Out of Beat (Boys of Fallout Book 1)

by Cassandra Giovanni

  “No,” he replies, sighing. “She’s from Hawaii. Originally, she was a fan, but we hit it off– so she travels wherever the tickets are cheapest for her when we’re on tour. It’s usually a last minute thing and totally random for location.”

  “Do the guys know?”

  Aaron looks at his hands. “No. Sometimes it feels serious. Sometimes it doesn’t…but I think that’s because it’s hard for her with Gabe, you know? He’s never had his father around, and then I’m this transient guy who she can’t really count on. I care about her and him a lot, but it never seems like it’s going to go any further than texts and hurried last-minute visits for a few hours. It works for Meredith and Joey because that’s the way it’s always been. They have a rhythm– and you and Danny might as well be married. I haven’t told the guys because I just always feel like any second she’s going to end it. Whatever it is.”

  He stares down at his hands, and I knock shoulders with him.

  “Have you ever asked her what she thinks this is?” I ask, and he leans back.

  “You think I should?”

  “Yeah, and you should tell the guys. Secrets suck,” I reply, sighing as I look over at Danny. His mouth is covered and his eyes keep darting to me. I can see the tiniest lift of his lips over his hand and my body warms.

  “You know youtwo could tell them,” Aaron says, blinking at me.

  “I just don’t know how either of them would react.”

  Aaron shrugs. “It’s just going to be worse when it comes out that this has been going on for years.”

  “We haven’t been dating for years,” I reply, shaking my head at him.

  He purses his lips, pointing at me. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Fine,” I reply, putting my hands up. “I get it.”

  “Let’s make a deal — when you tell them I’ll ask Erika what this means to her,” he says.

  “Deal,” I reply and his body tenses. “What?”

  “She could just say it’s nothing.”

  “Traveling to wherever you can to see someone doesn’t seem like nothing,” I say, squeezing his knee. “But if it is, maybe that’s not what you want, right?”

  “Yeah,” Aaron replies, but his voice is faint.

  “We’re here,” Zack calls from the front of the bus. “Did you two fall in love back there?”

  I stand, and my lips curl down. “That’s gross.”

  “Yeah,” Aaron says, followed by; “Hey!” I look up at him, and he nods. “Yeah, you’re right.”

  “Oh, right,” Zack says, and his eyes move to Danny before he heads off the bus.

  I glance up at Aaron, who shrugs and then follows.

  “What were you two talking about?” Danny asks as we fall into step behind them.

  “Whether or not you and I should tell them,” I say. “And Zack just proved he’d be an ass.”

  “Seems like he’s always an ass lately,” Danny replies, and a part of me agrees. We don’t have time to get into it because the guys are ushered into a room with a crap ton of cameras three times as expensive as mine. I stand behind, chewing my lip and thinking about how these photographs would be way better for the album than mine. The guys sit on stools for the questions, laughing and teasing each other as they answer them. It’s just as natural as when I’m taking their photographs and the guy behind the camera hasn’t even spoken to them. I can see the pictures as they’re taken in the viewfinder preview, and they’re amazing. My stomach churns, and I shake my head, tuning back into the interview that’s happening in front of the camera.

  The guys are showing off their favorite tattoos and explaining the reasons why. Zack’s is some creepy ass pumpkin he calls a ‘Zack-o-lantern’, Joey’s is the owl, Aaron’s is a lotus and Danny’s staring at his feet when the interviewer gets to him. The camera zooms in on him, and he flips his inner arm to reveal a bird — a skylark. My mouth drops open. I’ve never noticed the tattoo before, and I realize if he crosses his arms the bird lays directly over his heart, and mine seems to be pounding so loud I can hear it.

  “I got this one right before we left for the road when we were teenagers,” Danny explains, and his eyes drift to mine, a soft smile on his lips.

  “And what does it represent?” the girl interviewing them asks.

  “Something from home I always want to have close to me,” Danny replies, and I can’t help the smile on my lips until I catch the glare coming from Zack.

