“Is that why?” Seth asks. “I thought you guys were fancy spokespeople or something.”
Irritation coils inside me. “That’s only a small part of it.”
“So what’s the rest?”
“We follow a sacred calling. We are beacons of light in a dark world that’s forgotten what’s important.”
Seth rolls his eyes. He clearly doesn’t get it.
So I inch closer to him. “For centuries holy people … nuns … monks … hermits … they locked themselves away and took on the sins of the world. They were living sacrifices of prayer, and it made the whole world better. They kept knowledge alive through the Dark Ages. Vestals are living sacrifices too. We are reminders that you don’t need chips and you don’t need texts, and you shouldn’t give away every last piece of yourself for one more hit.”
“Because selling yourself is so much better?”
I square my shoulders. “Yes.”
“But you’ll never have a normal life. Doesn’t that bother you?”
“Of course not. Not when ‘normal’ is so messed up. Not when ‘normal’ gave a whole generation of people brain cancer.”
“That I get.” Seth rubs the cord of his pendant. “My mom was always talking about you guys. Did you know that? She loved all things Vestal. That’s why I took your picture.”
I wonder what Seth’s mom would say now.
We stand there in silence looking out across the city. The whole world feels huge and empty. If I reach up my arms, they’ll touch sky forever. There’s nothing holding me in and nothing protecting me. The only person between me and disaster is Seth.
“I should get back,” I say. “Your dad will hate me being out so late.”
Seth looks at me suddenly, like he’s remembering why he brought me up here in the first place. “Why worry about a liar like him?” He steps closer and encircles me in his arms. “We’ve got all night.” Seth smiles a wicked grin and bends down, brushing soft lips against mine.
I know what he’s thinking. He’s thinking he’ll ruin my relationship with Cal forever.
But I’m the one who will ruin Seth. By the time I’m done with him, everything he knew to be true will be shattered. Veritas Rex will never be the same again.
So I curl my fingers around Seth’s neck and deliver a perfect kiss. I let Seth put his infested hands all over me. They run down my back and under my butt cheeks. Our lips part, and our tongues intertwine. I tell myself I don’t enjoy any of it.
When we finally come up for air, I put my cuff on his chest, the position for the tightest blessing. “Seth, you’ve had a hard road. In so many ways it’s difficult being you. But I know that you can do it. You have everything you need to achieve happiness.”
“You think so?”
“I know so,” I answer. The blessing always works.
Tell people what they want to hear.
“Blanca, you’re different than I thought you would be.” This time when Seth smiles at me, it’s for real. And when he kisses me again, I can tell he means it.
Exactly like Cal wanted.
“You don’t have to go back,” Seth says later, his arms swathed around me as we sit on the bench. “Come home with me instead.”
“Why would I do that?” I stare out at the city lights.
“Because he’s old. Because he’s bad news, and because you deserve better.”
“He is not bad news,” I say. “He’s your dad.”
“What’s he doing with you, then?”
“I told you. Cal’s lonely. He wants a daughter.” I try to sound certain, but I can’t quite keep the edge from my voice. The lonely part is right, but Cal doesn’t want a daughter. He only wants Seth.
Seth pulls me onto his lap. “You shouldn’t trust him.” He flexes his arms and I have the weird sensation of feeling safe. Protected. “Come home with me instead.”
I look into Seth’s eyes, unsure if he’s being sincere or not. Nobody outside Tabula Rasa is truthful. Everyone is jealous of Vestals.
“What do you want?” I ask.
“To keep you safe.”
“I am safe.”
“Not from him, you’re not.”
I smile, trying to lighten the mood. “You’re the one I need to be careful of. If I listened to you, I couldn’t be a Vestal anymore.”
“So give it up,” Seth says. “Be your own person. Own your own life.”
“I have a contract. Remember? A thirty-two-million-dollar deal.”
“That’s exactly why it’s dangerous for you! My dad thinks he owns you.”
“No,” I say. “That’s how come I know he’ll protect me. Cal won’t let anything happen to me, not when I cost him so much.”
“You don’t know him.”
“Maybe you don’t. When’s the last time you and your dad talked?”
“No idea. I try to avoid him at all costs.”
“So how are you going to see me again?” I pause. “Or do you not want to?”
Seth looks at me, right in the eyes. “Of course I want to. Don’t be ridiculous.”
I tuck my head on his shoulder and fake a sigh.
Fatima would have played this scene differently. But I’m not Fatima. I’ll never be the seductress, but my girl-next-door tricks work pretty well too.
All the McNeal Solar Enterprises board members have left by the time Seth and I return home. It’s way past midnight. Cal waits on the threshold, pacing back and forth underneath the columns.
Seth rides the motorcycle all the way up the drive and then revs the engine before he cuts it right in front of his dad.
I haven’t taken my helmet all the way off, and Cal is already yelling.
“Where were you, Blanca? I was so worried!”
I’d think, “Nice touch,” but Cal’s a horrible faker. This rage is for real.
“I’m sorry, Cal. I was with Seth.”
“And you couldn’t leave a note?”
