The Governess of Highland Hall: A Novel

by Carrie Turansky

  “He hasn’t yet. Surely that’s a good sign.” Julia stepped closer and laid her hand on Sarah’s arm. “Just talk to him. Tell him what’s in your heart. He may not agree, but I’m sure he’ll listen.”

  Sarah glanced over her shoulder as William approached. “Please stay with me while I speak to him.”

  Julia hesitated, but she nodded just before William joined them.

  “Are you ladies ready?” He sent Julia a smile and then shifted his gaze to Sarah.

  Sarah swallowed and slipped her handbag to the other arm. “I wondered if we might walk home so I could speak to you about … an important matter.”

  He lifted one eyebrow, glanced at Julia, and then Sarah. “If that’s what you’d like.”

  “It is. And I’ve asked Miss Foster to stay with me, if you’re agreeable.”

  “All right.”

  The tension in Sarah’s shoulders eased a bit. “Thank you, William.”

  He spoke to Katherine and Penelope and sent them home in the carriage. Then he motioned toward the path. “Shall we walk?”

  Sarah and Julia nodded, and they set off.

  Sarah prayed for strength, then straightened her shoulders. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my feelings for Mr. Dalton. I know you were unhappy to find us together in his office, but I want to assure you that nothing improper happened between us.”

  “I should hope not.”

  “I should’ve spoken to you about it when you came to my door that day. But I was upset and afraid I would speak out in anger.” William nodded, looking thoughtful.

  “I’ve had time to pray and think things through, and I want to say that I love Clark Dalton very much. And I’m convinced he is a good and kind man who would make a fine husband. But I’m prepared to listen to your concerns.”

  William cleared his throat. “Well, I appreciate that.”

  Sarah held her breath. Please, God, soften his heart. Help him put aside his prejudices and see what’s truly important.

  “If you had come to me yesterday, or even this morning before church, I would’ve given you a list of reasons why you should not become involved with Mr. Dalton, but, in the light of Reverend Langford’s sermon this morning and the warning from James against judging a man by his social standing and outward appearance, I am rethinking my position on the matter.”

  Sarah blinked and almost missed a step. “What?”

  “I’m not saying I have totally changed my mind,” William continued. “But perhaps I was too hasty with my decision.” He glanced at Miss Foster. “I’ve also given it a good deal of thought, and I would not want anyone to think I was not being fair-minded and considerate of your feelings and wishes.”

  Joy bubbled in Sarah’s heart. “Oh, William.” She threw her arms around him in a fierce hug. “Thank you!”

  His stiff posture slowly eased, and he patted her shoulder before he stepped back. “I am not giving you permission to become engaged to Mr. Dalton. I don’t believe either of us knows him well enough to make that decision yet.”

  “Oh, I’m sure once you spend time with Clark you’ll see what a wonderful man he is.”

  “Yes, but we need to be cautious and certain of his character before there can be any agreement about the future.”

  Sarah pressed her lips together, barely able to keep her smile at bay. “Very well. I do so want your approval and blessing. I’m willing to wait.”

  “Miss Foster, you have been very quiet. I’m sure you have an opinion about Mr. Dalton that you’d like to share.” There was a hint of challenge in his voice.

  She glanced at him, looking as though she was carefully weighing her words. “I have only spoken to Mr. Dalton a few times, but Reverend Langford says he is a wise and kind man who has a strong faith.”

  A look of surprise filled William’s eyes. “You spoke to Reverend Langford about this?”

  Sarah hurried to answer. “After Clark made his feelings known to me, I asked Miss Foster to make a few discreet inquiries about him.”

  “I see.” He shifted his gaze back to Julia. “What else did you learn about Mr. Dalton?”

  “People speak well of him in the village. Many admire the way he cares for his widowed mother and his young niece who came into his home after her parents died. He seems well liked by all the staff. Mr. Lawrence says he’s diligent, and he treats those under him with fairness and consideration.”

  William clasped his hands behind his back. “My, you do seem to know quite a bit about him.”

  Sarah smiled. “You can imagine how pleased I was to hear these good reports. Knowing he is so well respected gave me confidence to move ahead.”

  “If you were so confident, why didn’t you come to me?”

  Her smile fell away. “I’m sorry, William. I was afraid you wouldn’t approve, and it would cause a terrible rift between us.”

  “And it did for a time.”

  “But we are past that now. Thank you for reconsidering. It means the world to me.”

  He walked on a few more steps before he spoke. “We must proceed very carefully. I don’t want to stir up a cloud of gossip and put a damper on Katherine’s first season.”

  “No, of course not,” Sarah said.

  “Your actions must be above reproach. There can be no more secret meetings.”

  Sarah nodded.

  “You may write to him,” William continued, “and he may write to you. But you may only see each other a few times each week, with a chaperone. And there will be no final decision until this summer, after we return from London.”

  Conflicting thoughts swirled through Sarah’s mind. Seven months was a long time to wait. What would Clark say? Did he love her enough to submit to William’s plan? What if William had to sell Highland and return to London? What would happen to them then? But an even more important question rose in her mind: Was she ready to give up everything to become Clark’s wife?

