by Pamela Bauer
“This is a surprise. I thought you weren’t coming until noon today,” his sister-in-law said as he approached the bed.
“Change of plans.” When he looked at Megan he couldn’t help but notice how her hair was nearly the same shade of blond as Faith’s. It was a meaningless comparison now. “Feeling better today?” he asked her.
“Yes,” she replied politely. “I ate all my breakfast.”
“The doctor was here earlier and he thinks she’ll be going home soon,” Lori added.
“That’s good news.” Adam pulled up a chair and moved it close to the bed. “Don’t you think so, Megan?”
She shrugged her tiny shoulders. “I can’t go to school until I’m all better.”
“That’s all right. I’m going to arrange for someone to stay with you,” he announced to both of them. “Her name is Gwen and she’s a very nice lady.”
Megan crossed her arms. “Not another nanny.”
He glanced at Lori who could only lift her eyebrows in agreement. He knew the reason for his daughter’s remark. In the time she’d been living with him he hadn’t had very good luck with baby-sitters. He’d tried several different arrangements. None had lasted. It was only because of Lori’s willingness to rearrange her work schedule and take responsibility for Megan’s care that he’d had any peace of mind.
“She’s not from the agency. She’s a friend of mine,” Adam said calmly.
Megan rolled her eyes.
“You’ll like her. She’s nice,” he assured her.
“Why do I have to have a nanny? Why can’t I just stay with Lori?” she asked.
Lori looked as if she wanted to speak, but deferred to him. “I’m sure Lori would love to have you stay with her, but in a few weeks she’s going to be having a baby.”
“I’m going to help her with baby Matthew.” She looked at her aunt. “Aren’t I?”
Lori squeezed her hand. “Yes, you are.”
Megan looked back at him. “See. You don’t need to hire anybody.”
He sighed. He hadn’t come here to argue about hiring a nanny. “We can talk about this later. Right now I have something very important I want to tell both of you.” He pulled the DNA test results from his pocket.
“Remember when I told you about the test that could be done to see if Faith is your mommy?” When she nodded, he continued. “The lab sent me the results. They’re right here in this envelope,” he said, holding it in the air.
Megan immediately lowered her eyes. “I’m tired. Can we talk about this later?” She turned away from him, burying her face in the pillow.
Lori placed a hand on her shoulder. “You can rest in a minute, sweetie. Don’t you want to hear what your dad has to say?”
The “no” was muffled.
Adam exchanged glances with Lori who looked as anxious as he felt. “Megan, this is important.” When she didn’t respond he spoke as gently as he could. “I’m sorry. I know this is not what you want to hear, but Faith is not your mother.”
He expected her to protest or to maybe even cry, but she simply kept her face to the pillow. Adam put a finger under her chin and forced her to look up at him.
“Megan, you have to accept that she’s not your mommy. It’s the truth,” he said softly. “People don’t come back from heaven. You believe me, don’t you?”
She nodded soberly. Again she lowered her eyes, but not before Adam saw something there that made him suspect she wasn’t as surprised by his revelation as he thought she’d be.
“You already knew Faith wasn’t your mommy, didn’t you?”
She kept her eyes downcast as her blond head bobbed up and down.
“When did you know?” Lori asked the question they were both thinking.
“That first day she came to see me,” she said softly. “She didn’t sound like Mommy.”
Adam knew exactly what she meant. He’d had the same reaction upon hearing Faith speak, only it had been such a long time since he’d seen Christie, he hadn’t been sure if there really was a difference in their voices or if with maturity had come a lower pitch.
“Why didn’t you tell us you knew she wasn’t your mother?” he asked.
“Because I thought if I said she wasn’t, you wouldn’t have let her come see me,” she explained. “I like the way she reads to me. Mommy was always in a hurry to turn the pages. Faith likes to look at the pictures and talk about them with me. I hope she brings a story about Frog and Toad when she comes today. She said she would.”
Adam had no choice but to tell her, “She’s not coming today, Megan.”
“Why not? Is she sick?” Blue eyes gazed up into his.
“No, she’s not sick,” he answered.
“Then why isn’t she coming?”
He shifted uneasily on the chair, wishing he hadn’t made such a mess of his conversation with Faith earlier that morning. “I thought the reason she was coming to see you was because we didn’t know if she was your mother or not. Now that we know she isn’t, there really isn’t a reason for her to come.”
“Yes, there is. I like her and she likes me and she likes reading to me,” Megan said with an innocence only a child possesses. “She told me so. And sometimes when I close my eyes and listen to her, it’s like hearing the flowers talk.”
Adam didn’t agree with her simile. To him, Faith’s voice was more like hearing the water lap against the side of a boat. Smooth, with the power to hypnotize.
“I’m sure Lori would read to you if you asked her,” he suggested. He looked at his sister-in-law. “Wouldn’t you?”
“Sure. You know what a bookworm I am,” Lori said with a grin.
“But I want to see Faith,” Megan insisted.
Adam exchanged glances with Lori who shrugged in helplessness. He needed to change the subject. “So the nurses tell me we need to think about you going home. That’s good news.”
