Dragon Noir (Pixie for Hire Book 3)

by Cedar Sanderson

She moaned. I shook her, and heard her gagging.

  Bella sat up slowly, and I put my arms around her.

  “Where are we?” she whispered.

  “Above… Earth. I think.”

  The voices got closer, and I opened my eyes to look around. One standard city access alley flanked with concrete walls, check. Rain, not tears, falling on us out of a narrow slice of gray sky. A dull orange dumpster with Budget Dumpster stenciled on the side of it.

  “Honey, I don’t think we’re in Oz anymore,” I muttered.

  She hiccupped and chuckled. “Ow.”

  “Can you stand?” I asked, trying myself. The dizziness seemed to be wearing off, at last. “There are people coming…”

  “And lying on the ground is a bad idea.” She agreed, making it to a kneeling position. Then her mouth made an ‘o’ and her hands flew to her head. “Lom!”

  I picked up on what she was thinking. The crown was conspicuously, well, a crown. Not that fighting leathers and partial armor were any better. I might, sort of, be able to pass for normal, but she was going to stick out like a sore thumb.

  So when they walked around the corner I was standing in front of her. She’d made it to her knees and was swaying, her face a greenish-pale. I whipped around to face them, and found myself staring up, up… up into a thick murder-hobo beard.

  “Hey.” He said, looking down at the two of us, the streetlight reflecting off his scalp. “Did you guys get mugged?”

  His shorter companion pushed up his glasses. “Great cosplay. But are you ok?”

  I weaved a little on my feet, confused at their reaction. I opened my mouth, but not a lot came out. It certainly wasn’t words, but at least it wasn’t bile.

  “Better come with us.” The big guy leaned down and offered Bella a hand. She was still wearing the crown, and he didn’t even bat an eye. He lifted her to her feet, and led her toward the mouth of the alley.

  “The hotel’s not even a block away. What happened to you two? My name’s Mike, and this isn’t a good place to LARP, you know.”

  I didn’t know what he was talking about, and the world was going ‘round and round again. But the big guy was walking with my wife, and I wasn’t going to lose sight of her, so I followed. He was saying something, and I only caught the tail of it.

  “… ought to be armed, for defense.”

  Bella shifted her mail shirt and showed him the holster. Black kydex looked funny with the leathers, but he just nodded approvingly before cautioning her, “Don’t show it off too easy, though.”

  She just shook her head, then staggered. He caught her elbow. “Hey! Easy there.”

  Mike caught up with them and took her other arm. “Seriously, you okay, ma’am?” He looked doubtfully back at me. “This guy drug you or something?”

  I blinked. Now, there was a thought.

  “Both of us.” I croaked. “That must have been it.”

  Bella looked over her shoulder, and then nodded, catching on. “We were in a bar and the muggles were teasing…”

  “Ugh. Some people.” Mike swiped a card against the door, and it beeped. He pushed it open. “Let’s get you into your room.”

  “Don’t have one yet…” I said, trying to play along and buy some time. “We just got in…”

  Yeah, from another world. This was hi-freakin-larious.

  “The hotel’s probably full.” The big guy helpfully pointed out. “We’re only up because Mike here couldn’t sleep, woke me up, and we went out for a scone.”

  “Wha?” Bella sounded as confused as I felt, but at least she was walking on her own.

  “Did they take your wallets?” Mike asked, looking perky.

  For a man who hasn’t slept, he had way too much brain power. I pretended to put a hand in my pocket, and not make it look like I was up to my elbow in nospace. I brought it back out with the slim leather fold I carried for emergencies Above.

  “I have mine.”

  “Let’s see what the front desk has, then.”

  What they had was a cancellation, and they were more than happy to take my plastic, in the name of Jim McCoy. I had ID, too. They didn’t ask Bella for any. She leaned on the counter after thanking our rescuers, looking like she might slide off onto the floor.

  “We need food.” I told the guy behind the counter, who didn’t seem phased at our appearance, either. I was beginning to wonder just what dimension we’d slid into.

  “Oh, sure, the pizza delivery ‘round here works twenty four hours when the comic con is in town.” He assured me.

