Year of the Orphan

by Daniel Findlay

  She could feel the flush creepin up her chest, her heart bangin on her breast but she knew too there werent nuthin showin on her face. As was, breathe slow. There werent no nice way outta this wun. She kept her chin tucked and her eyes on his hands, not lookin at his face while he rambled on, his fingers slurrin and driftin all over the place.

  They kilt em and et em then they come again and kilt the old fella and yev been twice orphaned but yer still goin out there, still scavvin. Still lookin for sumthin I reckon and I reckon I know what it is.

  She breathed deep fore she spoke. Makin sure her hands was steady. It aint the old fellas gold Karra, I swear to ya. I got no use for more gold than what can feed me and keep my ship rollin. He dint never speak about no gold or nuthin like that to me.

  He leaned back an it were a long time fore his hands moved again.

  Ya know what Orphan, I think I might even believe ya. But theres sumthin that you aint tellin. Yer mate the Block, the wun what fancies hisself sum kinda big fella down there in the rubbish heaps don’t mind gold. He got plenny of use for it and he got plenny of use for you.

  She thought of tellin him the truth but she knew what it was gunna sound like. It were gunna sound like there were a pile of treasure so deep the old fella made up a real big story of death and poison and old times to make sure nowun was ever gunna go near it. Karra could read and scribe enough to know that the old fella musta hadda a stash of old stuff sumwhere but she reckoned that secret an whatever loot he had died with him and that werent nowuns fault. Well mayhap it were sumwuns fault but she dint wanna start thinkin things in here that might come up in her eyes. Clear wine or no clear wine Karra were a brownsnake and ya treaded real light around them an preferable not at all.

  It aint like that Karra.

  Yeah and you can call me boss in here Orphan, I was always boss to you an dont forget it.

  OK boss.

  Get the fuck outta here then. Im gunna send sumwun to come get ya again, were not done here. Theres sumthin yer not tellin.

  Im just scavvin.

  Fuck off, go on, get outta here.

  He watched her go and then banged on the desk hard. A lad came into the room with a bottle of clear wine and made to pour sum in his cup but Karra held up his hand. He looked at the skinny yungen in front of him, a few dark threads on his chin an stickin out the top of his tunic, near enough a kid but eyes like pits. Heard tell he were hard at it, come up scrappin an scavvin spite his years. Who knew where he come from? The hungry wuns was the easiest to own. Dint even know half the fellas that was on the council these days. The more Ghost stories got told, the more fellas feared the bludy Reckoner comin for em in the night, the more was flockin to him, askin for directions. The rush to pay tribute an get answers was moren the ledger could handle sum days.

  Cull aint it? Lissen good then Cull. Follow the girl. Unnerstand me? Get hold of a ship and keep it ready to go. I wanna know what she does inside and if she heads out inta the Glows I want ya followin yunnerstand? Shes goin out again an this time I dont want no fucken stories from them whipped cornerboys about too far an too deep. You follow her wherever she goes.

  The yungfella nodded.

  And get this fucken shit outta here.

  He gestured at the bottle. Cull took the bottle, the door closed and Karra were alone again. The stink of clear wine was overpowerin and his skin was stingin a little where he’d splashed it on his clothes. The bit he’d dripped on the floor was doin its job pretty good too, the whole place smelled like it were the den of a fella whose brain was mush or soon to be that way. Better to let the Orphan an her mate think that he reckoned, better to let her reckon he was fadin. He’d learned a few things from the old fella. Whatever they thought, it were real for them. He was gunna get the Old Mans stash, he was gunna clean up this pile of shit and then he were gunna sit right on top of it, there werent gunna be no Block or no other piss stain creepin in the dark an plottin on him. Them that couldnt be bought was takin dust naps, all of em. Dint know why it werent already done.

