by Sarah Kleck
Colin looked at me with interest. “And?”
“He says he isn’t happy because what he desires most will bring him to his doom,” I quoted Jared and felt incredibly silly for doing it. Sally confirmed my feeling by looking at me as if I had hit my head. But Colin only nodded. “What did he mean by that?” I asked.
“I can’t tell you,” Colin said. “But that’s the rotten influence I was talking about. Someone has persuaded him that what he most desires will kill him.”
“Kill?” I asked horrified. Death sounded rather different from doom.
“Sorry. I’ve already told you too much!” Colin said. But I was not yet willing to give up. There was something between Jared and me. I had felt it when I took his hand. He must have felt it, too. But why had he been avoiding me? Why had he disappeared each time?
“Has he . . . been promised to someone or something?” I was a little embarrassed because it sounded so cliché.
Colin laughed. “If only,” he said. “No. He hasn’t been promised to anyone.”
Suddenly, I was roughly grabbed by the arm and pulled away from Colin and Sally.
“There you are,” Felix said and squeezed my elbow tighter.
“Ow!” I blurted out and pulled my arm from his painful grip.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Felix said and looked at Colin. He didn’t sound as if he was truly sorry. But I wanted to avoid the two of them starting up where they had left off at Berry’s and asked Felix to show me around his residence. He hesitantly turned away from Colin to introduce me to some of his friends.
“I’m really tired, Felix,” I told him a half hour later. “I think I better go home.”
“Just stay a little bit longer,” he said, but I was already looking for Sally to ask her if she’d go with me. When I found her, she was deep in conversation with Colin. They looked so happy that I didn’t want to ruin their moment. So, as soon as I got rid of Felix, I ran up to his room, got my things, and headed home alone.
The farther I was from the residence, the sparser the street lighting became. I regretted my decision to go home alone after only a few steps. Although I told myself the darkness shouldn’t bother me, I couldn’t quite control my fear. On the contrary—it increased with every step I took deeper into the night. Even when I was little, I had always had the feeling that something was lying in wait for me in the dark. Watching me. Biding its time. Ready to pounce. Damn! What was I thinking? I could have slapped myself. What if that strange guy with the leather gloves were to appear out of nowhere?
Suddenly, I heard snapping twigs. I held my breath and felt a burst of adrenaline. On alert, I opened my eyes wide and picked up the pace. What a stupid idea to walk through town alone at night. I listened attentively to the darkness. Again I heard snapping. Was somebody there? Was somebody behind me? Beside me? More snapping. Now I was sure: there was somebody right behind me. I could sense it, almost feel their breath on the back of my neck. I had to get away. Right then. Whoever was following me, I knew deep inside me they had bad intentions. Someone roughly grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back. Panicked, I screamed. Pure adrenaline shot through my body again and burned in my blood vessels. I knew it was too late to run. Only one thing left to do: fight! I quickly turned around, ready to attack.
“I didn’t frighten you, did I?” Madison said in her fake sweet tone. “I’m so sorry!” Her voice was drenched in scorn.
Okay. I breathed in and out a couple of times. Calm down, it’s only Madison, trying to scare you! Just Madison. Nothing more than a girl! Just Madison.
“I’m warning you one last time,” she said, her voice suddenly very serious. “Keep away from Jared or you’ll regret it!” I stared at Madison with wide eyes. Her facial expression hardened.
“Can you see this?” she asked, pushing up her glittering gold bracelets to reveal a tattoo on the inside of her wrist. “Can you see this?” she repeated even angrier and held her wrist in front of my face. I shrank back after looking at it more closely. Even in the pale-blue moonlight, I could see the pattern made by the dark-blue lines on Madison’s skin: a sword and a staff crossing in the center, below a blue circle with three symbols. Damn! It was the Calmburry crest. It looked exactly as I remembered it but without the curved and intricate edging that usually surrounds a crest. Without it, it looked more like a symbol or a seal but it was unmistakably tattooed into Madison’s skin.
