Finding Me (Snowy Ridge: Love at Starlight, Book 3)

by Kris Jett

  Evan felt a wave of disappointment wash over him. How could he have been so stupid? He’d totally misread the whole thing with Luci. The connection he’d felt with her was completely one-sided. She was into that guy, Cooper, and he her. Idiot, he cursed himself.

  Evan pulled some bills out of his wallet and tossed them onto the bar. Abandoning the remainder of his beer, he stood up and left Starlight.

  Chapter Nine

  As soon as the apartment door closed behind them, Gretchen took Patrick by both of his hands and pulled him toward her bedroom. She walked backward, side-stepping a pile of books her roommate had carelessly left on the ground. Luckily, Angie had said she was staying over at her fiancé’s that night so Gretchen knew she’d have the apartment to herself.

  Patrick’s eyes were locked with hers and his face only inches away. “Are you sure?” he asked in a low, gravelly voice.

  She could feel his warm breath on her face. With a final tug, she pulled him into her bedroom and they fell backward onto her bed. “I’m so sure,” she said and with a move rivaling a gymnast, flipped him over on his back and straddled his hips.

  “Wow,” he let out, his eyes shining. He ran his hands up her thighs and over her hips, inching their way up her shirt.

  She shuddered when she felt his hands on her bare skin. “Let me…” she whispered. She crossed her hands in front of her, grabbed the bottom of each side of her shirt, and pulled it up and over her head before tossing it to the ground. She had prepared for that evening and worn her laciest, see-through black bra.

  Patrick shot up on the bed and Gretchen’s legs hooked around him. He dove at her neck and peppered it with kisses leading up behind her ear. She let her head fall back in enjoyment and then felt his fingers hook both straps of her bra as he tugged it down off of her shoulders.

  “Whew,” Luci let out as she fanned herself and glanced around the coffee shop. This scene was getting pretty steamy and she could feel herself becoming flushed. It reminded her that it had been awhile since she'd had sex. Not that she was abstaining. No one would ever mistake her for a nun. Luci was just trying to be choosier and use more discretion in her romps. The over-the-top slutty persona she sometimes took on wasn’t a good look for her, especially in Snowy Ridge, and she knew it.

  Maybe Luci should move on to a more PG chapter and wait to write this chapter at home instead of in the middle of MoonBeans during one of their peak times.

  “Luci?” a female voice said from just behind her head.

  “Ah!” Luci yelled, slamming her laptop closed. In the process, she knocked her cup of coffee over and it dripped across the table top. “Shit,” she muttered. She quickly picked up her laptop so it wouldn’t get wet. Why was everyone sneaking up on her at MoonBeans lately? Maybe she needed to find a new place for her morning writing sessions. She looked around for napkins and then finally saw who had called her name. Becca Stillwell.

  “Here, let me,” Becca said. She grabbed a stack of napkins from the pick-up counter and brought them over to Luci’s table.

  Luci mopped up the coffee with intense concentration, her mind racing with what she was going to say to Becca. She certainly was persistent. Wynn had said Becca was creeping around Starlight the other night, too, trying to find Luci. Luckily it had been Luci’s night off. But now Becca had her cornered and there was no easy way out.

  “Can I sit?” Becca asked. She clutched her left arm across her body, grabbing onto her right, like she was feeling uncomfortable. Her light blue puffer jacket looked too tight on her and her long dark hair looked wavy and unruly and in need of a fresh cut. Last Luci had seen of her, Becca had shiny healthy hair that she had kept flat-ironed and neat. Her appearance was slightly weathered but she was still very beautiful.

  Luci’s eyes darted around the room and she tried to put together a good excuse for Becca not sitting with her right that very moment. Could she say she was working? It was true. Maybe she could tell her that she was right in the middle of a scene and she didn’t want to lose her train of thought. It was a viable excuse, but it would come across as bitchy, she was sure. No, better she just got this over with once and for all. She took a deep breath and gestured at the chair across from her.

  Becca shrugged off her coat and hung it off the back of her chair before slipping into the seat. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” Luci echoed, feeling incredibly awkward.

