“Never,” Jake teased. They moved off, dancing in the crowd. Asher moved closer, took my hand and held it as he placed the other on my waist.
“How are you doing, Ally girl?” he asked softly.
I smiled up at him. “I’m having fun. How about you?”
He smiled as we turned in the sand. “Not bad.”
“How’s Zeke handling the change in our routine?” I asked, curious.
“He’s handling it in typical Zeke fashion,” he hedged. I sighed.
“He’s being a grumpy ass?” I guessed. He chuckled.
“Yeah, pretty much.” His eyes ran over my face then back to my eyes. “But I get it. I got used to you being around more.”
“I’m not disappearing. I’m just… getting back to normal,” I reminded him. “Normal is good.”
“I know and I’m glad you feel up to it,” he said. “I’m just going to miss you a bit more.”
I smiled up at him then enjoyed my dance with Asher. The song ended and a fast one with a hard beat came on. He took his hand from my waist and he held my hand a little longer before letting go.
“Shout if you need me,” he reminded me.
“Will do,” I promised. He headed back to his other friends while I went back to Riley, Jake, and Derrick.
Over the next three hours the beach got more crowded. Jake and Derrick had gone off for a ‘walk’ and Riley dragged me over to talk to her other friends. Looking around I realized the guys weren’t within sight. They must have relaxed. I smiled to myself as I tried to listen to the story Riley was telling.
Someone bumped into me. I jumped, my heart slamming into overdrive as I turned. The girl was drunk and staggering. Her friends helped her move off towards the cars. The crowd seemed to press in on me. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Everyone was jumping, dancing and having a good time. But all I saw were people I didn’t know around me. The crowd was getting to me. I needed a breather.
I excused myself and slipped away from Riley’s group into the crowd. I kept taking slow deep breaths until I could get out of the crush and closer to the shore. I walked away from the party towards the lake, people bumped into me making me jump and shaking my insides. I focused on breathing.
When the music wasn’t so overwhelming, I sat down in the sand and watched the waves lap onto the shore. The knots in my stomach eased. I focused on what was around me. The full moon shined down on the water, making the small waves shine. It was cool out but not too cold.
Clouds were moving in over the lake, it looked like a storm might be on the way in. Other than that, it was a nice night.
I started to regroup. I had come out with confidence in my ability to deal, but with the crowded party that confidence was fading. I was going to have to stay on the edges. That’s okay, as long as I don’t leave because of it. You can do this, Lexie. Clay is in jail. No one here is going to hurt you. The guys are within ear shot. You got this.
I had just calmed myself down when someone stepped next to me. Ryan, the drummer in Ethan’s band, was standing there with his hands in his pockets.
Ryan wasn’t a bad looking guy. He was just big and burly. His brown hair was still buzzed down to his scalp. He had a horseshoe shaped ring through the septum of his nose and a new gunmetal stud in his eyebrow. His gray eyes were warm as he grinned down at me.
“Hey, what’s going on?” he asked, crouching down in the sand.
“I just needed a breather from the party,” I admitted. He nodded before he sat down. His rich, musky cologne came over the breeze. My stomach rolled as I was instantly thrown back to that night in January. Clay’s face flashed in my mind. His grip on my neck. He had worn the same cologne the night he kidnapped me, the night he…. I shook my head and forced myself to stay in the present. I could do this. Just because it’s the same doesn’t mean Ryan will…. It’s Ryan and he isn’t going to hurt me. The guys are only a shout away.
My shoulders grew tense anyway. I hadn’t been alone with anyone except one of the guys or family for months. Breathe, Lexie. You’re okay. You’ve got this. Ryan’s gray eyes were on me, his face curious.
“You okay?” he asked as he settled in the sand next to me.
I nodded and forced a smile. “Yeah, it’s… just your cologne.” I changed the subject. “How’s the new singer working out?”
“She’s not as good as you,” he stated, “but she’s working.”
“She’ll get better,” I offered. “Ethan says you guys just need to find your niche with her.” He shrugged.
“Yeah, it just stinks.” He looked over from the waves. “How are you really doing?”