  “Ah,” the girl says. “Which brings me to the next point– Danny basically already answered this, so I’ll leave this one open to the rest of you. Have you ever been in love?”

  “Ha!” Joey tips his head back, waving his hand. “You’ve got it all wrong. Danny’s never been in love– he got that for my sister– Skylar. She’s his best friend.”

  Danny’s face is white beneath his scruff.

  “So no love for you, Danny?” she asks, cocking her head at him.

  He coughs, and then scratches his neck before nodding to Joey. “He’s been in love with the same person since he was sixteen. He’s the only one of us in a long-term relationship.”

  “That we know about,” Zack says, his voice sharp.

  “You been keeping a secret from us?” Aaron cuts him off, his jaw tight.

  “Nope, I have no secret relationships. But I’ve been in love before,” Zack replies and his eyes go to me. I raise my eyebrows at him, and he winks at me.

  “News to me,” Aaron says. “Unless you’re referring to yourself, in which case we all know about that.”

  “Ha ha,” Zack shoots back.

  “What about you Aaron?” The interviewer interrupts their mini-spat which would seem like they’re joking around to anyone but me.

  He freezes in his chair and looks down at his feet balanced on the rungs of the stool. His eyes come back up, and he shrugs. “I’m not really sure. Hopefully, I’ll find out. I think I’d like to be in love.”

  The girl who’s interviewing them practically swoons over in her chair, and I laugh to myself as Aaron’s eyes find mine. He shakes his head at me, and I bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud. The laughter dies in my throat as I catch Joey staring at me from the corner of my eyes. He glances over at Danny and his thick eyebrows knit tightly as if he’s suddenly questioning his answer about Danny and me.

  Because Danny never denied what the interviewer said.

  Chapter 28

  Everyone is quiet as we make our way back to the tour bus, and I can feel Joey’s eyes burning into me and Danny’s backs. I want to say something about the tattoo to Danny, but I’m utterly petrified that Joey’s onto us and the dark look in his eyes said he didn’t approve of the idea. Danny gives me a weak smile as he opens the door to the bus, and when I don’t return it, he reaches out and squeezes my shoulder. When we’re inside Joey sits down on the ground next to the sitting area, propping his arms on his knees. He looks up at me and licks his lips before running his hand through his hair to the back of his neck.

  “Is there something you need to tell me, Skylar?” Joey asks, and his voice is deep– it reminds me of the way Dad talks to me when he knows I drank the last of the milk and put the carton back in the fridge.

  I laugh, eyes darting to Danny. “What are you talking about?”

  Joey looks over his shoulder to where Danny is sitting behind him. His voice is flat as he asks, “Danny?”

  Danny’s cheeks puff out, and Aaron flops down next to him, crossing his arms as he nods to Zack. “I think the important question is who the hell Zack’s ever been in love with. I mean when the fuck was that?”

  I try to hide my relief as I take a seat next to Aaron. He looks at me from the corner of his eyes and gives me a tiny nod.

  “Yeah, Zack — when were you in love?” I ask, looking at him as he leans against the kitchen counter.

  His eyes come up from his feet to mine, and he pushes out his lower lip with his tongue before replying, “It’s not a been as much as it is an am. With you.�
�

  My mouth drops as I stare back at him.

  “Oh, no,” I say, my head bobbing in an erratic back and forth motion. “You’re not in love with me. You think I’m hot. That’s one thing– love’s another. You don’t look at me…”

  Zack nods to Danny and my eyes slip to him. His chest is heaving as he glares at Zack. The next words out of Zack’s mouth make my head snap back to him. “Like he does.”

  I blink at Zack as my breath catches in my throat. I’m speechless, but apparently, Danny’s not.

  He has a sharp inhale before he replies, voice harsh. “Yeah, like I do.”

  Zack scoffs, head jerking back. “Of course. None of us had a shot.”

  “That’s not it.” Danny’s voice deepens to a growl. Zack purses his lips and raises an eyebrow, instigating him further. Danny continues, “You don’t get it.”

  “Yeah,” Zack says, signaling with his hands that he thinks the whole thing is stupid. “You’ve got some secret connection.”

