“Maddie, you can't – I don't understand why you feel you have to do this. There is nothing you're doing that is unfair to me, outside of wanting to let me go.”
“I'm at peace with my decision. It's for the best, you will realize that soon enough.”
And that was it. I walked out, slowly, painfully. Ayrton apparently had heard the whole thing. He put his hand on my shoulder as consolation. Didn't help a damn bit. We left the hospital with work to do and all I wanted to do was roll myself into a ball in a dark room. I felt crushed in so many ways after the events that had transpired.
Ayrton knew I wasn't feeling it. He took me to the Yellowstone Pad and dropped me off. I knew what he was going to go do, and while I obviously was concerned whether or not he'd be okay, I knew he'd come back in one piece. Ayrton wouldn't lose to some cut-rate bangers.
I was aimlessly sitting on the couch staring at the wall. I had the living room light on above my head. I waited for hours until Ayrton arrived. When he arrived, he was dressed in full stealth mode, all blacks. I'd bet good money he drove the murdered out Excursion he had hiding away somewhere there in the Gallatin Valley after he was finished with the job.
“It's done,” he said as threw his keys on the coffee table in front of me.
“And she's still not coming.” All Ayrton could do was shake his head. I think he might have been as disappointed in her as I was.
“Come on man, let's get out of here. The guys that did this, they’re dead now. Jimmy's got the cleanup under control.”
We got in Ayrton's truck, the Excursion of course. He started driving. He had some tunes on, I couldn't even hear them. I tried, I wanted to be so perfect for Maddie. I wanted to give her everything. Hell, I could give her everything. Except safety apparently.
“Nobody could have predicted that would happen. You can't blame yourself,” Ayrton said, trying to cheer me up.
“Makes me wonder if we should rethink the company policy on guns.” Somehow, I was dead serious. This really made me wonder.
“Dude, don't overreact. So what if we had a gun in the truck? You really think either one of us could have pulled it faster than you reacted to get us out of there? No way, guns wouldn't have helped us in that situation. Our gun policy is flawless man. Toting guns around on the average day does nothing but get people into shit.”
“I once believed that love could conquer all. But in the face of such unimaginable hate, it seems love cannot breathe. Love has fallen. Hearts have broken. And hate has consumed us all. We will die now, we stand no chance,” I said. Ayrton fell silent for a moment.
“Damn dude. That's deep. And I couldn't disagree more. Maddie's coming back. She will come back to you. Just give it all some time to chill.”
“I just – I wish I knew something we could have done to prevent this from happening. It feels like maybe her mother was right – I'm not good enough for Maddie.”
“You are an international superstar with enough money to buy Africa. Come on, admit it. The only reason you haven't bought Africa is because you'd have problems building hockey rinks there,” Ayrton smiled at me with that goofy, jackass smile he had.
“Well that's one reason,” I told him with a snicker. I hadn't forgotten about Maddie for that one moment, but at least I had something to smile about.
“Seriously dude, you could give that girl anything she could ever want. Nobody could have predicted this. Maddie will come around. She has to, man. I've never seen you like this. I've never seen you this far down about a girl.” He lied. Mary-Margaret.
“I feel like I just had my spine ripped out.”
“Does it hurt worse than that time I broke your shoulder on the football field?”
“Yes, and you didn't break my shoulder.”
“Just a little bit?”
“No.”
“But...”
“No.”
The next months were pretty empty. I didn't let myself sink back into being the kind of person I was after Mary-Margaret left. It was a tough reality to come to grips with, the fact that yet again Ayrton was correct and my heartbreaks had only just started. I dove deep into the season of racing. I was driven to become only the third driver to win seven stock car championships. The season started out very well, and still something was missing.
I found myself spending a lot more time at the Montana Mansion during off days. It made me feel closer to Maddie. I hadn't heard from her since she said goodbye in the hospital. I tried to contact her a couple times, but I heard no response. After a while, I just gave up and left her alone. It was one of the harder things I'd done in my life. I wanted so badly to hear her voice. February and March came and went as if they didn't exist.
It was much warmer than normal for early April. I was chilling out on the back lawn of the Montana Mansion with my dog, Lucee. I haven't mentioned little Lucee yet. I actually got her in October of 2004. She was almost a year old at this point. She was a purebred working breed Border Collie and thus was a crazy ball of energy. I was reading over a script I had written recently and simultaneously throwing the ball for Lucee to chase and retrieve. She could literally do this for hours.
Our hours of enjoyment were interrupted. Such a theme in my life. Chilling out, trying to enjoy life and boom. Life finds me. Maybe I shouldn't be too upset about that. Nothing to chase when life finds you, right?
It was Maddie. Even though she left me and the past months had been very tough, I wasn't upset to see her. I was happy to see her, actually. Her smile was as glowing as ever, although it was slightly subdued as she approached me. Lucee went nuts when she saw Maddie. Lucee always loved her. Well, she surely loved Maddie more than she ever loved Diana. I wondered if her visit had anything to do with Mikaela and Ayrton. The two of them had broken up a week before.
“Lucee missed you,” I told her with a half smile.
“And how about Lucee's father? How's he been doing?” she responded.