I resisted the urge to growl. I was getting tired of that question. “I’m doing alright.”
“Where are your guards tonight?”
I grinned. “They’re here. We’re trying something new.” Slowly, the tension started to ease in my shoulders. This was Ryan. The guy was a big sweetheart.
“Oh yeah? Going stir-crazy?” He chuckled. I smiled at him.
“Something like that,” I admitted. “I’m just ready to get back to normal.”
“That’s good to hear,” he muttered. “So, how big is Hades now?”
“Mid-thigh and still growing.”
He shook his head. “You should bring him by practice sometime. He could be our mascot.”
I shrugged. I really didn’t want to see Ethan and their new band member singing together. Something inside me told me I wouldn’t like it. “I’ll see what I can do.” I looked back out on the water as an awkward silence fell. Ryan was probably just being nice and trying to keep me company. The least I could do was keep the conversation going. “So, what are your plans for the weekend?”
He sighed. “I don’t have much planned,” he admitted. “I was hoping to maybe get a date.”
“That shouldn’t be too hard,” I said. “You’re in a band after all.” He chuckled.
“Yeah, I don’t know. This one doesn’t seem to be impressed by that,” he countered.
I glanced back at him before looking out at the water again. He had a thoughtful look on his face. “You’re a nice guy, Ryan. She’ll probably say yes,” I said absently. I should probably head back to the party before one of the guys started looking for me.
“You think so?”
I nodded. “Sure, why not?” I started to turn back to him. “We should head-” His lips met mine.
Surprised, I gasped. Rich musky cologne filled my lungs. I wasn’t on the shore anymore. I was in the woods being dragged back to the cabin. I shoved him away from me and scrambled out of reach. Horror filled me as Clay squeezed my neck then ran his hand over me. I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my shaking arms over my head. Oh, God… no, no, no.
“Lexie?” a voice asked. That cologne. Terror tore through me.
“Don’t touch me. Please, don’t touch me,” I bit out, trying not to scream. Clay grabbed me between the legs, hard. Tears fell and my stomach churned as he kept forcing me toward the cabin.
“Lexie?” The voice was uncertain. “I’m getting one of the guys, okay?” I knew Clay was in jail. I knew I wasn’t at the cabin. But logic was out of reach. The cabin was all I could see. All I could feel as he tackled me to the floor. Heart slamming in my chest, Clay pinned me to the floor then drove his knee into my groin. I felt it. Every blow, every hit. The fear, the pain, the nausea. All over again.
“Lexie.” A smoky, smooth voice got my attention. The musky cologne changed to spicy. That wasn’t Clay, that was Snoopy.
“You’re outside, at the lake,” Ethan said gently. I stopped rocking. I was still seeing the cabin. I reached out to him desperately, as if he was the light switch in a dark room that I was desperately looking for because something was breathing in the dark.
Ethan gathered me in his arms, holding me to his chest. I buried my face into his shirt, my hands clinging to the fabric, rubbing the cotton material between my fingers. The anvil in my chest was making it hard to breathe
.
“What’s going on?” Ryan asked, his voice worried. Ethan ignored him as he held me in his arms, rocking me side to side.
“You’re not in the cabin, Beautiful. You’re safe with me, we’re sitting in the sand on the north shore of the lake.” His voice helped ground me as Clay’s weight pressed me into the floorboards. I nodded, so he knew I heard. “Lexie, what month is it?”
I focused on his voice, his question. “April.”
“Good, what day?” he asked patiently.
I fought to turn away from the memories and think. “F-Friday.”
“That’s right,” he said. “What did you do after school?”
“I came over to your house, and your cousins were there,” I answered, his questions helping ground me.
“Then Zeke got totally suckered by a four-year-old. Remember?” he asked. I nodded again, still clinging and trying to breathe as Clay’s hands tightened around my neck.
“How did you get to the party?” Ethan’s voice brought my attention back to him.
I swallowed hard as I struggled to come back. “Miles drove.”
“That’s right. Now, where’s Hades?” he asked gently.
“At home,” I mumbled as tears poured down my face. Footsteps ran towards us.
“Who am I?” he asked.
