Unraveling of Avery Snow, The

by Sloat, Christy

  “That is the truth. This life is about you, Avery. Something Ianni failed to remind you.”

  “Yes, that is true, but she couldn’t exactly tell me why she wanted me to live a life without Landon. Now I see why she wanted me to,” I said, picking up another shell.

  “Why is that?”

  “Because she wanted me to be happy with myself instead of worrying about him and making him feel whole again. It had nothing to do with being without him at all. “

  “You can be with whoever you choose to be with Avery, just as long as you are happy this time.” I saw that now. I saw that I could be with him or with Dallas. But I needed to be happy. I wasn’t exactly happy anymore. Not really.

  I was struggling with the past that I now remembered. I had to let that go and focus on my future.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Decision

  I woke up when the vacuum started. I jumped out of the chair, feeling foolish for actually falling asleep in it. I was sort of mad that everyone had left me here. I walked out of the Inn into the dark night. When I glanced at my phone I noticed that it was early morning. Who do I call? I thought. Ianni was finally with Beau and who knows what I would be interrupting. I didn’t want to bother her.

  I searched for a taxi number in my phone. I found one and dialed the number. It rang and rang, but no one answered. I was so far from home. I walked along the road with my shoes in my hands. This sucked.

  I saw a car come rolling up behind me. Great! A serial killer was following me and this was my fate.

  “You need a ride?” It was Landon. I laughed about my serial killer thoughts and nodded. He didn’t leave me, but he was here way too late. I opened the door expecting to see Astrid in the passenger seat, but it was empty.

  “Where’s Astrid?” I asked before I got in.

  “I dropped her off at her hotel room. Then came back to get you,” he said with smiling eyes. “You didn’t think I would leave you here, did you?”

  “Well, actually yes, I did. I was left here alone.” I placed my hands on my hips.

  “Get in Avery.” I did as he said and we took off towards home.

  

  I woke up the next morning on the couch. My head ached slightly from too much champagne. I couldn’t sleep in Dallas’ bed last night, not without knowing where we stood. I remember Landon helping me in the house and then he helped me get changed. I blushed at the thought of him helping me into my pajamas. But he didn’t try anything.

  Pulling the blanket away from my body, I walked into the kitchen for juice. I looked outside at the beautiful day. Landon was in the pool swimming laps. I walked out to watch him and say good morning. He saw me and waved, “Coming in?” he asked.

  “Nah, I think I am going to head back to my apartment for the day. I need some time to think.”

  He got out of the pool, wrapped a towel around himself, and shook the beads of water off his head. He was a beautiful man. I didn’t trust myself around him. I felt like any moment I could fall into his arms. It was a struggle not to do that right now.

  “Do what you need to,” he told me. “Dallas comes home today. I think you both need to talk tonight.” I agreed, but for now I needed to be alone with my thoughts.

  I packed a small bag of clothes, not knowing how long I would be at my place. Ianni didn’t come home yet, but I knew she was with Beau. I sent her a text telling her where I would be in case she wondered. I told Landon goodbye as he stood in the doorway watching me drive away. May and I left the driveway and headed home.

  Once I pulled into my place an overwhelming sense of peace came over me. I was home. Where I needed to be. Staying with Dallas wasn’t what I truly wanted. Not now.

  I opened my door and immediately opened all my windows, letting in light. I made a waffle while the coffee was brewing. Once they were done, I sat on my balcony and watched the bay. This was where I was happy. It was my home.

  I stayed on the balcony, watching the storm roll in. A storm that came fierce and hard. When the rain started pouring hard I left, soaking May.

  Pulling her in, I dried her off with a towel. Suddenly I heard the doorbell ring.

  “Who’s here, May?” I asked her as I dried her little face. Opening the door I saw Dallas, who stood before me soaking wet, his hair plastered to his face. I was so happy to see him. Yes I needed space, but with him standing here, I was ready to work out our argument.

  “Come on in,” I told him. I reached up to hug him, but he pushed me back slightly.

  “Avery, we need to talk,” he said as he took my hand in his. Never in the history of the world have those words ever had a good outcome. I stood with him as he hung his head. My hands trembled slightly and my heart pounded.

  “I think that you know why I need to talk to you, right? I mean, you have noticed that our relationship has changed immensely, haven’t you?” I nodded only to appease him. Yes our relationship had changed, but not in a way where we couldn’t work it out.

  “Did you meet someone else? Is it Sarah?” I asked. It was the only way to explain his aloof behavior.

  He shook his head. “No, not at all. This has nothing to do with someone. It has to do with how I feel about our relationship.” The one person who made me feel complete and held together was now threatening to tear me apart with his words. I stood still, looking shocked.

  “I think there are a lot of factors at play here, but mainly the fact that we rushed into this relationship is the biggest.” It was like a zipper was holding me together and he was slowly unzipping it. I shivered slightly.

  “We have known each other for a good two years now, Dallas,” I argued. I had been going in La Costa for the longest time. Every time I was there it was him I spoke to. “Sure, we were only acquaintances, but doesn’t that count? I mean we fell in love, right?” His face changed. The loving Dallas looked hard and stern in front of me now.