“What the—”
“Do you know what this is?” Madison asked, switching to her sweet voice. “That is the symbol of the bond Jared and I share,” she said with conviction and angrily stared at me while waving her tattoo in front of my face. But now that I’d overcome the first shock, my heart wasn’t pounding in my chest and I could think clearly again, and I started to feel enraged. What was this redheaded bitch thinking, ambushing me in the middle of the night and frightening me like this? She wasn’t going to get away with it as easily as she did when she tripped me outside the lecture hall.
“Jared and I belong together! Is that clear?” Madison’s voice now sounded strangely high-pitched as she recognized that I was no longer afraid of her. Instead I was on the verge of wringing her neck.
“Don’t you think I should have a say in this, too?” Jared? Was that Jared? I turned around and there he was.
“J—Jared, I . . .” Madison stuttered. She hadn’t counted on him being here.
“I’ve told you before,” he calmly started. “Nothing will become of us—we will never belong together!” he continued, deliberately echoing Madison’s words. “Leave Evelyn alone!”
“But I . . . ,” Madison mumbled. “She has . . .” She looked helplessly back and forth between Jared and me.
“Go home!” Jared finished the argument and turned to me. His look was incredibly gentle. “May I accompany you to your dorm?” he asked. “Just to make sure no other crazy person attacks you,” he added and cast a last angry look at Madison, who was about to leave. A silly nod was all I managed for an answer. Even in the darkness, the perfection of his gentle and distinguished facial features was captivating. All of a sudden, I remembered what it felt like to hold his hand. The tingling throughout my entire body. The warmth. The goose bumps. The eerie magnetism that emanated from him . . .
At that moment, I noticed that my hand, as if on its own, had risen to his, and I pulled it back at the very last second. My face grew hot, and I knew I had turned beet-red. I sincerely hoped the pale moonlight would mask the color. I only dared to look at him when my pulse was normal again. I was astonished to see that Jared was gasping for breath in the same way I was, and he looked at me with wide eyes. Then he blinked several times.
“Let’s go,” he said.
“Okay,” I answered, eager to control my breathing and keep up with his long strides.
While we hurried through the dark streets, Jared and I didn’t say a word to each other. Though I had to concentrate on keeping up with his pace while not slipping on the slushy street, all my thoughts circled around him and our previous encounters. Suddenly, Jared stopped. I looked up and saw we were standing right in front of the entrance to my dorm. How did he know where I lived? He hadn’t asked me, and I hadn’t told him.
“Good night, Evelyn,” he said and turned.
“Jared!” I said a little too loud for fear that he might disappear without a trace again.
He stopped but didn’t turn around.
“Jared, I . . .” Damn, what did I want to say? “Thank you.” It was all I could think of at that moment. Not that I wouldn’t have been able to deal with Madison on my own but I was still grateful to him.
“No problem,” he said and walked away into the darkness.
CHAPTER 7
“BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP,” my alarm cried to end my short, almost sleepless night. I pressed the snooze button and rubbed my swollen eyes so I could open them at least a little to
see how late it was. Just how many nights was I going to cry through?
After Jared simply left me at the door, a sheer unbearable desperation had overcome me. A strange, cruel longing—one I could not put a name to—possessed me, rendering me unable to think clearly. All I knew was that it had something to do with Jared—that I felt this longing for him. Again, tears welled up in my eyes. Pull yourself together, you damned crybaby! I felt bitter and got out of bed.
After showering and dressing, I tried to reduce the swelling of my cried-out eyes with cold water, with only moderate success. I gave up a few minutes later and left the building with swollen eyes. Just as I was out the door, the phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked at the display.
“Hi, Sally,” I said in a hoarse voice.
“Evelyn!” she said angrily. “Where the hell did you disappear to yesterday? All of a sudden you were gone, and Felix said you wanted to go home with me. I was worried!” That was a lot of accusations all at once for a Friday morning.
