I wait patiently. I’d rather hear what she has to say before I open my mouth. And, hell, watching her worry her lip like that may just be the single sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. When she still doesn’t say anything, I nudge her knee with mine.
“You can say whatever. It’s fine.” I close my eyes for a second and begin to mentally steel myself for her to tell me to back off—that nothing is happening, regardless of how hot that kiss had been the other day or how well we get along.
A shiver runs through her, even though it’s plenty warm in here and she’s been drinking hot tea.
I cock my head to the side, and my gaze narrows on her. What the hell is she about to say?
She takes a deep breath and spills, “I remember you, okay? I saw you that night at the bar when they were doing karaoke. And—”
My relief is so profound I interrupt before she can continue. “I remember seeing you, too, Hadleigh. I wasn’t sure if I should say anything. I thought it might be awkward. But let’s just say, I was more than a little excited to see you again at the school. I couldn’t believe my luck, in fact.”
Her gaze shifts to mine and holds there. “I couldn’t get you out of my head for weeks, and then there you were. And the thing is, Sawyer, it is a little awkward. There are too many reasons why whatever we are obviously feeling doesn’t work.”
As I look into her eyes, I see so many things—so many warring emotions—that I don’t know what to do or say. Maybe we can work this out if we talk it through. Because I like this woman a lot. More than a little excited had been the understatement of the century. I’d been ecstatic to see her again. Over the fucking moon.
Before I even know what I’m doing, or have had a chance to think for two seconds, I lean in, and my mouth covers hers. Desire shoots straight through me as she responds, moving her lips against mine, and a tiny moan escapes her mouth. My hand cups her head, fingers threading through hair as my tongue finds hers. I can’t think. I can only feel—and what I feel has my pulse racing and my pants tightening uncomfortably. The way her hair is softly scented like a fragrant flower, the way her lips move against mine, like she can’t get enough, the way she makes little sounds in the back of her throat, the way her hands clutch at my thigh, as if she’s hanging on for dear life. All of these things rolled together combine into one hot, combustible moment between us, and I know I’m never going to be the same if I can’t have her.
My phone buzzes with a text message, skittering a bit on the table. With deep regret, I drag my mouth from hers. Our foreheads touch as we gaze into each other’s stunned eyes. I want to dive into hers and swim there for the rest of my life.
I ease back, noting a hint of nerves on her face at what we’ve just done—again. I would be upset about it if I didn’t see such obvious desire in her eyes. I clear my throat. “I’m sorry, I should see who that is. Not many people text me.”
She nods without saying a word, her fingers moving to her lips, touching them, as if she can’t believe what she just did with them.
Anxious to talk this through, to kiss her again and show her that we are nothing to be afraid of, I pick up my phone, prepared to reply and get right back to the business of me and Hadleigh. I thumb my phone open and see it’s a couple of messages from Willow.
Willow: Come quick!
Willow: OMG, come NOW.
I frown. Shit. Willow is not one to send an emergency text without good reason. “I’ve got to go. Willow needs me at home.”
“Oh. Um, okay. Is that the girl you were with that night when we first saw each other?”
“Yeah.” Distracted and somewhat worried, I shove my phone into my pocket as I stand, quickly pulling on my coat, hat, and scarf. “I’m sorry to cut this short. I know we probably have more to say to each other, but I don’t know what’s going on, and she’s freaking out.” I give a frustrated huff. “She doesn’t usually do that. I can call you later, okay?”
Hadleigh nods, her hands tucked between her legs. “Okay.”
Chapter 18
Hadleigh
I try so hard not to lose it as he walks away from me. My face falls and, unable to stop it, a single tear manages to escape my eye and slide right down my cheek before it drips onto my pant leg.
But … what the fuck is the point if he has someone at home? Willow. What kind of name is that?
I’ve been sitting here in the coffee shop stewing for a full thirty minutes before I decide I’m being ridiculous and completely unlike me.
Me: Everything okay with Willow?
