by Pamela Bauer
“Faith?”
He nodded. “When Lori invited her she told her she’d rather baby-sit Matthew, but Lori explained no one has to baby-sit because we’ll be there. By the way, you can bring Megan and she can spend the night.”
“Do you think Faith will be there?”
Greg shrugged. “It’s hard to say. She’s something, isn’t she?” It was a rhetorical question. “I’ve never met a woman who had so little interest in material things. Lori’s always trying to give her things but Faith won’t take them. At first I thought it was because she was proud and she didn’t want to be considered a charity case, but I think she simply isn’t impressed by the things most people regard as status symbols. You don’t suppose she’s a nun, do you?”
“A nun? Don’t be ridiculous!”
“What’s so ridiculous about that? Maybe that’s why she wears a bracelet that says faith on it. She has faith. Get it?”
No, he didn’t, and he didn’t want to even contemplate such a possibility.
“It would explain why she doesn’t really seem to care about money,” his brother went on. “Don’t nuns take a vow of poverty? And look at how she’s always wanting to help someone out. She’s humble and she has a simple lifestyle—” He was building a case Adam didn’t want to hear.
“That doesn’t make her a nun,” he interrupted, wishing his brother had kept his thoughts to himself. It was one thing for Adam to think that he may be competing with another man in Faith’s past and quite another to think she’d taken a vow of chastity.
Greg eyed him curiously. “No, it doesn’t, but it wouldn’t hurt to explore the possibility. There can’t be that many convents in this area.”
“I would think if one of their members had disappeared they would have filed a missing-person report on her,” Adam remarked.
“You’re probably right.” He cocked his head to one side. “Hey—she isn’t the reason you haven’t been seeing any action, is she?”
“Why would you ask that?”
“It’s just something Lori said.”
“And what was that?”
He shrugged. “It was something about the way you look at Faith when you think no one else is looking. You know, all the chick stuff us guys never pay attention to,” he said with a grin.
Adam should have known his sister-in-law would notice that he was having trouble keeping his eyes off Faith. He tried to dismiss her comments with a chuckle. “We don’t need to even open our mouths and they think they know what we’re thinking.”
“I mean it’s not like Faith is anywhere near your type,” Greg noted.
“No, it’s not.”
He chuckled. “I mean…she likes to cook, she likes to sew and she likes kids….” He shook his head. “She’s the kind of woman a man settles down with, definitely not the type usually found leaving your house on a Sunday morning.”
“There haven’t been any women leaving my house on a Sunday morning since Megan has been with me,” he reminded him.
“I know, and I respect you for that.”
Adam acknowledged the compliment with a nod. “So what time is this dinner party on Saturday?” he asked.
“Does that mean you’ll come?”
He was tempted to say, “Only if Faith is there,” but held his tongue. He shrugged and said, “Sure, why not.”
“Good. I’ll see you at 8.” Greg turned to leave but paused in the doorway. “Can I give you a word of brotherly advice?”
“Sounds as if you’re going to, whether I want it or not.”
“I am, but knowing you, you won’t take it anyway. You never have.”
“You’re my younger brother. I’m not supposed to listen to you,” Adam said lightly.
“I know, but this time you should.”
Adam rolled his eyes with mock impatience. “All right. What is it you want to tell me?”
“Be careful with her, Adam.”
He knew it would do no good to pretend he didn’t know to whom he referred. “She’s Megan’s nanny.”
“Yeah, I know, and I also know you and beautiful women. If she is a nun, she could be very inexperienced when it comes to men. She might not know that a guy says things he doesn’t always mean.”
“Will you stop with the nun talk?” he demanded, his voice rising with impatience. “Contrary to what you might think, I don’t promise women things I can’t give them, which is probably one of the reasons I’m still single.”
Greg held up his hands in mock surrender. “I’m sorry. Forget I said anything.”
“No, it’s all right.” He didn’t mind the advice. He just didn’t want to be reminded that Faith could be someone who’d chosen a life that didn’t include men. “I know Lori is very protective of Faith, but you have to know that I’m not going to do anything stupid. I don’t want Megan to get hurt because of something I do.”
“No, of course you don’t,” Greg said. “Forget I said anything.”
“Sure,” he replied, but it was easier said than done.
For the rest of the week Adam tried not to think about the possibility that Faith could be a nun, but it bothered him enough that he spent an entire afternoon calling convents in the five-state area. None were missing any of their members. He knew that just because she didn’t belong to any of the local orders of sisters it didn’t mean she couldn’t be a nun in another state or even another country.
On Saturday night when he arrived at Greg and Lori’s and found her in the living room wearing a simple black dress, he tried not to imagine her in a nun’s habit, but he couldn’t stop the image from invading his imagination. It didn’t help that at one point Greg whispered in an aside meant only for his ears, “Sister Faith looks lovely this evening, doesn’t she?”
Adam could have given him a swift kick in the shins. To his relief, Lori put her husband to work serving beverages. That left Adam to entertain Lori’s college friends who wasted no time in letting him know they were single. He, however, only had eyes for one woman and she was the one who made the least effort to capture his attention.
