Right Now

by Marie Hall

  For the record, he didn’t.

  Chapter 13

  Alex

  “Sit still.” Zoe laughed.

  I couldn’t help squirming, especially when she was rubbing alcohol across my nipples. “And how exactly is this supposed to get my mind off getting you in my bed?” I reached out, trying to pinch her delectable bum. But she slipped out of my hand, so I made a grab for her bronzed and toned mile-long legs that her blue-jean booty shorts failed to cover.

  She swatted my hand and walked around the kidney-bean-shaped coffee table in her living room. My gray UT work-out shirt looked good on her. Wasn’t much that didn’t look good on Zoe, and I especially liked the way she’d cut the ribbed collar off and shortened the hemline of my shirt by a good five inches, turning it into a belly shirt, making sure I’d never wear the thing again. But it did make all the gorgeous flowers trailing along her belly play hide-and-go-seek.

  It was a Friday night, and by some miracle we’d gotten our schedules to align. The guys at work ribbed me for the fact that I was whipped, and yes, they were right. After a month together, I was beginning to rethink my whole stance on monogamy. Particularly that it wasn’t tantamount to a death sentence so long as it was with her.

  I’d never had fun with the same girl for more than a day, a week max. Ever.

  But with Zoe I felt like I was constantly learning new and interesting things about her. She was sexy and fun and I wasn’t bored.

  Her laughter shivered across my heated flesh and made me suck in my stomach, especially when she took hold of my left nipple.

  “Stop being such a baby, vanilla. And believe me, in two seconds you’re going to forget all about wanting to get me in bed, though I wish you wouldn’t. Now.” She leaned in close, the tip of her pink tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth as she concentrated on where to mark me.

  “Zo,” I said, suddenly rethinking this nipple piercing. She’d sort of joked about it during dinner tonight and I’d felt a little too brave, especially after the third glass of sake, but now I wasn’t so sure I was ready to add more metal to my body.

  She kissed me, silencing all my fears with that electric tongue of hers that never failed to make my blood sing and my body hum like a tuning fork, then gazed at me with warm-honey eyes and gave me a gentle smile.

  “Babe, if you don’t want to, we don’t have to.”

  I clenched my jaw, not wanting to look like a punk in front of her. Getting to know Zoe, I’d discovered she loved metal and would probably like to see more on me. She was constantly flicking and toying with my lip ring. “You really like these things, huh?”

  “Mmhhmm.”

  “And it doesn’t make me look like some candy-ass by doing this? Isn’t this the kiss of death or something for relationships?”

  She laughed again. “That’s a name tattoo. But, like I said, no pressure. Even though I totally think it’s hot and sexy.” She traced the very edge of my nipple with her forefinger and bit her bottom lip, making my heart jackhammer in my chest.

  Why was I trying to be sexy for her? We weren’t even getting past second base anymore. It was weird because I was suddenly beginning to experience stage fright at the thought of it. Not because I thought my skills were lacking, but because I’d been reexamining past behavior and had realized I didn’t want Zoe grouped in the before Alex realized that banging one girl after another wasn’t the answer to making him forget who he was category.

  I grabbed the half-empty bottle of sake and took a long swig of it, enough to make my throat burn, before I huffed and nodded. “Then do it.”

  “My mom would crap a brick seeing you drink rice wine that way,” she said, but there was no heat behind the words. “Okay, babe, one… two…”

  She didn’t say three, she didn’t say bite down on something, but before I knew it she had the needle and was pushing it through my nipple, and it was like someone was taking a red-hot poker and shoving it through my muscle.

  I made a weird noise in the back of my throat when she looped the metal together.

  “You okay?”

  I bit my lip and nodded, fighting my natural inclination to puke from the pain, running my tongue over the metal of my lip ring a few times. “Yup,” I said, manning up.

  She just snorted. “You ready for the second one?”

  Not trusting myself to speak, I just nodded. Be opposite—it was the running mantra in my head since the night I’d met her. This wasn’t just about me trying to please her either, it was me trying to find me again.

  “You sure?” Her hand trailed across to my right side.