A note? The concept honestly never occurred to me. It’s not like I’ve ever left someplace before.
“And you,” Cal says, turning his anger to Seth. “How could you? You know privacy means everything to a Vestal like Blanca.”
Seth’s about to say something, but I don’t give him the chance. Ugliness isn’t going to help. So I physically place myself between the two of them and try to broker peace.
“Nobody saw us,” I say. “Seth wouldn’t do that to me.”
“Think again.” Cal taps his wrist and pulls up a video screen.
And there I am, plastered all over the Web again. I’m turning into a real Net-rat.
veritas rex joyrides with blanca, the tag reads. I’m captured at a red light, my arms around Seth, my platinum cuff clearly visible.
“What did you do?” Cal asks Seth. “Did you pay somebody to follow you?”
Seth starts to protest, but I don’t give him the chance.
“You did this?” I say, turning to him. “You tricked me?”
“Blanca, no—”
“What kind of bastard are you?” I shove my helmet into his stomach and then hightail it for the house. There’re about a dozen workers in the great hall, cleaning up after the party. I try not to run over a maid on my way to the stairs.
I slide the deadbolt behind me as soon as I get to my cloister.
Chapter Five
I’ve got this thing I do when somebody yells at me. I keep my eyes open but I try to look behind me, like I can see through the back of my head. I sit up straight and pull my shoulders down. Then I start counting. Usually by the time I get into the thousands, the worst is over.
The trouble with Cal, though, is that he’s not yelling at me when probably he should. He’s still royally pissed about me taking off with Seth last night. Cal saws away at his toast like he’s attacking it, but when he talks to me, his voice is eerily calm.
“I was improvising,” I say again. I must have said that a million times
, but Cal still seems disappointed. “I thought you’d be happy.”
“I was worried about you.”
“But I was with your son.”
“Exactly!”
“But the plan—”
“The plan was for you to go for a walk around the estate where I could keep track of you.”
“I was improvising,” I repeat. “You told me to improvise. I don’t know what else to say. I’m sorry! You know I’d never disobey you on purpose. I’m not like that.”
Cal looks beyond frustrated.
“You should have realized that going off the estate was a bad idea.”
“But you said I needed to get Seth alone, and I did. You said hook him, and I did that too!”
“But at great risk to yourself.” Cal wrinkles his forehead.
“I made him like me,” I say. “You said to make Seth like me, and you said I could improvise.”
“You risked your safety! I would never ask you to put yourself in harm’s way. I don’t want you to merely improvise, either. I want you to make positive choices about your own welfare. You’ve got good instincts.”
I shake my head. Cal’s being ridiculous. “Good instincts? The one time I try to improvise it gets all messed up!”
“But it didn’t get messed up. Alan was able to find you in time. We still got the picture.” Cal adds sugar to his coffee.
“Just barely,” I say. “I made it hard for Alan, and I didn’t think about what you’d say or how worried you’d be.” The tears are coming now, my training at work.
Cal’s voice softens. “We still got the picture.”
“But I worried you. I made you upset! I disobeyed!”
“It’s okay. People make mistakes. No matter what Seth says about me, I’m not a monster.”
“Of course you aren’t. But I’ve been horrible. I probably ruined everything. Seth might never come back again!”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“How do you know?” I ask.
Cal looks down at his wrist for a second. “Because Alan texted me. Seth is riding up the driveway right now.”
There’s barely enough time to settle this. I need Cal to know that I’m trustworthy. “Please, Cal. Please tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.”
Cal squeezes my hand. Then he leans over and wipes a tear off my cheek. “No, Blanca. You tell me. What should you have done last night?”
“Stayed home?”
Cal considers this. “Maybe,” he says. “But what should you have done before you left the house? You tell me.”
I’m totally blank for a second, but then I figure out the answer Cal wants. “I should have left a note.”
“Exactly! If you go someplace, leave a note.”
“So what’s the plan now?” I ask. “Seth will be here any minute.”
“Do whatever it takes to keep him coming back.” Cal picks up his fork and digs into his scrambled eggs with gusto. “Keep him interested long enough that I finally get the chance to talk to him again. That’s all I want. A conversation with my son where he really listens.”
“Do whatever it takes.” I can do that.
I won’t let Cal down again.
You’d never know Seth once lived here by the manner he stands in the doorway of the breakfast room, like he’s an armed intruder. The way Cal glares at him, he might as well be. It might be my imagination, but I think Cal just grabbed the butter knife. Seth holds his motorcycle helmet in front of him like it’s a shield.
“Can I talk to you, Blanca?” Seth speaks without crossing the threshold.
“Talk to her, yes. Take her somewhere, no,” Cal answers for me.
“I wasn’t talking to you!” Seth says. “I was talking to Blanca.”
I look away and contemplate the wall. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Seth.” I stare at the wainscoting. It helps that I’ve been crying. “I’m not sure I can trust you.”
That’s what finally gets Seth to leave the doorway and venture inside.
“It wasn’t me. I promise! I didn’t take that picture. I didn’t pay somebody to take that picture. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
I turn back from the wall. “How do I know you’re not lying?”
