Kiss Me Back

by Sidney Halston

  “I’m sorry, Lola. That guy is an asshole. It had nothing to do with you. You haven’t had many people around you that you could count on. I get it. I haven’t either. But you can’t just assume everyone’s going to let you down.”

  I never thought about it that way. “Maybe you’re right.”

  “Of course I am. I’m older and wiser.”

  “Much much older. Like an old man, older,” I tease. “Seriously though, I’m sorry.”

  “It’s cool. I’d promise not to do it again but it’d be a lie. I’ll do it again and again.”

  And I think that’s part of the problem. I’m going to start getting used to being treated as if I’m someone important and what happens when it all ends?

  “Stop thinking,” he says as we reach his house and he parks the car. He always seems to know when I’m stuck in my head. And I am stuck. But now I think I want to seize the moment. Right here, right now. I may never have an opportunity like this again—being with this supremely hot and sexy man who wants to move chairs and open doors for me and doesn’t care that I can’t hear a damn thing. I have two months before I have to leave and this opportunity is being tossed on my lap. Why am I squandering it?

  “Whatever it is you’re thinking right now, just say it,” he says, again with that serious face.

  Fuck it.

  Boldly, I reach over and kiss his lips. It’s supposed to be an impulsive quick peck but he pulls me to him, cupping the back of my neck with his palm and pressing me against him. The kiss escalates and I want more. I don’t want to play games. He needs to know my intentions.

  We’re breathless and leaning against each other, forehead to forehead, until he finally pulls his head back and runs his fingers through his hair.

  “I didn’t think that’s what you were thinking.”

  I chuckle. “It wasn’t.”

  “Well, I’m glad you went for the kiss instead then.”

  “Me too.” I lean over and kiss his lips one last time before I get out of the car and look back at him over my shoulder. “But I’m not done yet.”

  Fox

  I do a double take. Maybe I misheard her. “What did you say?”

  “You’re right. I haven’t really been living since I lost my hearing, and I push people away. The few times I’ve tried to date, they’ve been disasters. Men don’t want to date a deaf chick. I dated a few hearing-impaired men when I first lost my hearing but I was still not proficient in signing and I felt completely excluded from their lives because I couldn’t speak their language. It was horrible. I didn’t fit in the hearing community and I didn’t fit in the deaf community. And realizing men feel sad for me—that’s been a disaster all on its own too.”

  She lets out a long agonized breath. “And getting intimate…” She makes a noise in her throat. “Nearly impossible. I can’t hear, which means I can’t really direct.”

  Direct? What the fuck? It’s sex, not a fucking movie.

  “I’m young and single and I have needs,” she continues in a rush and makes a face at the word “needs.”

  “I know, how forward of me. But I do. I have needs just like everyone else. And when I leave I probably won’t be able to date or have sex for God only knows how long. And speaking of leaving, I also don’t want a relationship now. I’m focused and dedicated to my plan.”

  I have my keys in my hands, but I don’t move, I want to hear this weird speech that I’m sure is difficult for her to say. In the doorway of my complex, as the sun sets behind her, she looks younger and more innocent than she normally does, but no less beautiful. She’s biting the corner of her lip every so often—her tell. But, nevertheless, I let her finish. I’m not going to let her off the hook. This is the small effort I wanted her to make. This is her giving me something, and I’m so ready to take it all. I just need her to finish her thoughts.

  “I don’t want a relationship because I’m leaving soon. And you have your own things going on. Important things that you’re super excited about. It’s not like you’re planning to move across the planet to an impoverished country to help kids.” She snorts as if it’s the most preposterous thing that would or could ever happen. And it is—I wouldn’t. I’ve already lived in poverty and in my version of hell. I’m not going to go seek it out voluntarily. I like nice things. Down pillows, designer clothes, luxury cars. She’s right. But still, somewhere in my selfish heart the jab stings.

  “And well, we couldn’t be more wrong for each other. Except that I know you can kiss and I want to be kissed and I want to have sex and I think you could do that with me. We could do that. I think it could be good. I mean, no strings attached sex. Men like that. I’m offering it. Oh God, I can’t believe I just babbled all that.” She drops her head into her hands. I think she’s done.

  My head is spinning. That was a lot of information.

  “That was…interesting. A bit all over the place, but interesting.”

  “I’m sorry.” She walks in front of me to the inside of the complex and up the stairs. I follow right behind her, trying to process what she just offered. She’s right. Men do not say no to those kinds of propositions, especially with women they find attractive. And really, I should feel flattered that she expects me to be so good in bed that lacking one of the five senses wouldn’t even come into play.

  There is just one problem with the proposition.

  I don’t think I want something temporary, which is what I think she’s offering. I mean, maybe it doesn’t work out in the long run, but starting it off as a “sex only” deal isn’t going to work. It’ll get messy, fast. She’s not that kind of girl and regardless, I don’t want it. Someone is bound to develop feelings and get hurt. And the likelihood is that it’s going to be her, and I’m going to end up being the asshole who hurt her. I don’t want to be the asshole.

  But, how can I say no? If I say no it would prove my father right. I am stupid, after all.

