Last Sacrifice (6)

by Richelle Mead

  ʺA bag of frozen peas?ʺ

  Dimitri shrugged and rested the bag on my ankle. The coolness instantly made me feel better. ʺEasier than buying a full bag of ice.ʺ

  ʺYouʹre pretty resourceful, Belikov. What else do you have stashed away?ʺ

  The rest of the bagsʹ contents turned out to be blankets and some food. I gave him a big grin when I saw heʹd gotten me sour cream potato chips and a bar of chocolate. I loved that he remembered such little details about me. My smile faded when another problem quickly popped up.

  ʺYou didnʹt buy any clothes, did you?ʺ

  ʺClothes?ʺ he asked, like it was a foreign word.

  I gestured to my torn dress. ʺI canʹt wear this for long. What am I going to do? Make a toga out of a blanket? Youʹre such a guy, never thinking of this stuff.ʺ

  ʺI was thinking of injury and survival. Fresh clothingʹs a luxury, not a necessity.ʺ

  ʺNot even your duster?ʺ I asked slyly.

  Dimitri froze for a moment and then swore. Heʹd had no need to wear his coat indoors at the Mastranosʹ—honestly, he didnʹt need to outside either—and had left it there in the ensuing fight.

  ʺDonʹt worry, comrade,ʺ I teased. ʺPlenty more where that came from.ʺ

  He spread blankets over the tentʹs floor and laid back on them. There was a look of woe on his face that was almost comical. Raids, bullets, criminals . . . no problem. A missing duster? Crisis. ʺWeʹll get you another one,ʺ I said. ʺYou know, once we find Jill, clear my name, and save the world.ʺ

  ʺJust those things, huh?ʺ he asked, making both of us laugh. But when I stretched myself out beside him, both our faces sobered.

  ʺWhat are we going to do?ʺ I asked. Tonightʹs most popular question.

  ʺSleep,ʺ he said, clicking off the flashlight. ʺTomorrow weʹll get a hold of Abe or Tasha or . . . someone. Weʹll let them handle it and get Jill where she needs to be.ʺ

  I was surprised how small my voice sounded when I spoke. ʺI feel like we failed. I was so happy back there. I thought weʹd done the impossible, but it was for nothing. All this work for nothing.ʺ

  ʺNothing?ʺ he asked in astonishment. ʺWhat we did . . . this is huge. You found Lissaʹs sister. Another Dragomir. I donʹt think you still really understand the weight of that. We had almost nothing to go on, yet you pushed forward and made it happen.ʺ

  ʺAnd I lost Victor Dashkov. Again.ʺ

  ʺWell, the thing about him is that he doesnʹt stay hidden for long. Heʹs one of those people who always has to be in control. Heʹll have to make a move eventually and when he does—weʹll get him.ʺ

  The smile returned to my lips, though I knew he couldnʹt see it. ʺAnd I thought I was the optimistic one here.ʺ

  ʺItʹs contagious,ʺ he replied. Then, to my surprise, his hand found mine in the dark. He laced our fingers together. ʺYou did good, Roza. Very good. Now sleep.ʺ

  We touched in no other way, but his hand held all the warmth in the world. This was hardly a perfect moment, like in the library, but our familiar connection and the understanding between us burned brighter than ever, and it felt good. Right. Natural. I didnʹt want to sleep. I just wanted to stay there and savor being with him. It wasnʹt cheating, I decided, thinking of Adrian. It was just enjoying this closeness.

  Still, sleep was essential. We worked out a schedule where each of us took shifts. He would stay awake now while I rested, and I had a feeling if I didnʹt sleep, he wouldnʹt either when the shift change came. I closed my eyes, and it wasnʹt my heart I had to slow down this time. It was my mind, the hamster wheel that went nowhere trying to figure out what to do next. Just get Jill to Court. Just get Jill to Court. That was all that mattered. Weʹd contact someone who could reach Jill. Dimitri and I would lie low, everything would soon fix itself....

  ʺThank God.ʺ

  I spun around, not even realizing Iʹd fallen into a spirit dream. I was back in Sonyaʹs garden with all its sunshine and color, and she sat back in a chair, looking expectant.

  ʺI was afraid youʹd be up all night, watching your back,ʺ she continued.

  ʺI would if I had my choice,ʺ I replied, strolling over to her. She wasnʹt quite whom Iʹd expected to see in my dreams, but at least Iʹd made contact with the outside world. I wore the black-and-white dress here, but unlike reality, it was clean and intact. ʺDimitri thinks weʹre in a secure location—though heʹs awake, of course.ʺ

  ʺOf course.ʺ There was a glimmer of amusement in her eyes, but it was brief.