Megan, however, wasn’t about to be distracted. “Maybe I should call her.” She reached for the phone on the tray next to her bed. “Do you know her number?”
Lori saved him from having to answer by taking the phone out of Megan’s hand. “She’s at work so it probably wouldn’t be a good time to try to reach her.”
“Okay,” Megan said meekly. “Do you think Faith can come to our house and see me?”
“Maybe,” Lori answered.
Adam knew that if his sister-in-law had witnessed the conversation he’d had with Faith earlier she might not sound quite so optimistic. Seeing Megan yawn, he pushed back his chair and stood. “You need to get some rest and I need to go talk to the doctor and see how you’re doing.”
“I’ll come with you,” Lori said. As soon as they had left the room and were far enough away so that Megan wouldn’t hear, she asked, “Did Faith say she wouldn’t come see Megan again?”
“Not exactly,” he hedged.
“What did she say when you told her about the DNA?”
“Not much.”
“She wouldn’t. She’s so quiet. Maybe I’ll stop in and see her at the child-care center,” she said with obvious concern in her voice.
“Why?”
“Because I’m worried about her. She seems like a really nice person and I feel badly that we put her through all of this.”
He stared at her for a moment before saying, “What is it about this woman that makes you feel as if you need to be her advocate?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s because her amnesia makes her so vulnerable right now.”
“Megan is vulnerable, too, which is why I was initially against Faith visiting her. And I had good reason to be concerned.” He jerked his head toward the room they’d just left. “You heard what she said. She knew Faith wasn’t her mother, yet she let us believe she thought she was.”
“Because she was worried you wouldn’t let Faith visit her if she told you the truth.”
“What does she think I am? An ogre?” He asked the rhetorical question, then groaned as six weeks of frustration
at not being able to figure out what his daughter needed from a father escaped like steam out of a boiling teakettle.
Lori wisely didn’t answer, but slipped her arm through his. “Come. Let’s go. I’ll buy you a cup of coffee.” She pulled him in the direction of the lounge.
“Now what do I do? She’s become attached to that woman,” he pointed out.
“I wouldn’t exactly say she’s attached. She’s responding the way any normal child would react to an adult who obviously loves children—and Faith is very good with children. It’s no wonder they have such a high opinion of her in the child-care center.”
“And what makes you think they do?”
“Because I’ve talked to the director.”
“And you call me suspicious?” he asked with an exaggerated drawl.
“That’s not the reason I inquired about her.” They’d reached the lounge and, after buying a coffee for Adam, Lori sank down onto one of the chairs with a sigh.
He took the chair across from hers. “That’s good news about Megan getting released.”
“Aren’t you going to ask me why I went to the child-care center supervisor to ask about Faith?” she asked.
“No, I have more important things on my mind than to discuss a woman we hardly know.” He reached into his pocket for a piece of paper.
“What’s this?” she asked as he handed it to her.
“A list of child-care providers. Those are the names of people I’ve already contacted. Each one has said she’d be interested in the job but I wanted to go over it with you before I select one. Megan didn’t sound very enthusiastic about my friend Gwen.”
“She probably remembers what your friend Erica was like as a baby-sitter,” Lori said dryly. “It’s not a good idea to hire ex-girlfriends to baby-sit your children.”
He ignored her sarcastic comment. “All of those people are affiliated with agencies.”
She took one glance at the list and gave it back to him. “You don’t need this.”
“And why is that?”
“Because I’m going to take care of Megan.”
He didn’t put the list back into his pocket, but kept it in his hands. “I thought you weren’t comfortable being her full-time caregiver. You said you only wanted to be the backup.”
“Yes, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately—and not just because I feel guilty over her appendix rupturing. Megan’s a joy to have around and I want to continue having her with me.”
He glanced at her belly, which looked like a balloon that was about ready to pop. “Have you forgotten you’re pregnant?”
She chuckled. “That’s a little hard to do considering I’m lugging this around,” she said, pointing to her stomach.
“So what happens when the baby comes? You’re going to be in the hospital a few days and you’re going to need some time once you get home to adjust to life with a newborn.”
“I plan to get someone to fill in for me.”
He waved the piece of paper in his hand. “Then you’ll need this.”
She held up a hand. “Nope. I’ve already decided who I want. I’ve checked her references and they’re good.”
“So are you going to tell me the name of this someone?” When she hesitated and began fidgeting, he grew uneasy. It was not like Lori to be nervous about anything. “Just who do you have in mind?”
She lifted her eyes to his and said, “Faith.”
“You’re not serious.”
“Yes, I am. She’d make a wonderful nanny, Adam. She’s proven that she’s great with kids and Megan already is fond of her. Dr. Carson has nothing but good things to say about her and she gets glowing reports from the staff at the child-care center.”
He shook his head. “Not a good idea.” And not for the reasons his sister-in-law suspected.
“Why not?”
“Because it isn’t. The circumstances are too…awkward,” he said for lack of a better word. Awkward described the tension that existed between him and Faith. “She has amnesia.”
“What does that have to do with her taking care of Megan?”
He took a sip of coffee before saying, “We have no idea who she is, what her background is, where she came from, what’s in her past.”