  Assurance quickly flooded her heart, and she looked up at her brother. “I understand why you feel it’s important for us to wait, and I hope Clark will agree.”

  “If he truly loves you, then waiting a few months should not be too difficult. It will give him an opportunity to prove he is sincere and eager to do things properly.”

  Sarah smiled at Julia, then turned to her brother. “Thank you, William. I’m grateful. I’ll go and speak to Clark now.”

  “Sarah, would you please wait to see him until after luncheon? Perhaps then Miss Foster can act as your chaperone.” He glanced at Julia.

  “Of course. I’d be happy to.”

  Sarah leaned in and kissed Julia’s cheek. “Thank you,” she whispered, then set off, eager to get home and prepare to see Clark.

  Julia watched Sarah hurry down the path, and relief flowed through her. Seeing Sarah and William come to an agreement about Mr. Dalton made her feel like a heavy weight had been lifted off her heart.

  “You seem pleased,” William said with a slight smile.

  “I am. You’ve made your sister very happy.”

  “I hope we won’t come to regret it.” He watched Sarah disappear around the bend. “If she follows through with this and marries Dalton, she will live a very different life.”

  Julia walked a few more steps. “Yes, but marrying the man she loves will fulfill one of the deepest desires of her heart.”

  “You seem quite idealistic where love and marriage are concerned.”

  “I suppose that’s because I was blessed to grow up in a happy home with parents who truly love each other.”

  “That is a benefit Sarah and I did not enjoy.”

  His admission surprised her. “I’m sorry.”

  “Oh, it’s all right.” He tried to look nonchalant, but she could tell it was a painful admission. “We leaned on each other through the years, and it drew us even closer.”

  She studied his pensive expression. “I think it will be hard for you to let Sarah go, no matter who she marries.”

  He sent her a half sm
ile. “Yes, that’s probably true.”

  “But if she marries Mr. Dalton, at least she’ll stay at Highland, and you can see her often.”

  “If I can get my financial affairs in order and hold on to the estate. And I must so I can continue to provide employment for all the staff, including you, Miss Foster.”

  “I hope so. I’ve grown very fond of the children.” She pictured their faces, and a bittersweet feeling filled her heart. “But if circumstances change, and I must leave Highland, I’m sure the Lord will provide for me and my family in another way.”

  William glanced off toward the distant hills. “I admire you … and your faith.”

  “My faith has very little to do with me and everything to do with my Savior.”

  He cast a curious look her way.

  “What I mean is, the more I understand His character and the promises in His Word, the stronger my faith becomes.”

  “You make it sound so simple—you and Reverend Langford.”

  “Faith is not complex, though living it out in the face of challenging circumstances can be.”

  “I suppose your time in India had a great influence on your faith.”

  “It did, but not because things were always easy. We often faced dark days and very serious trouble.”

  “What kind of trouble?”

  “Opposition from village leaders, superstition, and ignorance—they all made our work difficult.”

  “I had no idea. I always pictured you as victorious at every turn.”

  She shook her head. “Not at all. One time a young girl we rescued was taken away and returned to the temple. That was heartbreaking. Another time we made great sacrifices to help a high-caste Brahman woman when she was ill, yet she and her family remained hardhearted toward the gospel and later looked for ways to destroy our ministry. I cried out to God for justice in both those situations, but the circumstances didn’t change.”

  “How did you hold on to your faith in the face of such disappointments?”

  “God poured out His love and grace in our hearts, and He gave us many promises from His Word to sustain us. As I look back now, I believe my faith was strengthened more in the difficult times than it was when everything was going smoothly.”

  A shadow passed over his face, and pain filled his eyes. “I wouldn’t say my faith has been strengthened by my trials—quite the opposite in fact.”

  “We have a choice to make when trouble comes. We can reach out to God and look to Him for strength and help, or we can doubt His love and purpose and allow our hearts to grow cold. It takes faith to believe that He can and will bring good out of those trials if we will only trust Him.”

  He pondered that for a moment, then nodded. “I’m afraid my faith has not been all it should be.”

  “Realizing you have a need is the first step in the right direction.”

  He nodded. “I believe you’re right.” Warmth filled his eyes as he looked her way. “I appreciate the way you look at life and circumstances through the eyes of faith.”

  Her heart lifted. She smiled up at him, sensing a new level of understanding between them. “Thank you. That’s one of the nicest compliments I have ever received.”

  His grin spread wider, and they walked on together toward Highland.

  Julia left Ann in charge in the nursery and crossed the hall, intending to go to her room and prepare her afternoon lessons for Katherine and Penelope, but the sound of someone running up the stairs stopped her at her door, and she looked to the right.

  Katherine strode into the east wing with her head down and her shoulders sagging.

  “Katherine, is everything all right?”

  Katherine gasped, looked up, and brushed a tear from her blotchy cheek. “No, it’s not, but why would you care?”

  Julia pulled back, stung by the words. But seeing the misery in Katherine’s eyes, she pushed her hurt aside and softened her voice and posture. “My heart goes out to anyone who is in distress.”