“He hasn't been all that great, honestly. He lost his other half because he failed to protect her.”
“Now I don't agree with that,” Maddie said.
“Oh really? Why did he lose her then?” I asked, interested in her response.
“Because she was young and stupid and afraid. She's still young and stupid and afraid, but she started to think more and more, and every day that went by got harder to take. And then she realized why the days were getting harder. It's because she's missing her other half.”
I smirked, planned my next move accordingly. “See, I'm in a similar boat to the young and stupid and afraid girl you're talking about. For me, there's this girl. And under any normal circumstances, I'd be telling everyone how much I love her and care about her. I'd scream it from the top of those mountains over there if she asked me to. Unfortunately, that girl and I, we went through some really tough things and I think it might have scared her off. Keeping these feelings inside of me, I gotta tell ya, it's killing me. Like, death. Seriously. 'Cause all I want to do is tell everybody how happy I am,” I told her. She was blushing at that point.
“Oh really? And how happy are you?”
“Well, if I had this girl in my arms right now, let's just say I'd be the kind of happy that people write embarrassingly long novels about.”
Maddie approached me and curled up in my lap. I immediately embraced her. “How are you feeling now?” she asked.
“So happy, I may just write a novel about it.”
Maddie stayed curled in my lap for the better part of an hour. Lucee kept picking the ball up and dropping it in front of us, but we were too busy with each other to care to throw it.
The next day, we got a spat of typical Montana weather. From beautiful weather one day to snow the next. We got about five inches over night, which was not at all uncommon, but it always cleared up pretty quickly that time of year. I searched around the house for Maddie knowing she had to be around somewhere. I went out on the back porch and there she was waiting for me. She flashed me that gorgeous smile
she had from quite the odd location...
She was mounted on the back of her horse. But not mounted as in riding the horse, no. She was lying on her stomach with her arms crossed over the front shoulders of the horse and her legs bent at the knees and crossed in the air. She had her cowgirl boots on with a white jacket and her riding jeans. And I tell ya, that smile she gave me... It almost made me not terrified of the horse I had staring at me.
Almost.
“Hey there. You told me only the right girl could get you on a horse,” Maddie said.
“Yeah, have you seen this 'right girl' anywhere?” I asked her.
“Of course. What do ya think? Wanna ride one of my horses?” she asked.
I never actually answered her. Next thing I knew, I was on the horse with her and she was trotting us out to her stable. I had my arms around her, one hand under her shirt and touching her hip. It's one of those simple things I loved that Maddie wanted me to do. She told me back in January that she loved skin contact, so anytime I put my arm around her, I would sneak a couple fingers under her shirt. Nothing sexual or crazy, just the slightest touch so she knew I was there. It was the oddest request I'd ever had, but it was the one I liked the most. I laid my head on her shoulders and closed my eyes. As stressed as I was... She made me feel calm.
“You doing okay back there?” she asked.
“Absolutely,” I said with a sigh.
We got to the stable and Maddie put me on a horse. I tried my best to keep a brave face about it, but I knew she could tell I was pretty terrified. Still, I rode around with her for about an hour and we went back. That night, we laid in front of the fireplace in our bedroom, my head on her bare chest. Rarely had I ever laid my head on my girlfriend's chest. Maddie really did make me feel very loved and safe. That was the biggest plus she had over Mary-Margaret. I don't think Mary-Margaret or I ever did a good job making each other feel safe. I loved holding Maddie, but I loved it just as much when she held me.
I listened to her heartbeat. It was so smooth, despite being faster than normal. I think that was a sign of love, but I'll let the doctors confirm that thought. Mary-Margaret's heartbeat was always interesting to listen to because it was irregular. Maddie's was so soothing it put me fast to sleep.
That night, Ayrton requested my presence in his office. I was thinking he was going to chew me out for spending too much time with Maddie.
“Hey man. The investigators came up with a lead on the attack. A guy named Norman Chipley. They think he might have been one of the guys in the truck,” Ayrton told me.
“That’s impossible, you killed all of them,” I responded.
“I know. He might not have been in the truck. Maybe he’s the one who sent out the hit. He’s a local to Bozeman, doesn’t fit in with the pasty white folk around here just like the four in the truck.” The police later investigated Norman Chipley further and concluded that while there was evidence against him, it wasn’t enough for any type of conviction. This returned Ayrton and I to our original thought that whoever had it out for us was in that truck and was now dead.
A week later, we were in Columbus. Maddie was considering taking a summer internship at Ohio State. I had set up a couple of special events, just small stuff, mostly so I could be there for her if she needed me for anything. I also brought my Ferrari F50 to drive Maddie around in. I never knew why, but she always loved riding in that car. She once told me that my ability to handle the power of a supercar turned her on... I took her word on that and drove the car that she wanted me to. I wasn't able to convince Ayrton to tag along. He had seen enough of Ohio over the years to know that it would never be home nor would it be a place he cared to visit.
I had dropped off Maddie earlier in the day. It was about three in the afternoon when I was parked and waiting to pick her up. I was slowly and randomly pacing back and forth outside of my F50 when I was approached by the last young lady I ever thought I'd run into.
