The Governess of Highland Hall: A Novel

by Carrie Turansky

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  William could not stand being indoors one more moment. He rose from the card table and strode out of the drawing room.

  Alice hurried after him. “William, wait. We haven’t finished our game.” He clenched his jaw, holding back the retort rising in his throat. He’d had quite enough of silly card games and boring conversations about who would be going to London for the season and what parties and events they would attend. The rain had passed, and the temperature was rising. Perhaps a walk would clear his head and lift his sorry mood.

  Lawrence approached.

  “Please bring me my coat and hat. I’m going for a walk.”

  “Very good, sir.” Lawrence nodded and set off to retrieve them.

  Alice’s golden-brown eyebrows dipped as she glanced toward the front door. “I suppose I could join you. But it looks awfully cold.”

  He wanted some peace and quiet, not a companion. “You’re right. It’s much too cold. There’s no need for you to go with me.”

  “But I can tell you’re upset. Wouldn’t you like a friend to come along?”

  “Alice, I know you mean well, but there are times a man needs room to think and breathe.”

  A wounded look filled her eyes. “I didn’t realize I was preventing you from breathing.”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be rude.” He glanced away, trying to come up with an explanation. “Everything has been in an upheaval since the fire. I’m just not in the mood to socialize.”

  It was more than that, much more, and he knew it. Miss Foster’s leaving had shaken him deeply. Nothing had been the same since she had walked out the door five days ago.

  Sarah had been hurt and hinted he was to blame. Katherine and Penelope, who had never wanted a governess, were now complaining that they would not be ready for the season without Miss Foster’s help. Andrew had gotten into mischief several times and driven the poor nursery maid to tears. Millie had woken up with nightmares twice, and today she had a stomachache and was not able to eat anything. As for William himself, he had a nagging headache that would not leave, and he could barely force down his meals.

  The only one who seemed unaffected was Mrs. Emmitt, who assured him they would find a new governess within the week, though she had not brought him one candidate.

  But Miss Foster’s departure was not his only problem. Time was running out to resolve his financial issues. With his brother’s refusal to buy out his interest in the London house and the need to repair the fire-ravaged east wing, there seemed little choice but to at least consider the possibility of marriage to Alice Drexel. There might be no other way to save Highland. He clenched his jaw and tried to push away the uneasy feeling tightening his chest.

  Lawrence returned with William’s coat and helped him put it on. Then he handed William his hat and gloves. “Will there be anything else, sir?”

  Alice looked at William with a slight smile and a question in her eyes. She would be leaving for Bristol in a week and half. Was that enough time to make such an important decision? He’d never know unless he opened himself up to the possibility. He tugged on his glove and nodded. “Please bring Miss Drexel’s coat as well.”

  Her smile warmed. “Thank you, William. I’m sure a brisk walk is just what we need.”

  William swallowed a sigh. It would take more than a jaunt across the park with Alice Drexel to ease his troubled mind.

  Julia dipped her hands in the hot, soapy water and wiped the mixing bowl clean. A crackling fire burned in the wood stove, sending cheerful warmth into her parents’ cozy kitchen. The tempting scent of meat pies and steaming applesauce hung in the air, promising a good supper.

  Her father stepped into the kitchen. “I’m sorry, but here’s another cup to wash.”

  “I don’t mind.” She looked over her shoulder, and her heart lifted. His color had improved, and his face looked fuller under his neatly clipped silver beard. “How are you feeling, Father?”

  “Better all the time.” His eyes shone as he handed her the cup.

  “I’m so glad.” Julia had slipped back into her role as dutiful daughter, assisting her mother with cooking and cleaning as well as answering correspondence and discussing Scripture with her father. It was as if nothing had changed, and yet everything was different.

  Her time at Highland and, more important, her love for William and the children had changed everything.

  She forced those thoughts away and focused on scrubbing the tea stains from the cup. If she wanted her wounded heart to heal, then she must keep a check on her thoughts and emotions. But that was not an easy task.

  Her mother entered the kitchen carrying an envelope and sniffed the air. “My, it smells wonderful in here.”

  “The meat pies should be done soon.” Julia wrung out the dishcloth and hung it on the hook. She glanced out the window at the fading light, and her thoughts drifted back to Highland once more.

  “What are you thinking about, my dear?” Mother’s gentle voice stirred Julia from her thoughts.

  She turned and forced a slight smile. “How glad I am to see Father so much improved.” She had been thinking that only moments before, and she hoped the Lord wouldn’t mind her keeping her thoughts about William to herself.

  Father smiled. “It’s an unexpected blessing.”

  Mother’s eyes grew misty. “One we’re very grateful to receive.” She shifted her gaze to Julia, and a shadow crossed her expression. “But I’m worried about you, Julia.”

  “I’ll be fine, Mother.” Julia reached for a towel and dried her hands. “I just need time to adjust to … the changes.”

  Her father and mother exchanged a concerned glance, then her mother sat down and opened the envelope.

  Julia laid the towel aside. “Who is the letter from?”

  “Your aunt Beatrice.” Mother read the first few words and then gasped.

  “What is it, Mary?” Father’s silver eyebrows rose.