Throughout the evening he found himself assessing her behavior. When she didn’t bow her head and pray silently before dinner, he saw it as a good sign. When she placed her hand over her glass so Greg wouldn’t give her any wine, he saw it as a bad sign.
“You’re not going to have a glass of wine with dinner?” Adam asked.
“It doesn’t seem like I should.”
“Why not?” he probed.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. My first reaction was to say no…as if that was the natural thing to do.”
Because she’s a nun and she’s not supposed to drink, a little voice in Adam’s head said. “Not even a taste?” He tempted her in defiance to the voice.
Greg stood next to her, bottle poised to pour. To Adam’s surprise, she pulled her hand back from the glass and said, “I might as well try it, right?”
“Might as well,” Greg said, exchanging glances with Adam who was relieved when his brother moved on to serve wine to the next guest.
When Faith had taken her first sip, Adam asked, “Well, what do you think?”
“I like it.”
He smiled, ignoring the little voice that told him he was corrupting a nun. By the time she’d finished her glass, he knew by the slight slurring in her voice that she wasn’t accustomed to having wine with her meal.
The rest of the evening passed much too quickly for Adam and, despite his preoccupation with Faith’s occupation, he enjoyed himself. When Lori asked Adam if he would give Faith a ride home, he didn’t hesitate to say yes.
He was tempted to take her by the local Catholic church on the way to the Carsons and see if she genuflected in front of the statue of the Virgin Mary. She didn’t say a word as he drove her home and he realized it was because she’d fallen asleep.
When he pulled up in front of the Carsons’ he turned off the engine and leaned over her. “Faith.” He gently repeated her name until her eyes fluttered
open.
She wrinkled her nose. “Ooooh. I don’t think I should have had that wine. It made me sleepy.”
“Did you have a good time?” he asked, his face only inches from hers.
“Yes. Thank you for bringing me home. It was very kind of you,” she said with a shy smile.
“I had an ulterior motive,” he confessed.
“What?” she asked innocently.
“This,” he said, then covered her mouth with his. Her lips parted beneath his as the light, friendly kiss became a hard, probing caress that surprised both of them with its intensity. When it ended she was trembling.
“I’d better go in,” she whispered, her breath warm against his skin.
Reluctantly he released her and climbed out of the car to walk her to the front door. He was tempted to kiss her one more time but the porch light went on. Unaware of what he’d interrupted, Dr. Carson opened the front door and smiled.
“I thought I heard a car out there. Hope you kids had a nice time this evening,” he said.
“It was fun,” Adam answered. Seeing the doctor holding the door for Faith, he knew there was no point in hanging around on the front step so Adam looked at her and said, “I’ll see you on Monday.”
She nodded and slipped inside. All the way home he kept thinking one thought.
Please, don’t let her be a nun.
“I AM SO GLAD you talked me into turning these old clothes into a quilt,” Lori said to Faith one afternoon as she cut fabric patches with scissors.
“How’s this?” Faith knelt beside pieces of cloth arranged in a diamond pattern on the floor.
“I like it!” Lori said enthusiastically. “It’s a good thing I wear a lot of red and purple, isn’t it?”
“Yes. Along with Greg’s blues and greens they’ll make for a colorful pattern.” She sat back on her heels to admire the design.
“This is going to be a wonderful gift for Matthew, and it will have so much more meaning for him because he’ll know every piece on it came from clothes his mom and dad wore,” Lori noted.
“Ja, and at the rate we’re going he’ll be about twenty before it’s finished,” Faith said with a teasing grin.
“I know I’m slow, but it’s the first time I’ve ever tried to make a quilt. Obviously it’s not yours,” she said, nodding toward the colorful squares Faith had arranged on the floor.
“Must not be. I feel very comfortable with a needle and thread and I like creating the patterns,” she admitted. “You do know that this project would go a lot faster if we had more hands. Are you sure you don’t have some friends who’d like to come spend a few hours each week sharing in our fun?”
“I don’t think any of my friends even know how to use a needle and thread,” Lori quipped. “They’re much more comfortable with a spreadsheet and a PDA.”
When Faith shot her a puzzled look, Lori added, “You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?”
Faith shook her head.
“I doubt you’ve worked in the corporate world, Faith. A spreadsheet is…” She began then stopped short and flapped her hand. “You don’t need to know that stuff. It’s really not important. These past few weeks have shown me that. What matters is that little guy over there.” She glanced lovingly at the bassinet where her son lay sleeping only a few feet away.
“You like being a mother,” Faith observed.
“I do and I can’t imagine having to go back to work and leaving him every day. My maternity leave is going by so quickly. Before you know it, June will be here and I’ll be back at work.”
“I thought you said you could do your work from here?”
“I can, but I’m still going to have to go into the office occasionally, which is why I’m going to need someone to take care of Matthew for me. I’d like that someone to be you, Faith. I know this job was set up to be temporary, but I’m hoping you’ll consider changing that.”
“You want me to stay on full-time through the summer?”
