Chucklers: Laughter is Contagious

by Jeff Brackett

  Erica nodded. The way he explained it, it was just a logical progression. One that made perfect sense from their perspective. She said as much. “Besides, considering what we’ve all seen going on out there, maybe the loonies on TV weren’t so crazy after all.”

  Linton only grunted at that.

  Erica was willing to let the conversation die for a bit. Matt was lost in his own thoughts, undoubtedly thinking about whatever he had encountered in his own home with his family. She hadn’t asked him about it… didn’t figure it was any of her business. He would talk about it when and if he felt like it.

  Linton and Michelle were evidently exhausted and fell asleep in the back seat. She thought about them; a man who was so committed to his wife that he would remove his own mask to share in whatever fate awaited her. Erica wondered if she and Ross could ever find anything close to that level of commitment.

  Then she wondered again if he was even alive.

  She drove in silence for a while, winding through the few wrecks without much trouble for another twenty minutes. The route Linton and Michelle had proposed seemed to have been spared most of the carnage they had seen toward Houston’s inner city. But that wasn’t to say there wasn’t other damage. Off to the left, smoke and flames billowed from a storage tank at a small oil refinery. Erica recalled that the area south of Houston was well known for its oil processing plants and storage facilities. This was evidently one of them. A strong northern breeze blew most of the smoke away from them, but the smell still permeated the air.

  The farther they drove, the less she smelled the burning oil, and the more prominent the smell of salt water became, and as she took the Highway 146 exit, the terrain changed as well. As they rounded a small copse of trees and scrub turning northward, the path suddenly opened up before them. The evening sun glistened off water to the right, and the freeway turned into a huge bridge. There were still a few wrecks, but only a few.

  Seagulls spiraled about in the air above, drawing Erica’s attention to the giant triangular structures that held dozens of inches-wide steel cables, suspending the bridge above the water. Her mind boggled at the engineering involved in keeping the massive ribbon of concrete and steel floating magically over the water below. To her mind, it was akin to a person lifting themselves into the air by pulling on their own shoe laces.

  They reached the apex of the bridge when Matt drew her attention to the right. “Look at that.”

  “That” was the largest cruise ship Erica had ever seen. She looked in the mirrors out of habit, then pulled the Xterra to a stop in the middle of the road.

  Stopping the vehicle woke Linton and Michelle, and as they looked around to see what had caught Erica’s and Matt’s attention, Linton whistled. Then he repeated the same words Matt had used as he had pulled up beside the gas-mask-clad chuckler. “Now there’s something you don’t see every day.”

  Chapter 78

  Charles Griffe

  Meet Fred Hartman

  They made it to the cabin without incident, and everyone was visibly relieved to be back behind a locked door.

  “So what’s your plan?” Tabby asked. “We’re on the wrong deck for the lifeboats, and…” she looked at her watch, “…we have somewhere around twenty minutes to get off the ship.”

  “It’s worse than that.”

  “What?”

  “From what I saw outside, we’re almost in the Ship Channel. Hell, by now, we probably are in it.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yeah. We gotta get off this ship right away.”

  Tabby licked her lips nervously. “So what’s your great idea, then?”

  “Go open the balcony and look down.”

  Tabby just looked at him for a second, then shook her head. “You’re not serious.”

  “Yes, I am. This cabin is directly over one of the life boats. I remember seeing it when we first got here.”

  She looked at the group of misfits. “You can’t expect this bunch to drop over the railing like we did. They’ll never make it.”

  “They won’t have to. When I say we’re right over one of the lifeboats, I mean we’re right over one of the lifeboats. As in, about half the distance we had to climb to earlier.”

  He led her onto the balcony, and they leaned over the rail. She nodded. “Nice.”

  They went back in and called everyone together.