  I looked at my watch. “I have no idea what time it is.”

  He laughed. “About four am. Fly in from another time zone?”

  “Yeah.” I took the card keys. “Thanks.”

  Supporting Bella now that I was a head shorter than she was took a bit of effort. It would almost have been easier to do a fireman’s carry, but first of all, that might have gotten more than funny looks, given I’d already been accused of drugging her, and secondly, I didn’t have the energy for it.

  We were drained to a scary level. I was beyond caring by the time I picked up the phone in the room and asking the boy on the other end of the line to send up three of his largest pies. Bella had collapsed onto the bed, and I started tugging on her boots. We’d gotten both our footgear off when the knock on the door came. My hand on the butt of my gun, I slid the door open a crack.

  “Pizza.”

  I opened it the rest of the way, offering him folded bills. He recoiled. “Don’t you gamers ever wash? Damn, that’s realistic gore you got there.”

  I bared my teeth at him and took the boxes. He split. I’d probably tipped him far too much, but again, didn’t care. I turned around to see Bella sitting up on the bed, her hands cupped together.

  “Look…” She held out her hands to me.

  I looked down to see a wren-sized bird, glossy black, looking at me with gray eyes. “Raven?”

  It cocked its head at me, but didn’t say anything. I opened the pizza box, and it hopped into it.

  “Hey!” I swatted, but it was pecking busily at the pepperoni and ignored me. “Oh, hell.”

  I lifted the piece it was standing on away from the rest of the pie, to the lid. “You keep that one. Don’t eat it all, you’ll pop.”

  Bella giggled around her mouthful. I shoved food in my mouth and chewed, eyes closed. Bliss. Warm, greasy heaven. I might try to eat until I popped, too. We did eat until we passed out in a pile of boxes. Not sure where the bird ended up.

  We’d both been awake and under great stress for far too long. For some reason, my brain had ticked into ‘hotel Above: safe’ mode. Maybe it was the guys in the alley. I don’t know. I do know we slept for hours. I woke up to Bella shaking me.

  “What?” I sat up, then grabbed my head. I had such a headache. “Ow. Ow… Are you ok?”

  She was looking clear-eyed, but pale. “Lom, where are we?”

  “Um.” I blinked. “Above? At a convention for comics?”

  “I know that. But the gate… where did it open?”

  “Er. Not sure. I mean, I think this is an American city. But otherwise?” I shrugged. “Is there coffee?”

  She nodded. “It’s horrible.”

  “I don’t care. Ichor of the gods.”

  I stood up, and blinked in surprise as she collapsed into the chair with a wail. “Oh, Lom! Raven... and the babies!”

  The little bird fluttered from its perch on the curtains into her hair.

  “There’s Raven.” I pointed. “And we’re going to go home as soon as I’ve had coffee.”

  She reached up and touched the tiny bird. Well, not so tiny. It seemed to have expanded with pizza. “Uncle?”

  I got my coffee. She was right, it was really bad. Burnt. Still, it had caffeine, and together with painkillers from my survival kit pulled from nospace, restored me to something more human.

  “Most of Raven stayed in nospace.” She looked up at me, her eyes brimming with tears. “That’s what
happened, isn’t it?”

  “I think so.” I held out my hand, and the bird hopped over amiably. “At least, I think I saw that. Hard to tell, there at the end.”

  “Is.. is this enough?” She wiped her eyes and made a face. “I’m crusty.”

  “There is a bath.” I pointed out. “And, my darling, this will have to be enough. The Wendigo… couldn’t be allowed to run loose.”

  She nodded. “I know, it’s just…”

  “You just lost your grandmother, too.”

  She nodded again, her chin wobbling.

  “If you want to cry?” I offered. I was holding a bird on one hand, and a cup of hot coffee in the other, or I would already be holding her.

  She shook her head again. “No, it’s okay. I’m going to wash. I have clothes stashed, at least.”

  “Good. I’ll go after you, then we can start figuring out how to get home.”

  She went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. I lifted up the bird on my finger and looked into the gray eyes. “Women. Did you ever figure them out?”