“I thought you told me you’d talked to enough people to feel assured that her story is legitimate.”
“That doesn’t mean I want her to be a nanny to my daughter.”
“She’s only going to be a backup for me. It could be that she only spends two or three days with Megan. I don’t know how I’m going to feel after Matthew is born. I could bounce back quickly.”
“I’d rather you use someone off the agency list. Megan’s already formed an attachment to Faith. What happens when Faith’s memory returns and she leaves? Megan will be heartbroken.”
“Adam, there’s no guarantee that anyone you hire to take care of Megan will stay for as long as you want them to.” She leaned forward, resting her arms on her knees. “I know you’d like to protect her from everything that could possibly cause her pain, but you can’t protect her from life.”
“I can try,” he said soberly.
“There’s a difference between people dying and people moving away. And it’s not like Megan doesn’t have a female role model in her life. She has me. It’s just that I’m going to need help if I’m going to manage a baby and a six-year-old.”
“There are professional nannies.”
“Yes, I know. You’ve been through three of them in six weeks,” she reminded him, holding up three fingers on her right hand. “Plus an old girlfriend,” she added with a cheeky grin.
“Reliable help is hard to find.”
“Yes, it is. So is finding someone you trust and who Megan feels comfortable with. She has enough to cope with already…her mother’s loss, adjusting to a new family, changing schools. It’s no wonder she doesn’t want to spend a good portion of her day with a nanny who’s a total stranger.”
“Faith is a stranger,” he pointed out.
“In your eyes, maybe, but not in Megan’s. She regards her as a friend,” Lori argued. “I’ve watched the two of them together and it’s easy to see why Megan warmed to her so easily. Faith is a lovely person. Besides being very kind, she’s not the least bit pretentious and I like the fact that she’s quiet. She has a soothing presence, don’t you think?”
Soothing was hardly the adjective he’d use when describing the effect Faith’s nearness had on him. Provocative would be more accurate. Whenever she came near him, something definitely stirred inside him.
“We don’t know very much about her,” he said in defense of his reservations.
“I’m wondering if she wasn’t raised on a farm,” Lori said thoughtfully.
“What makes you say that?”
“When she was reading Megan a story about life on a farm, Megan commented on how her mom took her to see the pigs at the county fair and they smelled bad. Faith told her there’s a sweetness to the smell of cows, chickens and even hogs. Said each has its own essence.
“Essence?” Adam wrinkled his brow.
“Yes, and when a picture showed cows being milked by machines, Faith told Megan that hands work just as well and that sometimes small hands work better because they can grasp the cows’ teats without pinching them.”
“What did you say to all of this?”
“That it sounded as if she had firsthand experience. She looked at me and simply shrugged, as if bemused that she even knew such a thing.”
“So you think because she may be a farm girl she’d make a good nanny?”
“No, but don’t you think there’s a wholesomeness to her?”
Adam couldn’t deny that she looked the part of a nanny. “What makes you think she’d even be interested in taking care of Megan?” he asked, intrigued by the possibility despite his reservations.
Lori shrugged. “I don’t know that she is, but we can ask her. I do know that she loves her volunteer position here at the hospi
tal. Why wouldn’t she want to have a job that paid her for doing something she enjoys?”
He could think of a pretty good reason why she wouldn’t. The fact that he was Megan’s father was probably enough to deter her from taking the job.
“So what you think? Should I ask her if she’s interested?” She looked at him eagerly.
He paused for only a moment before saying, “No, I’ll do it. I just hope I don’t regret it.”
FAITH WOULD HAVE WORKED through her lunch hour if Mrs. Carmichael hadn’t insisted she take a break. The best way not to think about the DNA test results was to stay busy.
She should have been prepared for the news that she wasn’t Christie Anderson. Despite Megan’s insistence that she was her mother, Faith had had a feeling that it wasn’t true. She’d hoped that the DNA test would at least give her an identity if not a memory. It had done neither. Now she was back to square one and without any real clues to her past. The only thing that had changed was that she’d met a sweet little girl who tugged on her heartstrings and an attractive man who stirred emotions she didn’t want stirred.
Ever since Adam Novak had walked into the child-care center, she’d been having trouble putting him out of her thoughts—and not just because he could have provided a connection to her past. There was something about the way he looked at her that made her pulse race and her insides scramble. She was surprised he was still single—something she’d learned from Megan, who had also revealed that he had lots of girlfriends. It shouldn’t have surprised Faith. There was a lot to like about Adam Novak.
If there was one good thing to come out of the results of the DNA test it was that she wouldn’t have to see him again. Unfortunately it also meant she wouldn’t see Megan, either.
Adam had made it clear that there no longer was any reason for her to visit Megan, yet she wanted to continue bringing her stories to read. While on her lunch break she purchased a get-well card from the gift shop and found a quiet corner in the cafeteria where she sat down to personalize it. She was in the middle of composing her message when she heard a man’s voice next to her.
“Hello, Faith.”
She glanced up to see Adam Novak standing beside her. As usual, her body reacted to his presence with a pleasurable shiver.