  Danny cuts him off. “She knows my secrets.”

  “Oh, yeah, and what could those be, Madman? The names of the dudes you buried?”

  Danny stands, fists in balls and steps forward. My throat constricts as I watch in shock. I’m not prepared for what comes out of Zack’s mouth as he steps forward, so he’s in Danny’s face.

  “You mad, bro?” Zack asks.

  My brain finally kicks into gear, and I stand, pushing them apart before Danny can snap. Their chests push against my palms.

  “Stop!” I say, and I step in between them to face Zack. “You don’t get it, which is exactly why you would say what you just did.”

  “Then why don’t one of you explain?” Joey asks as he looks up from the floor between Danny and me.

  I bite my lip because I don’t know what to say. I can’t explain without revealing Danny’s secret and it’s not mine to tell. My eyes drift to Danny and his nose flares. He looks up at the ceiling, pinching his brow before looking down at my brother’s questioning eyes.

  “Sky was there when my mom used to get loaded and beat the shit out of me. She was there for me when my mom threw me down the stairs and wrecked my face– while you guys thought I was beating someone else up I was trying to figure out a way to escape my mom. Sky saved me from that.”

  Zack curses before throwing his hands up and walking off the bus. Joey puts his head into his hands, running them over his face before looking back up.

  “You could’ve told one of us,” he says, and Danny shrugs.

  “I couldn’t tell anyone — Sky found out by accident,” he explains before heaving a sigh and nodding to the door. “Go talk to him?”

  I reach for his hand and squeeze before going to find wherever the hell Zack went and prevent him from catapulting off of the cliff that was telling me he loved me. I find him sitting at a picnic table behind the building the interview was in.

  “Hey,” I say to his back. He looks over his shoulder, but his gaze never finds mine as he nods in response. I sit down and put my hand on his forearm. “Please, don’t be mad.”

  He looks at his hands in front of himself and sighs. I’ve never seen Zack this serious, and it makes my chest tighten. “I get it, Sky, I do. I know you two have always had a thing. I guess I just hoped somehow I read it wrong…and maybe there’d be some spot for me in your heart. I know I’m an ass…and probably hard to love.”

  “That’s not true–” he cuts me off with pursed lips and raised eyebrows. “The hard to love part–not the ass part. You are an ass.”

  That gets me a little smile.

  “You’re in my heart, Zack. All of you are. Danny just has a different portion of it. Without you guys I suffocate. You’re the only friends I’ve ever needed. What girl gets as lucky as I have– three amazing brothers who’d give up the world for her?”

  “And then there’s Danny,” Zack adds as he looks out into the distance.

  “Danny and I…”

  He shakes his head. “You don’t have to explain. You’ve always been there for each other without having to say a word.”

  “Yeah,” I say, and I chew the inside of my cheek as silence spreads between us.

  Zack’s hand goes over mine, and he looks at the way our fingers fit together before glancing up at me. His green eyes are sad, and that makes me go cold. “I do love you, Sky. If I could love anyone, it’d be you.”

  “I don’t doubt that you love me. I just don’t think it’s the way you’re saying it is.”

  His hand drops to the edge of the table, and he looks down at the ground, cracking his jaw. “I just don’t know that I’m ever going to find that now, you know? It’s different–we have this fame, and I’m grateful for it, but there’s no normal for us anymore. How can I find something normal when that doesn’t exist for us? What girl is going to want a boyfriend who’s hardly there– how am I supposed to get to know someone? I mean, you and Danny always had that– even years apart, and you can come back together like there wasn’t a minute without one another. And Joey has Meredith. Plus, I’m pretty sure Aaron’s asexual.”

  I burst out laughing at that because I know exactly where Aaron’s been. “I kind of doubt that one.”

  “He is hot, maybe I should just think about swinging his way,” Zack says, smirking over at me.

  “Yeah, I could totally see that. You two are the straightest guys I’ve ever met that can act completely into one another,” I reply and his lips spread open to a full smile.