“Ryan!” I heard the pint-sized voice and turned around expecting it to be Maddie.
It was Jesika.
Jesika was the young lady that was my first real love interest. I was just 19 at the time, but I'd known her for years. She was beyond perfection, and our feelings were far stronger than you'd think would be possible from a couple of 19 year olds. We were perfect for each other. But her mother – She didn't approve. See, Jesika came from money. A lot of money. I came from very little. And that wasn't good enough for Jesika's mother. She didn't want me around.
Should I even acknowledge her? I wasn't sure. This girl meant the world to me as I was growing up, and she just gave up on me. I would have fought with my parents to the death for her. She gave up. She walked away. She let her parents drag my name through the mud.
I decided not to respond. I just gave her a passing glance, kept my arms folded, and shot an eye out for Maddie. That would have been a great time for Maddie to show up. In many ways I wanted to show Jesika how much better than her I did.
“You're still upset with me? It's been ten years. I thought maybe you would have lightened by now,” she continued.
“Sorry to disappoint,” I responded coldly.
“I've been watching you. Your dreams all came true, huh? I'm happy for you. You deserve it,” she said. I could tell she meant it. Jesika was always an actress, always a drama queen, but she was never able to bring herself to lie to me. She hadn't ever lied to me and she never would. I was her weakness.
“Is there something I can help you with?” I asked.
“My mother was just asking me the other day if you and I were going to get back together. I thought if I could track you down, maybe there was a chance that...”
“That what? We'd get back together because now I've got money in the bank? Is that what it was going to take to be good enough for you?” I said as my tone hardened.
“You were always enough for me. My mother, on the other hand...”
“Shouldn't be allowed to run your life, Jesika. I want someone who is willing to stand up to her parents, hell stand up to anyone for me, for a relationship, for love. You were never going to do that. You could have contacted me years ago. Only now are you contacting me? Really?” Oh yes. I let her have it. Willingly.
“I never realized you felt so strongly about this.”
“I never realized it would take a whole mound of cash to get you to love me back,” I said. Right then, Maddie came running up to me from a distance. She jumped into my arms. Instantly I was happy again. My angst had left at the sight of her stunning smile.
“I missed you, pretty girl,” I told her.
“I missed you too, my handsome man,” she replied.
“So this is your new girlfriend?” Jesika interjected.
“Maddie, meet Jesika,” I said, keeping my eyes posted on Maddie.
“You are the famous Jesika?” Maddie asked her. “It's a pleasure to finally meet you.”
“The pleasure is all mine,” Jesika responded. “It looks like you really have gotten everything you ever wanted. All the way down to the roots of the hair on a fake blonde bimbo.”
“She's a natural blonde, actually,” I fired back.
“I think my mother was right to begin with. You'll never be good enough for me. Goodbye Ryan.” And with that, Jesika departed. She never said another word to me after that. I found out that four years later, she died in a motorcycle accident. She was married to some tattooed up red neck who lost control of his bike with her on the back and ran them both into a barbed wire fence. Not a pleasant way to die, I'd imagine.
Maddie and I went back and spent the evening with my mom. While she ended up not getting the internship, together we made the summer magical. We went on several more horseback rides. We found exotic and interesting places to make sweet love. Everything between us remained interesting. She smiled at me every morning, I held her every night. I went from a perfect girl to a unique girl to a perfectly and uniquely stunning girl. Maddie brought every loose end in my life together. She wa
s far away from erasing the legend of Mary-Margaret, but she certainly was filling her own bountiful chapter in my life.
August came. I was spending some time at the SoCal Beach House decompressing in the off week before the team headed to Indy for the 400. I was on the rear deck taking a much needed break when I heard footsteps. Probably Chase or Ayrton, I was sure of it.
“Hi, Ryan,” I heard from a familiar but not recently heard voice.
I stood up and faced... Diana. “What are you doing here?”
“You know, we met a year ago today.”
“And we broke up eight months ago. You made the terms of our breakup very clear without any input from me. You never wanted to see or hear from me again. Which brings me back to my question – What the hell are you doing here?”
“I was hoping we could settle in for the evening with a nice movie and a bottle of wine, like old times,” Diana said with a smug grin. That girl couldn't understand what humility was if it beat her in the face with a fish.
“Diana, I have a girlfriend.”
“Maddie? I heard about her. Wow, you picked a winner.”
“You mean like I did with you?”
“At least I put you ahead of my own dreams.”
“As usual. Diana reality fails to match up against actual reality. Why is it that we can't talk once without arguing?” I asked her as I began to grow very frustrated.
“You told me once, it's just what we do. We argue. We fight. And you love every second of it.”
“Loved... Every second of it.”
“Ryan, you love me. You told me you always would.”
“Loved... You.” I told her. I could see her heart breaking. There was something so special about this girl and her place in my life, but I couldn't let this farce continue. I had a girl that I loved who was on her way home. I wasn't going to make her have to deal with Diana.
Too late.
“Ryan! Where are you, my handsome man?” Maddie was looking for me in the house. Diana heard her and immediately bolted inside.
The Legend: The Love of Ryan Sumpter Page 13