  And I’ll probably lose her in the process. No sex and no Lola. The answer has to be a resounding yes.

  I open the door to my apartment and turn toward her. She is still looking everywhere but at me, so I take her bag and toss it aside then turn her to look at me. “I don’t need directing,” I say, my decision made.

  “I know,” she whispers.

  “And you’re right. I can’t commit to a relationship with you. You’re leaving.”

  I want her to know it’s because she’s leaving, not because I wouldn’t want something with her. If I could, I’d date her, get to know her. See where things go.

  “In two months,” she says without hesitation.

  “I hate to start this off with an expiration date.”

  “It has to be like this. It’s this way or nothing.”

  “It’ll never work out. Someone will get hurt. You’ll get hurt.”

  Her blue eyes are enormous and as I move closer to her, I see the way they gloss over with lust. “Then don’t hurt me,” she whispers. “The only way you can possibly hurt me is by messing with my future.”

  “I won’t mess with your trip.”

  “Then, we’re on the same page,” she says breathlessly.

  “I can make it really good for you. Give you something to think about while you’re away.”

  “I really hope your arrogance is on par with your talent.”

  I laugh at her wit. “I want to fuck you, Lola. Have wanted to since I first saw you.”

  She playfully smacks my shoulder. “You are so romantic.”

  Then she—not me—she stalks closer to me. All five foot three inches of her. I don’t think I’ve ever had a woman pursue me like this. It’s sexy as hell. On the tips of her toes, she wraps her hands around my neck and pulls me down. Her lips crash into mine.

  And so it begins…

  I
can’t get enough of her. She’s intoxicating and eager and all Lola. I know I’m being sappy, but there’s no other way I can define the chemistry between us. I want to ravage her except that she’s all limbs and claws, and even though it goes against all my instincts I let her take the lead. I think she needs it. And also, because she can’t hear me even if I were to tell her to stop or to slow down and I don’t want to hurt her feelings. I want to see what she wants and needs and I honestly have no qualms about letting her use my dick to figure it out.

  I’ll give her this one time. Let her get it out of her system. Then it’s my turn to play.

  Lola

  Oh God. He’s just so…so much. I’ve only slept with Gus and that was so long ago, I barely remember. Hell, I wasn’t even legally an adult when it happened. And the few dates I’ve been on since then, there were a few kisses but they…their arms didn’t feel like Fox’s arms. Fox’s arms are thick and even if I put both hands together I can’t wrap my hands around one. It’s just muscle upon muscle. My hand trails down to his chest, but I don’t disentangle my lips from his as I start to unbutton his shirt. I feel him leading me to his couch.

  Once I’ve unbuttoned his shirt, I run my hands up his pecs and wow…more hardness and fuzz. The other guys didn’t have fuzz because well, they were boys and Fox isn’t a boy. Fox is a man and one helluva a man at that. He takes my face in his big palms and tries to guide my frantic kisses but I’m all over the place. I won’t lie to myself, I’m a mess of hormones right now. And I’m not thinking right. He gave me the green light and I’m taking it before he changes his mind and doesn’t want to fuck the deaf girl. Maybe I’ll feel humiliated later but I’m too worked up to care much about anything but getting off right now. And yes, I know I’m thinking like a horny teenage boy right now. But…fuck it.

  I don’t want to stop, in fact I want more and I want it now. With his palms on my face, I move my hands down his body to his jeans. I begin to unbutton and then unzip them, but he grabs my hand to stop me. I’m about to pout but his intentions are clear when his hand goes to the bottom of my shirt and lifts it over my head. I need to undress. Duh! Two naked people are needed for this. Not just one. So while he’s doing that, I kick my sandals aside and start to unzip my jeans. Then I shimmy them down my legs and next thing you know, he’s lying on his big fluffy sofa, and I’m standing there in just a white bra and white undies, which I did not choose for a sexy moment—they were the only clean ones I had.

  Damn it.

  I wish I had planned this a little better.

  He’s staring at me, heat in his eyes, and I’ve never felt more desired in my life, which makes the panties and bra thought immediately fly out of my mind. With all that I have going on in my life, my lack of hearing and my lack of funds, I refuse to add body issues to them. So, I stand there as confident as a woman who is standing in front of a god of a man can be.

  The fact that I can see his cock bulging against his half-open jeans does something to boost my ego. He reaches in his pocket, takes out his wallet, removes a condom, and tosses it at me. “All yours.” That’s all he’s said since I attacked him. This is what I wanted, right? I’m not going to back down now. I pull at his jeans, taking his briefs with them; he lifts his hips to help me and then…Holy shit!

  He is naked.

  And hard.

  And big.

  And he’s watching me watch him.

  I’m not sure where to start because I’m so damn hungry I want it all. Appetizer, main course, and dessert. But right now I’m so utterly desperately horny that I really just need a release.

  I go straight for his mouth again and as I kiss him, his soft beard tickling my face, I feel his hand snake around my waist, down the elastic of my undies, down my ass, and down even further until he’s there.

  Oh!