  “The issues with my father’s will have been resolved, and we are all going to receive a portion of the inheritance.”

  “Really?” Julia crossed to her mother’s side and looked over her shoulder.

  Mother read the letter aloud, and when she came to the section listing the amounts that were to be given to each of them, her mother and Father exchanged stunned looks.

  “But how can it be true?” Julia sank down in the chair next to her mother. “I thought Grandfather cut off all connection with you and Father when you married.”

  “He did, and he drew up a will that left me out. But he must have regretted it later and changed his will to include us.”

  “When we visited Grandmother, she said they didn’t expect to be able to help us financially.”

  Her mother turned the letter over and scanned the rest of the message on the back. “She says there were legal questions that needed to be resolved first, and she didn’t want to raise false hopes.”

  Father chuckled. “I think she wanted to be sure she approved of you all before she released the money.”

  “Now, Phillip. You mustn’t speak ill of my mother.”

  “You’re right, dear. This is a wonderful blessing, and I’m very grateful.” Father rose from his chair. “Our needs will be met now, and Julia will be freed from her duty to work and support us.” He smiled at Julia. “And best of all, it will allow you to return to India and resume our work.”

  Mother’s eyes brightened. “And you won’t have to wait to raise the funds, you have what you need. In fact, you’ll have more than enough for the rest of your life, if you’re wise and you manage it well.”

  Julia stared at them, still trying to take it in. With this money she would be a free and independent woman. She could go where she wanted and do whatever she pleased. But as she pondered that thought, her heart sank. The only place she truly wanted to go was back to Highland, but she could never go there again.

  Father studied her, and his expression sobered. “What’s wrong, Julia?”


  “I’m thankful we won’t have to worry about our financial needs, but I’m not certain about returning to India.”

  “What makes you hesitate?” Father asked.

  “I do love our friends there, and the work is very fulfilling, but …” Julia bit her lip and looked down at her clasped hands. She had told her parents why she’d left Highland, but she had only hinted at her true feelings for William. Perhaps it was time to be totally honest with them. “I’m afraid my heart is still with those I care for at Highland.”

  Father’s brow creased and he crossed his arms. “I’d like to tell Sir William Ramsey what I think of the way he treated you.”

  Mother laid her hand on his shoulder. “Now, Phillip, don’t say anything you’ll regret.”

  “I’m glad you left,” Father continued. “Knowing he would let you go to save his estate makes me certain he is not worthy of you.”

  “Please, Father, he doesn’t know how much I care for him, and it’s much more complicated than that.”

  “It doesn’t seem complicated to me. If he were an honorable man who knew what was most important, he would value your godly character and realize you are a treasure worth far more than a thousand Highlands.”

  His words soothed her heart, and she leaned over and kissed his forehead. “I know you love me, but you see things from the perspective of a protective father, not as Sir William sees them. You must give him the benefit of the doubt and forgive him as I have.”

  Father sat back and released a sigh. “I suppose you’re right, but it’s not easy when I can see how much he hurt you.”

  “That was not his intention. I’m sure of it.”

  Mother watched Julia closely. “If he had asked you to stay, what would your answer have been?”

  The question cut Julia to the heart, and she looked away. “He did not ask, so there’s no point in answering.”

  “But if you were given the choice between returning to India or staying here and marrying Sir William, what would you choose?”

  Her throat swelled. “Of course I would stay,” she whispered. “But it’s foolish to even speak of it. That door is closed.” She straightened her shoulders. “I must make new plans, and receiving this inheritance seems to indicate I should return to India.”

  Father nodded. “Very good, my dear. I quite agree.”

  But a loving look of concern clouded her mother’s eyes.

  TWENTY-NINE

  William slipped his hand into his jacket pocket and felt the small velvet ring box hidden there. He’d carried it with him for the last three days, but he hadn’t found the right moment to speak to Alice. He huffed and shook his head. That wasn’t true. There had been plenty of opportunities. The real issue was he lacked the conviction to make a declaration of love and ask Alice to become his wife.

  He strode downstairs and into the great hall to await his dinner guests. Tugging at the neck of his shirt, he loosened his white tie a bit. Lord and Lady Gatewood and Alice would be arriving soon. Alice would be leaving for Bristol tomorrow morning on the nine o’clock train, and Sarah had planned this farewell dinner in her honor.

  If he was going to propose, it would have to be tonight. How he wished his heart were in it.

  Sarah and Dalton walked into the great hall from the dining room.

  Dalton nodded to him. “Good evening, sir.”

  “Dalton.” William returned the nod.

  “Clark brought in some lovely roses for the table.” Sarah smiled at the gardener, her eyes shining.

  “Thank you,” William said.

  Dalton’s warm gaze remained on Sarah. “I hope you’ll enjoy them.”

  “I’m sure we will,” she added.

  William watched them, wishing he understood how they could be so happy and comfortable together. It seemed as though they had known each other for years rather than months. Would he and Alice develop a strong bond and grow to love each other in that same way? Doubt flooded him, and his face fell into a brooding frown.

  Sarah turned to him. “William, what’s wrong?”

  He rubbed his forehead and sighed. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to cast a pall on the evening. I’m just not myself tonight.”

