I See You

by Patricia MacDonald

  ‘Does this person know everything about your lives?’ asked Father Luke incredulously.

  ‘I don’t know. But I have to think ahead. I have to assume the worst.’ She looked from one man to the other. Father Luke gazed back at her openly. Spencer seemed skeptical.

  ‘I know this all sounds weird and paranoid. I wish I could tell you more,’ said Hannah.

  Spencer looked at her with narrowed eyes. ‘So do I.’

  Father Luke looked sadly at Hannah but he spoke to Spencer. ‘Hannah is in a lot of pain. She needs us to help her.’

  Spencer sighed. ‘You want me to go in, pick up the packed bags and bring them out. And do what? Take them home?’

  ‘Yes, I guess so,’ said Hannah. ‘When things settle down I’ll let you know where to ship them.’

  Spencer shook his head. ‘Call me dim but I have to ask. Aren’t you going back to that house yourself when you’ve recovered? Can’t you send the bags?’

  ‘This person might follow me. Find out where I’m sending them.’

  Spencer frowned at the priest. ‘I don’t like this,’ he said.

  Father Luke shrugged. ‘That’s up to you. If you don’t want to do it, then don’t. It’s just a request, right?’ he asked, looking at Hannah.

  ‘Yes,’ Hannah whispered, gazing down at her own hands lying limp on the covers.

  ‘Give me the keys and we’ll see what we can do,’ said Father Luke.

  Hannah slid open the drawer of her bedside table and reached in. She pulled out the keys and handed them to the priest. ‘I wouldn’t ask you if I wasn’t desperate.’

  Spencer was already shaking his head.

  ‘He’s very law-abiding,’ said Father Luke apologetically.

  ‘I don’t need for him to break the law,’ Hannah protested.

  ‘I can hear you,’ said Spencer in a frosty tone. ‘Luke, can we go now? I need to get to Media.’ Glancing impatiently at his watch, Spencer headed toward the door. He turned back to Hannah. ‘I hope you feel better soon,’ he said.

  Hannah nodded and pressed her lips together in a dejected expression.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ said Father Luke. ‘I know him. He’ll do it. He just has to get used to the idea. But, Anna, I have to say, are you really intending to go back to that house all by yourself? Knowing that the person who pushed you in the subway is still out there, hoping to … harm you?’

  Hannah felt agitated. Spencer had already balked at her plan. She didn’t want to think about what was going to transpire when she went home. She definitely didn’t want to speculate aloud about it. ‘I’ll be here a while longer. I’m not leaving anytime soon,’ she said. ‘My recovery … you know. It will take some time.’

  Father Luke’s eyes were filled with worry. ‘I’ll let you get some rest. You need it.’ He put a hand on hers. ‘Would you like us to pray together?’

  It won’t do any good, Hannah thought hopelessly. But she nodded. ‘Sure,’ she said. ‘I need all the help I can get.’

  THIRTY-ONE

  Three days later, when Hannah was about to be released, Frank Petrusa was dispatched by Father Luke to pick her up. Hannah understood immediately why he had been chosen. Based on what she had told him, Father Luke was worried that they might encounter some kind of confrontation when Hannah returned to Mamie Revere’s house, and Frank, an ex-recon marine, was the best man to handle such a situation. Even with one hand missing, he had an air of indomitability. Hannah sat in the wheelchair brought to her room by the nurse, her purse on her lap, waiting for him. She gazed out at the gray day, and wondered what misery this homecoming might bring. If Lisa were still watching the house she would know instantly, the moment that Hannah arrived home in a stranger’s car, that Adam and Sydney were gone. What would she do then?

  Her phone rang and Hannah jumped, her heart already thumping at the thought of her daughter’s implacable anger. She knew it wasn’t Lisa. Only Adam had this number. Adam and Father Luke.