“Snoopy. Ethan,” I whispered, my heartbeat filling my ears.
“That’s right. I’ve got you, Lexie.”
“Flashback?” Asher’s rich baritone brought me back a bit more. Asher hadn’t been at the cabin. I’m not at the cabin, I’m sitting on the shore of the lake… Tears kept falling as I felt it all fresh again.
“Yeah,” Ethan said, his hand moving to hold my cheek. It helped ground me even more. “Who came with us tonight?”
I focused on answering and not the memories, “Everyone.”
“Name them, Beautiful,” he whispered.
“You, Isaac, Asher, Zeke and Miles,” I recited through the knot in my throat. The flashback was fading. I knew where I was but the aftermath… that wouldn’t let up.
“It’s okay, Beautiful, cry all you want. I’ve got you.” I nodded against his shirt as his arms tightened around me. He kept rocking me and telling me about his day, how nice the moon looked over the lake. Eventually, limes mixed with spice in my nose.
“Red, breathe for us,” Isaac’s rich honey-like voice said before a hand rested on my shoulder.
It helped. I was safe, Isaac and Miles got me out of the cabin. Clay Ordin was in jail. It was spring. I’m not in the cabin. I kept thinking it over and over. The jingle of keys started somewhere far off.
“What happened?” Asher asked, his voice hard.
“Nothing, she was fine one second and the next she wasn’t,” Ryan said, his voice concerned. The key jingle grew louder, then stopped.
“Not buying it,” Isaac said. “She’s been doing better for the last month.”
“What the fuck did you do?” Zeke’s snarl helped pull me back more. There was a scuffle.
I focused on the fact that I was on the shore. That Clay Ordin hadn’t touched me in months. He couldn’t get to me. I didn’t need a shower. Isaac and Ethan started humming that tune I loved.
“Let him go, Zeke!” Asher snapped. “Ally’s having a flashback. It’s not a good time for you to lose it around her.” Leather and engine grease filled my nose.
“Give her to me,” Zeke growled. My flashback may have been over but I wasn’t ready to face anything yet. I was still struggling to breathe.
“You know I can’t, man.” Ethan reminded him quietly. Zeke cursed.
“What happened?” Miles’ silky-smooth timbre reached my ears. The pressure in my chest began to ease.
“Flashback.” Asher, Ethan, Isaac, and Zeke answered in unison.
“What triggered her?” Zeke demanded. There was silence.
“Ryan, tell us what happened?” Miles asked calmly, in a firm voice.
“She said something about my cologne when I sat down,” Ryan told them, baffled.
Isaac’s hand left my shoulder. Wintergreen tickled my nose. I stopped burying my face in Ethan’s chest. I laid my cheek against his shoulder, my forehead against the warmth of his neck. I was back but I was still in pieces in the sand. I kept my eyes closed and tried to pull it together.
“What the hell are you doing?” Ryan snapped.
“He’s wearing the same fucking cologne Ordin was.” Isaac bit out. All the guys, except Miles, cursed.
“How do you know that?” Ryan asked.
“I got a real good sniff when I was beating the shit out of him,” Isaac said, his voice boiling.
“Is that it? You sat down and this happened?” Asher’s voice demanded an answer. I listened to Ethan’s heartbeat, that soothing tune slipping through my ears. It helped ease the tightness in my chest even more.
“I…” Ryan began awkwardly. “I might… have kissed her.” Ethan stopped rocking me. His body grew tense around me.
Isaac cursed “You son of a-”
“What the fuck, Ryan?” Ethan snapped. “I told you not to make a move! I told you she wasn’t there yet!”
“I know! I should have fucking listened.” Ryan shouted back. “She just… seemed fine.”
“Of course, she did,” Miles explained. “Because she was. Until you did that.” Miles’ calm voice helped; I realized the guys were pissed at Ryan, but it wasn’t his fault.
“It was the cologne.” I managed in a small shaking voice. Everyone stopped yelling.
Fingers brushed my hair back from my face. I opened my eyes. Miles was kneeling in front of me. His emerald eyes warm on mine.