  ʺWhere are you?ʺ I asked. ʺDid the guardians put you in holding?ʺ

  ʺThey didnʹt get me,ʺ she said smugly. ʺYou were their priority, and a little compulsion made sure they didnʹt see me. I took off . . . I hated to leave Emily, though.ʺ

  I empathized but was too excited at Sonyaʹs escape. Good news, finally. ʺBut you can get Jill to Court. Youʹre free.ʺ

  Sonya looked at me as those Iʹd just spoken French. ʺI canʹt get to Jill.ʺ

  I frowned. ʺIs she under that much security?ʺ

  ʺRose,ʺ said Sonya. ʺJill isnʹt with the guardians at all. Victor and Robert took her.ʺ

  TWENTY-SIX

  ʺSHEʹS WHAT?ʺ I EXCLAIMED. The dream birds singing in the garden fell silent. ʺWith them? Is that why they called the guardians?ʺ

  Sonyaʹs calmness continued, but she frowned slightly. ʺVictor and Robert didnʹt call the guardians. Why would they?ʺ

  ʺBecause . . . because they wanted to get rid of Dimitri and me . . .ʺ

  ʺPerhaps,ʺ said Sonya. ʺBut not while they were still in the house. Victorʹs as wanted as you are. It was only Robertʹs magic that got them out.ʺ

  ʺThen who . . .ʺ The answer hit me. I groaned. ʺJohn and Emily. I should have known it wouldnʹt be that easy. They were too quick to accept fugitives into their house.ʺ

  ʺI actually think it was just John. Emily really did seem to believe you were innocent . . . even if she didnʹt like why you were there. I also suspect sheʹd worry calling guardians would just draw more attention to Jillʹs identity. It wouldnʹt surprise me if John didnʹt even warn her about calling them. He probably thought he was doing everyone a favor.ʺ

  ʺAnd instead, he lost his stepdaughter,ʺ I said. ʺBut why would Victor and Robert take her? And how the hell did two old men subdue a teenage girl anyway?ʺ

  Sonya shrugged. ʺTheyʹre probably stronger than they seem. Compulsion also likely played a role. And as for why? Hard to say. But Victor wants power and control. Keeping the missing Dragomir with him is a good way to possess that.ʺ

  I slumped against a tree. ʺWeʹll never get her to Court.ʺ

  ʺWe just have to find her,ʺ said Sonya. ʺWhich I should be able to do once sheʹs asleep.ʺ

  ʺMore dream-walking,ʺ I said. My hope began to rekindle. ʺYou should go to her now. Find out—ʺ

  ʺIʹve tried. Sheʹs not asleep. And Iʹm willing to bet theyʹre keeping her awake for that very reason so they can put some distance between us. Iʹll keep trying, though.ʺ

  It wasnʹt ideal but was the best we could hope for right now. ʺAnd Sydney and the Mastranos?ʺ

  ʺFacing a lot of questions.ʺ Sonyaʹs face fell. I knew she still felt bad about abandoning her cousin, just as I felt bad about Sydney.

  I gently touched Sonyaʹs arm. ʺItʹs okay. Theyʹll be okay. What you did will help Jill.ʺ

  She nodded. ʺHow are we going to stay in touch? I canʹt always wait for you to be asleep.ʺ

  Silence. Excellent point.

  ʺMaybe we could get a cell phone today . . . God knows weʹve needed one. And well . . . why donʹt you just come to us? Where are you anyway?ʺ

  I wondered if I was making a mistake in inviting her to join us. Dimitri and I had gone to great pains to keep our location secret, and that run-in with the guardians had already been a bit closer than I would have liked. Aside from the obvious problems—imprisonment, execution, et cetera—being captured would take us out of the picture for helping Lissa. Yet, I was pretty sure Sonya was one of our allies, and at
this point, she might be our only link to Jill.

  Iʹd made a similar gamble in revealing where we were to Victor. And while he had technically helped us, that help had obviously backfired. Nonetheless, I told Sonya the name of our campground and the best directions I could. She said sheʹd come—I didnʹt know how sheʹd manage it but suspected she was resourceful—and would keep trying to reach Jill.