  Adam had called several times during that week, but said they were not yet settled in a place. Hannah knew that they had headed west, toward Chicago but not which state they were in. Adam did not want to be specific. ‘The less you know, the better,’ he told her.

  Hannah answered the phone cautiously, and was relieved to hear his voice. She explained that despite his reluctance, Spencer White had retrieved the suitcases and brought them to his house without incident. Of course, there was nowhere to send them as yet. Or was there? she asked.

  Adam sighed. ‘No, not yet. How are you feeling?’

  ‘I’m … better,’ she said.

  ‘A lot better?’ he asked.

  ‘I’m going home today,’ she said.

  Adam was silent at the other end.

  ‘Frank Petrusa is picking me up, and getting me settled in. I’ll be in good hands,’ she said.

  ‘Until he leaves,’ Adam said in a gloomy tone. ‘Hannah, I wish I had never agreed to this.’

  Hannah ignored the desperation in his voice. ‘How is Sydney?’

  Adam had reported that Sydney had been cooperative and quiet during the journey. ‘Can a child be depressed?’ he asked Hannah.

  ‘Yes, certainly,’ said Hannah.

  ‘Then she’s depressed.’

  ‘I don’t doubt it,’ Hannah said.

  Frank appeared at the doorway of her room and tapped on the open door. Hannah motioned for him to come in.

  ‘Adam, I have to go,’ she whispered. ‘Frank is here.’

  She did not give him a chance to pour out all his anxiety and his fears. She murmured her love and ended the call. She looked up expectantly at Frank.

  ‘You ready?’ he said.

  Hannah nodded.

  ‘No bags?’

  ‘Just my purse,’ she said.

  ‘Let’s hit it,’ he said. He came around behind the wheelchair and put up the brake.

  Hannah nodded, though her heart was pounding double time. ‘Ready,’ she said.

  They discussed work a little bit as Frank drove her back to West Philadelphia. He told her that Dominga Flores was now out of rehab and staying at Restoration House and participating in his PTSD groups.

  ‘Oh, I’m glad,’ said Hannah. ‘I was on my way to see her when …’

  ‘Your accident,’ said Frank.

  Hannah nodded. ‘Seems like years ago. Well, it’s good we got her back at the House. She needs that kind of support.’

  ‘She does indeed,’ said Frank. ‘When you get back to work you’ll probably have a chance to help her sort things out.’

  ‘If I get back to work,’ said Hannah.

  Frank frowned. ‘Father Luke told me that your husband is gone. With Cindy. He said that was the way you wanted it. What happened there, Anna?’

  Hannah shook her head. ‘Nothing,’ she said.

  ‘It doesn’t sound like nothing. It sounds like you might be in danger. Why did Alan agree to leave you here all alone? I’m really surprised by that.’

  ‘The most important thing is Cindy’s safety,’ she said.

  ‘Why is Cindy in danger?’ Frank asked.

  Suddenly she felt too tired to try to explain. She shook her head and looked out the car window at the city streets, thinking about all the plans that she and Adam had made when they decided to move here. They would take Sydney to the theater, the zoo and the Please Touch museum. They had done all of those things and more, although they had always found it difficult to relax and enjoy these outings in the city. Some part of them was always looking around. Always wondering. They dreamed of a day when their lives would truly feel like their own again. Now, Hannah doubted if there would ever be such a day. In a strange way, she was almost relieved that Lisa had found her. No more running away. She knew that the next time she encountered Lisa was going to be soon. It was only a matter of how soon.

  ‘OK,’ said Frank. ‘I’m not gonna pry.’ Frank drove expertly through the maze of streets, and pulled up against the curb in front of Mamie Revere’s house. H
annah looked out the window, and then did a double take to see the For Sale sign planted in the patch of brown grass in front.

  ‘He’s selling the house,’ she said. ‘I can’t believe it.’

  ‘Who?’ Frank asked.

  ‘Isaiah Revere,’ said Hannah.

  ‘The councilman?’

