Zoey pats my back. “You know, if you were asking for my professional opinion, I’d tell you to slow down. Maybe take a step back. Think before you do anything you regret. I don’t believe anything that’s happened so far is something you can’t come back from or put in reverse if you need to.”
I nod. “Thanks, girls. I think I know what I need to do for right now.” I pick up my phone and take a deep breath as I decide exactly what to say in a message to him.
Me: Sawyer? I need to hit pause for a little bit.
I cringe and grit my teeth as I realize he’s going to respond immediately.
Sawyer: Um. Okay …
Sawyer: I guess I can understand that.
Me: I need to think about a few things. Maybe we can try talking again soon?
Sawyer: The kind of talking we did earlier, or actual talking? Because I tried to talk to you earlier, and it went a little differently than I think either of us expected.
I glance up at the girls who are all waiting expectantly for me to finish, then back down to my phone when another text comes through.
Sawyer: That was supposed to be a joke. Kind of. Hadleigh, I’m happy to press pause with you if you need some time. No harm done.
Me: I appreciate it. Thank you.
Chapter 15
Sawyer
Four days after our after-school make-out session, Hadleigh and I are still pretty much on “pause.” I refuse to believe that putting my lips on hers had been a mistake, but I’ll admit even though we’ve handled the aftermath okay, it’s made things a bit awkward between us. To make matters worse, her lips had been heaven, like the sweetest summer berries, and I want another taste more than I want my next breath.
When Hadleigh returns to the workroom late in the day, I’m taken completely by surprise when she marches straight over to me, slips into the chair next to mine, and leans in to whisper to me. “Can we get coffee after work? I have a few things I want to talk to you about.”
There’s something a little wild in her eyes, and it hits me square in the chest just how into her I still am. I get that it’s totally wrong of me to be thinking of her like this, especially after she’d said she needed some time. But, damn, she’s never looked more beautiful.
“Yeah, sure. Is it something about how my teaching went this week?” I press my lips together, knowing that it’s probably not. Her eyes travel over my features before her gaze finally meets mine again. I feel almost exposed, like she can see into me and knows all the things in my head that I shouldn’t be daydreaming about right now.
“Not really, but we can discuss that, too. You’ve done well.” She puts her hand on my shoulder before she seems to think better of it and pulls her hand away, hesitating for a second. “It’s a personal conversation that I don’t want to have at school.”
“Oh. Okay. Sounds good.” In all honesty, I already knew it isn’t my teaching Hadleigh wants to talk about. I am self-aware enough to know when I’ve done a good job and when I haven’t, and I know the classes have gone well all week.
A light rap on the open door catches our attention, and I glance up to see Sadie from our second period World Geography class standing there, casting a nervous look between the two of us.
After a brief moment of silence, Hadleigh finds her voice. “Hi, Sadie. Was there something you needed?”
“Oh, um. I-I wondered if either of you wanted to order some Girl Scout Cookies.” She holds the order form in front of her with a nervous smile. “I wasn’t sure if anyone had been by to ask you yet. There—there are a few other girls selling, too. And I—”
I wonder why the poor girl is so nervous she’s stumbling over her words. I’d made a point to talk to her a few times since that day I’d seen those other kids pick on her, so it’s not like she doesn’t know me.
Hadleigh grins, putting the poor girl out of her misery. “Thin Mints are my favorite. One time I ate a whole sleeve in one sitting.” She leans forward conspiratorially. “Don’t tell.”
Sadie’s face lights up, her shoulders rising as she giggles. “I’d never.” She smiles shyly, happy to be trusted with a little secret.
Hadleigh sure does have a way of putting kids at ease. She holds her hand out. “Let’s see what you’ve got.” Hadleigh scans the form. “You need money now, I assume?”
“Um. Oh, yeah. It’s four dollars a box.”
“Great. Looks like I owe you twenty.” She’s just about to hand the form back when I snag it from her hand.
“I can always use some cookies.”
“Really? Oh, that would be great.” Color tints Sadie’s cheeks, and I shoot her a quick smile as I jot down my selection. Satisfied that I have enough Samoas to last me a month, I pull my wallet out, and hand her the order form with enough cash to cover my purchase.
Hadleigh gives me a quick wink of thanks and nudges me. “Can you hand me my wallet out of my bag? It should be right on top. It’s black.” She points to the huge purse under the desk at my feet.
“Yeah, sure.” I reach inside, used to rummaging through my mom and sisters’ purses at their request. I see Hadleigh’s wallet right on top, just like she said it would be. I pluck it from the bag, but freeze when my eyes land on what’s directly underneath it. It’s a book. A very sexy book. Holy fuck. This is what Hadleigh reads in her free time? I don’t honestly know why I’m so surprised, but I am.
I come to my senses and hand her the wallet. My gaze drifts back down to the book as Hadleigh pokes around in her wallet for the money she owes for her cookies.
Goddamn. I peek down at the book again. The cover is seriously hot. A man and woman are all wound up in each other, passion exploding right there for anyone to see. The guy on the cover is shirtless and sweaty, muscles popping out in all the right places. And the woman … well, she’s damn near close to naked, with some sort of filmy, sheer blouse concealing the naughty bits. I look from the book to Hadleigh and back again. Wow. I wipe my now sweaty palms on my pants and realize Sadie is thanking me.