  ʺSonya . . .ʺ I hesitated to speak, knowing I should just let her end the dream. We had important problems, more serious than what I was about to ask. Plus, this was personal territory. ʺWhat did you mean in the car . . . when I said Iʹd shared a dream with my boyfriend? You looked surprised.ʺ

  Sonya studied me for a long moment, those blue eyes looking deeper into me than I would have liked. Sometimes she seemed safer in crazy mode. ʺAuras tell a lot, Rose, and Iʹm very good at reading them. Much better than your friends probably are. A spirit dream wraps your own aura in gold, which is how I knew. Your personal aura is unique to you, though it fluctuates with your feelings and soul. When people are in love, it shows. Their auras shine. When you were dreaming, yours was bright. The colors were bright . . . but not what I expected from a boyfriend. Of course, not every relationship is the same. People are at different stages. I would have brushed it off, except . . .ʺ

  ʺExcept what?ʺ

  ʺExcept, when youʹre with Dimitri, your auraʹs like the sun. So is his.ʺ She smiled when I simply stared in stunned silence. ʺYouʹre surprised by this?ʺ

  ʺI . . . that is, weʹre over. We used to be together, but after his change, he didnʹt want me anymore. I moved on.ʺ Where moving on apparently meant holding hands and having close, heated moments. ʺThatʹs why Iʹm with Adrian. Iʹm happy with Adrian.ʺ That last sentence sounded almost defensive. Who was I trying to convince? Her or myself?

  ʺBehaviors and feelings rarely line up,ʺ she said, sounding very Dimitri Zen-like. ʺDonʹt take this the wrong way, but youʹve got some issues to work out.ʺ

  Great. Therapy from a crazy woman. ʺOkay, letʹs suppose thereʹs something to this. I only really gave up on Dimitri a couple weeks ago. Itʹs possible Iʹm probably still holding onto some feelings.ʺ Possible? I thought about how acutely aware of his physical presence I always was in the car, the carefree harmony in the library, how good it felt to work with him in that way of ours, both so determined and almost never second-guessing the other. And only hours ago, in the guestroom . . .

  Sonya had the audacity to laugh. ʺPossible? After only two weeks? Rose, youʹre wise in so many ways . . . and so young in others.ʺ

  I hated being judged by my age but had no time for temper tantrums. ʺOkay, whatever. Iʹve still got feelings. But not him. You didnʹt see him after he was changed. It was horrible. He was depressed. He said he wanted to avoid me at all costs, that he couldnʹt love anyone again. It wasnʹt until this escape madness that he even started acting like his old self.ʺ

  ʺHe and I talked about that,ʺ she said, face serious again. ʺAbout the depression. I understand it. After being Strigoi . . . doing what we did . . . you donʹt feel worthy of life. Thereʹs just guilt and darkness and the crushing memories of that evil.ʺ She shuddered.

  ʺYou . . . youʹve acted differently from him. I mean, you look so sad sometimes, but at others . . . itʹs like nothing happened. Youʹre already back to your old self. Mostly. Why the difference in you two?ʺ

  ʺOh, Iʹve still got the guilt, believe me. After Robert changed me . . .ʺ There was venom when she spoke his name. ʺWell, I didnʹt want to leave my house, my bed. I hated myself for what Iʹd done. I wished Iʹd been staked to death. Then Dimitri talked to me. . . . He said that guilt was inevitable. The fact that I can feel it proves Iʹm not Strigoi. But he told me I canʹt let that stop me from embracing life again. Weʹve been given second chances, he and I. We canʹt throw them away. He also said it took him a while to realize it and that he didnʹt want me to make the same mistakes. He told me to embrace life and its beauty and the people I love before it was too late—even though itʹd be difficult. Shaking that Strigoi past . . . itʹs like a weight, always pressing on me. He swore he wasnʹt going to let it control him anymore—which, believe me, sounds noble but is very hard to do—and that he wouldnʹt let his life be pointless. Heʹd already lost some things forever but refused to let go of the rest.ʺ

  ʺHe said all that? I . . . Iʹm not even sure what half of it means.ʺ He told me to embrace life and its beauty and the people I love before it was too late.

  ʺSometimes I donʹt either. Like I said, itʹs much easier said than done. Still, I think he has helped me recover more quickly than I would have on my own. Iʹm grateful. And as for you and your auras . . .ʺ That small smile returned. ʺWell, youʹve got to figure it out. I donʹt believe in soul mates, not exactly. I think itʹs ridiculous to think thereʹs only one person out there for us. What if your ‘soul mateʹ lives in Zimbabwe? What if he dies young? I also think ‘two souls becoming oneʹ is ridiculous. You need to hold onto yourself. But I do believe in souls being in sync, souls that mirror each other. I see that synchronicity in auras. I can see love too. And I see all of that in his aura and in yours. Only you can choose what to do with that information—if you even believe it.ʺ

  ʺNo pressure,ʺ I muttered.

