Year of the Orphan

by Daniel Findlay

  She went deeper, takin first a door an then along a metal walkway and down a staircase quiet and careful. She dint know what they made this wun outta but it had lasted. She dint remember no staircase from last time but she was havin them funny feelings like when she could hear the water runnin deep below and see a sound or taste a place. She dint quite know what it was but sumthin was pullin her deeper. The Ghost noises had stopped too. That was either real good or real bad dependin on how you was feelin in any given moment. Passin all these doors was breakin her scav heart. Who knew what was behind em? The locks had rusted through a long time ago, all it took was a little push. She kept walkin down, on the balls of her feet, arms out to the side, trailin a palm along the wall, feelin her heart speed up. She took a door off the staircase and came into a collapsed hallway with just a single door stuck into the wall. She took a step forwards and gave it a shove, it swung back on a hinge that squealed a complaint. She hissed the air out of her lungs and dropped into a crouch, listenin with her mouth half open. The hinge was still in her ears. She waited. Still nuthin, the Ghosts was quiet. What was this place? She clocked the room, the long low benches, the chairs on three legs or rusted an rotted down, keeled over like theyd seen a gust of wind but no wind ever blew down here. Under a cover of thick dust was cups and plates and other things she seen in the System now and then. She remembered the shapes and what they were for. They used to eat off em back in the day an instead of plastic bottles they had cups to drink outta, what they washed in other water. And the other water was good to drink but they chucked it out, chucked it on the ground like it werent nuthin. All them stories from the old fella bout that world that used to be. She dint know what to believe about them old times. She moved silent through the room, it was bigger than she first reckoned, with a long low bench along the wall and things what looked like other things she’d only ever seen in the old boss’s place. Whatd he call em? Taps. They was taps, and once upon a time water just come out of em like magic. Bullshit it did. She kept low, stalkin through the room on the front of her feet, grey dust an rotted cloth swirlin around her. She came to the end of the room an looked back, markin the door, an then peered close at a big board on the wall stuck with paper and all kindsa weird things. Her heart picked up an she felt a rush in her blud that she knew from times past it were best not to ignore. The board was sumthin, she could feel it. It looked alien but she also knew exactly what it were, she’d seen sumthin like it before. Lucky she had them brighteyes. She reached out and touched a bit of paper and her finger went right through it. She tried to pinch an edge between her fingers and the whole sheet went to dust. She tried another an it draped over her fingers like cobwebs an then vanished. Behind the paper though there was sumthin shiny. She banged her fist real gentle against the board and it rained paper and ash and dust down on her. A grey shower made outta all them things that dint matter no more. Behind the paper was another big thing stuck on the board but this wun was kinda shiny and stuck together better. It looked real old but sumhow it had stayed in wun piece. She looked closer in the dark. It had sum kinda lines and circles and numbers. They was all different colours and real small among the numbers was sum words. This were why she was here, she knew it. She peered at the thing, a thought startin slow in the base of her neck an creepin higher. The letters an numbers was hard to read cos it had been a long while since she done her lernin but there was sum words she knew real good on account of havin read em over and over evry day for a long time and she realised she was lookin at wun of em. It was like her heart stopped a little and she could see where she was from outside herself. She saw she was in a room down a deep spiral and she dint know where her ship was. She was in a room with only wun door and it was real far behind her and in her minds eye she saw a Ghost comin down that staircase like a spider in the dark towards her only way out. It was like it all stopped, like she was lookin over her own shoulder and she finally knew what it was that she was seein. It were her own end. She heard the door behind her as the hinge squealed again. Yeah she knew what she was lookin at but it was comin too late. That shiny thing on the board was a map, an the word she knew was Maralinga.

  19

  Before

  Whats he gone off to do?

  He’s gone to do his business an you an me get to stay here an watch the place. Unnerstand? An the old fella wants evrythin clean and shinin by the time he come back.

  Karra, what does the boss do?