  “We have a plan,” Charlie told them. “We’re going to climb over the rail on the balcony and directly onto the lifeboat below.” There was immediate muttering and Charlie held up his hands. “It’s only about a five-foot drop. I’ll go first to help everyone else. The only thing we need to worry about is keeping quiet so we don’t attract any attention from the crazies up at the front.”

  More muttering, and Charlie hissed at them. “Look, I get that you’re scared. But our situation is really simple.” He walked over to the balcony door and pulled the curtain aside. Sure enough, there was land drifting past outside. “We only have a few minutes before Chris said we were going to hit that bridge. Now, I don’t know what’s going to happen when we hit, but I’m not planning to wait around and find out. You want to stay and take your chances? Well, be my guest. But I’m getting the hell off of this train wreck.”

  With that said, he stepped onto the balcony and looked at the shoreline as the Bahama Queen slipped through the water. He moved over to the rail and looked over the side at the bright yellow top of the life boat below. It looked so close that he was tempted to simply jump over the rail, but knew that the sound of his impact might be loud enough to attract some very unwanted attention.

  He turned to find Felicia beside him. “I’m scared, Charlie.”

  “Me, too. We just need to get off this ship and head back home.” He pulled her in for a quick kiss on her forehead. “Leave this damned nightmare behind us. Right?”

  She nodded.

  They were interrupted as Tabby stepped onto the balcony. “You ready?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Got your knife on you?”

  Remembering the crowd of crazies at the front entrance, Charlie quickly checked to make sure the chef’s knife was securely tucked into his belt. “Got it.”

  Some of the other members of the group stepped out with them. Tabby was in the front, and she held out a large piece of white cloth. He recognized the bed sheet and raised an eyebrow. “It’ll help you set down quietly.”

  “Good idea,” he conceded.

  He took a deep breath, then, as he had twice before now, swung his leg over the balcony railing. Tabby held his left hand, helping him to balance as he took hold of one end of the sheet. “All right. Let’s do this.”

  Tabby, Merl, Celina, Carlos, and Felicia pulled back on the sheet and he stepped back off the lip of the balcony and slid down to lightly step onto the yellow rooftop. He looked carefully up and down the jogging track, paying special attention up toward the front entrance where he had seen the crowd.

  They were roughly a football field’s length back from where the music still reverberated through the air, and so far, he hadn’t actually seen anyone. They were evidently still concentrated around the corner, in the fitness area. But with it being an open-air gym, that could change at any moment. Seeing everything was still clear, he looked up to see Tabby, Felicia, and Merl looking over the rail at him. He nodded and gave them a thumbs up, and Merl came down next. Charlie helped the older man from below, while much of his weight was supported by the others on the sheet above. Celina came down next, easily aided by Charlie and Merl. She hugged her husband, then turned and glared at Charlie.

  I don’t think the old cow likes you very much, boy.

  Charlie gritted his teeth, and once more looked up toward the front of the ship. Still no indication they’d been spotted. He looked back up to see the next person coming down. He whispered to Merl, “You got this? I need to figure out how to get us loose.”

  The old man nodded, and Charlie left him and his wife to help the others down while
he went to examine the rig that secured the life boat to the ship. Once more checking up and down the jogging track, Charlie slipped off the roof of the boat and onto the catwalk that led from the front lifeboat entrance to the ship. Above the door in bold black lettering were the words 410 PERS. RESCUE VESSEL. There was some kind of assembly consisting of some large metal hooks, pins, and levers holding the life boat in place. The lever was firmly in the LOCKED position. He looked up and saw a cable suspension system that held the lifeboat up. There was a second cable on the other end of the boat. He didn’t know yet how to operate the lifeboat, but he knew they weren’t going anywhere as long as the thing was locked to the Bahama Queen. He eased the lever smoothly and quietly up to the UNLOCKED indicator.

  Turning, he opened the door into the lifeboat, intending to cross over to the other side and examine the corresponding assembly over there. But as he entered the lifeboat, he stopped for a second at the sight before him. The interior of the thing was huge. Four entry doors across the wall facing the ship, two levels of seats, and a pilot’s station raised up in the front. It reminded him more of a small ferryboat than a lifeboat. He shook off his surprise and stepped quickly across to the pilot’s station.

