by Jean Adams
“Jenna, sweetheart, for a woman who gives the impression of being a woman of the world, there’s a lot you don’t know about your sex.”
She bristled at his insinuation. “Are you calling me ignorant?”
He attempted a half-smile. “I wouldn’t dare. Innocent is the word I’d choose.”
She frowned and took a sip from her coffee cup to ease the ache in her throat. “Anything wrong with that?”
“Nothing at all. I didn’t mean to ruffle your feathers, but wherever you go in the world, hang on to that innocence for as long as you can.”
His words hung in the air between them like smoke on a still and windless summer afternoon. And as much as she liked being in Lucas’ company, right now she needed to be alone. To think, to settle the myriad thoughts running through her head.
She could ask him to take her home now, but she didn’t want to be anywhere else, didn’t want to be with anyone else. She wanted to stay in this warm, safe cocoon, with Lucas, the only person in this whole city who shared her shameful secret and didn’t judge her. She wanted to curl up here and cry all the tears left unshed over the years, to be comforted by a man who understood.
She dragged in a long slow sigh. “I think I will go to my room for a little while. Do you mind? I need to think.”
“Of course not. Take all the time you need.”
“But if you’d rather take me home and get on with some work. I know you have a deadline and—”
He shook his head. “Some things are more important.”
If any man knew how to make a girl feel good about herself, this was the man. He’d welcomed her, nurtured her, comforted and protected her. If she didn’t have other plans, she could easily allow herself to fall under his spell.
Resolutely, she cast the thought aside. “I’ll see you later then.” On wobbly legs, Jenna pushed to her feet, walked as calmly as she was able into her room, and closed the door behind her.
****
Lucas started to clear the table then stopped, pausing in thought. If he could go into that room, be with her, hold her in his arms, he’d be in there like a shot. Tears didn’t faze him. But she needed time to herself. Time to be alone with the thoughts that must be barreling round in her head right now.
She’d shared with him this morning. Something intimate. Trusted him with knowledge about herself no one else knew.
Hell, he hadn’t meant for her to have to drag up all that old pain, all that deep hurt.
Me and my big mouth.
When he’d seen her fighting the tears, it was all he could do not to grab her, hold her slender, quivering body close and kiss all her tears away.
But she wouldn’t want him to. He wasn’t an earl, or a duke, or a movie star, so he’d better forget thoughts like that.
Then again…
So, she really wasn’t the woman she made herself out to be. Hadn’t she admitted that? Hell, even the day they met she’d said something about being patient with certain people. About them covering, what did she call it? Perceived inadequacy. He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck as the thought came back to him.
He carried on clearing the table. Funny he should remember that after all this time. From the way she was thinking now, she hadn’t meant only him. She’d had something to hide that day. Now he knew what. Perhaps that was what the name-dropping was all about. Maybe it made her feel important. She’d needed to make herself feel important.
For the first time since they’d met, he didn’t feel out of his depth with her. Like he wasn’t the loser he’d believed himself to be.
If he treated her like a woman instead of the goddess he’d set up on a pedestal, how would she react?
He checked himself. Better forget those thoughts, Nelson. Her grand plans will never include anyone like you.
She had an inner strength that had encountered a blip. Once that hurdle was out of the way, it’d be full steam ahead again with her dreams. She deserved them.
He put the clean dishes away and switched on his computer, his thoughts still with Jenna in the guest bedroom. He tried to work, but his thoughts kept wandering, so he let them have their way. If she had her sights set on a duke or whatever, hell, her determination alone would probably get her one.
One way or another, Jenna Blake would conquer the world.
He just wished he could conquer it with her.
Chapter Eight
Jenna came out of the bedroom having dressed in gray slacks and a soft, light blue blouse. “Hope it’s all right to borrow these. Everything else was a little too dressy.”
Lucas glanced up from his computer. “They look great on you.”
“I didn’t mean to be this long. I suspect it’s getting toward lunchtime.”
“Hey, no problem.”
“It was inconsiderate of me, especially after you showed me such concern.”
He half smiled and logged off. “You needed taking care of. That was quite an ordeal you put yourself through.”
She gave him an apologetic smile. “Maybe, but it’s no reason to take up all your precious time.”
“Jenna, it really is okay.” He got up from his chair and moved to sit beside her on the sofa. Her heart rate picked up speed at his nearness. “I called my garage. They’ll come tow your car.”
“Oh, thanks. That’s great.”
“Now, would you like to stay for lunch, or would to prefer to get home?”
She hesitated. “I’m ready to go.” She wasn’t, but she couldn’t hang around here getting in his way all afternoon, as much as she wanted to.
“You probably need a little time alone.” Lucas’ words and the rattle of his car keys when he picked them up cut into her thoughts.
She shook her head at his gesture. “You don’t need to drive me home. You’ve done enough. I’ll grab a cab.”
“I wouldn’t hear of it. I’ve packed your uniform. It’s by the door. So when you’re ready, we’ll go.”
Lucas stood and slipped on a thick, white fisherman’s rib sweater, the kind of sweater that made a man look sexier than was good for a woman’s already-messed-up mind. The kind that made her want to slip her hands underneath it and make contact with warm, male skin.