  She looked like she was about to end the dream but then stopped and gave me a piercing look. ʺOne thing to be careful of, Rose. Your auras match, but they arenʹt identical. Dimitriʹs is spiked with bits of darkness, leftover from his trauma. That darkness fades a little each day. You carry darkness too—but itʹs not fading.ʺ

  I shivered. ʺLissa. Itʹs the darkness Iʹm taking from her, isnʹt it?ʺ

  ʺYes. I donʹt know much about bonds, but what youʹre doing—even if itʹs helping her—is very dangerous. Spirit tears us apart, no question, but in some ways . . . I think we spirit users are built for it a little better. Not that itʹs always obvious,ʺ she added wryly. ʺBut you? No. And if you take too much, I donʹt know whatʹll happen. Iʹm afraid of it building and building. Iʹm afraid itʹs just going to take one spark—one catalyst—to make it explode inside you.ʺ

  ʺWhat happens then?ʺ I whispered.

  She shook her head slowly. ʺI donʹt know.ʺ

  With that, the dream faded.

  I fell back into dreamless sleep, though my body—as if knowing it was time to take my shift—woke on its own a few hours later. Nightʹs blackness surrounded me once more, and nearby, I could hear Dimitriʹs even, steady breathing and sense his warmth. Everything Iʹd just discussed with Sonya came pouring back to me. Too much, too much. I didnʹt know where to begin processing it. And no, I didnʹt know if I could believe it, not with what Iʹd seen in real life. Behaviors and feelings rarely line up. With a deep breath, I forced myself to be a guardian, not an emotionally distraught girl.

  ʺYour time for sleep, comrade.ʺ

  His voice came to me like light in the darkness, soft and low. ʺYou can get more rest if you need it.ʺ

  ʺNo, Iʹm fine,ʺ I told him. ʺAnd remember, youʹre not—ʺ

  ʺI know, I know,ʺ he chuckled. ʺIʹm not the general.ʺ Oh lord. We finished each otherʹs jokes. I do believe in souls that are in sync. Sternly reminding myself that Sonyaʹs visit hadnʹt actually been about my love life, I recounted the rest of the dream to Dimitri, describing Johnʹs betrayal and Jillʹs abduction. ʺDid I . . . did I do the right thing telling Sonya where we are?ʺ

  Several moments passed before he replied. ʺYes. Youʹre right that we need her help—and she can find Jill. The problem is, Victor and Robert have to know that too.ʺ He sighed. ʺAnd youʹre right that Iʹd better rest up for whatʹs to come.ʺ

  So, in that efficient way of his, he said no more. Soon, his breathing shifted as he fell back into sleep. It was amazing how he could do that with so little effort. Of course, that was something weʹd been taught as guardians: sleep when you can because you donʹt know when youʹll be able to again. It was a trick Iʹd never picked up. Staring into the darkness, I kept my senses sharp
, listening for any sounds that might indicate danger.

  I might not have a talent for falling asleep instantly, but I could keep my waking body alert while still checking in with Lissa. Jill and our escape had occupied me today, but events at Court still weighed heavily on me. Someone had tried to kill Lissa, and a group of guardians had just dragged off Eddie.

  When I looked through her eyes, it was no surprise that I found most of my friends together. They were in a stark, intimidating room similar to the one sheʹd been questioned in about my escape—except it was larger. And with good reason. It was packed with all sorts of people. Adrian and Christian stood by Lissa, and I needed no aura reading to know the two guys were as uneasy as she was. Hans stood behind a table, hands pressed on it as he leaned forward and glared at everyone. Opposite Lissa, against the far wall, Eddie sat stone-faced in a chair with a guardian on either side of him. Both of his guards were tense, braced to leap into action. They thought Eddie was a threat, I realized, which was ridiculous. Yet, Hans seemed to share their opinion.

  He jabbed his finger at a photograph lying on the table. Taking a step forward, Lissa saw that the picture was of the guy whoʹd attacked her—a picture taken after his death. His eyes were closed, his skin gone pale—but it provided a detailed look at his facial features, bland as they were.

  ʺYou killed a Moroi!ʺ exclaimed Hans. Iʹd apparently tuned in to the middle of the conversation. ʺHow is that not a problem? Youʹre trained to protect them!ʺ

  ʺI did,ʺ said Eddie. He was so calm, so serious that the part of me that could still muster a sense of humor thought he was like Dimitri Junior. ʺI protected her. What difference does it make if the threatʹs Moroi or Strigoi?ʺ

  ʺWe have no proof of any of the details of this attack,ʺ growled Hans.

  ʺYou have three witnesses!ʺ snapped Christian. ʺAre you saying our reports are worthless?ʺ

  ʺIʹm saying youʹre his friends, which makes your reports questionable. I would have liked to have had a guardian around to verify this.ʺ