“I uh... I just wanted to see if you were available for lunch today.”
This is more than about lunch. Otherwise, he would have just texted me. I want to point that out, but I’m not about to embarrass him in front of the others.
“You weren’t picking up,” he adds nervously. “And I was in the neighborhood...”
Geena takes a sip of her coffee as her gaze shifts elsewhere and Kiran makes a point to look at something on his phone. I have no doubt they’re aware that my bleak mood involves David.
Before I have a chance to answer, Kiran says, “We’ll leave you two. I really have to take Mother home so I can get to work.”
“No, I’m leaving.” David holds up his hand. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“It’s fine,” Geena says as she rises from her chair. “Kiran’s right. We really should be going. It was very nice to meet you.”
“You as well.” David shoves his hands in his pockets, and he and Kiran exchange nods.
“Good-bye, Anna.” Kiran momentarily touches my arm. “I hope the rest of your day is better.”
David waits for them to leave and then frowns at me. “You didn’t... You didn’t talk to them about us, did you?”
“Of course not!”
He clears his throat, only to stand there silently, and I feel uneasy.
“Can we talk?” he asks. “Back in your office?”
“We can’t just talk here?”
“I’d rather have some privacy, but if you have patients, I can wait until your lunch hour.”
This is not going to be good. “I was just planning to catch up on some paperwork today, so come on.”
After not having said another word to each other during our walk back, we’re sitting across from one another in the two chairs in front of my desk. I wait quietly for what he’s about to say.
David hesitates, leans forward, and pinches his bottom lip. “I know I’ve been making you unhappy.”
I’m absolutely dismal at this opening, but I say nothing and keep staring, expressionless, at his face.
He rubs the middle of his forehead and closes his eyes. Then he holds his fist against his mouth. It feels as if he’s waiting for me to interject, to finish what he wants to say. I won’t.
“Am I right?” he asks. “Do I make you unhappy?”
“David, you’re the one that’s unhappy.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “No. I love you more than anything.”
I want to say he loves writing more than anything, that the kids and I come second, but I don’t, because honestly, I can feel how tormented he is in this moment, and I won’t do that to him.
But he sees it. He sees it all in my face.
Lowering his head, he turns away.
“So I guess this is it then,” I say.
He rubs his palm in circles against his chest and slowly meets my gaze with reddened eyes. “I can’t take disappointing you anymore. I know I make you feel lonely... and I don’t think I’m selfless enough to fix it.”
I nod, then lift my shoulders. “So you don’t even wanna try?” Frankly, I’m not sure I want to try, either. I love him, but I have this gnawing feeling it would be prolonging the inevitable.
He leans back in his chair, as if a burden has already been lifted from him, knowing we’re through. Instead of reaching out to comfort me, he’s already distancing himself. “It’s like you said, babe. I’m extreme. I have a hard time finding middle ground, a balance.”
I chew on my lip, nodding again.
“I just don’t think right now I can give you what you need, what you deserve.”
“Okay, then.” I stand. “There’s nothing left to say.”
He rises, too, his arms dangling at his sides. “I wish you wouldn’t look at me like that.”
A wry, clipped laugh escapes my mouth. “Like what?”
“Please, don’t hate me.”
I blink once, slowly, then look him in the eye. “I don’t hate you.” How do I make him understand that I’m sad, and hurt, but more than anything else, I’m worried? For him.
Eleven
David moved in with another faculty member from the university who works in the English Department. Perhaps he thinks if he’s with like-minded people who are more of his own element, he’ll be happy. I wish him the best with his book and his new job. I really do. Maybe he doesn’t have an alcohol problem and everything’s under control. But honestly, I have a bad feeling. I don’t want to see him become one of those artists who fall into the trap of believing they must be addicted and tortured to have success.