  Katherine’s hard expression wavered, and her chin trembled. “We might as well cancel my plans for the season.”

  “Why would you say that?”

  Katherine looked around, obviously debating whether she would continue the conversation.

  With a prayer for grace rising in her heart, Julia reached out and touched Katherine’s arm. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

  Katherine tensed, the struggle evident on her face. Finally, she released a shuddering sigh. “All right.”

  “Shall we go to my room?”

  Katherine nodded and followed Julia. She crossed to the dressing table and sank down on the bench. “I can’t go to London now. Everything is ruined.” Her voice choked off and she lowered her head.

  Concern filled Julia, and she took a handkerchief from the dresser and handed it to Katherine. “I’m glad to listen and help if I can.”

  Katherine sniffed and wiped her cheeks. “I went riding this morning with Margaret Covington. She seemed rather cool toward me, and when I asked her what was wrong, she told me Florence Burns and Elizabeth Tremble say I have deserted all my old friends and I care nothing for them.”

  “Why would she say that?”

  “I suppose I have spent more time with Rosalind Sands and Emily Forester these last few months, but that’s because they’ve both been presented and did the season last year. I thought becoming better acquainted with them would be helpful when I went to London.”

  “But Margaret and your other friends have been hurt by that?”

  Katherine lifted her hands. “I suppose so. But I’m a year older than Florence and Elizabeth. They won’t be presented until next year. It seems natural that I would seek out friends my age or older.”

  “What about Margaret?”

  “She’s also eighteen, and this will be her first season as well. We’ve been good friends all our lives. I can’t believe she would side with Florence and Elizabeth against me.”

  “Perhaps she’s not truly against you.”

  “It certainly seems that way.”

  “I know it’s upsetting to have conflict with friends, but how can that impact your time in London?”

  “Margaret’s mother is very influential. If she feels I’ve snubbed her daughter and our friends, she’ll make sure I’m not invited to the best parties and balls.”

  “But surely there’s time to repair your friendships before the season.”

  “You don’t know Margaret or her mother, and you’ve never done the season.” Katherine brushed away another tear. “You wouldn’t understand.”

  Katherine’s dismissal stung, but Julia let it go. “It’s true I haven’t done the season, but I have faced a similar situation with some friends when I was your age.”

  “I thought you lived in India then.”

  “I did.” Julia waited, hoping she’d piqued Katherine’s interest.

  Katherine looked up. “What happened?”

  Julia sat in the chair opposite Katherine. “When we first arrived in India, we stayed at a large mission station in Bangalore to study the language and adjust to the culture. I met three girls there who were also daughters of missionaries, and we all became good friends.

  “Then our family moved to Kanakapura to set up our clinic and begin our work in the village. My parents felt it was important to wear traditional Indian dress so we would be more easily accepted. That was a challenge for me at first, but I soon adjusted to it and enjoyed it.

  “A few months later, when my friends from Bangalore came to visit, they were surprised to see how I dressed, because they all wore English clothing. It caused quite a stir.”

  “Why should they care how you dress?”

  “They said I was throwing away my heritage and separating myself from them. They also thought I preferred spending time with the Indian girls who attended our Bible classes rather than with them, and they let me know it.”

  “How rude. I hope you told them they ought to pack their bags and go back to Bangalore.
”

  “No, I ran off and cried buckets of tears. My mother came looking for me and patiently listened to my story, but she said I had hurt my friends, and it was up to me to make things right. Of course that stung my pride, and I resisted. But then she shared a poem that helped me see things more clearly.”

  “A poem?”

  “Yes, I don’t remember it all, but the first two lines have stayed with me ever since.” Julia glanced toward the window, and her heart warmed as she recalled the words. “Make new friends, but keep the old, those are silver, these are gold.”

  Katherine’s tense expression eased.

  “You don’t have to choose one set of friends over the other. Every friendship is important. And each friend needs our care and consideration.”

  Katherine wiped her cheeks and sighed. “I’m afraid it’s too late to repair my broken friendships.”

  “You won’t know unless you try. Why don’t you write a note to each one, telling her you’re sorry and explaining how much her friendship means to you?”

  Katherine gazed at Julia and sent her a slight smile. “I suppose I do have a bit of experience with writing letters of apology.”

  Julia nodded and returned her smile. “Yes, you are quite an accomplished letter writer.”

  Julia glanced at her watch as she crossed the nursery. “Hurry, children. Your uncle David will be arriving any minute, and your father wants you downstairs to greet him.”

  Ann quickly finished tying a pink bow in Millie’s hair. “There. Now you look very nice.”

  “Thank you.” Millie smiled into the mirror at her reflection.

  “I don’t see why we must go down.” Andrew tugged at his vest. “Uncle David has never cared much for us.”

  Julia straightened Andrew’s collar. “I’m sure your uncle will be happy to see you.”

  “I don’t think so.” He looked up at Julia, a hint of painful confusion in his eyes.

  She laid a hand on his shoulder. “Be pleasant and respectful.”