  “Do it.”

  But instead of taking the alcohol swab in hand, she leaned into me. Entangling our legs together, she straddled my lap and I toyed with the dainty golden anklet above her foot.

  “We can stop, you know.” She brushed her fingers through my hair. “You don’t have to do this to make me want you. I already do.”

  Her smile was sure and strong and it would be nothing for me to undo the top button of her shorts. I remembered our one night, the butterfly she had poised right at her hip looking as if it were ready to take flight. It was beautiful; she was beautiful.

  Touching our foreheads together, I rubbed the back of her head. “I want to, Misaki. It hurts, more than I want to admit to you, but I’m not just doing this for you.”

  Continuing to strum her fingers along my abs, she feathered kisses along the bridge of my nose. “Then why? Why are you doing this?”

  There were so many answers. Because my life felt like it was out of control. Because I was lost and wanted to feel again. Because I couldn’t remember who I was anymore. What I was. But I couldn’t tell her any of those things without taking it deeper.

  “Because I want to.”

  Our breaths mingled for a minute. Hers was minty against my lips.

  “Then that’s good enough for me. But tell me this, Alex.”

  “Hmm?”

  “Will you be my guinea pig? Become my first living canvas? Ryko’s been training me a few years now, and I think I might be ready to try out my first tattoo, but I want to do it on someone…” Her lips twisted into a smile. “…special.”

  “Why, darlin’…” I put on my best southern drawl. “Are you proposin’ to me?”

  “Ha!” She slapped my chest. “You wish, cowboy.”

  “I think you did.”

  “Didn’t.”

  Tickling her ribs, making her laugh, I proceeded to tuck her body beneath mine on her wild zebra-striped carpet. I stretched out on top of her, trapping her legs underneath me. “Oh, you did. You totally did.”

  The sharp planes of her face were flushed a pretty pink, and as she stared at me, her bee-stung lips pouting prettily, my body tightened. Need thundered and rolled and the moment became suddenly fraught with tension. I sensed her desire as strongly as my own. There was no laughter anymore; everything was eerily quiet except for our steady breathing. I was aware of her breasts pushing into my chest, the shapely curve of her thigh so snug and perfect against my own.

  She tilted her jaw up just slightly, a subtle invitation for more. A green light to make things happen.

  Her fingers were digging like tiny claws into my back and I read the question in her eyes. I wanted to so bad, everything inside me screamed to go for it. To lean in, take her lips, and peel what scant clothes she had on off, but I couldn’t. Because this was Zoe and when it happened again I wanted it to really mean something. I wanted it to be more than rolling on her carpet, pawing at her like she was just another one of the nameless faces in my past.

  Crawling off her, I shook my head and she groaned, then slapped her fist against the wood flooring. “I hate you,” she growled and sat up. Drawing one knee to her chest, she eyed me hard and ran her fingers through her messy hair, which made her look wild and sexy. I had to squeeze my eyes shut because the image of her that way would weaken my resolve.

  “We both know that’s not true.” I grinned, but ther
e was no joy behind it. I was feeling a lot like a lifeboat adrift, completely lost and clueless and unsure of myself, where before I used to know exactly what I wanted, including when and how.

  Frustrated, I leaned against the couch. “Let’s finish this, Zo.”

  Jutting out her lower jaw, she grabbed a new baggie with a clean needle off the sofa and tore the packet open. “Pass me a swab.”

  She sounded grumpy with me and I didn’t know what to do other than to pass her the swab. Zoe wasn’t as gentle with the next piercing. But she did kiss me when she finished, and that was something.

  ~*~

  “And how long have you known the Stones?” A woman dressed in a knee-length sequined black dress chatted with me politely as she delicately sipped from her long-stemmed wine glass, leaving a red lipstick imprint behind.

  “Not long, ma’am.” I tugged on my too-tight collar.

  “And what is it that you do exactly?”

  Fifth time today, seriously, that same question had been asked. Swallowing the sarcasm, I pinched out a smile. “I work at Chai Time.”

  “Chai Time?” Her Botox-injected face tried to make a pucker, but instead it was a weird full-face dip. “And what is that again?”