  Becca cleared her throat. “You look good.”

  “You too.” It wasn’t really a lie. She still looked good; just different than Luci had expected. Luci had seen pictures of Becca over the years, of course, but she seemed different in person. Maybe she used a lot of filters or photoshop on the ones she posted online. Luci could only imagine what Becca thought of her own appearance after so many years.

  Becca let out a strange giggle and glanced out the window of MoonBeans before returning her gaze to Luci. “Listen, I know you’ve been dodging me.”

  “What? Why would I dodge you?” Luci lied. She could hear the words coming out of her mouth and knew they didn’t sound believable. But what else could she say? Yes, I’ve been dodging you. I feel really uncomfortable even sitting here talking to you now so if you don’t mind taking your coffee to go…

  Becca smiled at her. “You always were a terrible liar.”

  Luci released the tension in her shoulders and let her face relax into a small smile. Of course, Becca could tell she was lying. They had been good friends for so many years. Things changed but they didn’t change that much. “Well, okay, I didn’t mean to necessarily dodge you or anything,” she begun, “it’s just that, I’m in a good place right now and I can’t handle disappointing one more person. I’ve screwed up a lot over the years and I’m trying to get it together. I just don’t think I could deal with a verbal lashing from you right now.” And especially not in the middle of one of her favorite places in town that she frequented daily. She prayed Becca wouldn’t cause a scene and humiliate her in front of the other customers.

  Becca’s smile faded and a deep frown line appeared between her eyebrows. “I don’t want to give you a verbal lashing.”

  Luci widened her eyes and tilted her head. “You don’t?”

  Becca shook her head. “No, not at all. I want to apologize. I was such a bitch to you last year.”

  Luci stared at Becca, dumbstruck. No one ever apologized to her. She was always the one making one colossal mistake after another and doing the apologizing. When Becca raged at her over Facebook last year Luci had just assumed she’d deserved it even though she wasn’t sure exactly what it was that Becca had thought she’d done. And now Becca was here apologizing to her and Luci was on the side of the being the one to grant forgiveness, which of course she would do. Luci waved a hand. “No, no, seriously, don’t worry about it at all. I’m sure I deserved it. You had said I ruined your life. That sounded like something I’d do,” she said, taking a stab at a joke.

  Becca smiled sheepishly. “You didn’t ruin my life.”

  “I didn’t?” Luci exclaimed, feeling a wave of relief. “Oh good, I’m so glad. I felt so bad that I could have done something so heinous to you. And I also wondered what it was that I had done.”

  “You’re so funny, Luci, I miss your sense of humor.”

  Luci smiled. She hadn’t meant to be funny in her response; she was only being honest.

  Becca shook her head again. “No, it was all me. I was being so dramatic. I lashed out at you because you were there and I was angry and I couldn’t lash out at who I should have focused my anger on. Todd and I were going through a bad time at that point.”

  “Really? You guys seemed so perfect,” Luci said.

  “Yeah, I thought so too,” Becca said, shaking her head sadly. “I had just come across some old messages on his phone and he’d let me think that you and he had had an affair when we were engaged and everything just sort of blew up from there.”

  “An affair?” Luci exclaimed. She racked her brain. She was sure she’d
never gone within two feet of Todd Stillwell let alone slept with him. “Never.”

  “I know,” she replied. “He eventually fessed up that he was lying. But at that point, I’d already lit into you and I didn’t know what to say. I was so humiliated.”

  Luci felt a surge of empathy for her old friend. “I can’t believe he did that. What a jerk.”

  “Well, he did a lot of things. Which is why we’re divorced now and I’m back here in Snowy Ridge.”

  “Divorced. Wow.”

  “Tell me about it. Twenty-six years old and I’m back home living with my mom and dad.”

  Luci smirked. “Well, I get that part.”

  Becca chuckled.

  “But no more L.A.? No more Hollywood parties? Do you know how jealous I was of your Facebook updates? Before you blocked me that was.”