  “No, it doesn’t. I met you and as soon as I did I was thrown into this crazy world of angels and past lives. I didn’t ask for it.” He dropped my hand and it fell against me like a brick. I stared at it, as it was empty, and felt a hole form inside of me. He was breaking up with me. Fear spread threw me first. Fear of being without him. Could I handle this?

  “We were rushed into this whirlwind romance. Where I fell in love with you so fast that when time slowed down I realized, we hardly know each other.” Another hit. I backed away from him. “No, don’t run away from me.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me back. I was confused now. First he was pushing me away and now he was pulling me back. Anger set in next.

  “I never made you stay with me through all of my stuff,” I said through clenched teeth. “If you remember correctly, I wanted to take things slow, but you wanted to break down my so called wall.” He noticed the venom in my voice and stroked my hand, which I then pulled back.

  “I did fall in love with you. I do still love you. But, well, I’ll be completely honest with you. I found out who I am and it changed things. I know what I want for my future and you can’t support that.”

  My mouth hit the floor. I started stuttering, trying to pretend somehow that this wasn’t happening. “No, no, it’s not, no—”

  “Stop!” he yelled. “Stop trying to hide it. I knew something was going on. You’re always treating me like a care package. I don’t need your protection, Avery.” Guilt now replaced anger. It was true. I should have told him from the start. As soon as I found out. I didn’t though. I lied and hid the truth from him, hoping that he wouldn’t ever find out.

  “How do you know?” I dared to ask.

  “I had a dream. I was visited by a Spirit Guide. She told me that I was Garrison Whitaker and I killed myself in my past life. I was so upset at what you and Landon did to me that I killed myself.” He looked too upset. He didn’t even look me in the eye. “She also told me that you knew about it. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I didn’t want to hurt you,” I said softly.

  “Again, treati
ng me like a child.”

  “No, not like a child. Like someone who didn’t need to know his past,” I argued. Why would he need to know? Why did this guide tell him anyway? “Why did you need to know this?” I asked.

  “Apparently I am not following my path. Do you know what happens to humans who take their own life?” I shuddered at the thought. Ianni had once told me a little about it, but I never wanted to know anymore.

  “No.”

  “Let me fill you in,” he said angrily. “They put you in a sort of coma and make you sleep until your mind gets over the trauma of it all. Then you endure years of therapy. Finally, if they think that you can live again and survive, they let you. But here I am with the woman who betrayed me in my past life.”

  I was that girl now. The one that broke his heart even though he didn’t remember it. I did, but I tried to forget it every day.

  “I try to make it up to you by being there for you. I don’t even know what to say. I love you, Dallas, and only you.” He shook his head and dropped my hand forcefully now.

  “No you don’t. Don’t lie to me to spare my feelings,” he spat. “I see you watching him while he swims. I see how you look at his girlfriends and how you judge them. You love him.”

  “I care about him. I don’t want him with some girl who is going to hurt him.”

  “That’s another lie. You’re not mine and you have never been mine. You’re his.” Tears flowed now from my eyes and I couldn’t see straight. “The two of you are getting closer every day and he doesn’t even remember his past anymore. But that doesn’t matter; you are meant to be together.” It almost sounded sincere, like he really believed it.

  “He isn’t the one for me, you are,” I told him through sobs.

  “No I’m not.”

  “How do you know, huh? Because you had a dream?” I couldn’t believe that his guide would tell him all of this in a dream. Why would she do this to him?

  “I asked her. She told me you were not my destined path. She confirmed who I was, and told me that if I stayed on this path it would lead to more heartbreak.” Anger again filled me boiling to the top.

  “She isn’t supposed to tell you your future, only your past.” It was a law they abided by. A very sacred law.

  “She didn’t tell me my future. She only told me my past and present,” he chided. “And you are my present. I have to do this. I can’t sit by and watch you and Landon fall deeper in love. I have to let you go to him so that I can be okay with that.”

  Heartbreak. Terrible, angry, fearful heartbreak. As I cried he came closer and held me in his arms. The rain outside fell in sheets against the window. I felt like my tears would rain forever. He was leaving me and I loved him. I wanted to have space to get to know myself better, but I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to end our relationship.

  “I have to do this, Avery. I can’t let my heart get broken and do what I did to myself again. I can’t kill myself over you again.” Hearing him say it like that only made me cry harder, but it made sense. I didn’t want to lose him to that. But I chose him, not Landon.

  “I want to be with you. I won’t hurt you. Do you not trust me?” I asked through hiccups.

  “I trust you. I do,” he pulled away and looked into my eyes, “but I also know that you love him. Some part of you does and I thought I could live with that. But I can’t. You’re not my future, Avery.” He kissed the top of my head and turned to leave.

  “Wait,” I yelled. He kept walking without even looking back. Like a zipper, we were now separated. He unraveled our relationship in only mere minutes. We were no longer bound together. We were apart; I felt alone and cold. I fell to the ground, sobbing until I couldn’t anymore. I couldn’t move my body; I was frozen to my cold floor.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Sarafe

  Ragged was the best word to describe myself while I lay on the floor. Dallas was long gone. I had laid here for hours. Not moving, not crying, just lying. May licked my face and I held her in my arms. I was a weak shell of a person right now.