It’s been a week since he left, and in that week I’ve done plenty of crying, moping, and deliberating on whether or not I’m devastated or relieved. Relieved to be rid of the impending worry and confrontation. Well, confrontation, at least. I’ll still worry. I miss him, but surprisingly, not as much as I had anticipated. I think it may be because it’s harder to miss someone you rarely saw to begin with.
I do miss the man I met five years ago, the one who watched sitcoms with me, who played board games with the kids and told stupid jokes, who debated with Carly about which character would be the next one to kick it on The Walking Dead.
What do they say about breakups? It takes one month for every year you were together to get over them? So, I’m aware I’ve got about five months of shit ahead of me, but have determined my week of blackness has been enough for now.
In an effort to raise my spirits, I decide to throw a dinner party. It’s intimate, with just the kids, Luke, Richard, Julia and her husband. I’ve never had one before, but one of my favorite movies is Notting Hill, and my favorite scene in that movie is the dinner party. In fact, shortly after watching that film, I bought a round dining table so I could have dinner parties where everyone could see each other, and we’d have thoughtful, funny conversation. It never happened.
So, dinner party it is. Nothing fancy. I’m not exactly a gourmet. My tried and true dish will be parmesan chicken a la Best Foods mayonnaise and bread crumbs.
Everyone is seated at the table set with the lovely Desert Rose dishes Luke’s mother gave us when we got married. The same ones she insisted I keep when we split. There’s wine, bread, grilled asparagus, mashed potatoes, and if I do say so myself, everything looks pretty delicious.
“How are you holding up, my friend?” Julia asks.
“I’m fine. I’ll be fine.” I pour everyone a glass of wine. Everyone except for Hayden and Julia’s husband, Derek, who are beer drinkers. “But this evening will not involve discussion of unfortunate breakups. It’s about family and friends, and new beginnings.”
Everyone holds up their glass, or beer bottle, as the case may be. “Cheers!”
“Hayden, where’s Tessa tonight?” I ask. “You did invite her, didn’t you?”
“She had to work.”
“I assume things are still going well with you two?” I pass the bread basket to Luke.
Hayden takes a bite of potatoes and grins. “Couldn’t be better.” He winks at Carly.
Carly shakes her head. “You seem to have the mistaken idea that I’m unhappy with this development.”
“In all fairness, you were the one who insisted she wasn’t into me.”
“My apologies, oh grand master.” She holds out her arms with a slight bow. “I underestimated the power of your pasta making skills.”
Everyone chuckles and Hayden nods. “You are pardoned.”
“Anna,” Luke begins, “I wanna know if Kiran is still bringing his mom to your office for her visits.”
“He is.”
“Who’s Kiran?” Derek asks.
“He’s that friend of Jacob’s family who was at the wedding,” Julia explains. “He actually went to school with us.”
“Oh, okay.”
“And if he isn’t a tall glass of water!” Julia adds before taking a sip of her wine.
Luke starts buttering a slice of bread. “He’s also been conveniently returning to Anna�
��s practice. Bringing his mother for her visits, of course,” he says without looking at me.
“Thank you, Luke, local town crier.” I set down my fork. “And what do you mean conveniently returning? He’s been bringing his mother because her husband’s been away.”
Luke raises his hands. “All I know is there was some definite fondness for Anna goin’ on that night at the reception.”
“Really!” Richard raises his eyebrows at me.
“What?” Julia huffs. “Why didn’t I know about this?”
My mouth drops open at Luke, before I turn to Julia and smile. “He does not know what he’s talking about.”
Hayden twirls his bottle of beer in his hand. “You go, Mom! Stealing the heart of the tall glass of water! Have no idea what that means,” he mutters to Carly. “I assume the guy is hot.”
“And,” Luke dramatically addresses everyone at the table, “she said he told her he had a crush on her in high school!”
I look down and take a bite of my asparagus. “I hate you right now.”
Richard puts his hand over Luke’s. “Forgive him, Anna. You know he gets loose-lipped when he’s had a few.”