  Karra looked puzzled, his hands falterin where normal he were full of answers, even to questions ya werent askin.

  Aint noneayours. If yer too fucken stupid to see what he’s doin each day Im not the wun to tell ya Orphan.

  She waited. She knew he couldnt know sumthin an not show that he knew it.

  The old fellas a bank, that means he holds worth for fellas an gives it out on tick. An he tells them admen an cando men what they wanna hear. Tells em when the sandstorms is comin an the like. You seen him mixin up the poultices and powders, he’s a healerman. Spends most his time worryin about all them old times though far as I can figger.

  Karras hands drifted a little like they did when his thoughts was wanderin an that strange look come over his face.

  Got sum secrets he does. He dont get enough from the fellas what come here to pay for me an you an all this around. Aint a place in the System has what we got in here, old stuff and paper an books and all them learnins. Not cheap. I seen them books, I can read the numbers, it dont fall even. Sumthin out there I reckon.

  He looked down at the Orphan like he realised his hands was still conversin an then reached out snakequick an clipped her around the ear. She dint flinch, never did. She knew what he was thinkin, that there was sumthin wrong with her. Said it out loud often enough an in front of the boss too. She seen it comin an decided not to move. Same as it ever was. He werent never gunna know that though.

  I know what yer doin Orphan.

  He spat on the ground.

  Yer skivin. Askin me these bludy stupid questions so ya can shirk yer chores. I dint blow in on the last fucken breeze. Get in there an get sweepin, that place better be spotless by the time the boss gets back ya hear.

  He dint wait for any kinda reply, just turned on his heel an headed inside. She watched him go an then went out the back to get the broom. Sumthin werent all right about Karra, he were gettin all wound up about sumthin an for once she reckoned it werent about her. Truth told an she’d never show him but he were puttin her on edge. Nuthin for it but to get the broom though. Werent nuthin that couldnt be fixed with hard work an cleanin.

  20

  Before

  Orphan this place we in now was part of sum real bad business if I aint wrong, a bad thing let out into the world. We livin now in the bad dreams of them times. Thats all I know. Far as I can tell sumwhere round here, an the System were a part of it, the first System I mean, they let a beast into the world. This thing were a mara, a totem they called it an it moved in the wind an in smoke an in fire an in light. It were great an small an it could turn the sand to glass an scoop out great handfuls of earth an bring a storm in an instant that might last a life. It were shapeless an invisible an it took yer life when it pleased an not before. I do mean to scare ya Orphan, if I can.

  This thing got loosed out here an it wormed an skulked into the dust an the earth an the water an evrythin that crawled, walked or flew. Them in the long before that set it loose they knew theyd done a bad thing. Why? Why indeed Orphan, it might be I don’t right know but I got me ideas. We’ll talk about the why another time, Im fixin ya in on the what for now, just pay attention. Them fellas who let this thing out they tried to put it back, not realisin theyd poisoned themselves. They gathered the dust, the broken rocks, the glass, whatever they could find that carried the mark of their totem an hid it, tryna make things right, or at least secret. Settin this creature loose were a bad thing and they dint want nowun to know the kind of murder they was workin up. They took all them things the beast had touched and they
hid em. Sumwhere out to the West, dont know where. Its a big story Orphan an I know Im droppin ya right in the middle of it. Plenny of this dont make sense to me, I only got bits an pieces of the old times to guide me. Sumthin ya need to know though. I need ya for sumthin yungen. Im not just teachin you cos I like the sound of me own voice. I want ya to find the leavins of this beast an I want ya to make sure they stay gone. You with your clever eyes and your little speck of Ghost blud in the black and brown an blue, you gunna need all them brains and memories. You unnerstand? Ya get why Im tellin ya this?