“I was tired and went home,” I explained.
“Alone? Why didn’t you ask me? I would have walked with you.”
“You were getting along so well with Colin. I didn’t want to interrupt,” I said and took a few steps toward the lecture hall.
“Yes, I . . . ,” Sally stuttered, embarrassed. “I mean, we . . .” I wasn’t used to Sally being speechless. I was pretty surprised.
“What, you . . . ?” I asked, amused.
“We . . .” Sally took a deep breath. “Colin and I kissed,” she suddenly burst out. “Oh man, Evelyn, I am just so struck by him!”
I couldn’t hold back my loud laugh. “You don’t say.” I was happy for the two of them—they seemed made for each other. They could hardly take their eyes off one another at the party. I began to think about the past evening and suddenly remembered how I’d held Jared’s hand and he’d simply left me standing there without turning back. The yearning and desolation overcame me again. I breathed heavily into the phone.
Sally recognized my sudden change in mood. “What’s the matter?” she asked. “Did something happen last night?”
“No, no. Everything’s okay,” I lied in a very unconvincing way. I could almost feel Sally raising her eyebrows on the other end. “Tell me,” I said, trying to distract her, “what’s with you and Colin?” Sally hesitated. She knew I was keeping a secret. “Come on. I want all the filthy little details,” I egged her on with feigned cheerfulness. When I arrived ten minutes later at the lecture hall, I had heard all about Colin and Sally making out at the party.
“I have to get off now, my lecture’s starting,” I said. “What’s with you? Don’t you have lectures?” I asked after noticing that Sally, unlike me, did not appear to be under pressure.
“I’m taking the day off,” she said. “Colin and I want to meet later for coffee, and I don’t know what to wear.” I shook my head, grinning. That girl was simply incorrigible.
“Have fun,” I said.
“Thanks. I’ll call later. Bye.”
When I’d hung up, there was a message on the screen. There were seventeen calls since yesterday evening. Four were from Sally. The other thirteen were from Felix. In ten-minute intervals. To avoid being interrupted by an overconcerned call from Mrs. Prescott, I had turned my phone off while studying and hadn’t felt it vibrate because I had been crying so much. Felix had called me thirteen times. Wasn’t that a bit over the top? Or was he worried about me? It wouldn’t have been without cause, considering what happened on the way home.
“Evelyn!” Speak of the devil. Felix sprinted toward me, almost slipping on the muddy path. “Where the heck were you last night? I thought you wanted to go home with Sally, but I found her making out in some corner with that idiot Sullivan—and no trace of you!”
“I went home alone.”
“And I called at least ten times. Why didn’t you answer?” Felix was talking so loudly and excitedly that some of our classmates turned to look at us.
“I didn’t hear anything, sorry.” It was thirteen times to be precise, I wanted to add. Still agitated, he shifted from one leg to the other but then abruptly stopped.
“What’s the matter? Have you been . . . crying?” he asked after interpreting my swollen eyes correctly. But I didn’t feel like getting into that conversation or justifying myself for something that was none of his business.
“Calm down, Felix. Everything’s okay. I didn’t want to bother Sally and Colin, so I went home alone. Nothing bad happened.”
“I was worried,” he said. His tone reminded me of a father telling his child that he was disappointed and did not approve of whatever the child had done. What was all this about? Was he trying to guilt me?
Anyway, it was time for class, so I went in, sat in the last row and tried to be as inconspicuous as possible. I didn’t want to attract more attention with my swollen eyes than I already had as I’d stood with Felix yelling at me. As expected, Felix sat right beside me and dropped clumsily into the chair after folding down the seat in an elegant motion. I tried to get into the lecture a bit, ignoring Felix. Personality Disorders was one of my favorites. I had been looking forward to it all week . . . Suddenly I was confused because Felix had never sat beside me in this lecture before.
“Don’t you have Personality Disorders on Tuesdays?” I asked, which immediately rattled him.