  Sarah exchanged a glance with Dalton. When she looked back at William, he could easily read the worry in her eyes.

  “All right, not just tonight.” William sighed. “Go ahead. Say what’s on your mind.”

  Sarah clasped her hands. “All right, I will. You’ve been in a dreadful mood since Julia left, yet you refuse to discuss it.”

  “What is there to discuss?”

  “She was more than a member of the staff. She was my friend, and she was a good friend to you as well.”

  “Friend?” He huffed and shook his head. “I don’t think so. What kind of friend deserts you at the first opportunity?”

  Sarah started to reply, but William held up his hand. “I have no desire to discuss anyone who is so disloyal.”

  Sarah’s eyes flashed. “William, that is not true, and you know it.”

  “What else would you call someone who leaves without notice or explanation? She gave no thought to how that would hurt those she left behind.”

  He had taken Julia into his confidence and shared his private struggles, even telling her about his wife’s unfaithfulness and how that had almost destroyed him. And what was his reward? She had marched out the door without a backward glance. His heart still ached because of her decision, but he pushed those feelings away and set his mouth in a firm line.

  “She left because she thought it was best for you.” Sorrow filled Sarah’s voice.

  “How could it be best to run off like that? I trusted her, but she let me down in the worst way.”

  Dalton’s face flushed, and he looked as though he would burst.

  Sarah turned to Dalton. “If you won’t tell him, I will.”

  “Go ahead. You didn’t promise her your silence.”

  Sarah focused on William again. “Julia left because she loves you.”

  William pulled back, certain he had not heard her correctly. “What?”

  “She loves you, William, with all her heart. And I can’t believe you could be so blind that you didn’t see it.”

  “But she never said …”

  “Of course not. What do you expect her to do? Pour out her heart and beg you to marry her?”

  “No, but why would she go then?”

  “She was convinced if she stayed she would be a distraction and prevent you from proposing to Alice and saving Highland.”

  William stared at Sarah, while he struggled to piece that information together.

  “Was she right? Do you want to marry Alice?”

  William searched his heart, still seeking an answer. “I thought I could for the sake of the estate, but how honorable would it be to propose marriage to Alice when my main reason would be to benefit from her fortune?” The truth became clear. He shook his head, disgusted with what he had almost done. “That was Father’s goal when he arranged my marriage to Amelia, and look at what that did to us.”

  “So what will you do, William?” Sarah watched him closely. “Is holding on to this house and estate what truly matters most to you?”

  William’s gaze traveled around the great hall. He lifted his eyes to the ceiling arched high overhead, and his sister’s question echoed through his mind. He had only lived at Highland a short time, but it represented the history and prestige of his family. Becoming baronet and master of Highland had helped him regain some of the self-respect he’d lost when his wife betrayed him, but—

  “If you ask me,” Sarah continued, “inheriting Highland has proven to be more of a burden than a blessing, especially since it separates you from those you love. And I believe you do love Julia. If you didn’t, her leaving would not have hurt you as much as it did.”

  The truth of Sarah’s statement sank into his heart, but the question remained. Was he willing to give up Highland? Could he let it all go for the one he
loved?

  Julia kissed her mother’s soft cheek, and the fragrance of lavender floated around her, bringing back pleasant memories. Then she leaned into to her father’s strong embrace. Closing her eyes, she pressed her face against his warm wool sweater and lingered a moment. Oh, how much she loved them, how much she would miss them.

  “Are you sure you don’t want us to go to the station with you?” Mother clasped her hands together, looking close to tears.

  Julia pressed down her own emotions, looked in the mirror by the door, and adjusted her hat. “There’s no need for you to wait out on that cold platform. I’d rather say good-bye here at the house.”

  Her father took her hands in his. “You can still change your mind, you know. I don’t want you going back to India just to please us.”

  Julia swallowed, her determination wavering. Her travel arrangements had come together so quickly it seemed a confirmation that this was the right path. Still, her heart ached at the thought of leaving England and all those she loved.

  She reached for her handbag. “The decision is made. I’m packed and ready to go.”

  “We’ll follow as soon as we can.” Father’s voice was strong, but the confidence in his eyes wavered slightly.

  Julia nodded and forced a smile, but she knew the future was uncertain for her parents. Dr. Hadley didn’t believe her father was strong enough to travel overseas or work in a tropical climate, and he might never be.

  “Mr. and Mrs. Wilson will meet your train in Southampton.” Mother followed her to the door. “They’ll take good care of you and help you board the ship on Thursday.”

  Julia nodded and looked into her mother’s eyes.

  Mother lifted her hand and touched Julia’s cheek. “We love you, my dear, so very much.”

  “And I love you.” She swallowed and forced out her words. “Now I must go, or I’ll miss my train.” Then she turned away before they could see her tears and hurried out the door. “Good-bye. I’ll see you soon.”

  “Good-bye,” her parents called as they watched from the cottage doorway.

  Their neighbor Hiram Johnson had loaded her trunk onto the back of his wagon with the help of his son. Mr. Johnson nodded to her and offered her a hand. She stepped up and took a seat on the wooden bench at the front of the wagon.