  21

  Block werent happy. It was well past sunset on the fortnight and she werent back. The boys she schooled in the circle swore they took her out there just like they promised else they wouldnta come back and told him so but they only ever said they was gunna take her out. They wasnt riskin gettin stuck out there, they just come straight back, and honest, he couldnt blame em none. You dint wanna be out there hangin about when the dark came down. He dint know how the Orphan made it back them nights across the sand last time but he reckoned she’d seen a thing or two. Them boys was back a day and he thought she’da been no moren another wun later than em accountin for time to find and rig the ship. The winds were good, she dint have no excuse. Sumthin werent right but there werent nuthin he could do about it now. He werent goin out there and it werent right to send none of his boys if he werent gunna risk it himself. Plenny of other things to worry about. Around him in the big shed the boys was lightin the lamps in between coughs and sum of em was dicin and cipherin and playin crosses. Few of em was lookin mighty thirsty, he’d haveta have a word an make sure they was gettin their water and tucker. He knew sum of em liked a smoke but if they was gunna be out of it all day evryday he was gunna haveta speak on it. Already sum kinda sick goin through the old drunks, couple of em fallin off evry day or so. He made a rough headcount, a few missin he reckoned. Sum of em was out scavvin and transactin per the usual. It was all in the game, all that hustlin, but it was strange quiet and he was wonderin if it were real or just on accounta his thoughts bein out there in the Glow an the Spirals with that bluddy girl. He dreamed up her face in his mind, dust caught in her brow an them sharp eyes seekin out the line. He hoped it were moren a wish he was seeing, hoped he was catchin sum realness, dint come to him often any more though. There were noise from outside, trouble he couldnt make out with sum of the fellas stood on the door. The yungens scattered through the shed was stoppin their verses and lookin up and Block raised himself outta his chair and made his way through the sleepers and the woke, his fingers twinin round and round the string that led into his pocket. He could see em now, three fellas hoodied up an as he come close their faces come out the shade. Two of Karras lads stood front on to Gus and Cutter and that bald bastard Karra were at the door himself, cocky as he liked. Block remembered when he werent the feared fella he were now though. He remembered when Karra was countin numbers for the Old Man though Karra done a lot to make that time far gone. Still doin a lotta countin, just a diffrent kind he sposed. The bald head looked up as Block shouldered through his yungens, Karras gaze lookin down at the string in Blocks hands. Yeah take a look ya bastard, you know where it goes. Block was holdin himself in but it werent no trouble. Plenny of practice these days. Karras eyes was like a brown snake, gave ya fucken nuthin.

  Where is she?

  The hands was direct. Real odd for him what moved his fingers like vipers.

  Who?

  Wun more time Ill ask ya.

  You aint had no business with her a long time and ya sure as shit dont now. Dunno why you come down here, aint you council now? Or whatever yer callin yerself.

  Its for her own good I wanna see her. You gunna tell me where she is?

  Her own good huh. I dunno where she is and thats the truth. You wouldnt know nuthin about that.

  He had to tread careful. Had to push back but not too hard. Not yet.

  I got word she been treatin with Ghosts. She needs warnin. You know what we gunna do we find out she been near em. She carry that taint already comin from where she come from, we cant have nunna that.

  You aint got word bout nuthin else itd be moren you and a few snakes down here right now. I aint seen her in a real long time.

  Block moved in close so their chests was almost touchin and his hands was hidden from all but the bald bastard. Wun of Karras lads dropped his hand inside his coat an Block knew he were treadin real treacherous sand. Karra dint step back though, give him his coldbluded dues and plenny that woulda shifted bein that close to the Block.

  I remember when you wasnt what you is now. I remember when you had a boss and you and that girl was just things what belonged to the Old Man. And you prolly remember me when I wasnt what I is now too, the difference tween you and me though is I aint tryna forget. Why dontcha do what yer sposed to an look after them whats sick. Moren more each day.

  Karras eyes never moved off Blocks hands as he signed and then he flicked his own wrists in reply.