I grimace, wanting to say more, wanting to rail at him for leading me on and then leaving me here. He’d told me he’d been more than excited to see me again, yet—he has a girlfriend. He’s been kissing me all while he has a girlfriend at home. In the end, I don’t say anything about it. I can be an adult when I have to be … so I just wait.
Sawyer: Yep. She’s deathly afraid of spiders, and there was a big one in her bathroom.
Me: Ah. I don’t like spiders all that much either.
Sawyer: Sorry I had to take off on you so quickly.
Me: That’s okay. I didn’t have much more to say.
Me: You and Willow are really cute together, by the way.
With that, I turn off my phone. I don’t want to hear his response. I just can’t right now.
It’s a relief to find some of my friends at the bar a few hours later because I was going to feel really pathetic drinking alone. When I approach Madison and Piper, who are seated across from Shawn while he works, I have to smile, despite my sour mood. I think it’s super sweet that Madison keeps him company most nights now that they are together. He’s such a good guy. And he’s all hers.
And then there’s Sawyer … who is Willow’s? I want to cry. I’m just so damn stupid sometimes. He’d gone rushing off to save the day for her, without even a backward look at me—me, the one his lips had just been all over. Because why? Oh, right. He lives with her. He’s with her. He’d answered all the questions I hadn’t asked by rushing off to her rescue.
Shawn nods at me as I walk up to them. “What’s up, Had?”
“I could use a drink. Then maybe I can bring myself to tell you guys.” I slide onto the cracked-leather seat of the stool next to Madison, my shoulders slumping. I feel absolutely dejected. I don’t understand how other people seem to find such nice guys when all I find are jerks. With an agitated sigh, I shove all of it aside. I don’t want to spend another minute thinking about him or what a dating dummy I am.
“Fair enough.”
Piper, who’s on Madison’s other side, leans forward so she can see me. “The talk didn’t go like you wanted?”
Madison casts a furtive look in Piper’s direction and puts a careful hand to my back, giving me a little rub. “Shawn, get this woman one of your margaritas.”
I give Madison a weak smile. “No. No, it didn’t. I don’t want to talk about it just yet. Shawn, make it a strong one like that time we all got drunk before Christmas. I could really use it tonight.”
He shakes his head a bit. “Why does everyone think I adjust the margarita to your need level? I make them the same every damn time.” I see Madison shoot him a look out of the corner of my eye, and he continues. “But, yep, I’m on it. One Shawn’s Signature Margarita coming up.”
“Thanks,” I mumble.
Once he sets it in front of me with a kind smile, I down half of it in one go. Shawn’s brows hit his hairline, but he very wisely says nothing. Smart man Madison has chosen. Smart. I play with the condensation on the side of the glass while I go through the whole day in my head. Because, yeah. I can’t help myself. I swear, sometimes I think I just like to torture myself. Honestly, it had started out okay. It wasn’t until that last little bit that everything turned upside down. That’s it! I need to focus on something else.
Peeved with myself for my inability to stop thinking about Sawyer, I glance at Madison. “How are things in the library since we’ve been back?”
She
snorts. “Quiet. As usual. Though I did catch a couple of kids making out in the study room yesterday. That was interesting.” She takes a sip of the wine she has in front of her.
“For real. That room needs an open-door policy. Or a glass window.” I snort a little, then polish off the remainder of my margarita and ask for another.
To everyone’s credit, they allow me to sit in silence for a few minutes while conversation continues to flow around me and I work on my second drink of the night. With the alcohol starting to take effect, I actually enjoy the pleasant lightness buzzing through my head. Unfortunately for me, that means my lips begin to loosen. Sharing what’s wrong had seemed like a bad idea when I’d first sat down, and I’d planned on just sitting here and fretting about it in silence, but now? All bets are off. I slap the bar with my open palm. “So, you know what happened first today?” I lick salt off my lower lip and take another sip of my margarita.
Piper stifles a giggle. “Well, I think I do because I’m pretty sure I was there for the conversation you are referring to, but go ahead and tell them.”
