It was one of many thoughts that had crossed his mind in the past two days, yet hearing it aloud made him realize how ridiculous it sounded. “Amnesia or no amnesia, we know nothing about her past nor is there any way to check her credentials.”
“You can speak to the doctor who’s taken her into his home. He obviously trusts her.”
Adam didn’t want to admit that he already had. Or that he’d made inquiries at the hospital and come up with nothing that would confirm his suspicions that she wasn’t being completely honest. He’d even thought about getting her fingerprints and taking them to a friend who worked for the police department.
“I’m just wondering if maybe she isn’t hiding something,” he suggested.
“How can she hide something she can’t remember?” She glanced at her watch. “I only have a couple of hours so I’m going to go in and sit with Megan.”
Which was his sister-in-law’s way of saying she’d lost patience with him, something that was occurring more frequently now that he was a new father.
“I have to look out for Megan and act in her best interest,” he told her before she went into his daughter’s room.
“You are acting in her best interest. You’re letting her see Faith.”
Yes, he was, and it was only because Megan cried when he suggested it might be better if Faith didn’t visit that he encouraged her to return. She came every day, bringing more books and producing smiles and laughter from his daughter. During the visits when Lori was present, the three of them chatted as if it were the most natural thing in the world, leaving Adam to feel like an outsider.
On the sixth morning of Megan’s hospital stay he was at home eating breakfast when a courier delivered the results of the lab test. With his heart pounding in his throat, he tore open the envelope and pulled out the report. He didn’t realize he was holding his breath until he exhaled a long sigh.
Faith’s DNA did not match Megan’s.
CHAPTER SIX
ADAM DIDN’T BOTHER to finish his breakfast but went straight to the hospital, relieved that he could put an end to the speculation that Christie was still alive. For the past five days, a dark cloud of uncertainty had shadowed their lives. Now a refreshing wind had arrived in the form of a DNA test that would clear the air. Brighter days were ahead.
He’d intended to go straight to Megan’s room, but as he waited for an elevator, he saw Faith coming through the main entrance. She walked briskly, her cheeks flushed from the cold, her blond hair peeking out from under a red woolen hat.
At first she didn’t notice him, but when she passed the bank of elevators, her eyes met his. She didn’t acknowledge his presence, but quickly averted her gaze, acting as if she hadn’t seen him.
He knew she had. It was there on her face as she headed down the corridor leading to the child-care center. She’d noticed him but hadn’t wanted to talk to him.
He knew it shouldn’t bother him, but it did. On this day of all days when he had something of extreme importance to tell her, she had looked straight through him as if he didn’t exist. A bell chimed, indicating an elevator car was available. He should have stepped inside and gone up to Megan’s room.
He should have, but he didn’t. He went after Faith.
“Good morning,” he said as he ca
ught up to her.
She kept on walking, tossing a “good morning” at him with a sideways glance.
“I need to talk to you,” he said, matching her stride.
“I’m short on time this morning. Can it wait until I visit Megan this afternoon?”
“That’s why I want to talk to you. You don’t have to visit her again. I have the results from the DNA test.” That brought her to a halt. “You’re not Christie Anderson.”
The color drained from cheeks that had been pink from the cold. “Megan was wrong?” It was more of a shock to her than he’d expected it to be.
He handed her the report. As she read the test results, she reminded him of the way Megan had looked the first day he’d brought her to his house. Lost. Vulnerable. And just as he had with his daughter, he found himself wanting to comfort her. “I’m sorry this isn’t the news you wanted.”
Her eyes sparkled with emotion. “But it is the news that you wanted, isn’t it?” She shoved the report back at him and took off down the hall.
“Faith, wait!” he called out, but she didn’t stop. He easily caught up to her again, stepping in front of her so that she had to stop or walk around him. She stepped around him.
“Can I talk to you, please?” he said, keeping pace with her.
“I think you’ve said all there is to say.”
He wanted to reach out and stop her, but he knew better than to put a hand on her arm. As he watched her scurry into the child-care center, he wished he hadn’t said anything to her at all. What had he been thinking? Of all the places he could have told her the test results, he’d chosen the middle of a hospital corridor at a time when she was already feeling stressed. He shook his head and stared at the paper in his hand, wondering what had happened to that wonderful sense of relief he’d felt only a short while ago.
Now he was faced with the task of telling Megan the news. He braced himself for what he knew would be an emotional scene. When he arrived at her room, he was glad to see that Lori was at her bedside. She always seemed to know what to say and do to reach his daughter when his attempts failed.