Surprise

by Robin Roseau

  She had thought of everything.

  "If you get a booby prize, you have to wear it," Heather went on. "Unless you can talk someone else into wearing it for you."

  "Does this hat count as a booby prize?" I called out.

  Heather laughed. "Sure. But if you earn a spanking, it goes to whoever is wearing the hat. Good luck. We all know you'll make a dash for the door."

  Even I laughed.

  I asked Cristina to pick first. She pointed to the little gift she wanted. Heather set it on the counter after glancing at the bottom. Then I picked mine. "Cristina," she said, "you open yours immediately. Jane, yours is for later."

  "Whew," I said. "Not a booby prize."

  Heather laughed.

  Cristina got a small pair of earrings. "Those are not a booby prize," Heather said, "so you don't have to wear them."

  "But I love them, so I think I will," she said. "Thank you, Heather."

  * * * *

  We had more dancing and more games. I danced with anyone who asked, and once Heather realized I'd dance if asked, but I wasn't doing any asking, she kept me filled with a steady supply of partners.

  The games were all based on partners, and Roy and I lost the third game of the night. Heather fitted us each with a long pair of ears. They slipped over our real ears, but they were so long, they actually poked up over our heads, sort of like a jackrabbit. Roy laughed. "They're like the night elves from WoW."

  "From what?"

  He just grinned.

  Which was odd. Roy was gay. Roy was really, really gay, and exceedingly particular about his appearance. But he didn't mind wearing the ears, and so I was a good sport about mine, too.

  I had to admit, I was having a good time, and when Heather asked me to dance, I thanked her for the party. She beamed. "You're welcome, Jane." But then she looked nervous. "I don't know how you're going to feel about the nine PM entertainment."

  "Are you intentionally embarrassing me?"

  "No."

  "Then I'll be a good sport." But I was worried what she had planned.

  Nine PM rolled around. I had danced with almost everyone at least once and continued to have a good time. Heather took the ears from Roy and me. I tried to keep the ears and lose the hat, but she just laughed at the suggestion.

  "It's time for something a little different," Heather called out. "Would Cristina and Howard step up here, please?" Howard was the other person I hadn't known and one of the few I hadn't danced with. The two moved through the crowd to stand on either side of Heather. "Cristina and Howard are master hypnotists," Heather said. "We're going to have a little bit of a hypno-off! I'll let them explain."

  Heather stepped away to stand next to me. She grabbed my hand, and when I looked over at her, she looked excited.

  But Cristina captured our attention. She turned to Howard. "You!" she said, pointing at him, "are going down!"

  "In your dreams," Howard said. "Did you read the rules? You might be one of the premier hypnotherapists in the region, but I am a successful stage hypnotist. They aren't the same."

  "Look around, Howie," Cristina said. "The room is full of lesbians. Whose voice do you think they would rather hear?"

  Howard laughed. "I'm not afraid. But maybe we should tell all of them the rules."

  Together, they turned towards us. "We're going to have a little warm-up session," Cristina said. "We're going to bring up the birthday girl and a few more volunteers, and then one of us will invoke a trance in them. Howard and I will also both be picking our teams."

  "If one of them picks you," Heather said from beside me, "you should be a good sport."

  "We're then going to have a competition between Cristina and me," Howard said. "We will each move to a practice room, and we get fifteen minutes to induce trance in our team."

  "Then we'll bring out whoever we tranced, and we take turns convincing them to do things for your amusement."

  "After each pair of turns, you all vote which of us won that round," said Howard. "It can be for the funniest stunt or the one that is least in character for the person who did it."

  Heather looked over at me, but I shrugged. "You're not worried?"

  "What if you can't hypnotize someone?" I asked loudly enough for everyone to hear. "I know for a fact I can't be hypnotized, and I don't believe in hypnotism, anyway."

  "Which is it?" Howard asked. "You don't believe in it, or you believe some people can be hypnotized, but not you?"

  "Um. I don't know if anyone else can or not," I said. "But even if they can, I think when stage hypnotists make people do weird stuff, it's fake."