“Because I’m not a liar!” Seth practically explodes. “Tell her,” Seth says, finally looking at his dad. “Tell Blanca I’m not a liar.”
“He’s not.” Cal pours a cup of coffee from a thermal carafe and offers it to his son. “Sit down and join us.”
Seth pulls up a chair to sit down, but he ignores the coffee and doesn’t bother looking at his father. “Blanca, please,” he says. “Spend the day with me. Give me a chance to explain.”
Cal puts down the coffee. “What exactly do you want to do with Blanca?”
“What do you want to do with her?” Seth’s chair scrapes across the floor with a screech.
“Nothing,” Cal protests. “I merely want her to have a home here, as my daughter.”
“Your daughter? Well then, I guess I should get to know your ‘daughter’ better.”
Cal takes a deep breath before he answers. “If Blanca wants to spend time with you, fine. But only if you stay here at the manor. And no pictures!”
“I would never.” Seth looks at me. “What do you say?”
I give the tiniest of nods. “Okay. I’ll give you one more chance.”
“Great. Nothing bad will happen; you’ll see.” Seth returns his glare toward Cal. “So what do you want me to do? Hang out with Blanca in my old room?”
“I don’t care where you go,” answers Cal, “so long as you stay right here.”
“Is my room still there? Or did you screw that up too?”
Cal shrugs. “It’s been five years. You can’t expect me to leave your room untouched all that time. You don’t live here anymore.”
Seth clenches his fist like he could crush something. “Come on, Blanca.” He pushes away from the table. “Let’s go.”
Before I follow Seth, I look at Cal. He has an expression I barely recognize. It’s empty but hopeful, all at the same time. He gives me a little wave as I follow Seth out the door.
Once his dad is out of sight, Seth strides around the manor like he does own the place—or at least used to be prince of the castle. He grabs my hand, and I have to race to keep up with him. We pass my cloister and keep going, all the way to the far end of the hall. Then we cross to another wing where I’ve rarely ventured.
Finally we come to a door flanked by two potted palm trees. Seth pauses for a few seconds before he tries the knob. When it swings inward, all we see is darkness.
But then Seth turns on the light, and we’re both in for a surprise.
“That bastard didn’t change anything!” Seth says, entering his old bedroom. He walks over to a chair by the window and pulls open the drapes. Light floods the room, illuminating every untouched bit.
What I notice first are the bookshelves full of old trophies: soccer statues, swimming medals, and framed certificates. There’re also a bunch of photos: framed pictures of Seth and his mom, Seth and his dad, and the whole McNeal family together. Something else catches my eye.
“You won a blogger award?” I ask Seth. “Last year?”
Seth comes over to look. “Yeah.” He runs his hand over his head, tugging at the dark hair. “The cheat must’ve framed the news release.”
“And look at this.” I point to the top of the desk. “Look at all of these clippings.” Paper printouts cover the surface, some of them yellowed with age. “Your dad must have been following your career.”
“My dad wouldn’t do that.” Seth shuffles through the papers. “Huh. This one was when Veritas Rex hit the millionth-visitor mark. That was a while ago.”
“Cal never gave up on you.” I touch Seth’s arm. “Maybe there’s more to your dad than you know.”
“No. There’s not.” Seth contemplates a picture of his mom for a long t
ime. Then he walks away from me and crashes onto the bed.
I let him. Vestals know better than anyone when people need their space. Instead, I turn back to all the pictures of happier days. Seth looked so much like Sophia, except when he was little and had enormous teeth. She was exquisite. I can tell by the pictures how much she loved him.
Then, for some reason, I can’t look anymore. There’s something inside me that’s sharp and hurting.
Seth’s room is painted cardinal red. There’re baseball pennants pinned to the walls, a guitar in the corner, and a model airplane hanging from a wire in the ceiling. I pull out the wooden desk chair and sit down, taking it all in.
“He ruined everything,” Seth says. I’m not sure if he’s talking to the wall or talking to me.
But I know that Seth is wrong. Because no matter what Cal did, or whatever he does in the future, the past stands as it is. All this will remain, even when every last stick of furniture disappears.
Seth had it all. He had a childhood that I’ve only read about in books. When I buried my head under the covers of my metal bunk bed so nobody in the Tabula Rasa dorms would hear me cry, Seth was here in this room, getting tucked in every night by a mom and dad who loved him. No matter what he thinks, Seth had a great childhood.
Little League, guitar lessons, smiling pictures. A mom who decorated his room, a dad who still cares about him. Why can’t Seth see any of that? Why does he have to be such a jerk?
Cal wants Seth in his life for some reason, so that’s what I’m going to accomplish. Cal said to do whatever it takes to keep Seth coming back. I’ll do whatever it takes, all right.
In the meantime, I’m going to teach Seth a lesson.
Someone needs to cut this Virus down.
Controlling people is easier than you’d think, Barbelo Nemo wrote. All you need to do is make somebody feel important. A little appreciation goes a long way. People love to talk about themselves. Speak their name softly, melodically.
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