  At first glance, it looked incredibly complex. A single seat was nestled before a computer screen surrounded by all sorts of dials, indicators, and buttons with symbols on them. For a moment, he despaired ever piloting the boat. But as he looked closer, he realized it was really relatively simple. Many of the symbols were basically the same as those in his car. He was surprised to see that there were ten windshield wiper buttons, but looking around the pilot’s area, he saw ten corresponding windshields. There were also buttons for a horn and various light settings. There were a few other symbols he had to think about, but understood with a moment’s reflection. But the four he was especially glad to see showed a simplified boat symbol, with up or down arrows at the bow or stern, respectively. On seeing them, he knew he would be able to raise or lower the lifeboat.

  There were two throttle levers and a compass, and a power button beside the computer screen. But most importantly, there was a radio transceiver mounted to the left of the seat. Charlie snatched it up and pressed the button on the side. There was no sound to indicate it was on. Scanning through the instrumentation, he saw a button with a symbol that looked somewhat like a radio antenna with waves emitting from it. He pressed that button.

  Still, there was no sound.

  At the top right of the console, there were two green buttons. One was labeled ENGINE, the other, ELEC. SYSTEMS. Embossed on each button was a familiar symbol; a circle, interrupted by a vertical line through the top of it. It had become the universal symbol of power in the computer age. He didn’t want to start the engine yet, but thought starting the electrical systems might get the radio online. He pressed the button and was rewarded by the console flickering to life, and a slight crackle from the radio.

  Charlie pressed the button on the mic, then let go. What was he going to say? He remembered what he had always seen in movies. “Mayday, mayday. This is the Bahama Queen, and we have an emergency.”

  He let off the button and listened. After a moment’s silence, he repeated his call. “Mayday. This is the Bahama Queen. Please respond.”

  Still, there was nothing but static. “Is anybody listening?” After several more seconds, he tossed the mic into the seat. “Shit.” The monitor flickered as the system began booting up.

  Looks like you’re on your own, boy.

  Charlie beat his open palm against his forehead. “Fuck you, old man,” he growled. “If you don’t have anything constructive to offer, just shut the hell up.” He took a deep breath, calming his nerves, and looked at the controls once more. All in all, they looked simple enough. “Yeah, I can run this.”

  He trotted back to the door opposite where he had entered. Sure enough, there was another lever release on this end. He was about to unlock this one, when he heard Felicia call his name from the roof. “Charlie? Charlie!”

  What the hell is wrong with that woman? They’ll hear her!

  But her voice sounded panicked. He looked instinctively toward the fore of the ship, expecting to see a crowd of infected coming toward them, but didn’t see any movement. “Over here!” he called quietly. He waved his hand so she could see him from the roof. In only a few seconds, Felicia and Celina both came into view. “What’s wrong?” he asked them.

  Grim faced, Celina simply pointed ahead of the ship.

  At first he didn’t see anything. Then he understood. “Oh shit.” He turned back to the women above. “Is everybody down yet?”

  Felicia shook her head. “Still five of us up on the balcony.”

  He looked back at the power lines that crossed the Ship Channel. They looked like they were probably at least a hundred feet above the water. Unfortunately, the Bahama Queen towered more than twice that height. “Tell them to jump! We’re gonna hit those cables in about sixty seconds!” He turned to the release mechanism and slammed the lever up. He was careless in his haste, though, and the metal clanged loudly, echoing through the air.

  Dammit, boy! You tryin’ to get the attention of every damn body around here?

  He froze, eyes wide, and looked up toward the bow, fearing the worst. His fears were realized as first one, then two, cackling crazies looked around the corner and began their staggering run toward the lifeboat. They were immediately followed by scores more, and soon there was a veritable wave of them running toward the lifeboat.