  “Ha!” Becca let out.

  A few people turned to stare and Becca leaned in closer and lowered her voice. “All bull shit.”

  Luci was shocked. “Todd isn’t a successful screenwriter?”

  Becca rolled her eyes. “He’s…something. I wouldn’t call it successful. And you’re not likely to see anything he’s written on a big screen anytime soon. He’s on like, the bottom feeder level of writers at a teeny tiny independent production company.”

  “Shut. Up,” Luci said. “But your life looked so lush in all of those pictures. What about the big house and the pool? The fancy parties? The cars?”

  “I’m good with a selfie, aren’t I? Yeah, we were just above broke. We lived in a shitty one-bedroom apartment in San Pedro. I can’t tell you how many times I put dinner together with food I bought at the dollar store. It wasn’t exactly lavish.”

  “Wow. I’m so sorry, I don’t mean to keep saying that,” Luci said quickly, “It’s just, wow.”

  “I put up a good façade for a long time, you know? It feels good to stop pretending.”

  Luci nodded. “I know what you mean.” She considered sharing her own story with Becca, about her struggles living in New York City and her return home earlier in the year, but decided to bite her tongue. She wasn’t sure she could trust Becca yet. Up until ten minutes ago, she’d thought Becca hated her. Becca and she had been close in high school but then they began to drift after graduation, mostly due to distance. Lucy had attended Becca and Todd’s wedding five years prior but after that, their communication had remained strictly online, with Luci living on one coast and Becca on the other.

  The women sat in silence and Luci pondered getting another coffee.

  “Were you writing?” Becca asked.

  At this Luci lit up. “I am. I like to come here most days and get some work in.”

  “I remember you used to post about your writing on Facebook.”

  Ah, Facebook, Luci thought. She couldn’t even remember what she’d said about it but it was probably only positive. Luci had deleted the app off of her phone when she’d moved home so she hadn’t posted anything in forever. She didn’t want to see everyone she ever knew going on and on about their perfect lives when she was struggling with her own. Staying away from social media had actually been pretty therapeutic for her. She’d felt better not comparing herself to people she knew as they got engaged, had babies, and got promotions at their great jobs. The only social media site she frequented these days was Instagram, and she limited it to accounts that posted about writing, yoga, and travel photography. No friends or family.

  “I’m working on a book,” Luci offered.

  “That’s great,” Becca said. She seemed genuine.

  “Thanks,” Luci said.

  “Maybe you can come in and do a reading or something. Or a signing when you’re published.”

  Luci gave her a questioning look.

  “Oh, I didn’t mention. I’m working at Novel Idea now. I have been since I came back home. It’s nice. I like it.” Novel Idea was a cute little used book store on Main Street.

  “My sister, Jessie, lives in an apartment above there.”

  “I know, I see her sometimes. That’s how I knew you were home.”

  That was strange, Luci thought. Why hadn’t Jessie mentioned it?

  “Anyway,” Becca continued, “I’ll let you get back to your writing. I just wanted to say hello and apologize for the unnecessary drama.”

  “It’s fine, really,” Luci insisted.

  Becca stood up and slipped her coat back on. “I was actually hoping we could get together some time, you know hangout, grab lunch, or whatever.”

  Luci considered this. She certainly wasn’t experiencing an abundance of friends at that moment in her life. She’d lost contact with most of her childhood friends. Her New York friends had been sort of flakey and self-absorbed. They rarely even checked in on her since she’d moved. She had her sisters back in her life now, and that had been great. But she could use a friend in town for the occasional just-for-fun get together. “Yeah, sure. Give me your number and I’ll shoot you a text.”

  Becca waved as she left MoonBeans and Luci flipped her laptop back open. The reunion with Becca went much better than she’d expected. Luci was happy; it felt good straightening out that situation. Like she’d just banked a bunch of good karma points.

