“Please tell me this isn’t going to be about my Madonna phase. If so, be kind.”
Kiran purses his lips together, as if he’s considering that visual. “No, not about your Madonna phase, which sadly, I missed.”
“I’ve got pictures I can share with you sometime. If you’re ever interested.”
“I’d like that.” He gives me an appreciative chuckle. “But what I remember is that there was this one student who, I think, must have been autistic. I never knew his name.”
I nod because immediately I know who he’s referring to. “Yes! His name was Benny!”
“Benny? Well, Benny almost always sat by himself in the cafeteria. In fact, he seemed to prefer it. But I remember seeing you, on several occasions, go over and talk to him. Once, you even managed to get him to join you and your friends.”
I smile at the memory. “Yeah, I think after that he decided there was a little too much estrogen going on at that table and it wasn’t for him.”
When I look up, Kiran is regarding me so intently, I swear he’s mentally calculating the diameter of my pupils. “It was truly exceptional, for someone your age to be so compassionate toward others.”
This is becoming far too intense. My insides feel as if they’re playing musical chairs. “I could really use a drink. You?”
“I’ll get it for you. What would you like?”
“A glass of white wine, please.”
“Any particular kind?”
“Whatever they have is fine.”
I sit down on one of the sofas while he walks to the bar for our drinks.
This is childish. Why am I acting like I’ve never had a man give me attention before? It has to be because I’m letting his looks intimidate me.
Luke never flustered me, but maybe that was because he was my buddy first. Despite his good looks, he was approachable. Kiran, on the other hand... I can honestly say I’ve never met anyone in real life who was so arresting.
I feel flushed and touch my face.
He’s not full of himself, and he genuinely seems to like me. Clearly, he has these idealistic memories of me which are far too much to live up to. I’m not Gandhi, for crying out loud!
He returns with my drink and sits beside me.
“Thank you.” I bring the glass to my lips and look straight ahead.
“I’m sorry I’ve been making you nervous,” he says gently.
My mouth goes dry, despite taking a sip of wine. “It’s nothing.” The words come out as a whisper and sound ridiculous.
“No, it isn’t.” He pauses to sample his on-the-rocks concoction. “Can I tell you something, at the risk of making you nervous again?”
I realize I’m nodding and grimacing at the same time, but it seems I have no control over my facial muscles.
“Now that my father has returned, he’ll be bringing Mother for her visits with you, and there aren’t many of those visits left. I would hate to lose touch.”
I draw my lips in. My pulse skips.
“You’re just coming out of something,” he continues. “I don’t know how long or how serious it was. I assume the breakup was significant if you were living together, and I don’t want to disrespect that, but... I would like to still see you.”
Lightly pulling at the tips of my hair, I frantically try to think of something to say so he’s not left hanging, but nothing comes.
He leans forward on his knees, bringing his face in closer. “Would that be alright with you? If it isn’t, please don’t feel like you can’t say so.”
“I’m probably being dense, but when you say you’d like to see me, what do you mean by that?”
“I mean in whatever capacity you’d be comfortable with. If it’s as friends, or perhaps more than that at some point...” He straightens again and turns toward the dancing guests before taking another drink. “Sorry if I’m being too forward, but this might be my last opportunity to say anything.”
I take a deep breath and place my hand on my chest. “I’m so flattered, Kiran. And I like you, too. I just don’t want to disappoint you. You seem to have certain ideas about me, but you really don’t know me.”
He nods while I speak, and I realize how condescending that may have sounded.
“I know enough that I’m willing to learn more.” He briefly leans sideways and playfully bumps my shoulder with his.
I smile and take a sip from my glass. That was completely unexpected. And adorable.
“Why do I suddenly feel like there’s a skilled charmer hiding underneath that quiet disposition?”
He gives me a boyish grin and shrugs. “Maybe I’m so uneasy about this conversation, I had to lighten things up. But you still haven’t given me a direct answer, so I’m beginning to think that’s your polite way of telling me ‘thanks, but no thanks.’”
I want to say it has nothing to do with disinterest. The truth is, the thought of dating someone, or even having a fling with someone who looks like him, is pretty terrifying. God, how shallow am I? I’m no shrinking violet. I would say I have pretty healthy self-esteem, but I cannot even imagine a relationship with Kiran. I could easily fantasize about one. But realistically?
I won’t say any of this to Kiran, of course. Talk about too much information, and what an insult, really. I’m basing my feelings solely on his looks.
Luke’s idea about having some fun with the “hot guy” comes to mind. I can’t really do that, can I?
“Kiran, I can’t tell you how I feel about it, because I don’t even know. Like you said, I just got out of this thing with David...”
“You’re right. I never should have said anything.”
“No, I’m not saying that! I’m glad you said something.” Ugh! This is so uncomfortable. “I can tell you this, I don’t want for us to lose touch, either. Can we just agree to hang out sometimes, as friends, and see what happens?”
He closes his eyes and nods. “Of course.”
I’m not sure I’m up for this so soon after my split with David. Either I’ll develop a serious rebound crush on Kiran and he’ll break my heart, or he’ll be hurt and disappointed when he inevitably gets over his lingering adolescent affection for me.