“No . . . I . . . Yes, but I wasn’t able to follow it too well, so I thought I’d better listen to it again,” he stuttered. It was obvious he was lying.
“Ah,” I said and left it at that.
Felix did not leave my side over the next three lectures, which were fortunately the only ones that day. Although I was not happy with the tone he took with me in the morning, I still tried to be natural around him. He was probably just worried about me because I hadn’t picked up the phone. After all, we were friends and that meant we cared about each other—didn’t it? In any case, I decided not to read anything into it.
When we left the lecture hall after the seminar on psychotropic substances, my anticipation for the coming weekend rose, so I was in a good mood when Felix and I went downtown for lunch.
“What do you feel like?” he asked with a smile when we arrived in the old town.
“No idea. Pick something,” I said, not that hungry.
“Then let’s go to Nam Ho, they have the best egg rolls in town.”
“Okay,” I said and let Felix guide me to a small restaurant decorated with Chinese characters. We were greeted by a broadly smiling, almost toothless Chinese man at the counter. Felix ordered two egg rolls and a large bowl of fried noodles with vegetables. Then he guided me to one of the small tables in the angled room, which was hardly larger than my dorm room.
“The best egg rolls in town,” he repeated, full of anticipation. “You’ll see.”
Although the prospect of Chinese food didn’t excite me just then, I tried to let Felix’s good mood infect me a little.
A few minutes later, the toothless Chinese man placed egg rolls and a mountain of fried noodles at the center of the table so we could help ourselves.
“Bon appétit,” Felix said and bit into a steaming hot egg roll, burning his mouth in the process.
“Ow, dey’re hod,” he mumbled with a full mouth and attempted to swallow. I couldn’t help but giggle.
Suddenly, the tinkling of the chimes above the door announced the arrival of new customers. A group of young men about our age entered the small restaurant laughing and joking loudly. Looking more closely, I noticed they were all wearing the same jackets. Probably some student society thing, I figured.
“Shit. Frat boys,” Felix said when he noticed the new arrivals and confirmed my assumption. His previously elated mood was gone. Now Felix appeared downright hostile. It was as if he’d been replaced by an angry double.
A tall dark-h
aired guy at the center of the group drew my attention. Although I didn’t know his name, I knew immediately that I’d seen him before. He was the one who’d given Colin the kick under the seat in the lecture hall when he giggled because of me. He was one of the guys who ran with Jared and always cast me a poisonous glare when we met. I looked him over, and he spotted Felix and me at the small table in the corner. He immediately stopped laughing and cast a penetrating glare in our direction.
I really lost my appetite then.
“Say, is that dumb fucker staring like an idiot at you or me?” Felix asked and raised his voice so everyone in the restaurant could hear him loud and clear.
“Pardon me?” said the dark-haired guy, who left the group and took a step toward us.
“Was I talking to you?” Felix said while slowly rising.
“You’ve got a really big mouth, MacMillan!” said the dark-haired guy as he came closer to our table.
“Better watch your own mouth, Mayflower.”
I was surprised by Felix’s words and shrank back, then looked at him, feeling suddenly distant. Except for the noise of the bubbling deep fryer in the kitchen, the restaurant was dead silent. Even the old Chinese man had taken off. Just then, the chimes at the entrance tinkled again. I looked to the door and opened my eyes wide with fright. Jared!
Seeing him immediately quickened my heartbeat. My breathing became faster, too, and my knees went soft as . . . Stop! I didn’t have time right then to stare at him foolishly. After all, hell was about to break loose here, and I couldn’t afford to be distracted.
Jared only needed a second to see what was going on.
“Aiden, leave the little shit alone,” he said in a calm voice and put his hand authoritatively on the shoulder of his dark-haired companion. “He isn’t worth the trouble,” he said to drive his point home.
“Oh, how nice!” Felix mocked. “The mama’s boy convention has assembled. What’s on today’s agenda? How to buy a university degree?”