“Was it only his cologne?” Miles asked gently. I hesitated. He noticed. “Lexie?”
“He… he just surprised me,” I mumbled. Zeke let out a deep growl. Isaac and Asher blocked Zeke before he could reach Ryan. Ryan backed up even more, his hands up and away from his body.
“Get out of here, Ryan!” Isaac grunted as he fought to keep Zeke away. “Or Zeke’s going to kill you!” Ryan sent me an apologetic look before heading back towards the bonfire.
Zeke stopped fighting the others only to pace up and down the shoreline. I closed my eyes and tried to stop crying. I focused on taking deep breaths and knowing that the guys were around me.
When I finally stopped, I opened my eyes.
Miles wiped my cheeks with Zeke’s handkerchief. “Are you ready to go home?” I nodded. It was humiliating. I had been fine, confident even. Then one smell, one surprise and bam! I was a crying mess. I hated it.
“I’ll carry her.” Isaac’s voice said not to argue.
“I can walk to the car,” I said quietly.
Isaac crouched down in front of me. “You’re sure?”
“I need to,” I muttered.
Ethan kissed my forehead before letting me go. Isaac reached out, took my hands and helped me to my feet. He wrapped his arm around me as we started moving through the crowd. I leaned against him a little, feeling exhausted. It was as if I had just run a marathon, and in a way, I had. The others made a path as we walked through the party and out to the parking lot.
I had let them down. I had promised that I was okay to be left alone and I let them down. I pushed that thought away as my eyes burned again.
When we reached the twins’ car, Isaac opened the passenger door. Ethan made sure I was buckled in. I hid my face in my hands.
“I’m sorry, guys,” I told them, my voice tired.
“It’s okay, Ally.”
“This is all part of the healing process.” Miles reminded me.
“Don’t be stupid Red, this party sucked.”
“Yeah, we were talking about leaving anyway. You’re just giving us a reason, Beautiful.”
Zeke was quiet. I dropped my hands and looked up at them. Not one of them seemed angry or frustrated as they closed my door. I kept my gaze on the floor of the car as Ethan pulled out of the lot and headed back to town. Through the drive my mind be
came clearer.
By the time they pulled up to my house I was doing better. I took off my seat belt.
“Thanks,” I said.
“No problem, Beautiful” Ethan said instantly.
My door opened. Isaac reached in to help me to my feet. I took his hand and climbed out of the car. I shut the door then turned to the house. I had a flash of being grabbed on the front step. The lawn had been covered in snow, the porch light was only bright enough to see my keys. I hadn’t even realized he was behind the tall bushes next to the door. I hated the front of Rory’s house now. The sage green craftsman was a great house, pretty even. I just didn’t like the bushes next to the door or the shadows all over the yard. I shuddered. Isaac’s hand tightened on mine as he gave me a small tug to get me going.
I unlocked the door, then Isaac went in first. I followed and disarmed the new security system Rory had installed. After punching in the combo I turned back to Isaac. He wordlessly pulled me into a hug.
“It’ll get better, Lexie.” he reminded me.
“Promise?”
“Promise.” He gave me a squeeze then kissed my cheek before heading out the door. I turned the deadbolt and turned the system on again.
I went to my bedroom and shoved a snoring Hades to the other side. I laid down, not bothering to change out of my clothes. My phone vibrated in my pocket. It was Ryan.
Ryan: I’m sorry. Please tell me you’re alright?
Poor guy, he probably thought it was all his fault.
Alexis: I’m okay.
Ryan: I’m so sorry. I didn’t know about the cologne.
Alexis: It wasn’t your fault. Don’t worry about it.
Ryan: You’re tired, go to sleep. Night.
Alexis: Night.
I held my phone half expecting Zeke to text me. Sure enough, ten minutes later someone did.
Ethan: Are you okay?
I smiled to myself.
Alexis: I’m okay. Just tired.
Ethan: Do you want some company?
Alexis: Nah, I’ll be fine.
Ethan: Are you sure? I’m more than willing to sneak out.
Alexis: Yeah, I’m good.
Ethan: Alright. Get some sleep.
Whispers From the Dead Page 3