  Again. As if she’d asked before. “It’s a coffee shop, ma’am.” If I had to age the woman I’d say maybe late-thirties, but her stylish silver-blond hair and miniature crow’s-feet made me think that maybe she was just a cougar who looked really good for her age.

  “Oh.” The disdain dripped off her tongue. All the other women had reacted the same way. “Oh look, there’s Lucy, and isn’t she just dressed divine?” She squealed and without so much as a la-de-da, she was gone.

  When she left, all I could think was… how in the hell had I found myself here? I was currently standing under a large oak on the greenest grass I’d ever seen outside of a golf course. The sun was setting slowly along the bank of the massive pond, tossing a colorful veil of orange and red along the horizon. I was chatting with people I didn’t know who probably thought I was no better than street trash.

  It’d been two and a half weeks since Zoe pierced me. The piercings had gone from painful to now itchy as hell. Ryan had pretended he was going to yank them out of me the first time he’d seen them.

  Scratching my chest, I leaned against the base of the large oak. This was the weekend of her mom’s intimate get-together. Yeah, this felt about as intimate as a Roman orgy. There were easily over a hundred people here, all dressed in their Sunday best, and I didn’t recognize anyone.

  The women wore dresses that fell to their knees in colorful swaths, walking around with mint juleps and wearing the types of hats you usually only saw at the Kentucky Derby. The men were like a throwback to the Great Gatsby era with their white vests and pocket watches. I was definitely out of my element.

  At first I’d followed Zoe around, but after a while I’d started to feel like a tagalong, so I ventured off on my own, hoping at least to bump into Obasaan, the only one of Zoe’s family who I didn’t think hated my guts.

  I fingered the ring in my lip as I finally spotted Zo. She was standing on the verandah talking to a guy I’d seen hanging around her a lot today. Tall and dark-haired, he was dressed in khakis, a sweater vest, and loafers, and looked like just the kind of guy her parents would chomp at the bit to make their son-in-law.

  She laughed at something he said and patted his chest and I clenched my jaw, wishing like hell I hadn’t come tonight. I was feeling like a complete jackass and lamenting the fact that I hadn’t brought my truck.

  “Screw it,” I muttered and moved closer to the pond, farther from the mob behind me, tired of moping and whining. I’d said I’d bring her, I’d brought her, and I was going to stay until the night was over, whether I wanted to or not.

  I’m not sure how long I’d been standing there when I finally got the feeling someone was watching me.

  “Hey, sexy.” Zoe’s voice interrupted my churlish thoughts.

  I sighed. “Hey.”

  She pouted prettily. Everything about her was pretty. She was dressed just like all the other women here, but on her it somehow looked a little more real, less showy. Even though she was dressed in a bright orange day dress and a wide-brimmed, navy blue straw hat, she managed to pull it off effortlessly. The way she was styled, you’d be hard-pressed to find any tattoos. Over her dress, she wore a long-sleeved, crocheted top in navy blue, which covered her up pretty well.

  It had never dawned on me before, but Zoe had mastered the art of fitting in. Apart from the three tiny stars on her face, which she’d covered up with her bangs, you’d never think she was as different from those around her as night from day.

  I tugged on the sleeves of my borrowed tweed jacket. Why was I wearing it? Because Kaori had taken one look at my short-sleeved white shirt and red tie and deemed me unsuitable. She’d gotten their maid (and yes, they had a freaking maid) get one from Thomas’s closet. And no offense to the guy, but I was a good four inches taller than him so the sleeves definitely didn’t fit. I looked like an idiot and I knew it.

  “How come you’re out here by yourself?”

  I took another sip of my lemonade. “I’m not alone; the ducks are keeping me company. Quack, quack.” I gestured toward the family of ducks gliding along the lake’s surface.

  “Alex.” She twisted her lips.

  “Though I was cornered by Colonel Sanders a minute ago, so I haven’t entirely been ignored by the crowd.”

  Lip stretching tight as if she was fighting a laugh, she sighed. “Babe, I hate these things too.”