She didn’t want to leave this place. She wanted to stay with this beautiful man who treated her like a princess. But she had to go sooner or later.
Jenna stood too, and took a slow, heavy step toward the door. Dear heaven, she didn’t want to leave. She turned quickly and held out her arms to him. “Hold me, Lucas.”
He hesitated briefly, then slipped his arms around her and pulled her into the circle of his embrace. “Come here. I should’ve realized you needed a hug.”
Not only a hug.
Being held by Lucas felt wonderful. Like she was loved. That a friend cared enough to take her in his arms without question.
He eased her close against his chest, rubbing her back while she clung to him. “It’s okay. You just need a little time to think this through. You can’t do it here. You need some quality time to yourself, in your own space.” His chocolate-colored eyes scanned her face.
“I don’t want to be by myself.” She could easily stay here all day, wrapped in the comfort of his arms, absorb some of his strength.
“I can understand that.”
“You can?”
He eased away a fraction and smiled into her eyes. “Sure. What is it? Are you scared because you opened up to me when you didn’t mean to?”
When she shook her head, a strand of hair fell over her face. “No. No, of course not. Thank you for listening. For not judging me.”
“Hey, what’s to judge?” Lucas eased the strand back to its rightful place behind her ear. “Maybe it’s the travelling. Fear of the unknown. Or maybe you’re anticipating the report you might, or might not, get from Claude.”
“I don’t think it’s any of those things. I’m not sure what it is. I just feel…”
She couldn’t finish. Oh, she knew what it was al
l right. It was being here, in the comfort of Lucas’ arms. The closeness of his body. He smelled of spicy aftershave mixed with the scent of musky male. It made for a heady mixture, and it was messing with her mind, not to mention her insides. That confused her, but she didn’t care. She’d been so wrapped up in her plans she’d left no room for spontaneity. It was about time someone messed it up.
When his lips grazed her cheek it took her by surprise, but it was like the spark igniting the blue touch paper. It was all she needed to give her the courage she’d been seeking. One arm snaked around his neck, the other clung to his waist.
For long moments he gazed into her eyes, then slowly lowered his head. Their lips met amid a tangle of arms.
He moaned against her lips. His arms tightened around her. Jenna followed suit, wanted to feel the whole of his body along the length of hers. She edged closer.
Lucas deepened the kiss, his tongue teasing the seam of her lips. Jenna knew instinctively what he wanted and opened to him, their tongues meeting in a sensual dance of joy.
Automatically, her hands slipped under his thick, white sweater, just as she’d craved earlier, and lifted the thin T-shirt underneath. The muscles of his back quivered under her fingertips, the skin pulling tight, like fine silk stretching over steel.
Strong hands arced over her back, pressing her closer.
“Oh, Lucas.”
At her impassioned use of his name one arm came round her shoulder, while his other hand slipped under her blouse to cup her naked breast.
He laughed lightly on his breath. “No bra?”
“It’s still damp.”
His eyes glittered with amusement. “You should’ve said. I could’ve put it in the drier.”
“I didn’t think. Besides, there was no point turning on the machine for one piece of underwear.”
“Jenna?”
“Yes?”
“What the hell are we taking about the drier for?”
She smiled into his eyes. “Don’t know.”
Lucas slowly slipped the buttons from their fastenings and the blouse fell open, revealing her breasts to his eager gaze.
It was the first time she’d ever allowed a man to get this intimate with her, but instead of feeling strange or awkward, it felt very natural. Very right.
The blouse slipped over her shoulders and his eyes drank her in as it fell to the carpet at her feet, exposing her nakedness to his full scrutiny.
Emboldened, Jenna tentatively lifted up the white sweater. He raised his arms so she could divest him of it. The sweater was quickly followed by the dark red T-shirt, joining the growing pile of clothing on the floor.
Lucas eased her against the wall and lowered his head to suckle one breast while caressing the other with his hand. “You taste of wild honey.”
Jenna closed her eyes, giving herself up to the joy of his warm mouth on her breast. Her mind swirled with pleasure. The world was spinning out of control and she’d been caught up in the middle of a whirlwind with no way of breaking free. Neither did she want to break free.
Her fingers combed through the crisp hair at his nape. Then, just for a moment, the world stopped spinning and she floated on a gentle, tranquil sea. He held his body hard against hers so she could feel every part of him all the way down to her toes. Her insides melted when she became aware of the hard muscle between his thighs pushing against her.
She moaned with pleasure as his hands moved to her backside, holding her tight against him. Lost in the magic of his touch she pulled her stomach in tight when one hand moved around front and slipped inside the waistband of her pants, allowing him easier access to her heat.
“I’m hot. Get them off me.”
Outside, a car backfired.
As though scalded, he suddenly withdrew his hand. “Jenna, if this doesn’t stop now, I can’t be held responsible.”
Had he lost his mind? She didn’t want to stop. “Make love to me, Lucas.”
He rained little kisses over her face. “I’d give anything to make love with you, sweetheart, but it can’t happen. Not like this.”