  "There are prizes," Heather said. "There's a good prize for the winning hypnotist. Everyone successfully hypnotized gets to pick a prize." She chuckled. I imagined there were more booby prizes waiting. "But to make sure no one fakes it, the hypnotized subjects on the winning team all get a special booby prize. A very special booby prize."

  "Oh, god," said a few people.

  "I am pretty sure no one is going to fake it," Heather added. That earned her chuckles.

  "Jane," said Cristina, "will you cooperate? I admit, someone who actively fights hypnosis almost certainly can."

  "Sure," I said. "I'll do my best."

  Cristina smiled, and Heather whispered to me, "Thank you. This will be fun."

  "All right," Howard said. "We need chairs for everyone." At that, Heather kept me by her side, but everyone else scrambled around to collect the more portable chairs in the room. Two were set up in the front and the rest arrayed as an audience. Then Howard said, "Good. Birthday girl, who did you want to hypnotize you."

  "I'm sorry, Howard, but I liked Cristina's voice."

  "That's fine," he said. "Come on up."

  He stepped away. Cristina waited for me, and we shook hands as I reached her. It started as a normal handshake, but then she lingered in an odd fashion. I found myself staring at her. After a moment, she told me, "Look here", and she touched the back of my hand. I looked down and stared at my hand.

  She began talking to me gently while she led me to the comfortable-looking chair that had been picked for me. I sat down, and Cristina knelt down in front of me. "Just continue to look into my eyes and listen to my voice," she said. "Ignore anything else going on."

  She had pretty eyes to go with her amazing voice, so that was easy. She smiled. "When we were partnered earlier, you did so well. You listened to my voice and did exactly what I said, and we won the game because of it. It was easy to do what I ordered, because you trusted me. And I proved your trust in me, didn't I?"

  "Yes," I said.

  "I have a gentle voice," she said. "Don't I?"

  "Yes."

  "Do you think my eyes are pretty?"

  "Yes."

  "Just keep looking into my eyes and listen to my voice," she said. "But if you decide you want to close your eyes, you may do so. When they grow tired, or when you decide you want to close them, just let them close naturally. You will still hear my voice."

  She continued to speak to me, her words spoken carefully and easily. While she was talking, she leaned closer to me, leaning on my chair a little, and slowly stood up so that I was looking up at her.

  "Remember you may close your eyes," she said. "They are probably growing ready for you to close them, aren't they?"

  "Yes," I whispered.

  "Then close them, if you want."

  So I did.

  Cristina continued to talk to me. I heard motion to my left, but I ignored it, listening to Cristina.

  "That is Heather," she said into my left ear. Then she spoke into my right. "She was looking forward to this, too. I'm going to speak to both of you now." Then she moved back to my left side and spoke a little more loudly. She told us to relax, and then to think about our toes, relaxing each one. Then our legs. She worked her way up our bodies, and I thought about relaxing every part.

  "It feels good, doesn't it?" Cristina asked.

  "Yes," Heather and I said together.


  "I want all of you to close your eyes," Cristina said. "Close them gently and listen to my voice. Good. Very good. Now, there is someone seated beside you. Reach over and hold hands with that person. Some of you will find yourself holding hands with two people."

  I reached over and found Heather's hand, and we clasped lightly.

  "It feels good to hold this person's hand," Cristina said. "And so you don't mind that the hand you're holding is coated in super glue, and now you're stuck together. You won't be able to let go until I use the dissolver."

  I heard a few nervous giggles from the audience. I couldn't believe Heather would trap me like that. She'd been trying to hold hands with me forever, and now she glued us together. I stiffened a little, but Cristina spoke into my ear.

  "It feels good to hold hands with someone you like," she said. "Jane, Heather is your best friend. You've known her forever. You enjoy holding her hand."

  I nodded lightly. I guessed it wasn't so bad, if Cristina would melt the glue later.

  Cristina went on like that for a while. She tied balloons to our hands, lifting them to the ceiling, and they didn't fall down until she cut the strings. She helped us relax further, and she reminded us how much we enjoy listening to her voice.