  “Where’s Grandma today? I looked for her,” I said, ignoring the entreaty in her voice.

  “Obasaan didn’t feel good, so she didn’t come.” She shrugged. “But actually I think that was really a lie. She hates these things as much as I do.”

  “You seem to be enjoying yourself; I saw you back there laughing with that guy.”

  “Who?” She peeked over her shoulder and then laughed. “You mean Daniel?”

  I rolled my eyes, knowing I was acting a lot like a baby, but there was a headache starting to pound at the base of my skull and I just didn’t care right now.

  “Daniel is just a friend. You don’t have to be jealous.” She smiled.

  “I’m not.” I grimaced because that was a total lie.

  “Babe, Daniel is one hundred percent certifiably gay. He was just asking me questions about my job. That’s all.” She tickled my ribs and I jerked away.

  Feeling stupid and whiny and slightly embarrassed, I just shook my head. “Wasn’t jealous.”

  “Whatever you say, cowboy. How come you disappeared on me?”

  “I don’t want to cling to you, Zoe. I know how frustrating that can be. But I’m fine, really.”

  Her lips quirked.

  Finding another tree to rest against, I shrugged. “Zo, really. You should head back in there with your clan. I just needed a mini-break from the barrage of ‘are you single’ questions from the clucking hens.”

  Licking her front teeth, she wiggled herself against my body, forcing me to wrap my arms around her waist.

  “Hmm. And just what was your answer, cowboy? You with your model looks and blond hair, blue, blue eyes…”

  She ran her fingers along my jawline and immediately I got hard.

  “I bet you just made them drool back there imagining those grandbabies.”

  I shuddered. “Gah, you had to go there.”

  She laughed and stretched up on her toes, then brushed her lips over mine softly, over and over again, flicking her tongue like a moth’s wing along my bottom lip, until finally a hard growl tore from my throat.

  “I said I belonged to a little Asian woman who could probably kick my ass and theirs too if they didn’t stop trying to marry me off to the first eligible bachelorette.”

  “Oh my God.” She laughed. “You didn’t.”

  I wiggled my brows. “If you don’t get invited to next year’s Christmas
soiree, you know why.”

  She slapped a palm over my heart, and before she could pull away, I yanked her back, startling her.

  “Alex?” she whispered.

  But I was tired and angry and staying away from Zoe wasn’t doing me any good. I wanted her with a fire that consumed. I was annoyed being here, irritated that I kept this self-imposed ridiculous notion of not having sex with her still firmly in place, and I just wanted a second alone with my girl. I didn’t want to be around a crowd full of people who looked at me with disgust, who said with as few words as possible that I didn’t belong in their world and never would.

  “Young man.” A hard voice interrupted us.

  I closed my eyes, but Zoe was a bit more vocal. She whirled on her heel. “Dad?”

  Thomas merely stared at us, blue eyes full of scorn and with the same disdain I’d been faced with the past two hours.

  “I’d like to talk with you in private, son,” he said without preamble.

  This was Zoe’s dad, so I swallowed my irritation and simply nodded. This wasn’t like the last time when she and I weren’t dating and it’d been okay to flirt and tease and act stupid in front of them. Now I cared about their daughter and I just wanted them to see that.

  “Dad, seriously, can’t you just—”

  “No, Misaki, I cannot.” He turned to her, his perfectly coifed hair barely moving as he started back toward what I dubbed Scarlett O’Hara’s plantation home.

  I wasn’t gonna lie, the place freaked me out with all its old-world antebellum columns and wraparound porches and white shutters. It was as ostentatious as Zoe was not. It was also a giant slap in the face, just another reminder that she and I were complete and total opposites.

  “I guess he wants me to follow.” I leaned into her as I watched Thomas climb the steps that led into the foyer of their mini-mansion.

  Stopping, he turned and lifted a brow, then gave me a look that had probably set a few pulses pounding in the boardroom.

  “Alex, I’m sorry.” She side-hugged me. “I’ve been watching you. I know this is torture for you. Don’t let him treat you bad, because no matter what he says to you, I make my own choices.”