She nodded. “I know it’s going to mean having two children for the entire day once Megan’s on summer break, but I wouldn’t expect you to work for the same wages you’ve been getting. I’d increase your hourly rate because of the added responsibility.”
Money wasn’t a factor as to whether or not she accepted Lori’s offer. She loved working for Lori and Adam, but she wasn’t sure it would be fair to make the kind of commitment they needed for the summer when she didn’t know what the future would bring.
“I’m sorry, Faith. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot,” Lori said.
“You didn’t put me on the spot,” Faith told her. “The day the Carsons found me I started over with a new life. With every day that goes by I become a little bit more confident in who I’m becoming and less fearful about who I used to be.” She paused, then asked, “Does that make sense?”
Lori’s voice softened. “Yes, it does. You shouldn’t have to put your life on hold, Faith. I know the most difficult part of this for you has been not knowing if you have a family somewhere.” Faith nodded and she continued. “Maybe I can help you find the answer to that question.”
“How?”
“I’m not really sure, but there must be a way of solving this puzzle…because it really is a puzzle. We know some things about you already, like the fact that occasionally you speak German.”
“I do?”
“Mmm-hmm. You slip in words and phrases every now and then, and you don’t even realize you’re doing it, do you?”
She shook her head.
Lori got up and went over to the desk where she removed a manila folder from a hanging file. “I want to show you something.” She pulled out a newspaper clipping and handed it to Faith. “This is a picture of a yacht we built for one of our German clients. He sent us this from his local paper.”
Faith looked at the newsprint and saw a picture of a man on the deck of a large boat.
“Can you read what it says?” Lori asked.
Faith gasped. “I can. Can you?”
“No.”
“But you speak another language besides English, right?”
Lori shook her head. “No, just English.”
Faith handed her back the newspaper clipping. “Dr. Carson said I have a slight accent. You think English could be my second language?”
“It’s possible, but I personally don’t think it’s true. You could have studied German in school or lived with someone who spoke German.”
“But you’ve said to me on more than one occasion that you didn’t think I was from this area.”
“That doesn’t mean I think you’re not an American. Faith, this is just one clue that might help us determine who you are. The more you can tell me about yourself, the easier it will be to try to put the clues all together and come up with a possible answer to the question of who you are. Have you had more flashbacks recently?”
She shook her head. “Just the ones I already told you about, but I’ve been having a recurring dream. I’m lost in a maze of corn stalks, and just when I think I find a way out, I hear voices warning me that I’m going to get in trouble. They’re boys’ voices.”
“Do they call you by your name?”
“No, but I hear things like ‘You’d better come out now or you’re going to be sorry’ and ‘He’s really mad.’”
“Who’s really mad?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Are the voices speaking German or English?”
“I’m not sure. I think I’m a little girl in the dream, which doesn’t make much sense, either.”
“Dreams seldom do… At least mine don’t. And I can tell you from personal experience I’ve had some pretty bizarre ones. I do find it interesting that you’re dreaming about a cornfield though.”
“You think it might mean I’ve lived on a farm?”
“That isn’t the only reason. When you were reading that book about farming to Megan, some of your comments made it sound as if you had experience arou
nd farm animals. And the way you cook reminds me of my mom’s friend, Martha Banning. Canned goods to her were the fruits and vegetables she’d preserved herself, not the stuff she bought at the grocery store. She’s the only other person I’ve seen who bakes with lard, too.”
Faith was silent for a moment before saying, “I don’t know why I do things the way I do.” She patted her head with her hands. “If I could only get this to work properly.”
“You will,” Lori stated confidently. “I told you. I’ll help you. We’ll keep putting the clues together until we find out where you came from.”
“It might not be St. Paul or even Minnesota,” she warned her.
“I know. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll leave. You might not want to return to the life you had before the accident.”
It was a possibility Faith herself had been considering lately. It was much easier on her emotionally to regard her past as something that she had willingly left behind because it had caused her pain, rather than wonder if she had been taken away against her will. Because she knew in her heart that she would never leave her children behind, no matter how bad the situation had been.
“You’re right. I can’t keep postponing decisions with the hope that tomorrow I’ll wake up and have my memory restored,” Faith told her.
“Does that mean you’ll take care of Matthew for me when I go back to work?”
“Yes.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
TO FAITH’S DELIGHT, April showers brought May flowers. The spring rains also washed away all traces of winter, leaving in their wake a lush blanket of green lawns and colorful flower gardens. Faith welcomed the warmer weather, spending as much time as possible outdoors, taking the children on regular walks to the park where she would help Megan fly her kite.
Ever since she’d started working for the Novaks she had been treated more like a member of the family than as an employee, which was a comfort to her as the days stretched into weeks and there appeared to be no end in sight for her amnesia. Even though the list of clues to her identity grew longer, the answers to the questions of who she was and where she’d come from eluded them. The bits and pieces of memory that had flashed like snapshots in Faith’s mind giving her glimpses of her past life had stopped abruptly, the last one occurring over a month ago when she’d been at Lori’s helping her fold baby clothes.