  Chapter Ten

  Evan strode out of the YMCA and headed for his car in the tiny parking lot, patting his face with a towel as he walked. He had gotten in on a pickup basketball game with a group high school seniors and it had been a great workout. Evan didn’t think he was old at twenty-seven by any means; but, being able to hang with a group of guys a decade younger than him was a minor ego boost. One of the guys even asked him if he played for his school. Evan didn’t want to tell the guys that it had been a while since he’d been in college so he’d only answered, “Nah.”

  “Evan?” a voice said as he was about to let himself into his car. Shit, he thought, hoping it wasn’t a client. He normally wore a suit every day and was self-conscious about one of his clients seeing him so casual in a tank top and Nike shorts. He wiped his face again and turned around.

  “Hi,” he begun and stopped.

  Luci was standing there with her long blond hair pulled up into a pony tail and sporting colorful leggings, a loose black tank top that showed her strappy exercise bra at the top and her thin waist peeking out on either side. She had a purple yoga mat tucked under her right arm.

  Evan sucked in his breath. Even though she had apparently just been working out, she was drop-dead gorgeous. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes were wide. She looked like she was about to shoot an ad for a protein bar or some organic coconut shampoo or something. She didn’t look the least bit disheveled like he knew he looked. He self-consciously wiped at his brow again, praying his deodorant was holding up and his face wasn’t too beet red. He should have showered at the gym, but it had just seemed so much easier to dart to his car and run home to clean up.

  “I thought that was you,” Luci said. “I’m not used to seeing you…”

  “Sweaty?” he interrupted.

  Luci smiled. “I wasn’t going to say that. I was going to informal. Normal.”

  “Ah, yeah. I do take my suit off every so often. Where are you coming from?” He casually leaned against his car and folded his arms across his chest.

  “Zen. The little yoga studio over there,” she said and pointed to a tiny store front in the strip mall nearby. “I usually take the noon class on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Friday.”

  “Nice,” he said, filing away that bit of information. “I’ve never tried yoga.”

  “You should.”

  “Maybe I will some time.”

  The two stared at each other in silence for a moment too long and then Luci shifted her weight and cleared her throat.

  “Well, it was nice running into you.” She clutched her yoga mat tighter and reached into her bag for her keys.

  Evan felt a flicker of panic. He didn’t want her to go. Not yet, anyway. “Wait,” he said. He wanted to talk more with Luci but there was also a nag
ging thought at the back of his head. He couldn’t help thinking about what he’d heard her sisters saying the other night at the pub about Luci and that guy Cooper. Evan didn’t have a chance with Luci. But maybe they could take a stab at being friends.

  “Yeah?” she said, sounding curious.

  He wracked his brain, searching for something to say. “How did your mom’s date with Bob go?”

  Luci’s eyebrows shot up and she twisted her lips. “Bob was a disaster. Long story.”

  “What? I can’t believe she didn’t like him. Now I have to know what happened. Do you have time to go grab a smoothie now? There’s a place just across the street. We can walk over.”

  Luci looked like she was thinking it over. “Um, okay, sure,” she said. “Just let me dump my stuff in the car and we can go.”

  Evan and Luci walked into The Green Gypsy and looked around. He’d never been in the shop before. He wasn’t much of a smoothie or juice guy but thought it might be something Luci would be into. There was incense burning somewhere in the vicinity that irritated his nose. He hated incense. The décor was earthy and the employees behind the counter looked like hippies with their long dreadlocks and nose rings. There was a big tray of wheat grass set up on the counter.

  “Ever been here before?” he asked Luci.

  Luci shook her head no.

  “Me neither.”

  The two studied the menu and then both settled on a Kale, Mango, and chia seed smoothie and then took a seat at a small table to wait for their drinks.

  Evan pulled a napkin from the holder on their table and wiped off some water rings that were left from the last customer he assumed. “So, what’s the story with our man, Bob?” he asked Luci.

  “Bob was…interesting,” she started. “My mom was really excited, you know? It was her first date since she was like a kid, younger than us girls. She bought a new outfit for the date and went and had her hair done. I helped her with her makeup. She was super cute. I really had high hopes that they would hit it off.” Luci crossed her arms and leaned on the table toward Evan.