  “Hurry up,” he yelled up as loud as he could. There was no longer any need to keep quiet. “We got company!” He heard footsteps on the roof above him and glanced up to see several members of their group gaping at the rushing throng of crazies.

  They ain’t gonna make it. Hell boy, if you don’t do something fast, you ain’t gonna make it, either.

  “Don’t just stand there, you fucking idiots!” Charlie yelled at them. “Get everyone down from that balcony!” They scrambled back out of sight, but as Charlie looked back, he knew his father was right. They were going to be too late. The crowd was going to be on top of them in about twenty seconds. Charlie looked up at the roof where Felicia, Tabby, and the others still struggled to get down. He looked back at the river of insane, grinning faces running toward them.

  Come on, boy. You know what you gotta do.

  Grim-faced and resigned, Charlie stepped back inside the lifeboat. Hesitating only a second, he dogged the hatch closed, then ran across and dogged the opposite hatch. He ran to the pilot’s station and climbed up to the pilot’s seat. Looking out the raised windshield, he saw the power cables passing overhead. He licked his lips and examined the controls. Yanking the release lever, he felt the lifeboat lurch slightly.

  “Charlie!” He turned to see Felicia at the window of the hatch. She was beating frantically on the window with her open palm.

  Ignore the bitch, boy. You got more important things to worry about.

  “Char…” He winced as he saw an arm grab her from behind and slam her head into the window. Fingers wrapped firmly in her hair, the arm pulled back her head again, and for a split second, he saw the dazed accusation in her eyes. Then her head flew forward once more, spraying the window with a splatter of red. Her eyes glazed and closed before her face dropped from sight.

  There, you see? Nothing you coulda done, anyhow. Now, get back to work.

  Another face replaced it—a face framed on one side by long hair. Charlie’s blood ran cold as he saw the stringy and dirty, but undeniably purple hair. The young man stared at him, grinning insanely as he leaned into the window, stuck out his tongue, and licked a streak of blood from the glass. Then he slammed his own head into the window and giggled. “Piggy!” Another face pushed against him and he shoved back, never losing his smile as he began to repeat the squealing he had used all those days ago outside the miniature golf course. The sound sent a chill down Charlie’s spine. “Squee! Squee!”

  Charlie cried out
as more screams and footsteps sounded from the roof, and the lifeboat began to sway slightly. He turned back to the pilot’s station and skimmed through the emergency launch sequence on the bright yellow sign before him. Trying to concentrate, he worked on ignoring the screams from overhead and the squealing at the hatch. He started the sequence with shaking hands and the lifeboat began to drop as the winch activated.

  Then an odd sound filled the air—the odd, metallic whine of vibrating and snapping cables—and Charlie remembered the power lines. Everything lurched slightly, and Charlie looked out the windshield as dozens of power lines dropped, leaving a trail of sparks as the live wires dragged across the ship. He saw one line drag through the crowd of crazies and several of them dropped overboard. Eyes wide, he watched as the line swung inexorably toward the lifeboat.

  “Well, Dad, looks like we’re well and truly fucked.”

  He could hear his dad’s sigh. Yep. Sure looks that way.

  As the cable struck the side of the lifeboat, Charlie gritted his teeth, expecting his muscles to lock up. Images of overcooked, charred flesh passed through his mind as he anticipated the pain to come and a slight whimper escaped his throat. Instead, he felt a slight tingle, and the hair on his arms stood up for a few seconds. Then the feeling passed, and he sat staring at the immense hull of the ship beside him as the lifeboat continued to lower toward the water.

  Looking back up where the lifeboat had left the jogging track behind, he thought for a moment he saw Tabby struggling her way through a swath of crazies. But before he could be sure, the crowd swarmed past. When he blinked, whoever it was, assuming it wasn’t just some trick of the light, was gone. He looked down over the end of the lifeboat’s hull and saw that he was about halfway down.