  She moved away for a while, and I heard her whispering to some of the others, but I couldn't hear what she said. Then she came back. "Howard and I have chosen our teams. Jane, holding Heather's hand makes you feel safe, doesn't it?"

  "Yes," I whispered.

  "Then you want to stay glued to her for a while longer, don't you?"

  "Yes."

  "Good," she whispered. "Good. In a moment, we're going to help you stand. You will keep your eyes closed, but we'll go to the next room and talk quietly for a while."

  "All right," Heather said. I sat quietly, not responding.

  It was only a moment or two. I felt hands on my free arm, and then more hands on the left, the hand that was glued to Heather. The hands helped me to stand. I went where I was led.

  * * * *

  I didn't know how many people Cristina had selected for her team, but she talked to us in her gentle voice. "We're going to win," she said. "We're the best team, after all. You're all safe, and it feels good to help people laugh and have a good time." She gave us a pep talk for a while, then helped us become more relaxed. She talked to each of us in turn for a while.

  I really liked it when she whispered into my ear. Then she took my hand, my right hand, and whispered, "I'm going to ask you some questions, Jane. These are easy questions, and you can say yes or no. If the answer is yes, squeeze my hand. Do you feel good?" I squeezed her hand. "Do you like listening to my voice?" Squeeze. "You're feeling very sleepy though, so you won't remember anything that happens until I wake you up again."

  It was some time later that she spoke into my ear. "Wake up, Jane, but remain deeply, deeply hypnotized. Open your eyes slowly."

  I did. We were back in the main dance hall. I was still holding hands with Heather, but I stared straight ahead. There were about ten people sitting quietly, watching us and smiling. A few held their hands over their mouths. I thought they looked funny.

  "Jane," said Cristina. "Can you let go of Heather's hand?"

  "No," I said. "She glued us together!" I offered a glare.

  "I'll dissolve the glue," Cristina offered. "Close your eyes." I did, and then she was brushing something across my hand. Slowly she peeled our fingers apart, then she dried my hand with a towel.

  "You can open your eyes, Jane," she said. "You have discovered I am a very, very good hypnotist. Tell everyone how good a hypnotist I am."

  "I didn't think hypnotism was real," I said. "But Cristina proved me wrong. She has such a deeply relaxing voice, I was just lost in it." I went on and on for another minute or so, extolling Cristina's virtues as a hypnotist.

  "Jane, every time someone from Howard's team says anything bad about me, you will stand up and yell, 'Cristina is an amazing hypnotist!' Will you do that for me?"

  "Yes, Cristina."

  "Good. Very good, Jane. It will make me feel wonderful every time you say that. Now, Howard isn't a real hypnotist. He's a fake. His team members aren't hypnotized at all. He's paying them to pretend. So whenever they do something that gets a good laugh, you'll stand up and yell, 'Fake! Fake! Fake!'"

  "All right," I said. "He shouldn't cheat!"

  "No, he shouldn't. You can relax now, Jane. It feels good to relax."

  I settled into my chair and watched what would happen next. Cristina moved behind me, and then she whispered to each of us. To me, she said, "This feels so good, Jane. It feels so good to listen to my voice, and you become more deeply hypnotized every time you do something I ask you to do."

  Howard moved in front of his people. I looked over and saw he had Clare, Molly, Sienna and Andrew. Sienna was one of the instructors at the studio. I didn't know her well, but she was fun to watch dance.

  Howard moved to stand beside Sienna. She stared straight ahead, but I could tell she was faking being hypnotized. I thought it would be obvious to everyone. Howard talked to her for a minute then said, "Sienna, you have become forgetful. You can't even remember your own phone number. But I want to take private dance lessons from you. I need to call you to make arrangements. What is your number?" He pulled out his phone to punch in her phone number.

  "Um." She looked confused. "I think I forgot, Howard. I'm so forgetful."

  "Maybe you wrote it down somewhere," he said. "When I can't remember something, sometimes I write it on my hand. Did you write your number on your hand?"

  She looked at her hand, then the other, turning both over, then shook her head. The audience laughed.

  "I need your number," Howard said. "I can't call you without your number. I bet you wrote it somewhere private so it wouldn't be in plain sight. Is it on the bottom of your feet?"