Thirteen
The next day, I return home from getting my car battery replaced to find David’s car parked in front of my house. I pull into the garage and slowly exhale, before opening the car door.
When I go inside, David is sitting in the living room with Hayden where they’re conversing. He immediately stands when he sees me. “Hey.” He crosses his arms, and in the next second, drops them to his sides.
“Hey.”
“I had a few more things I needed to come by and pick up. I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course.”
Hayden lowers his head; I’m sure trying to think of a way to exit. He takes the cell phone out of his pocket and stares at the screen. “I just got a text from Tessa. I’ll leave you guys alone. It was good seeing you, David,” he says before retreating to his room.
“Yeah. You, too, Hayden.” David shoves his hands in his pockets and turns back to me. “How are you?”
“I’m fine. You?”
“Fine.”
“How’s the book? The new job?”
“Good. Good. The book’s going through editing, and the new job is going well. At least, so far, so good.”
“That’s great!” I nod.
He folds his arms over his chest and holds his elbow. Clearly he’s having hand placement issues. “Can we talk for a minute?”
Smiling uncomfortably, I joke, “Isn’t that what we’re doing?”
“Yeah, I guess so. I just meant—”
“I know what you meant. Well, let’s sit down.” I motion toward the couches.
He sits on one couch while I sit on the other so that we’re facing each other. I cross my legs and lace my fingers over my knee. This is really weird. It feels so formal.
“Okay. So here goes.” David rolls his shoulders. Good God, he’s a p
ool of nervous energy, but then again, he always has been. “I was wondering if we might stay friends.”
Hmmm. Why?
“I miss you,” he continues. “I miss the kids. Despite the fact that you and I didn’t work out, I consider you guys my family.”
I shake my head, trying to process his request. “David, you rarely made time for your ‘family’ when you lived here,” I say with a light chuckle.
He looks away, twiddling his thumbs. “I know. You’re right.”
“Look, I’m not mad at you. I wish you the best, but at the risk of being hurtful, I have no desire to remain friends. It would just be too awkward.”
He gives me an understanding nod and then hesitates. “What about the kids? Would you be opposed to me keeping in touch with the kids from time to time?”
His question makes me wonder if this was all he really wanted to begin with, but he didn’t want to come off like I wasn’t a factor. Honestly, I don’t see this continued relationship with the kids ever happening, but who am I to interfere? “Whatever.” I raise my hands. “That’s entirely up to Hayden and Carly. I’m not going to forbid it if it’s something they’re comfortable with.”
“Thank you.”
I shrug. “Sure.”
I don’t know what else to say at this point. Regardless of my uncertainty about trying to work things out with him, I would have at least made the effort, even if it turned out to be fruitless. And the fact that he never expressed any desire to do so, stings.
“Well, I guess I better get going.” David rises to leave and I stand as well. “It was good to see you.” He approaches and gives me an awkward kiss on the cheek.
“Good to see you, too. Take care, David.”
He picks up the box of items sitting at the front door and leaves.
I plop down on the couch and stare blankly out the French doors leading to the backyard.
Hayden appears. “David leave?”
“Yeah.”
He walks over and has a seat next to me on the sofa. “You okay?” he asks and drapes an arm around me.
I groan. “Not at the moment, no. But I will be.”
He gives me an affectionate squeeze and I turn to look at him. “David still wants to see you and Carly every once in a while. Did he say anything to you about it?”
“No.”
“Is that something you wanna do? I mean, it makes no difference to me, either way.”
He scrunches his face. “I don’t know... It’s not like I’m super close with him or anything. Not that I dislike him. I guess if Carly wants to. Honestly, it would seem kinda weird, but whatever.”
Hayden gets along with pretty much anyone, but there’s no doubt that in his eyes, his dad is the shit, and he never developed a closeness with David the way Carly has. Carly, however, has a tendency to look after others, and I think maybe she’s always had a sense that David is a little lost.
“You get the battery replaced okay?” Hayden asks. Apparently the prior conversation no longer held his interest.
“Mmm hmm.”
“Hey, I haven’t had a chance to ask how the party went last night. How did it go with Tall Glass of Water?” He winks.
I bite my lip and smile.
Hayden removes his arm from my shoulder and gives me a shove. “Mom, you little cougar!”
“He’s the same age as me, so that doesn’t make me a cougar.”
“Oh, yeah. I guess the way everyone was going on about how hot he is, I was thinking he’s younger.”
“What? A person in their forties can’t be hot?” I smack him in the leg.
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to. So what happened with Tall Glass?”
“Nothing.” I chew on one of my cuticles. “He just said he wants to see me every once in a while.”
“Nice!” Hayden grins. “Mom’s got herself some eye candy.”
“Your enthusiasm about this is beginning to disturb me.”
He pulls me toward him and gives me a big smooch on the cheek. “I just want you to be happy.”
Fourteen
Tonight Julia and I are making a visit to Stoney’s night club to go dancing. I’m not much of a country music fan, but we ventured in there a couple of months ago and had such a good time watching everyone dance. We were itching to get on the floor with them, but had no clue how to do any of the steps. So we made a pact to find some lessons on YouTube and try out our new moves.