  The bird shook his head, and I sighed.

  Figuring out just where we were wasn’t difficult. I picked up the restaurant guide from next to the television. Which was handy, as I was hungry again. The room clock said the time was 05:00 which wasn’t terribly helpful, as that could mean we’d slept for twelve hours, or for twenty four. I doubted that it had only been an hour. A phone call later, I knew it was early evening in Salt Lake City, and another large meal, with beverages, was on its way to us. I knew Bella was anxious for home and the children, but I knew we needed to eat and recuperate. I was still getting a spinning sensation when I walked around much at all.

  I knocked on the bathroom door, which was oozing steam. “You okay in there?”

  “Yeah…” She opened the door. In all her glory, the towel wrapped around her head. “Your turn.” She was wearing an impish smile and nothing else.

  “Um. There’s more food coming. Plastic is on the table… but…”

  Her eyes lit up. “Food!”

  “Clothes,” I said firmly. “Then food.”

  She was munching when I got out of the shower myself. “Sorry I didn’t wait.” Bella apologized through a mouthful. “And champagne?”

  “Well, we never did have a traditional honeymoon.”

  She giggled. “We had a dragon, instead.”

  I sat down and snagged a plate. “And don’t worry so much about the babies. Beaker and Ellie can hold off the apocalypse, if need be.”

  She nodded. “I know. And my milk is… uncomfortable, but I expressed in the shower, so I feel better now.”

  “Can you manage that magically?” I was curious. She shrugged.

  “Am I going to need to? How long until we’re home, anyway?”

  “Well, the good news is, you can aim. We’re in the US of A. The bad news is, it’s Salt Lake City.”

  The bird, who’d been given his own saucer, bounced up and down with a faint chirp.

  “Raven may have aimed, then.” I frowned. “How are we going to travel with a bird? He’s too little to fly on his own.”

  A tiny gray eye glared at me indignantly.

  “Well, you are,” I told him. “I feel responsible for you, so shuddup.”

  Bella giggled, sipping champagne. “He can pretend to be a hair ornament.”

  Now she got the dirty bird eye.

  “We’ll rent a car and drive. The Oregon coast gate is closest to here, I think, there’s one in Cali but it’s all the way down south.”

  “Sounds plausible.” She sighed. “I never did learn enough about gates. I was doing that literally by the book, you know?”

  I nodded. “I thought that’s what you were doing. I was just trying to feed you enough power. Which is why we’re both eating like we’ve been on a week’s fast.”

  Her face sobered. “Who knows how long we were in transit, too. Lom…”

  “We will get home. Do you want to try a bubble to the gate?”

  She held out a hand, palm-up. A tiny flicker appeared, and then went out as she winced. “Ouch. No… No, there’s not much left, and I don’t want to wait to see how long it takes to recover.”

  “Done then, I’ll get a car.” I stood up and stretched, feeling the various aches and pains the fight had left me with. I’d found some scratches and a cut on my temple while washing, nothing major. The magic shielding had keep me from the brunt of it, and I didn’t see anything wrong with Bella other than the deep purple shadows under her eyes.

  “After you eat.” She pointed at my plate. I obeyed.

  It took the better part of three days for us to drive to the familiar pull-out in Oregon. It wouldn’t have taken more than two, except we were forced to stop and sleep for another full day to recover. The winding road was obscured with fog, but I knew right where I was going. Bella was already out of the car when I’d barely come to a stop, holding the backpack with the crown hidden in it. I looked at the keys, then tossed them onto the front seat. I’d picked up a burn phone and told the rental company where they could pick it up. They’d blustered at me, but I was in no mood to make long detours or walk for hours.

  “Ready?” It was foggy, but we knew the way. Bella held my hand and smiled as we took the short hike up the hill. When we reached the gate, I closed my eyes and saw the familiar shimmer of magic in the arch of the doorway.

  “Let’s go home.” We stepped into the gate, hand in hand.

  Epilogue

  We stepped out into the meadow where Bella had been horrified at her wings. It seemed like that had been a very long time ago. I let out a deep breath I didn’t even know I’d been holding. The black bird, who’d doubled in size as we passed through to Underhill, flew up into the air, and we stood there for a moment, the sun on our faces, watching him.