  She looked on her feet and the inside of her arm. She pulled up her shirt and looked at her belly. The audience laughed, but it wasn't a good laugh, and so I sat still.

  "Where could you have written it, Sienna, somewhere no one would look unless you really trusted them?"

  "I bet I wrote it on my boob," she said. Then she began looking inside her shirt. At that, the audience really started laughing.

  I jumped to my feet, pointed at Sienna, and yelled, "Fake! Fake! Fake!"

  That generated more laughter. I decided that was also for Sienna's fake performance, so I yelled, "Fake! Fake! Fake!" again. The audience laughed, and then Cristina was behind me, whispering to me.

  "Thank you, Jane. You may sit down now. Everyone knows Sienna is faking it."

  "She's faking it!" I said.

  "Just like she does with all her lovers," Cristina said.

  "She fakes it with her lovers, too," I added.

  Howard told Sienna she was right; her number was written on her boob, but it was too dark to read it inside her shirt. So she pulled her shirt off and peeked inside her bra. She read her number off to him.

  There was nothing written there. I knew she was faking it.

  Sienna sat down, and then Howard talked to Andrew. He told Andrew he had just won the Mr. America contest, and he should pose for all of us so we could admire his body. Most of the room laughed while Andrew stripped down to his undies, and they laughed louder while he started showing us his muscles. I jumped to my feet and yelled, "Fake! Fake! Fake!"

  Cristina whispered to me it was okay; everyone could see how scrawny Andrew was and wouldn't possibly believe he won the Mr. America contest. I sat back down.

  Then it was Cristina's turn. She stepped over to Roy. "Roy, did you know I was a medical doctor?"

  "No," he said slowly.

  "You have a very rare condition. You are the first man I've ever treated who is susceptible to breast cancer. So you need to learn to do self examinations. You can do this any time you want, like when you're showering, but we should start now. Take off your shirt."

  Roy slipped out of his shirt. Cristi
na spoke to him about feeling around, looking for anything that felt unusual. "You're looking for bumps, lumps, or anything that feels different from the rest of your breast," she said. Soon Roy was feeling everywhere.

  And the audience was laughing.

  Then she turned to Destiny, Heather, and me. "Roy isn't doing it quite right. He's your friend, so you want to make sure he catches any signs of cancer early. Show him how you examine yourselves."

  The three of us stood up and crowded around Roy. I slipped my fingers inside my blouse and began doing a self-examination. Destiny explained how she does her own.

  "Roy, I think you found a lump," Cristina said. "But you're not sure. Ask Destiny to check for you."

  Roy turned to Destiny and pointed to a place on his chest. "I think there's a lump, but I'm not sure. Will you check for me?"

  Destiny moved closer and began feeling Roy's boobs, looking for the lump.

  "Destiny, you think you found something, but you need Jane to confirm for you. Jane, you should help Roy and Destiny."

  * * * *

  Clare became a movie star in a James Bond movie (fake). Heather's dance studio was doing poorly, and she had to turn to hooking for tricks, asking the cars driving by if they wanted to have some fun. Howard gave Molly a check for ten thousand dollars (I was sure it was for faking being hypnotized) and told her to hide it where no one would look for it. Then he whispered to her, and she hurried to me.

  "Jane, you're my friend, right?"

  "Yes, Molly."

  "I need to hide this check. Will you help me?" I nodded, and she shoved the check down the front of my shirt to rest inside my bra. "No one will ever find it there," she said.

  That got a really big laugh, and I yelled, "Fake! Fake! Fake!"

  Then Heather played a mean trick on me. She put super glue on my finger and got me to stick my finger in my ear. I couldn't get it out. But Cristina knew a trick. If I poked my nose with another finger, my first finger would become unstuck. But Heather put glue on that finger, too, and my finger got stuck to my nose. It took me a long time to get it unstuck.

  But then I got sleepy. Cristina told me I could sit down and close my eyes. She told me to sleep, and so I slept. But after a while, I heard her whispering to me. "Jane," she said, "It's time to wake up a little, but you're still sleepy. We're friends, aren't we, Jane?"