  Old Mans been gone a long time now. You said it. Im the healerman now. Im the fella that feeds this place an Im the fella that keeps them walls up. That’s what I am. You can forget the rest. You tell your little mate. She been called out. You tell her. We speakin her name and she gunna come in.

  Karra stepped back finally and Block knew that nowun was gettin cut up right now but the weight of the hook blade felt real good right then, restin against his leg. The bald bastard turned on his heel and his fellas followed, leavin eyes on Block until they was well away. Block looked around and realised he was surrounded by twenty yungens, sum with hands in pockets, lads and lasses with hard faces and sum curious looks. He hadta stop hisself crackin a smile. Good kids, look at em.

  Yez done good dintcha. Had me back.

  They nodded all solemn like. Too much histery tween him and Karra to be borin these yungens with tonight. Not sure he wanted to tell it either, went back a real long way with that snake. It werent done though, nuthin more certain.

  Yez done good. That bald bastard jus looken for sumwun he aint gunna find.

  The yungens drifted back to their eatin and talkin. Block moved back through em keepin it all held down. Pattin em on the shoulders, tellin em they dun good. Well, they had hadnt they? Nowun got hype and started sumthin they couldnt finish. Where the fuck was that orphan? Always maken trouble. He pushed past the curtain that sectioned off his corner of the shed. Piled with leaves of paper an books fallin apart. Paper turnin right to dirt, he’d read it usedta come from trees. What a world. He sat down heavy on a stool an took the hook outta his pocket. He looked at the dirt floor and the lamplight on the blade. Where the fuck was that orphan?

  22

  Before

  Ever since she come back from her loop thingsd been different. She was less trouble than she’d ever been an Karra werent sure if he liked it or it made him wanna flog her even harder. That mark on her hand. The way she’d looked when the boss took the knife back off her an the look in her eyes that was half scared an half lookin at sum place that werent nowhere near. She’d come back alive though. Baked from the heat an dust in evry crack but she’d stumbled her way back to the gate an the disbelievin Watch had called him down to walk her in. She was sleepin now, the boss readin his papers in the front room like he did near evry night. Seemed real tired for sum reason. The heatd gone outta the day an he were pacin the yard, halfway between the house an the stable, sun droppin fast an a chill creepin in. Yeah he werent real sure how to talk to the boss. Few days ago he’d been real certain but now he werent sure it mattered what the boss was tellin the girl. Her just an orphan kid and before her circuit he’d thought she prolly wouldnt last more than another year or two even if things went good. Werent so certain now. Talk was water was gettin short in the System. Talk was moren more Ghosts was gettin found inside the boundaries, moren more was goin missin. Not many yungens bein found outside an the wuns inside blind or dyin, sick if they was lucky. True or not Karra dint like the talk. The boss dealt
in all kindsa trade, makin sense of old things, tellin people what was wrong with em, tellin em what was gunna happen next. All kindsa old stuff that smacked of the sand and bone and dust. He were a fearsum bloke, the boss, and Karra had felt the lash from him before. But surely he’d wanna know that people was talkin about that orphan. He’d gotta want to know that sum fellas was sayin he took in a kid with bad blud, a little wun what come from out the Boundaries and a mother with the taint of the Glows on her. It werent doin his reputation no good with sum of the fellas that collected down at the hook. There werent no solid boss of the System but plenny had tried. Best could be said the Old Man was feared so he was left most alone and even the real bad wuns knew that the boss could heal em if they got snakebit or heatbit. But there werent nuthin solid and Karra were afraid. Afraid that the Orphan was makin the Old Man weak. Afraid that the girl was gunna get em both staked out in the sand.

  23

  Dark

  Reckoner.

  My name is yours.

  Yer name is ours. Reckoner, Walker, Ranger, Digger, Bludman, all them names.

  I hear em.

  Them up above been comin deep, been comin dark an diggin in them old things. They gunna taint the soaks an scorch the hills. Old time come round again. We callin em to dust an you to reckon it.

  I hear it.