  “Oh get up you pathetic fool,” a voice thick as honey said. I looked around and lifted my head. No one was there. I thought for a moment that maybe it was me. Maybe I was telling myself to get up. So I did just that. I raised myself up off the floor. When I stood I was face-to-face with a Dark Guide. Her black wings nearly filled my room. Her dark skin was lustrous. Her blue eyes seemed to pierce me with a wicked stare. Sarafe.

  “What are you doing here?” I mumbled to her. “Come to finish me off?” I didn’t care. At this point I was ready for her to kill me. “Go ahead!” I yelled.

  Her laugh filled the room. She looked down upon me as she floated above me. “Wow, you’re that desperate that you’re ready to die? I love it!”

  “What do you mean?” I asked her.

  “I came here to witness Dallas breaking your heart in two. It was really fascinating, honestly,” she croaked. “I applaud him at his job. He really was wicked.” My head spun. She saw him break up with me?

  “What are you talking about?” I was so confused.

  “Well, let’s put it this way. I have been posing as his chef for so long, whispering in his ear that you don’t care about him. I got tired of waiting for him to throw you to the curb, so I decided a change was in order,” she said. “I posed as his Spirit Guide instead and I let loose all of your dirty secrets!” She did it. She was the one who told him. She was Sarah. I should have known. Justin’s mom did tell me that she was hiding right under my nose. My hands shook in anger and fear. She accomplished what she intended in the first place. She didn’t kill him, but she hurt him and me. She lied, snuck her way into his life, and told him the truth about his past. Put things in his head and separated us. “Now you know what it feels like to be without the man you love.”

  “What now? You’re going to kill me?” I asked through clenched teeth.

  “Nope. Your pain is enough for now.” She looked to my door and a look of fear flooded her eyes. One last glance my way and she flew out of my balcony window, smashing it into pieces. My front door burst open, John standing firmly with Ianni at his side. I collapsed onto the floor as she came rushing towards me. The light of the Angel in John’s hand had submerged my apartment. The last thing I saw was him flying after Sarafe. Then I hit the ground.

  

  “Avery,” Ianni said soothingly. “You’re okay.” My eyes fluttered and I could make her out now. She stood before me as I lay in my bed. She smiled and I returned it weakly. All of the memories flooded my mind. Dallas left me. He was gone. I had hid the truth from him and he left me.

  “Did John find her?” She shook her head. Of course not; that would have been too good of an ending. She was still out there somewhere, watching me, maybe right now.

  “Everything will be fine. John will be watching for her.” She paused. “I had Beau go get our things from Dallas’ place. He wasn’t even there. So that was easy.”

  “Oh,” I responded. He was gone and didn’t even try to stop me from leaving. He had really given up on me. There would be no fighting to get me back it seemed. Even though all of the things he was told was by a Dark Guide, one who was intent on hurting me.

  “You will be fine, Avery. I know you will. Get some rest,” she said as she covered me up and I fell back asleep.

  No dreams came to me. I was dreamless and desperate. When I woke the next morning I felt an ache inside of me, but not as bad as the day before. I suppose that it would be like this. Every day would get easier until I was over him. I didn’t want to be over him. I wanted to be with him. He didn’t call me; he didn’t want to talk to me. Even though I watched my phone it didn’t ring. I knew what I needed to do, but I didn’t know if I had the strength or nerve to do it. I picked up my phone and called.

  “Hey, Avery,” Astrid answered. “How are you?”

  “Not so good. I need to ask you something,” I said.

  “Anything. What’s up?”

 
“I need to know if you can tell me a good place to stay for a while up there in Washington.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Leaving

  I remember Landon telling me that the best place to think was Washington’s Olympic National Park. I definitely needed to think; that was apparent. I also needed to heal and lick my wounds. Astrid was willing to help me get my stuff sorted and she agreed to help me find a place near her in Sequim. She told me of a small place for rent that I would be able to afford. I even called around for temporary jobs. Just for a few months. I found one that suited me well. It was a hospital and I would be doing the same as I did here; helping the elderly. I had everything in order. My affairs were straightened out, I just had to tell my friends.

  Ianni met me for lunch after I got off from work. Kerri had yet to come back from her honeymoon, so I took over her duties. She looked radiant and happy when she sat down. I hated to have to tell her the news, but she deserved to know. It wasn’t like I was running away, I just needed a break.

  “I need to talk to you about a few things,” I started. She sipped her iced tea and looked over her menu. “I need some time to heal, so I called Astrid and I am going to stay up in Washington for a few months.” Immediately she dropped her menu and spilled her tea. Her eyes were wide in shock.

  “No! You can’t leave me here,” she said in desperation. “I need you.”

  “No you don’t. I think you are doing fantastic and you can stay in my place for as long as you need to. I am keeping it for now. My dad is helping me with the rent,” I informed her. “I need to do this for me. I think you can understand that after what I went through. I really should have left last year. Instead, I stayed here, thinking that everything would go back to normal.”

  She looked at me and only stared. She didn’t think I would do this. But I had to. There was no getting around it.