Country At Heart

by Mandy Magro

  CHAPTER

  18

  Refreshed after returning home for a shower and some lunch – although her heart still felt like a lead balloon after saying goodbye to Dean – Summer made the call she’d been dreading. Her parents had been livid about her leaving without telling them in person, and had agreed to have a chat with her about it over afternoon tea. Little did they know she had something even bigger to discuss. She wished she didn’t have to deal with them today, but it was best to sort out their grievances now, otherwise the situation would have too much time to fester within her, and that was physically and emotionally unhealthy. She needed to find out once and for all why her father had taken such drastic measures to keep Dean out of her life. She also wanted to salvage her mobile phone from behind her bed; she felt like her right arm was missing without it.

  Parking behind her dad’s gunmetal-grey Range Rover, Summer took a few moments to gather her thoughts, silently reminding herself to remain cool, calm and collected. Although she was fuming, she knew that lashing out at her father was not going to achieve anything. Looking at her reflection in the rear-vision mirror she drew in a deep breath – she could do this. She could stand up to her father as the adult woman she was, with poise, strength and confidence.

  Stepping from the Mini, she straightened her white cheesecloth dress and headed up the front steps, her palms sweaty and her mouth feeling as though it was full of cotton wool. Her dad met her at the front door, his thin lips twisting into a forced smile. Summer gritted her teeth, her fingernails digging into her clenched palms.

  ‘Hello, Summer.’ Donald’s voice was filled with disapproval as he stepped back to allow her in. ‘Afternoon tea is ready and waiting out the back. Your mum thought it was a perfect day for us to sit outside.’

  ‘That sounds nice,’ Summer said, her voice trembling. Following her father down the hallway, she cleared her throat, willing her body to work with her. She had to keep it together.

  As Summer approached, treading carefully over the back lawn in her heeled shoes, Marie offered an unconvincing smile and pointed to the chair opposite her. ‘Hello darling, have a seat.’

  Summer did as she was asked, sensing this was going to be more of a cross-examination than an opportunity to talk civilly as adults. But with her parents’ track record, what else had she expected?

  Donald made himself comfortable between them, pouring three cups of tea from the pot. ‘Your mother has been worried sick about you, Summer. I think it would have been respectful of you to ask our approval before taking it on your own back to move into Fiona’s yesterday. You know how we feel about you living there, and I’m none too pleased about you taking a job in Phillip’s café either. It’s a waste of your university degree.’

  Marie began cutting the lemon meringue tart, one of Astrid’s specialties. ‘Your father’s right. We’ve invested a lot of time and money into your education and feel it would be unwise of you to throw it all away just because you want to follow some fruitless dream of becoming a yoga instructor.’ She rolled her eyes, waving the cake knife in the air. ‘You must be able to see the big mistake you’re making, darling, surely?’

  Without bothering to add milk or sugar, Summer took a gulp from her tea while her parents sat staring at her, silently waiting for her reply. It felt as though they were visually dissecting her, making her stomach churn like a washing machine on spin cycle. Entwining her fingers beneath the table, she sucked in a breath and then held her father’s slitted gaze. It was now or never.

  ‘Dad, why did you try to persuade Dean to leave me by giving him a cheque for fifty thousand dollars?’ She’d said it so very calmly that she even shocked herself.

  His teacup raised to his lips, Donald’s strong veneer faltered for a split second as he avoided Marie’s wide eyes and gaping mouth. Slowly, he took a sip from his cup and then placed it back on its saucer as though it were made of the frailest of glass. Clasping his hands on the table, he began to twirl his thumbs around each other. ‘Who told you such rubbish, Summer?’

  ‘Nobody told me – I saw the cheque with my own eyes. Please don’t try to talk your way out of this, Dad. You need to be honest with me if we are ever going to salvage what is left of our relationship.’

  Marie sat shell-shocked, her neat eyebrows almost meeting her hairline as she vaguely shook her head from side to side. ‘Donald?’