  34

  Before

  He picked up the quill from the floor and then reached around the boss’s hot and slippy neck till he found the brokenoff nib. He pulled it out and threw it in the stove all together, watchin the stick burn and the soft copper blacken up in the flames. The boss was still kneelin against the sill so he took him down and laid him on his back on the floor. Dust but there was a lotta blud seepin inta the dirt and he found his self angry at the Orphan all of a sudden. If she hadda cleaned this floor proper he wouldnt be in this shit right now. Maybe if he kilt her and said she gone mad and kilt the Old Man and him just a loyal fella kilt the girl tryna save his boss. But who was gunna believe sum tiny scrap of an orphan got her blud up and kilt the Old Man. Nah, it was gunna look like old Karra finally done what he looked like he was gunna do in his dark moments and then they was gunna cut him up and feed him to the dogs. Or worse yet theyd stake him out near the Glows in the sun and let the Ghosts et him as the sun went down. He shivered. Nah, what he’d gotta do is rouse the girl, then the alarm. There were rumours flyin round all the time that Ghosts was inside the walls an takin fellas from their sleep. The Reckoner walked among em they said, looked same as anywun but he werent human, he was a creature out the deep dark. Enough was frightened witless of the terrors that it were wun thing on Karras side. If he could get the girl to say what she thought she heard or seen it were gunna be alright. In fact, if he were real smart an could remember his scribin, it might end up real alright. As long as the two of em had the same story the old fellas customers and bondmen was gunna believe it. They might have their susses about Karra but they was gunna believe whatever the Orphan said. Reckoned she were too simple for any kinda nonsense. That was it. Get them on tellin the same story, singin the same song and maybe Karra could make all this shit work out real well for hisself and down the track he could take care of the Orphan. Commotion first though. He reached down into the Old Mans blud and got more of it all over his hands.

  35

  Just like she expected the Wide Open Road was gone from the gate. She hoped it were Blocks lads that had grabbed it. Coupla fellas hackin an coughin in the glow from the wall, dint look like they had enough sense about em to be nickin shit. Even as she watched, wun of em dropped down to his his knees, sum kinda gunk dribblin out his mouth an then pitched forwards into the sand, breathin heavy. Nah, werent nowun in sight with the chops to take the ship though it dint mean it never happened. She werent sure what she’d just seen at Karras place but it looked like he’d gone the soak. Battlin with sum troubles was the bald bastard. She and him dint see each other much these days and it been a long time since he’d put her out and told her whatever he owed the Old Man was done and dusted and she was on her own.

  She came round the hook, road stretchin in two directions, wun to the Block and hopefully her ship and the other to the tyre stacks and a place where she could rest a little. Outta sight of the System she’d stowed the map in wun of the hollow spars on her ship so there was no quiet studyin to be done yet, no real reason for her to head back through the towers other than the fierce ache in her head an a wishin for just a little time to sit on what she’d found an think it through. She needed to see them words again in clear light of day an have sumwun else read em too. Whyd she got the feelin there was a big weight pressin down? She hadnt seen Karra for a long time an that werent no accident on her part. She could feel reckonin comin an the stranger in the Glows was throwin her. She shoulda been dead twice over out there. Had she really found directions? Found sumthin the old fella had been lookin for as long as she’d known him an longer? She dint know what had happened down the Glowhole neither, still felt like there was time missin from her memories and each time she tried to drag the Reckoner back into focus his eyes and face slipped further away. She turned down the dusty street, headin towards the Block, finally havin the time to be wunderin about Maralinga. Her feet was unsteady an she struggled to keep her chin up as
she walked. Felt sumthin stalkin, huntin her again like she were on the sand but when she checked her tail there weren’t nowun trailin her, just the System crowdin her same as it ever was. Thinkin of the old fella, she wished he were here to see the map with her, help her make sense of it, set her mind at rest that she done good. She’d snuck another look out when she was stashin it in the ship but her head was scrambled and the rush was still on her and not only were it shakin too hard to see proper she couldnt make sense of the lines and even though she worked on her letters when she could summa the words was too long or too strange for her to wrap herself around just yet. Yeah, Block was the fella she needed to see. Aside from her and Karra he were the only wun she knew what knew his letters near as good as the Old Man. Knew em a sight better than her and Karra in fact. Leanin on the Block, just like old times.