“What? This is good!” Luke continues. “You just got out of a relationship, so now you’re free to have a little fun with the hot guy.”
His passion about this topic makes me smile, despite myself.
“Okay, sweetie,” Richard says. “I think that’s enough. You’re embarrassing Anna.”
Luke meets my eyes. “Anna Banana knows I would never try to embarrass her.”
“I’ll tell you one thing.” Julia pours herself another glass of wine. “I feel like I’ve been seriously out of the loop.”
My shoulders drop. “What loop? There’s no loop!”
“What about his mother’s birthday party next week?” Julia asks. “Are you going?”
“See, I tell you stuff. You knew about the party.”
“Are you going?”
“Why not? They said I can bring a guest. I was going to see if you’d come with me.”
“Oh, no no no.” Julia snaps her head back and her eyes get really big. “You don’t need a third wheel there, should something develop.”
I shake my head and snicker. “You guys are hilarious, you know that? It’s his mother’s seventieth birthday party. Nothing is going to develop.”
Twelve
I arrive at the front door of the Kapurs’ home, which sits on a huge lot at the end of a cul-de-sac. Most homes in Las Vegas are stuccoed; however, the entire front of this house is covered in stone. With gables, two chimneys, two balconies, and a shaker-style roof, rather than the typical Spanish tile, it’s quite beautiful.
Kiran’s father answers the door. “Anna, it’s good to see you again!”
“Good to see you, Mr. Kapur,” I say as I step inside.
“I told you before. Call me Ahsan. Please.”
Geena spots me from across the room and makes her way toward me, no longer walking with her cane. “I told you not to bring a present,” she says as I hand her a small gift bag which contains a silver necklace I bought.
I smile and give her a hug. “How can I not bring a gift for your seventieth birthday?”
“Well, thank you. That was very sweet. Ahsan, dear, would you please take this and put it on the table with the others while I speak with Anna?”
“Absolutely.”
Geena wastes no time linking her arm in mine and leads me to the next room where live music can be heard. “I’m so sorry to ask this of you, but Kiran really needs your help,” she says in a hushed voice.
“Help? What do you mean?”
“It’s Miranda.”
“Miranda? Oh, you mean the one he came to the wedding with?”
I haven’t the slightest clue where she’s going with this. We stop at the entrance of a large bonus room where lots of people are milling about, some of them dancing, and I see Kiran sitting in the corner next to Miranda. She’s talking, leaning in toward him, while he sits with a drink in his hand, his body slightly turned away.
“I’m confused. Why does he need my help?”
“I’m just going to make a long story short,” she says hastily. “I invited her mother, who is my friend, but I didn’t know she was bringing Miranda. Miranda will not leave him alone, and I don’t like her.” She looks me straight in the eye and I can’t help but chuckle.
“I’m sure he can take care of himself.”
“Of course he can, but he doesn’t like her either, and he’s too much of a gentleman to give her the slip.”
I slowly shake my head, speechless. Don’t get me wrong. I adore Geena, but to say she’s a little too involved in her son’s business is a bit of an understatement.
I shrug. “I’m not sure what you want me to do.”
“Just follow my lead.” She takes me by the hand and leads me toward Kiran and Miranda.
Kiran sees us and his face brightens. He stands to greet us. “Anna, hi!”
“Hi there. Hello, Miranda. Nice to see you again.” I can fake pleasantries when I have to.
“Hello.” She cocks her head and stares at me.
“Sorry I’m a little late,” I say to no one in particular. “When I got in my car, the battery was completely dead, and I had to wait for my daughter to get home so I could borrow her car.”
“Don’t give it a second thought,” Geena insists with a wave of her hand. “Kiran, now that your date has arrived, why don’t the two of you have a dance?”
I freeze in place, but my eyebrows pop up and my gaze slips to Kiran. This is the lead I’m supposed to follow? His brow furrows, I’m assuming with confusion, as he looks at Geena.