  I start wiggling and writhing as he grips my throat like he did that first day he kissed me, except I’m standing and he’s lying(ish) down. His fingers are now inside of me pumping hard, my wetness dampening my panties, and I’m gripping the foil condom packet in my hand. His fingers are thick and everything just feels so tight I can’t even imagine how it’s going to feel when his cock is inside me. The sensation starts to build. “More,” I moan, and before I know it my white cotton panties are in shreds on the floor.

  Quickly I rip open the package as he takes his impressive cock firmly in his hand and I roll the condom onto him. He lifts me to straddle him and I move up to position him right at my entrance and slowly—ever so slowly—slide down. We’re in perfect sync, and I know—I feel—this is going to be nothing like any other experience I’ve had before.

  I don’t know if he says anything but I do know that I’m speechless. I groan and moan at the sensation and I can feel by the vibration on my palm on his chest, that he is making some sort of sound—almost like a growl.

  The feel of him in me goes from a bit uncomfortable to so freaking sensational as my fingers bite into his chest. I move up and down, up and down, finding my rhythm. Nothing has ever felt so good in my life. I close my eyes and I swear I can feel him everywhere, as I ride him for what feels like forever. I’ve never felt so free and uninhibited before in my life.

  Fox

  I wonder if she even knows I’m here.

  I’ve never seen a woman lose herself so completely during sex. I wonder if it’s because it’s me she’s fucking or if it’s just the way she fucks. I watch her tits, her nicely sized, pert tits, bounce up and down as she rides my cock like she’s in a fucking rodeo. Her head falls back and her pussy squeezes me. I know she’s about to come, and I’ve done absolutely nothing to get her there. Not one damn thing. Well, except provide the dick. I’m harder than I’ve ever been in my entire life and I want to make this good for her, but she’s not giving me a chance. And honestly, I’m in awe of the way she’s taking what she needs. So, I let her.

  I bite the inside of my cheek, trying not to come as I watch her lose herself to an intense orgasm. I hope I’m not bruising her hip with the tight grip I have on her. When her muscles constrict so tightly around my cock, it takes everything I have not to blow with her. But I refuse to let our first time come and go this way. She’s been let down before and if I let her down, she’s going to assume this is what sex is like. And yes, this is sex, but this isn’t good sex. This is just getting off. And why just get off when you can have mind-blowing orgasms? From what she’s said, I think she’s never experienced that before. And a woman like Lola, who just rode my cock like a fucking prize-winning bull rider, deserves a mind-blowing orgasm.

  Once her breathing slows and she finally opens her eyes and releases her death grip on my chest, where I’m sure she’s pulled out some hair, she smiles shyly.

  I chuckle. “Enjoy yourself, Tiger?”

  “Yes, actually.”

  “I feel a little used, if I’m being honest.”

  She shrugs and drops down on top of me. I slap her ass and then flip us over. “Oh no. No snuggling. This isn’t over.”

  Her eyes are closed so I grab her chin firmly and she opens them lazily. “Now that you got that first one out of the way, let’s do this right.”

  “That wasn’t right? It felt right.”

  “I’m sure we can do better.” Since we’re still connected I position one of her legs over the back of the couch and the other one over my shoulder and start to move in and out of her slowly. Painfully slow. Maybe not painful for her, but painful for me because I’m ready to burst from her erotic use of my cock two minutes ago.

  I have her complete attention right now as I move over her. Fuck she’s beautiful. I can’t get over how natural she is in her beauty. Her best features are her huge expressive sapphire-colored eyes. Whomever she needed to direct was an imbecile. I don’t need a fucking map; all you need is a bit of time and to pay attention—she lets me know exactly
what she likes by the little O that forms on her lips or the way her eyes widen or how they shut tight in pleasure when I move my thumb down her flat stomach and lower still until I circle her clit over and over.

  I bend down and suck one of her nipples into my mouth and absolutely no words leave her lips as her back arches, her pussy clenches and her little hands fist the sofa, making me wild. Tightly squeezing my cock, she comes again, her legs wrapping around me and I follow right behind her in a mind-numbing orgasm that leaves me breathless and completely and utterly sated. So much so, I wonder what the hell I’ve been doing for the past thirty-three years of my life because I’ve never had an orgasm like this one before.

  Jesus Christ. She may be inexperienced but she makes up for it in passion and enthusiasm and sensations that I didn’t even know were part of sex. She uses her hands and fingers to emote her needs, scratching and thumping and pushing and pulling. Even now, the way she gently caresses my back, soothing me in a way I didn’t even know I needed or wanted, I can’t wait to see what little Lola will surprise me with over the next two months.

  Somehow we end up drifting asleep on my sofa. All my past sexual experiences have ended up two ways: with either the woman or me leaving right after, or alternatively, the woman asking a million questions as to what happens next, trying to force another date. That isn’t to say I haven’t had relationships. I’ve had three serious relationships in the past but other than those women, the rest have been more of the one-night-stand variety.

  This is different.

  Lola still hasn’t said a word but suddenly she pushes off my chest and jumps up from the sofa. She grabs her phone and shoves it right in my face so I can see the time. We have an hour to get back to the club for work. “Shit!” I exclaim, picking up our clothes, which are strewn throughout my home.