  Sitting back in his chair, Donald folded his arms across his chest, the hint of a cynical smile on his lips. ‘Okay, Summer, you got me. I don’t think Dean is the right kind of man for you, and thinking of your best interests, like I always do, I did what I had to do to protect you.’ He threw his hands up, huffing, acting as though this entire conversation was a waste of time. ‘And obviously, because he still has the cheque, he has accepted my offer. But not to worry, Summer, you’ll thank me some day when you’re living the lavish lifestyle you’re accustomed to, instead of in some beach shack on a rundown old farm.’

  Summer’s calm demeanour evaporated as she leant across the table with flaring nostrils and fiery eyes. ‘How dare you speak about Dean with such disrespect, and all because he doesn’t live up to your impossible expectations. He’s a good man, a decent man, a man who loves me unconditionally – unlike you.’

  Donald slammed his open palm on the table, spilling the sugar bowl. ‘He’s scum, Summer, just like his father. Why don’t you ask your mother about Tony Lockwood? She knows all about him.’ He turned to Marie, his face red. ‘Don’t you, darling?’

  Summer shifted her focus to her mother, her heart pounding. ‘Mum, what’s he talking about?’

  Marie stood, clutching her chest as she choked back tears. ‘Donald Milton, what have you done?’ Turning, she ran to the steps that led down to the beach, her sobs echoing as she vanished out of sight.

  Donald buried his face in his hands, shaking his head.

  With one last appalled look at her father, Summer thrust herself from her chair, kicked off her shoes and ran after her. ‘Mum, please, Mum!’

  Summer’s mind was in a spin. What buried secret had her father just unearthed?

  Clearing the steps two at a time, she landed on the sand with a thump. Squinting into the sunshine that was intensely magnified by the reflection off the water, she spotted a silhouette. Her mother stood at the water’s edge, arms wrapped around herself, her usually confident frame now hunched over at the waist. Summer watched helplessly as her mother collapsed to her knees, her cries filled with utter anguish. In ten long strides, she joined Marie and dropped to her knees, then softly placed her hand on her mum’s back, rubbing it.

  ‘Mum, are you okay?’

  Marie shook her head; her lips quivering as tears poured down her cheeks. She wiped them away with the back of her hand, but more fell in their place. Sighing, she let them fall, chewing her bottom lip. ‘No, Darling, I’m so sorry, but there’s something I think you need to know.’ Her voice was barely audible over the crashing waves.

  Summer’s pulse quickened as the air around her shifted, becoming heavier. A million questions flooded her, making her feel extremely lightheaded. ‘Okay.’ Her voice sounded like someone else’s.

  Bringing her gaze to Summer’s, Marie stood and took her by the hand, tugged her to her feet, and led her with measured steps to a shaded spot under a palm tree. ‘Let’s sit here, shall we? It’s time I spoke to you woman to woman, Summer, so then you might see why your father might be reacting the way he is – and I’ll make it very clear right now, I’m not excusing his actions towards Dean in any way.’

  ‘Okay, Mum, I’m all ears.’

  Sitting down beside her daughter, Marie drew her knees to her chest then wrapped her arms around them. ‘Remember how I told you I knew Tony at school?’ She didn’t wait for Summer to respond. ‘Well, there’s more to it than that. A lot more … I was in love with him, Summer, deeply, obsessively, crazily in love with him. I truly believed he was my soul mate.’

  ‘Oh my god, Mum—’

&nb
sp; Marie shushed her by gently placing her hand on Summer’s knee. ‘One night, at the end of high school dance, Tony and I, we … um …’ She turned to Summer, her forehead wrinkled. ‘Tony and I had sex.’ Her face was going a brighter shade of red by the second. ‘And then, about nine weeks later, I found out I was pregnant, but Tony had already told me what we had done was a big mistake, because he was in love with another woman. So I didn’t tell him.’

  Summer gasped for air, fear stabbing her from every direction. Was her mother about to tell her that Dean was her brother? She couldn’t speak. Her heart hammered against her ribcage as she waited, breath held.