“Had, what happened?” Madison rubs my back again.
Ugh. “Sawyer found our smutty book club book in my bag.”
Shawn lets out a bark of laughter, but quickly stops when he sees my face, smothering his amusement behind his hand.
Madison cringes. “It’s some book, I’ll admit that. What was he doing in your bag in the first place?”
“I asked him to get me my wallet. For the cookies.” I pout a little. “I didn’t realize the book was right underneath my wallet.”
“Cookies?” Madison’s brow creases. “Oh. Right. The Girl Scouts. I got hit up yesterday.”
“Yep. The Thin Mints. They get me every time.” Uh-oh. I can’t feel my lips. I poke at them absentmindedly.
My gaze lands on Shawn. I can just tell he has something to say. “Go ahead, Shawn. Impart your bartender's wisdom on me.”
He sucks both lips into his mouth as he pours a beer for another customer. “I guess maybe you should choose a nonfiction book next time and keep yourself out of trouble.”
“But I like my smut,” I growl.
Piper just shakes her head while Madison laughs. “That you do. And there’s nothing wrong with it. Except when someone finds it in your bag at school, I guess. Maybe you should get an e-book reader, or something.”
My eyes widen in tipsy shock. “That’s what Sawyer said. How did you know?”
Madison covers my hand with her own, squeezing gently. “I don’t know, girl. What else happened? So far this doesn’t sound too terrible.”
Piper winks at me. “Just a tiny bit cringey since you had that sexy sucker at school.”
I roll my eyes at her, not sure if this next bit is going to make them cringe harder, especially since we’d all agreed it was a good idea for me to slow things down with Sawyer. “So, we went for coffee after school to talk.”
“Uh-oh.” Piper winces. “What happened?”
“We admitted that we’d noticed each other here that one night. Finally. And that was kind of like the catalyst for what happened next.” I suck in some air and let it out in a rush with my words. “I kissed him again. I know. I know.” I hold up my hand. “I said I was going to hit pause with him, and he and I both agreed to it. But after you left the workroom, Piper, things seemed like normal between us again. And it felt good.” Crap. My brain feels like it’s full of cotton. My lips also feel numb, which is probably why I’m blabbing away instead of keeping my mouth shut. Oof. Margaritas are not my friend. I squint at Shawn and jab a finger in his direction. “Just what is in these margaritas anyway, mister?”
“Just the normal stuff. Promise.” He turns his head, and I’m not so drunk that I can’t tell he’s snickering.
Exasperated, I sputter, “I kissed him again, you guys. Did you hear me say that?”
I catch an exchange of somewhat concerned glances among the three of them, then a subsequent shrug from Shawn. “We thought maybe you didn’t want our commentary.”
“Well, I do. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.” I throw my hands up in a wild manner. “He has the most amazing lips,” I mumble, resting my elbows on the bar and propping my chin up with my hands. “Everything was going fine until he took off when he got a text from Willow and left me there at the coffee shop.”
“Who is Willow?” Madison questions.
“That girl who was with him that very first night. I was just going to ask him what the deal was with her, and then, poof. He got a text from her and had to go.”
Shawn pushes a glass of water my way.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.”
I take a sip of the ice-cold water just in time to see Madison’s eyes widen as she looks over my shoulder.
“What?” I swivel on my stool, look toward the door and am in disbelief at what I’m seeing. Speaking of those pillow-soft lips … It’s Sawyer. With a few other people, including Willow.
Piper taps on the bar. “Shawn, I’m going to need another rum and Coke for this.”
I moan softly, “Oh. I’m so damn embarrassed.” My mind torments me with visions of Sawyer and Willow and what I’ll see if I turn around again.
Madison goes back to rubbing my back. “It’ll be fine. Do you want to go home? I’ll take you.”
Shawn gets Madison’s attention. “So, that’s the guy, right, Madi?” At her nod, his gaze drifts to me. “If that’s him, and that’s the girl you think is his girlfriend, I have some good news for you.”