“I still don’t know about this,” I say as our wrists are stamped before entering the club. “The only dance I got around to learning was the Cotton Eye Joe, and that’s iffy.”
“As long as there’s enough people on the floor, we can just blend,” Julia says.
We walk into the darkened club to see a number of cowboy hats throughout the place, but for the most part, the patrons are dressed in regular attire. Many of the women wear shorts with boots. As we near the center of the club, couples are doing the two-step, creating a whirlpool effect as they circle the floor. Sexy young women in Daisy Dukes dance on raised platforms while a Taylor Swift song blares.
Two people leave their seats at the edge of the dance floor and we’re lucky to snag them before anyone else does.
“We probably should have gotten our drinks first, huh?” I say.
“Mmm, yeah. But then we wouldn’t have gotten these seats.”
“I’ll get us something. What do you want?”
“I’ll have whatever you get. I’m easy.”
I make my way toward the back of the club where the bar is located, not far from the mechanical bull. As I wait to place my order with the bartender, I watch with amusement as a young woman in a bikini takes a ride while several other bikini clad women await their turn. She’s having a grand ol’ time, raising her arm in the air and laughing as her hips undulate to the motion of the bull. I smile to myself as I look at the guy who’s operating the machine. He is completely mesmerized. I’m sure he had to know someone to get that job.
When I return to Julia with our drinks, she’s intently observing the feet of the mass of people now line dancing, then she shakes her head. “Nope. Don’t think I can manage that one.”
“Baby steps. We’ll wait for the Cotton Eye Joe. If I can do that halfway decent, maybe I’ll have the courage to try the others.”
“We’ve got liquid courage right here, my friend. Once we’ve had a couple more of these, I’m sure we won’t care much about how good our moves are.” She raises her plastic cup to tap mine.
“This is true.”
“Okay, you’ve made me wait long enough.” Julia sets down her drink and leans her elbow on the table. “Tell me more about the night you went to the birthday party. The one for McSteamy’s mom.”
I haven’t seen Kiran since the party a week ago; however, we’ve exchanged a few friendly texts. “There’s not much more than what I’ve already told you. He just said since his mom’s treatments are nearly done, he’d like to still keep in touch.”
“Does he want to date?” Julia asks, more like yells, because the music is so intrusive.
I tilt my head and purse my lips. “Yeah, I think so. Maybe? He said something about being more than friends, if I was up for it.”
A satisfied grin spreads across Julia’s face. “So, are ya up for it? C’mon, Anna. I mean, I know you just broke up with David, but how could you not give that a go?” She rattles the ice in her vodka and cranberry.
“I just love how you, Luke, and even Hayden are all for me going after the hot guy.”
I continue to watch the dancers during our conversation, and there is the most adorable old man, he must be in his eighties, two-stepping with a woman who looks in her sixties. I wonder if she’s his wife or daughter. That’s what I like about this place. There are people of all ages, not like one of those trendy clubs on the Strip where each person you see is more beautiful than the next.
“You gotta check out this cute old guy when he comes around again. He’s having the b
est time. Aww, we gotta learn!” I give Julia a nudge. “Do you think Derek would come with you?”
“Anna, focus! Are you going to date Kiran or not?”
I use my straw to stab at the ice in my cup. “I don’t know. He’s almost too good-looking.”
“Are you kidding? How can someone be too good-looking to date?”
“I don’t know!” I shrug. “I’m just so self-conscious and weird around him. And he’s freakin’ intense!”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, he was being all serious and googly-eyed, talking about my ‘compassion’ in high school. I’m not used to that kind of behavior.” I pull on my blouse, trying to straighten it because it keeps sliding off my shoulder. “You know, unlike David who is kind of a goofball.”
“Googly-eyed, huh?” Julia brings her straw to her mouth, only to discover she’s reached the bottom of her drink. “Ah, damn it! I need a refill. I’m gonna get us another round. Hold that thought!” She points a finger at me before she heads for the bar.
I continue to watch as the couples circle the floor, the men spinning the women as they make their way around. How do they do that? When I was a kid, my parents used to go disco dancing and my dad taught me in our living room, mostly to Donna Summer music. It wasn’t too hard because, really, the guy does all the work, but you stayed in one place. You weren’t twirling and traveling around the floor at the same time.
I try to locate the elderly gentleman, but seem to have lost him. When I turn my gaze away from the dance floor, he’s standing just a couple feet away, towering over me with a kindly smile. He must be at least six four, or else it’s the cowboy hat adding to his stature. “Hello, Miss. I was wondering if you would like to join me for a dance.”
I’m taken off guard and quickly scan the place for Julia because I don’t want to lose our seats. Then again, we’ll lose them the minute we decide to brave our new dance moves anyway.
“I’d love to, but I don’t know how to dance like that. At all.”
Julia comes up behind him with drinks in hand and smirks.
“The only way you’ll ever learn is by giving it a shot,” he says. “I saw you watching everyone and you looked like you’re dying to try. I promise I’m a good teacher.” He holds out his hand.
Vegas to Varanasi (Fortytude Series Book 1) Page 7