  I reach up and ruffle his now red stripe in his black hair. “You’ll find someone who can handle your ass, but it’s certainly not me. You’re far too wild.”

  He leans over, and for a second I think he’s going to try to kiss me, and then Danny’s really going to beat the shit out of him. Instead, he seems to think better of it and kisses my cheek.

  “You’re probably right. I’d break your ass,” Zack replies before jumping down from the picnic table.

  My mouth hangs open as he signals for me to jump onto his back. He stares back at me, blinking and finally I give in. When we get onto the bus, Aaron’s playing a video game up front, slamming the keys as he stares at the TV like his eyes can blow up the zombies he’s fighting. I glance down the hall to see Danny with his earbuds in as he lays in his bunk and Joey’s in the lounge area playing the military game I hate.

  I glance up at Zack who shrugs before heading into the lounge. The bus roars to life, and I wonder just how long the next two days are going to be on this bus.

  Chapter 29

  The guys are civil to each other as we head to our next stop in Missouri and pay way more attention to Ethan and Paul than the two are used to. I think it’s making them uncomfortable, mainly because the guys are harassing them to an inch of their lives about a set they haven’t even seen. When we stop to pick up groceries, I’m stuck with four moody boys who slunk around the store like kicked puppies. Between band management work and planning my next longboard video, I can’t get a second alone with Danny or Aaron to figure out what the hell blew up while I was off the bus. When we get to the venue the guys pile off, still moody and I still have no clue what the hell is going on.

  My stomach twists, because honestly, I don’t know if Danny’s decided that I’m not worth all of this shit and that’s why he hasn’t even attempted to talk to me privately. He hasn’t held my hand under the table or tried to steal a kiss. I put my head in my hands as my cell phone rings– Facetime Request — James McFearson.

  My hands shake as I slide the button across the screen and it loads to show the lead singer and frontman for Makeshift Chemistry. His green eyes sparkle against the dark brown of his messy hair as he smiles at me.

  “Hey, Sky! Thanks for fitting me in. I wanted to meet in person– well, kind of person, before everything starts to get wicked busy,” he says, and his eyes widen as he smiles again. He already seems like he’ll smile as much as Danny.

  My stomach twists, and I push the thought away before replying, “O
f course. I’m super stoked to get started with you guys. I know everyone probably says this, but I really do love your music.”

  “Ha,” James says, looking at the ceiling. “Not exactly everyone likes our music– but thanks. I saw that video you did with Kill Me Softly skateboarding. That’s totally sick.”

  My face blushes. “Yeah, the guys talked me into it. Turned out pretty well.”

  “Sure did. So I wanted to go over what we have for social media and how we’re going to coordinate based off of you being on the road with KMS. You have all that hashtag crap down, and I’m clueless. We’ll still post to our personal accounts, but having you manage the band accounts would be epic,” James says, and he pulls his lip ring into his mouth as he waits for my response.

  “Of course, that’s what I’m here for,” I say, and we discuss the details. I take notes on the accounts, passwords and what the guys would like to see before arranging for a call at the end of the week to get introduced to each of the members of the band. By the time I’m done it’s almost time for the concert. I grab my camera and head backstage to find the guys sitting separated from each other on their cell phones. I’m about to call their bullshit behavior when they’re signaled to go on stage. The guys all file out and Danny hangs behind. He pulls me into his arms, and relief floods my body. I look up at him, and he smiles before taking my face in his hands and kissing me slowly.

  My chest tightens and he winks at me before heading onto the stage. I follow, navigating my way around in the shadows as the guys start the show out. I try to get into the photography, but the guy’s chemistry and stage presence are shot. Danny’s a second off beat, Zack looks like he’s murdering his guitar, Joey sounds fine but looks angry, and Aaron is pacing back and forth as he slaps his bass with a bit too much enthusiasm. They’re hardly interacting with each other, and I can’t take how bad it’s making the concert for the fans.

  All because of me.

  Whatever is going on between them is all because of me. I’m supposed to bring them together and get them to work better, but I’ve failed. I bite my lip as I lower the camera and stare at the band with my own eyes knowing that they’re so much better than this.