She dragged in a breath of frustration. “Why not?”
“Jenna, you’re seriously straining my resolve. Are you forgetting the future you planned for yourself ? The big plan for your life?”
“Damn my plan.”
He chuckled. “And I hate to admit it, but there’s a problem.”
She wanted to scream. “What problem?”
“I don’t have any condoms.”
“They don’t always work.”
The spell was broken. Jenna froze. Heaven help her. Lucas didn’t need reminding of that.
“Come on,” he said quietly. “Let’s get you home.”
If he’d thrown a bucket of iced water in her face, his meaning couldn’t have been clearer. Dear heaven, what was she doing? Where had her mind been?
Thank the stars Lucas was a gentleman, and stronger than her.
And what of Lucas? What would her reckless behavior have done to him had they carried it to its logical conclusion? Was he prepared to go through the heartache again of losing a child?
He took a step back, bent to retrieve her blouse and handed it to her.
Her hand shook as she took it from him. “I’m sorry, Lucas. I didn’t mean anything—”
“I know, and I’m sorry too. I should never have allowed it to happen, but hey, no need to apologize.”
“I want you to know I don’t usually behave like that. I don’t know what came over me.”
“Then I’m flattered.” Lucas slipped his clothes back over his head. He rested his palm against her cheek. “After what you put yourself through earlier, I guess you’re confused and, maybe feeling a little lost.” He picked up the bag he’d packed for her and opened the door.
“Then you’re not angry with me?”
“Of course not.”
“You’re a beautiful man, Lucas Nelson.”
She wished she could stay in this warm, comfortable place, but as soon as the door closed behind them she felt like a small boat, set adrift, away from the safety of the shore, its anchor rope cut.
As they made their way down to the underground car park, Jenna couldn’t help but chastise herself. Was it her mother all over again? Hadn’t her mother warned her men were only out for what they could get from a woman? That no matter how strong her feelings, never to let any man scupper her plans, as her own had been?
Lucas was right about one thing: she’d felt confused. And so alone.
He took her arm and led her toward the car. Jenna got in and he placed the bag at her feet. “Hey, don’t look so down in the mouth.”
“I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry I came on to you like that.”
“No problem.” He meant it by the easy smile he gave her, and the way his eyes crinkled at the corners. He set the car in motion.
“So, uh, how will you get to work on Monday morning?”
The everyday reality of his question snapped her out of the thoughts teetering on the edges of her mind. Silly thoughts. Wandering thoughts. Dangerous thoughts. “To tell the truth, I haven’t given it a lot of thought. I’ll probably have to ring Claude. Get him to pick me up.”
The traffic light turned red. “He lives on the other side of town. I’ll take you in if you like. Your car should be ready by then so I can pick you up after work and take you to the garage.”
It surprised her he’d want to see her again. Her heart gave a double kick. “That would be wonderful, but what about your work?”
The light turned green and he set the car in motion again. “I’m doing nothing at the moment that can’t wait an hour or two.”
“Well, if you’re sure. I wouldn’t want to disturb some important project.”
“You won’t be. It’s no more than I would’ve done for anyone.”
Well, that put her in her place. He’d told her in no uncertain terms what just happened between them meant nothing to him. He was just being a typ
ical man. Taking what was on offer, until he realized the folly of it, remembered just in time and pulled back. Well, she had to be the same, friendly without being overly so.
When they reached her condo, having driven in near silence all the way, he stopped the car and let the engine idle. Ready for a quick getaway no doubt.
Jenna turned to him. “I’ve been thinking about what you said. I know you have a downer on women right now. But I’m not usually that...forward. Honest.”
He peeked at her sideways. “Glad to hear it.”
“Look, I don’t know what happened to you that second time, and I don’t want to know if you don’t want to tell me. But, Lucas, you should be aware not all women are out to get you.” She chanced a small smile. “Not even the ones who come on to you.”
He laughed and gazed out the front window. “Yeah, well two women can’t be wrong.”
“Yes, they can, and they were. Terribly wrong.”
He turned back to her, his face unreadable. “I think maybe you should go in now.”
“Before I say something nice you’ll regret, you mean?” She opened the door and made to get out. But on sheer impulse, she stopped and turned back to kiss him on the cheek. As she leaned in he turned his head to say something at the same time.
Her kiss landed full on his delicious mouth.
The universe reeled again.
It was an awkward kiss as kisses go, but Jenna had no intention of pulling out of it, despite what happened earlier. His hand came up to grip her shoulder. The strong fingers of his other hand wound into her hair, holding her head firmly against his.
Unable to resist the gentle pressure of his lips, she rested her knee on the passenger seat and leaned into him, balancing precariously.
Her stomach tightened, her heart thumped. Inside this little world, this little piece of heaven, all traffic noise faded.
Lucas took control, holding her tight as though he’d never let her go. As the kiss deepened, she had no fear of falling. His beautiful mouth closed over hers and she willingly gave in to it.
Loath to move away, her arms snaked around his neck to anchor herself in place.
He moaned and turned his body further into her as his tongue once again found the seam of her lips. She opened for him and he plunged his tongue into her mouth.