  “He’ll recover,” I told her. Perhaps myself. Losing Raven to the Wendigo would have seemed an uneven trade, if it hadn’t saved two worlds.

  “In time.” She sighed and squeezed my hand. “Home.”

  I bubbled us, feeling the twinge at the magic use. It was going to take us some time to recover, too. We landed in the library. No one was in sight, but as usual, there were voices in the kitchen. Bella headed the kitchen door, and as she got there, an unfamiliar young woman walked out with a baby in her arms, laughing as she bounced it.

  Bella held out her hands. “Linnea!”

  The young woman froze, her mouth open. “Ellie!” She shouted a second later. “David!”

  People came running out of the kitchen, and someone down the stairs. Ellie was about the third person out of the kitchen, and my heart fell as I realized what had happened.

  “Ellie?” Bella whispered, her hands falling to her sides. “Linnea? David?”

  The young woman, barely a teenager, who was clutching the baby to her chest gasped. “I’m Linnea.”

  “No…” Bella looked at the silver hair crowning Ellie’s head. “What? Lom…” I had her by then, and looked at the lad who was walking up. He looked so familiar, like a glimpse into a mirror, or perhaps a portal back in time.

  “Father,” He said, then held out his hand to Bella. “And you must be Mother. Your pictures…”

  Bella sagged into my arms. I caught her as she fainted, forewarned by her weakening knees. I looked up at my tall son, feeling like death warmed over.

  “How long?” I asked. I lifted Bella and carried her toward the couch, with him hurrying alongside. “She’ll be all right,” I said, trying to reassure my son as much as myself. Linnea appeared with a blanket in her hands and covered her mother as I arranged her comfortably on the couch. “She’s had a rough few days, and the fight damaged both of us…”

  “The fight? Days?” Linnea echoed, a look of confusion on her face. She looked so much like her mother…

  “It’s been fourteen years…” Ellie said, taking my shoulder in a gentle grip. “We thought you were dead.”

  The door opened, and I looked up
to see Devon, his face a little more mature. It hadn’t been that long, in Underhill time. He looked confused for a second, and then leaped forward with a joyful shout. “Uncle!”

  Dorothy was right behind him. “Lom! Bella… Oh, how wonderful.” She knelt next to the couch with me as Bella’s eyes opened. “Bella…”

  “Dorothy dear.” Bella took her hand. “How…”

  “I got here just about the time you two ripped a hole in the world.” The pixie was still sweet-faced and happy, but there was something… She went on. “The stories say there was a mighty blast, and everyone in the valley was knocked from their feet. Some are deaf to this day. But when they got up, and started to look, there was no more trace of you two than a unicorn and a few feathers.”

  Unicorn? That would be Brutus, and the stories had no doubt put a little polish on the poor old fellow. Dorothy looked up at Devon.

  “So we looked for you.” He shrugged. “But I had been right there, and, well, it didn’t look good.”

  I nodded. “What about Trytion?”

  Devon nodded, “That’s right, he was wounded right before the last bit, wasn’t he? He’s got a cane, but he’s never been willing to declare her…” He looked down at Bella, who was listening intently, “or you dead. So you are still the Queen.”

  Dorothy reached up and Linnea handed her the baby. “This is Bella.”

  The older Bella took the baby and cuddled it. Devon beamed proudly. “She’s ours, and well…”

  I blinked at them. Well, of course. Fourteen years.

  Bella was crying. “I missed you growing up…” She whispered. “I wasn’t here for you…”

  Linnea swooped over the arm of the couch and kissed her mother’s hair. “You were doing what you needed to do. We have always known that you were saving the world when you died, and… and you didn’t die!”

  I took Bella’s hand, my heart torn. I knew she would take it much harder than I did. Mothers feel things differently than fathers in my limited experience. “It is a happy ending. Even if it’s not the one we expected. We’re home.”

  She sniffed and held back the tears I could see brimming. She was my warrior queen. “Yes, we’re home.”