“Sure thing. I’m a huge Girl Scout cookie fan.”
Sadie grins, showing off a mouthful of braces. “I will remember that. Thank you.” She draws in a deep breath and lets it go before waving her goodbye.
From beside me, Hadleigh smiles and gets up to see her out. “Thanks again, Sadie. See you in class tomorrow.” She closes the door and leans back against it, her lips curving into a broad smile. “That girl has a serious case of hero worship going on. What the hell, Sawyer?”
“I just had a conversation with her before class the other day in front of those two girls who had been picking on her. Kind of ignored them on purpose.” I chuckle with a shrug. ”And I bought cookies just now.” I pause. “That’s seriously it.”
“You are going to be just fine when it comes to dealing with kids of this age level. I can see that already.”
I shake my head, exasperated. “I just did what anyone would have done.”
“Nope. Don’t even try to deny it. A lot of teachers just ignore issues when they crop up in class. I see you won’t do that.”
“Yeah, now I just have to figure out how to deal with the other two girls. I’m working on it. One kid at a time, I guess.”
She nods. “Sometimes that’s the best approach.” The bell rings, interrupting our conversation before I can ask about the book in her bag or get any further clues about whatever she wants to discuss later over coffee.
Chapter 16
Hadleigh
After school, Sawyer and I stay to get some work done before we head out for coffee, but he’s acting all twitchy. I can’t say I’m much better, knowing what’s on the agenda for later. I nudge his arm and give him the side-eye. “What is going on with you? You haven’t stopped flipping that pen around in the last ten minutes.”
He laughs and carefully sets it down. He glances at me and then back to the stack of papers he’d been grading. “I, um, I kind of saw the book in your purse earlier.”
My eyes dart to him,
my brow furrowing. “You kind of saw it or you saw it?”
“Okay, I saw it.” As I watch him, his teeth scrape right over his soft lower lip.
I narrow my eyes at him. “And?”
“I was kind of intrigued.”
“How so?”
He smiles without looking up from his work. “It just looked like an interesting book. I’m a pretty big reader. What genre is it?” Judging from the way he’s close to laughing out loud, I’m pretty sure he’s messing with me.
I roll my eyes a bit before responding in a whisper. “It’s an erotic romance.”
“You mean erotica?”
I huff. “No. There’s a difference.”
He eyes me, curious now. “Okay. What would that be?”
From across the room, I hear Piper shift around in her seat, and I know she’s listening.
“The difference is how the sex is presented in the book—whether it’s used to drive the romance plot forward or if it’s just there for gratuitous purposes.”
Piper coughs. “She’s totally right.” She steals a glance over her shoulder at us. “Good job figuring out the difference, Had. I’m proud of you. Can’t wait to discuss it at our next meeting.”
Sawyer turns around in his seat, staring at Piper’s back. “Whoa. Let me get this straight—this is a book for a book club discussion? Who picks your books?”
Blood rushes to my face as he turns back around to pin his stare on me. “We rotate.”
“And, um, who chose this one?”
He’s totally teasing me. I can see it all over his face again. I stare intently at him. “I did.”
Piper giggles. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be listening. It’s a good one, though.”
“So, wait, you’re embarrassed that I saw it, but it was your pick?”
“Who said I was embarrassed?”
He glances over at Piper’s back and drops his voice. “You’re blushing.” He touches my cheek ever so softly with his fingertips before he withdraws his hand.
“I’m just going to go make some copies.” Piper stands up and walks out of the workroom without even turning around.
My eyes follow her out the door, and I suck air in through my teeth, which are clamped together all of a sudden. I guess I can only expect her to babysit me and my lust for Sawyer for so long.
He nudges my arm to get my attention. “You know, Hadleigh, if you don’t want people to see what you’re reading, you can always use an e-book reader.”
I giggle, shaking my head at myself. “You’re right. And I’m always so worried about what people think of me, I’m not sure why it didn’t occur to me that a Kindle or some other tablet would be an easy way to not have nosy people questioning what I’m reading.” I lean over and poke him in the side, then immediately regret it. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
He gives a swift jerk of his head. “Don’t. I finally feel like we’re acting normal around each other again. Poke me all you want.” His eyes lock on mine, his stare intense. His dark eyes have a way of making me feel like he gets me in a way not many people can or do. All at once, he breaks the silence. “You know, it’s strange to me that you said you’re worried about what people think. I don’t think anyone else realizes that you’re not one hundred percent confident in everything you do, Hadleigh. I’m pretty observant, and I’d say, with the exception of your friends who you’ve introduced me to, most people don’t have any clue that there’s a nervous or hesitant bone in your body.”
“Well, I’m not always like that. It’s more of a way of protecting myself.” I blink. “It has to do with my mom, I think. But—” I blow out a breath. How did this conversation go from smut novels to the inner workings of my mind? “I don’t let most people see that side of me.”
“I really hope I get to know that other Hadleigh better, too. Not that I don’t like the Hadleigh who you present to the world, because I do.”