  36

  Before

  The alarm were raised. It were a night like none in the System ever seen, leastaways not since the whole place was just a few sticks and scraps drawn into a circle out in the dust to ward off the night and old Nick the badman. Nun of them old souls left to remember. Ghosts, Ghosts in the System was the word. They kilt the Old Man, the old bloke what done the healin and the seein. There was Ghosts walkin in the night, mayhap the Reckoner himself sum was sayin, and theyd hadda shot at the Old Mans chattels too but theyd not got to neither of em. It were a strange tale but it rung true and nowun knew exactly what it was the Old Man had been into but chances were it werent nuthin good. Werent the first time him an the Reckoner was mentioned in the same breath. The cando men was out with fire and steel, rakin the circles, checkin the unders as much as they dared, goin through the rubbish pile and they old tyre towers like theyd never been gone through before. Karra were the old blokes head of house an he’d seen em come an was out sortin em. They needed sum kinda counsel and sum of the old fellas and the wuns what been around a while was sittin in their own kinda cipher workin it out an Karra sat with em. The fire carriers was in the Stacks an the unders flushin em through. Ghosts in the system, Reckoner done come, and all them tales what had been brewin for years out there on the sand come home to roost at once and the panic were on em all. Sum was for headin out to the Glows and killin as many as they could afore they got kilt themselves and others was talkin about uppin sticks, was thinkin maybe itd be safer, there was rumours of great walls out there too high for Ghosts to climb. What about the unders sumwun countered and round and round it went and ciphers breakin out here and there, no sense to be had outta any of em.

  When the sun come up it broke on the body of the old fella, bein sent onwards as they sat. Soon he’d be on the burn pits, werent many ever escaped that these days, save them castouts that got the old justice an was left to die outside. The Orphan crouched there silent, just watchin fellas comin an goin, sayin their piece over the figure layin out on the table, the floor still specked with rust brown and the sill dripped and sprayed where theyd come up on him. The Old Mans face dint look like he were restin, not like sum of the others was sayin. His eyes was part open an dust had already settled on the creases in his face. Nah he werent restin, never had. Not while he still had worries clawin at him from out the long ago. Them worries he’d gifted to her, dust rest him. Might be the only fella in the world cared for her, lyin on the table. She felt a keen come up in her chest like a wound openin but she choked it inta a cough an sat still so nowun looked her way.

  Karra had the old fellas papers out and peeps was comin and goin, askin Karra just what he’d seen, and how many and where he reckoned theyd gone and the old feel of the System was ebbin in like the dust bein tracked through. That a bloke werent nuthin but what he could do with his hands, his guts an his head and they were treatin Karra less like cattle belongin to the old fella and more and more like the wun what was gunna take his place. Things moved fast an slow in the System, sumtimes all at once she noticed. Karra had them papers out and they sat like marks of what was an what he might be and the more advice he doled out while he sat over the body of the boss the more evrywun started to see that this might be the way it was gunna be. Could he heal? My word he could, trained by the best. There werent a whole lotta gold layin round, not really and werent it better to have the Orphan stay here and follow the trade. Could he do the seein? Yeah and sure enough he could make up a pretty story if he couldnt. Plus he’d faced off them Ghosts and kept the Orphan safe. The day wore on and deep in his bludy bandages Karra was flickin his hands this way and that and offerin advice that werent especially asked for but it were a head that spoke fair clear and werent too many of them to be heard. All along the Orphan sat quiet, still not cryin, never cryin, just watchin the body of the Old Man through the smoke blowin in and maybe just maybe quietly wonderin if things hadnt come up real good for the bald bastard. Dint matter no way or another though. It was what it was and on the table laid her second mother dead.