  Marie began to cry again, her blue eyes darkening with shadows of her past. ‘I had just started to date your father when I found out, and he was furious when I told him. He didn’t know Tony and I had slept together, and I hadn’t had the heart to sleep with your father at that stage. I mean, I’d only been with Donald for a few short weeks and after what had happened with Tony I was hesitant to have sex again. I’d never seen your father so enraged, Summer. It terrified me.’ Marie sniffled, the painful memory giving her an almost haunted look.

  Summer took her mother’s hand and squeezed it, ignoring the little voice in her head that was screaming for her mother to get to the point. Marie smiled sadly as she continued, the words spilling from her like a dam that had broken its banks.

  ‘Your father told me he wouldn’t stand by a woman who was carrying another man’s baby, and that he would be too ashamed to take me out in public. He was trying to build a good reputation, you see, so he could achieve his dream of becoming mayor. He demanded I have an abortion, which I reluctantly did. I was too afraid he would leave me if I didn’t, and I couldn’t handle another rejection so soon after Tony.’

  Summer’s reserve broke and she wept, a flood of relief that Dean wasn’t her brother and compassion for her mother’s anguish filling her. ‘Oh, Mum, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how devastating it would have been for you, having to give up your unborn child. I don’t think I could go through with something like that. It’d kill me.’ She frowned angrily. ‘And I can’t believe Dad made you get an abortion just so his image wasn’t tarnished. That’s so fucking selfish.’

  Marie’s eyebrows shot up, the wisp of a smile showing through her tear-stained face. ‘Summer Milton, I’ve never heard you use the F-word.’

  Summer smiled faintly. ‘Sorry, it just makes me so angry that he’d do that to you.’

  ‘It makes me angry, too, if I think about it for too long, which is why I try to push it to the back of my mind. And I believe it’s the main reason he’s so dead against you being with Dean, because he’s afraid I’ll see Tony and fall in love with him all over again, especially now that his wife has passed away.’ She looked to the heavens, groaning. ‘Your dad and I have been arguing about this ever since you told him about Dean. I’ve tried to explain to him that it was eons ago, that a lifetime has happened between then and now, but he just won’t listen, the silly old fool. I do love your father, Summer; he’s always been there for you and me, in his own way. It’s not his fault that he grew up with a pigheaded father who didn’t know how to show emotion, but he doesn’t have to make history repeat by becoming his dad. And I’ve told him that too – not that he’s liked hearing it.’

  Summer recalled the argument she’d overheard before the New Year’s Eve party, and the way her mum had looked so distraught the next day. She’d thought it was because of what had happened between Marcus and Dean, but it was obvious to her now that her mother had been under immense strain from her own hidden demons.

  ‘Yeah, I’m guessing you’ve hit the nail on the head there, Mum. And then add in the fact that Dean’s not rich, and he doesn’t wear a suit, and he is Dad’s worst nightmare, whereas the opposite is true for me: Dean Lockwood is my dream come true, my soul mate. I just know it. I wish Dad could look past his own crap and be happy for me.’

  ‘I wish that too, darling. And it was so very wrong of him to try to use money to get in the way of true love. I don’t blame you for being angry with him – I’m furious with him myself. He owes you an apology, and owes Dean one too, for that matter.’

  ‘I’m not holding my breath – Dad has never been one for apologies.’

  ‘Yes, I know that all too well. But let’s hope that this time he sees his mistake, and finds it in himself to apologise.’

  ‘To be honest, Mum, until he does, I really don’t think I can forgive him.’

  Marie nodded. ‘You’ve got every right to feel like that, and I support you one hundred percent in that decision.’

  ‘Thanks, Mum. How about my decision to open a yoga studio, are you going to support me with that one too?’

  Marie paused, her forehead creased again in contemplation. Then she tenderly cupped Summer’s face. ‘Yes, I will support your dream, because I know it will make you happy. Your father will dislike me for it, but I don’t care, he’ll just have to get over it.’

  Summer threw her arms around her mum. ‘Thank you, that means the world to me.’

  Marie embraced her tightly. ‘I know it does. That’s why, as a mother, I should support you no matter what. I’ve allowed your father to sway my thoughts too much, just to keep the peace with him. It’s about time I started standing up to him. It might do him good to get a taste of his own medicine.’