Damn, this guy is deep.
I look around the deserted workroom. “I think Piper sensed we needed a few minutes. I hope we didn’t make her uncomfortable.”
Sawyer shrugs. “She’ll be fine. It’s not like she doesn’t have eyes. You’re telling me she doesn’t know something’s going on with you? You haven’t talked to her about us? I don’t buy it.”
I cock my head to the side, studying him. He’s so attractive to me, but even more than that, I’m discovering more and more that Sawyer is someone I like on the inside, too. It’s a hard combination to come by—hot, intelligent, sensitive, sweet.
“Yeah, I’d say she’s aware of your inner turmoil. Just like I’m aware that you’re a little confused. A little worried. I’ve had a lot of time since I started here to pay attention to you. Especially this last week.” He chews on the inside of his cheek as he watches my reaction to his statement.
I’m suddenly terrified of what he’s been seeing. Despite sitting here fully clothed, his dark eyes on me make me feel absolutely naked.
But I also feel understood, and I don’t know how to handle that because it’s not something I’ve ever felt with a man before. And, if I’m honest with myself, it’s exactly what I’ve been looking for. “How about we go get that coffee now?”
Chapter 17
Sawyer
I park my old, beat-up truck just down the street from the coffee shop. It’s a short walk, but I pull on a hat and wrap a scarf around my neck for good measure. It’s bitterly cold, and I find myself not only looking forward to spending some more time with Hadleigh, but ready for some hot coffee as a bonus.
She’s already inside, sitting at a table as she fiddles with her phone. She doesn’t see me at first because she’s so focused on whatever she’s doing. A deep frown mars her pretty face. I take a second just to look at her, unsure if whatever she’s going to say to me will change things between us. Because Willow was right; if Hadleigh tells me that I need to back off, I totally will—the pause she’d requested is proof of that. In my gut, I feel like maybe she’s finally come to the realization that we should talk about what we are feeling—we need to, in fact. I’m nervous as hell that she’s going to tell me we can’t happen. We can’t be a “thing.” I take a deep, fortifying breath and head over to her.
She looks up, surprised, immediately exchanging her frown for a smile. “Oh, hey, Sawyer. Sorry, I was a little engrossed in something. You want some coffee?” She gestures to the counter.
“Sure.” I reach for my wallet, but she holds up both hands, stopping me.
She smiles. “I invited you, so I’m buying. What can I get for you?”
“A mocha would be good.”
With a little bob of her head, she walks over and places our order while I get comfortable, removing my hat, scarf, and heavy coat. She comes back a couple of minutes later with my mocha, which she slides in front of me, and what looks like tea of some sort for her. After she sits down, she opens her wallet to arrange the few bills she’d gotten in change. She stops what she’s doing when I put my hand over one of hers. Her gaze meets mine, her pretty brown eyes watching me curiously, questioning what I’m doing.
I give her a little smirk and let her wonder what I’m doing for a few moments. “Weird history fact—George Washington was actually not the first person to have their likeness on the one-dollar bill.”
“Really?” She exhales in a short puff with a relieved smile.
I think she’d started holding her breath when I put my hand on hers. “Really,” I confirm with a nod.
“I just assumed it was always him.” Her eyebrows rise for a second as her forehead crinkles in confusion. “Who was it, then?”
“Some guy named Salmon P. Chase. Apparently, he was the Secretary of Treasury in 1862. He was the designer of the very first bank notes.”
“So, you’re telling me some guy named Salmon put his own face on our very first currency?”
I nod solemnly. “Yep.”
Hadleigh bursts out laughing. “You’re very funny, Sawyer. You keep m
e on my toes. Earlier in class, you really had me thinking. You were so intense—I like it. And you know what? You had those kids riveted today while you were talking about how German-named items were given Americanized names. ‘See you later, frankfurter. Hello, Liberty Dog.’” She visibly relaxes. “You’re a great storyteller. That’s a good quality to have as a history teacher.”
I grin. “Thank you. It means a lot that you think I did a good job.”
“You did, for sure. Knocked it out of the park all week, in fact. You ready to take on another class soon?”
“Yeah. I’m focused and ready to take on whatever you want to throw at me.” The only thing that makes me even slightly unfocused is her. It’s becoming a real fucking problem.
She gets strangely quiet, then takes a sip of her tea. “You know, you aren’t who I thought you were when I got your first e-mails.”
“How so?”
“Well, you did live up to the nerdy history buff guy—” She ducks her head with a giggle. “But you were so … I dunno—stiff sounding? Maybe formal is a better word.” She shrugs. “But you’re actually pretty easygoing. You like your facts and information, which is handy for a history major, but you also have a wicked sense of humor and timing that I like.”
An honest grin spreads across my face. “I’m glad you find me amusing.”
She nods. “I do.”
“So, if it’s not my performance at school that you want to talk to me about, what are we doing here?” If this is what I think it is, we may as well get it over with.
She sets her tea down on the table very carefully. “Right. Um. Two things, actually, but both kind of related.” She sucks her plump lower lip between her teeth.
Fight for You (Flirting with Forever Book 2) Page 8