I shudder out an unsteady breath. I’m trying to hold it together, but I’m so damn confused and sad it’s not funny. “What are you talking about?”
Shawn twirls a bar towel around with his hand, eyes focused on Sawyer and Willow. “You seem to think she’s his girlfriend, but he was here just last week, sitting right where you are now, talking to that very same girl …” He nods in the direction of the booth I know Sawyer and Willow are sitting in. “And I happened to overhear that he was very much into some girl and thought he’d messed it up.”
Piper’s face screws up in concentration. “You think he was talking to Willow about Hadleigh?” She taps the bar with her finger. “Maybe that was after he almost kissed you in the workroom the first time.”
“I’d bet money on it. I remember something to that effect.” Shawn bobs his head while he wipes down the bar with the rag. “If I’d known it was you they were talking about, I would have said something sooner.”
Madison furrows her brow and turns her body to face me. “Why did you think he’s dating her, Hadleigh?”
Holy. Crap. Have I had this messed up in my head this whole time?
A whisper of hope moves through me. “I … I just assumed. I mean, he—I thought …” I drop my head into my hands and groan a little. “I must have misunderstood who she was to him.”
Shawn glances up. “Incoming.”
My eyes slam shut as Sawyer sidles up to the bar next to me. From beside me, I hear him rumble, “Hey. How’s everyone tonight?”
I clutch at Madison’s thigh.
She answers for both of us. “We’re doing great tonight. Especially Hadleigh, here.” She pats my hand where my fingers are pressing into her so hard, I’m surely going to leave marks on her leg. “I’m Madison—we met briefly at school during your tour—and this is my boyfriend, Shawn.”
Sawyer’s deep voice sets a tremor rolling through me. “Hey, man. I’m Sawyer. I’m student teaching with Hadleigh right now.”
With a deep breath, I open my eyes and give Sawyer a tight smile. “Hi.”
Our gazes connect for a few seconds before he drops his head next to mine and whispers in my ear. “I think we had a misunderstanding. Can we talk?”
I ease back so I can see his dark eyes glittering at me. “Um. Yes.” I nod.
Chapter 19
Sawyer
I place one hand on the small of Hadleigh’s back, take one of her hands in my other hand and help
her down from the stool. With a nod at her friends, I assure them, “We’ll be right back.”
Along with the buzzing of thoughts in my head about what I need to say to her and the murmurs of her friends from behind us, I can also sense a fire building within me. I hope I can make her understand because she may be the only one who can soothe the burn. I guide her down the back hallway until we get to the end where a staircase goes up to the left. I encourage her to sit down on one of the steps before I crouch in front of her, putting my hands on her jean-clad knees.
“So.” I expel a drawn-out breath that ends on a chuckle. I look directly into her beautiful brown eyes. “Like I said, based on your last text to me, I think we’ve had a misunderstanding.”
My teeth clamp down on my lip as I wait for her to say something, but when she doesn’t right away, I go ahead and continue. “You haven’t answered your phone or responded to a text since that last one you sent about me and Willow looking good together.”
Now it’s her turn to bite her lip. “I turned my phone off. I needed a quiet night with my friends.”
“Do me a favor and turn it on.” My voice sounds gruff to my ears.
She lets out a controlled yet shuddery breath. “Why?”
“You’ll see.” I squeeze her knees, glad that she’s at least letting me touch her.
She shakes her head, but pulls the phone out of her bag and powers it on.
Notifications for a ton of text messages and missed calls light up the screen. “What the hell?” she mumbles under her breath.
“Yeah.” My tongue darts out to lick my lower lip. “I’ve been trying to reach you.” I hate that I’ve upset her unnecessarily. Stupid, annoying spider. “Go ahead. Read through them.”
She thumbs open her text app and cringes when she sees all the messages.
I squeeze her knees with my hands again and murmur, “Read them.”
Fight for You (Flirting with Forever Book 2) Page 9