  37

  Before

  Its time you knew sumthin about me Orphan what nowun else knows. Yer letters is good enough and ya know yer way around the old maps and poultices and ya can count nearly as good as Karra an him the best numberman in the System. Wun day theres gunna be a reckonin for me cos dust knows I aint lived a clean life all the way through. I read that wun meself a long time ago. How long? A promise from the old times it was. I gotta make sure that all them useful things I collected my whole long life aint get lost and that all them pages I collected and stashed and stored dont become so much dust. I got enough readins here ya couldnt read em all if ya had a whole life free to do nuthin else. I been teachin ya so ya can help this place in the end and find that bad thing out the long ago but I been teachin ya too so that yer might pass this on yerself wunday if it dont happen to be yer lot. But theres sumthin that nowun knows and nowun should ever while I live and maybe not een after. I dont mean to give it to ya too straight Orphan but ya werent the first yungen I ever had in the house. I had Karra bring others off the block, boys an girls. Before that, before I had Karra there was others still but none of em made it to be grown.. You was the first wun that lived an the first one that took to the lernins. I came to a realisin too, after a while, that the System bein what it is, aint no place for a girl child. But thats why you gotta be a girl child from the start and stay that way. Yer dont even know what Im talkin about do ya? What do they call me out there? The old fella, the Old Man. The Old Man of the Mountains if they feelin kind. None of em even know why they call me that and they done forgot if they ever knew. I aint tellin ya for props that I was a bad bloke. I dint use my knowins for good all the time Orphan but in the end the promises I made to the wuns before me held me fast and I got meself back into line and did what I said Id do. I carried the weight. Still carryin. Just a ramblin old fella but yer a good wun, yer keep listenin dontcha. Siftin my words like all that muck just waitin for sum gold in there. Heres the thing Orphan, the System aint no place for a woman. Not now and not back then but sooner or later things gotta change. Theres a reason I cant be nuthin but the old fella but you gunna come up in a diffrent time. They shoulda been callin me the Old Woman of the Mountains all these years, ya unnerstand Orphan?

  38

  Before

  She stood outside the gate of the house, facin Karra square, framed in the iron he’d set up quick smart once the dust had settled on the Old Man.

  Yer out, time for ya to figger things out on yer own. Keep yer clothes and dont say I never gave ya nuthin. I dont got the time to be watchin ya and makin sure yer cleanin up proper these days. Got me own things to worry about, get me own help, dont need no leavebehinds from the Old Man. You been eatin off this plate alltoo many years for my likin.

  Been a while comin this day she reckoned. Hadda place to go, stacked with readins she’d taken out bit by bit over time. She werent stupid. And for all he reckoned he was carryin on what the old fella done he dint really care for them things. She’d been cleanin this long year gone, doin his numbers for him and wonderin just when and what was gunna fall on
her. Plenny a long night she’d stayed awake in the shelter. Got ridda anythin that mighta given him suspicions about the old fella too. There werent nuthin back there, no maps nor else that gave away the old fella not bein an old fella at all. Body burned, an just ash on the wind. She’d cleaned for her life the year past she reckoned. The floor, the shed, the bits of the house what Karra had taken over though he still tripped up an called em the Old Mans rooms bout half the time. Werent hardly no dust inside but she still wore another set of stripes from the cat across her shoulders. Cleaned and cleaned. Cleaned the stove too, funny thing about that. She tapped her hand against her pocket and felt the little charred bit of metal there. Kept it hidden since she found it. Looked for all the world like the old fella mighta chucked a quill on the stove fore the Ghosts come but that dint make too much sense and followin them thoughts all the way to the end werent nowhere she wanted to go while she was still in reach of the bald bastard. Orphans, even lucky wuns like her what stayed alive moren a little while, dint have no friends. She werent forgettin. Like or not, he was lettin her go alive and she were grateful for that.

  Go on, piss off then. Dont hang about here starin at me.