Miranda narrows her eyes, surveying each of us, while Geena takes the now empty seat beside her.
When no one speaks after a few seconds, Kiran offers me an easy smile and holds out his hand. “Well, I’m game if you are.”
This is the absolute worst! Nothing like a mother hurling me at her son.
“Miranda, I’ve been looking for your mother, but I don’t know where she’s disappeared to.” Geena places her hand on Miranda’s knee. “How about you come help me find her?”
Miranda looks just as confused as Kiran did a moment ago, as I take his hand and follow him to the center of the room to dance.
“Wha-a-a-t just happened?” I ask.
Kiran shakes his head and puts his hand on my waist. “I have no idea, but you just witnessed the infamous Geena Kapur in action. I’m sorry she put you in such an awkward position.”
“No, it’s fine.” I smile as I watch Geena leading Miranda around the room, as they try to “locate” Miranda’s mother. “She pounced on me the minute I got here, saying that you needed rescuing.”
He backs away a few inches and stops dancing. “What? I apologize. That woman is crazy sometimes.”
I can’t help but laugh at this. It’s the first time I’ve heard him speak in such a personal, informal manner.
I scan the room and the extravagance of the evening begins to sink in. I’m glad I chose not to dress as casually as I usually would for a birthday celebration, because this is quite a fancy party. In addition to the live band, there’s an open bar, along with all sorts of scrumptious hors d’oeuvres and desserts on serving tables at the far end of the room.
When I turn my attention back to Kiran, he’s got those greenies on me again. “You look very pretty, Anna.”
“Oh. Thank you.” I swallow a gulp of air. “You look very handsome yourself. But then again, you always do.” Gahhhhh! That was too much!
My cheeks catch fire.
“Thank you.”
“So, explain to me why Miranda is so enthralled with you tonight, when she wasn’t at all interested the night of the wedding.”
“That’s a good question, but here is my theory. I think it’s all for your benefit.”
I blink a few times and frown. “My benefit?”
“She wasn’t showering me with
attention until my mother mentioned that you would be here tonight.”
I glance back in her direction to catch her eyeballing us with an annoyed expression on her face. Okay, this woman clearly has some issues.
“Personally, I think you made an enemy of her that night when you took the waiter’s side over hers.”
“Oh my hell.” I roll my eyes.
I have the most difficult time looking directly at Kiran. For someone who comes off as reserved and somewhat shy, he has no problem with the constant eye contact. In fact, I can feel his gaze on me at this moment.
“You know, you make me very nervous,” I admit.
“I make you nervous?” He gives me an incredulous stare. “I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Anna. I know that you’re in a relationship.”
That’s another thing about Kiran. He seems to say my name a lot when we speak. Most people don’t do that.
“Well, no... I’m not, actually. Not anymore. And I didn’t say you make me uncomfortable. I said you make me nervous.”
“You’re not? You’re not what?”
“I’m not in a relationship. David moved out a couple weeks ago.”
His hand slides from my waist to my upper back, like he might pull me in for a hug. He looks into my face with concern and squeezes my hand. “I’m sorry.”
“I’ll be fine,” I reply promptly. “These things happen.”
I expect him to conclude our dance when the song ends, however, we continue through the next song, neither of us saying anything for some time. I move in a little closer to him, mostly to avoid the intimate gazes.
My stomach is in knots. By all appearances, Kiran is attracted to me. Either that, or he truly is hiding out on the dance floor to avoid Miranda.
But no, he’s given me this feeling each time I’ve seen him. At my office, that day at Starbucks, even a little at the wedding reception. Though, I didn’t want to admit it when Luke made his comment about Kiran being “smitten” with me.
Pft! Anna, you’re crazy. There’s no way someone who looks like Kiran...
“I was just thinking.” He breaks into my thoughts. “About something else I’ve always remembered about you from high school.”
Vegas to Varanasi (Fortytude Series Book 1) Page 6