  Pulling back, Summer held her mother’s gaze, her thick lashes wet with happy tears. She’d waited a lifetime for her mother’s unconditional support, and now she had it. ‘How do you feel about it all now – you know, the abortion? Has the heartache eased after all these years?’

  ‘I regret terminating the pregnancy every day and I can’t help but resent your father for making me do such a thing.’ She drew in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. ‘There’s not a day goes past when I don’t wonder what my child would have looked like, or if it was a boy or a girl, or how Tony would have reacted if I’d told him – you could have had a brother or sister, Summer.’

  ‘I may not have even been thought of if you’d had the baby, Mum. It might have changed everything. Who knows? It could have even been the thing that had brought you and Tony back together. You could have ended up with your soul mate.’

  ‘Oh sweetheart, Tony and I were never really together. Well, not in his eyes anyway. I was smitten, but he was head over heels for Dean’s mum. And, just for the record, I wouldn’t change a thing about being with your dad.’ She wrapped her arm around Summer’s shoulder, cuddling her in closer. ‘Because you are my world and without your dad, you’re right, I wouldn’t have had you.’

  ‘Thanks, Mum.’ Summer gave her a kiss on the cheek. ‘Love you.’

  ‘I love you too, darling, so very much. And I’m sorry I seem so hard on you sometimes, I just don’t want to see you make the same silly mistakes that I did.’

  ‘I understand that, Mum. But you have to give me some credit, and let me follow my own path in life, as well as trusting in my decisions.’

  ‘I promise I will from here on.’

  ‘Thanks, Mum – and just one more question, if that’s okay?’

  ‘Yup, shoot.’

  ‘Do you think you’ll ever tell Tony about the baby?’

  ‘You know, I’ve thought about that a lot lately, and I’m not sure if it would be a good idea or not. I know it would be a weight off my shoulders. But then, it might not be fair to tell Tony after all these years, so maybe it’s best left unsaid.’

  ‘I really don’t know what’s best, Mum, the ball’s in your court there. I just want you to know, your secret is safe with me, okay?’

  ‘Thanks, darling, I know I can count on you.’

  The two women sat in a companionable silence, their arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders, watching as the sun began to sink over the sapphire ocean. The way in which Mother Nature could create such beauty was almost hypnotic. Summer rested her head on her mum’s shoulder and closed her e
yes, the last of the balmy warmth enveloping her as the gentle sea breeze caressed her skin. Inhaling deeply, she imagined the sun absorbing all the heaviness in her heart, and prayed that by her mother revealing her secret, it had lightened the load she’d been carrying all these years. She wondered what she would do in the same situation. Not that she was judging her mum, but she didn’t think she could go through with an abortion, it went against all her beliefs in a child’s right to live.

  It was overwhelming to know her mum had gone through such terrible heartache and all because her father was too damn selfish to see past his own needs. Typical. Through it all, though, she felt a million times closer to her mum now, like the wall that had divided them had been knocked down in one fell swoop, and it felt good. Something had shifted between them, an abyss that hadn’t been navigated before had been crossed. Through adversity their bond had strengthened and Summer couldn’t be more thankful.

  CHAPTER

  19

  Sitting behind the .50 calibre machine gun, Dean gave Indy a loving scratch behind the ears and she responded by resting her head in his lap. The unusual silence surrounding the pair was almost deafening, the moonless night like a tight fist enclosing them. Pulling two Anzac biscuits from his pocket, Dean gave one to Indy and then slowly savoured the other. Summer had been so thoughtful sending him a care package filled with everything he loved, including an angel pendant that she’d had blessed by a priest. It was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever given him. He always kept it in his left breast pocket so it was against his heart, the small act making him feel close to Summer at all times.

  Staring off into the nothingness, his mind trailed away, taking him from this harsh reality and back to Edens Edge, the image of Summer’s beautiful face making him smile. It had been just over four weeks since he’d seen her last, and God, how he missed her. Thankfully, their emails helped him fill the void a little, but it could never replace the sensation of her lips upon his. He couldn’t wait to get home and hold her close again.