  ‘Yes. He grew up in this house. His mother, Mamie, owns it. But Mamie would never leave this place voluntarily. She loves it. It’s her home.’

  Frank shrugged. ‘You can get too old to be on your own.’

  ‘I suppose,’ said Hannah with a sigh. For a brief moment, painful memories of Pamela crossed her mind. She forced herself not to think about her mother, spending her life in that assisted care facility, her family vanished. She reminded herself that right now, she couldn’t be worrying about her mother. Hannah herself felt too fragile to be on her own. But it would pass, she thought. She just had to put one foot in front of the other. Daunting as it seemed, she reached for the handle of the car door. ‘Frank, I can’t thank you enough for bringing me home. And you and Kiyanna, for taking care of … Cindy while I was in the hospital.’

  ‘Kiyanna enjoyed it,’ he said. ‘I did too. Cindy’s a sweet kid.’

  ‘Can I speak like your big sister?’ Hannah said, feigning severity. ‘You should marry that girl. Kiyanna is a gem. Not that it’s any of my business …’

  ‘That’s all right,’ he said. ‘I think so too.’

  Hannah smiled and pressed down the door handle.

  ‘Anna, hold it a minute,’ said Frank.

  Hannah turned to look at him, as he groped under the driver’s seat with his good hand, and rummaged around. He found what he was seeking and pulled it out, placing it on the seat. Hannah looked down at the scuffed wooden box between them.

  ‘I have something for you,’ he said.

  ‘What is that?’ she said.

  Frank looked around in all directions. The street was quiet, and the bright autumn day had faded to gray. He made sure there was no one near the car, and then he undid the latch and opened the box. Hannah frowned, and then gasped, as he raised the lid.

  Resting in the case was a black semiautomatic handgun. ‘Do you know anything about guns?’ he asked.

  Hannah shook her head.

  Frank sighed. ‘This one is really very simple to use. And I think it would be a good idea for you to be armed. We’ll take it in the house and I can show you.’

  ‘Why did you bring that?’ she demanded.

  Frank shrugged. ‘Call it a gut feeling.’

  ‘Is that your gun?’

  ‘One of them,’ he said. He peered at her. ‘Don’t worry. I keep them locked up at home. Cindy never even got near one of these, I promise you.’

  ‘Put it away, Frank. I appreciate the thought but …’

  ‘Look, I know this is all unfamiliar territory. But you need to be … ready. For anything. Just a short lesson, and you would at least be able to fire it in an emergency.’

  Hannah shook her head. ‘I don’t think so.’

  ‘Anna,’ said Frank patiently, ‘if you’re right about this, we’re dealing with someone who pushed you in front of a subway train. From what Father Luke told me, you are still afraid for your life. You need to have this. You might have to use it.’

  Hannah tried to think coherently about what he was saying, although the sight of the gun unnerved her. She shook her head again. ‘I couldn’t,’ she said. ‘There’s no point. I really couldn’t.’

  ‘You’d be surprised,’ Frank said. ‘You’d be surprised what you can do when you’re facing your own death.’

  Hannah raised her gaze from the gun and stared through the windshield of Frank’s old jeep. ‘I’m sure you’re right,’ she said. ‘But I could never shoot her.’

  Frank raised his eyebrows. ‘Her? It’s a woman?’

  ‘Yes,’ Hannah whispered.

  Frank stared at her. ‘Well, you might surprise yourself. If she’s threatening your life, you might be able to use it on a woman. Take it, just in case.’

  Hannah turned and looked at him. His eyes seemed to gleam in the dim light which bathed the front seat through the windshield. ‘You’ll have to take my word for it, Frank. I couldn’t shoot it at her. No matter what.’

  Frank peered at her. ‘It’s someone you know, isn’t it?’

  ‘Yes. Someone who … believes I have betrayed her.’

  ‘Have you?’

  Hannah sat silent for a moment. ‘I tried not to. But … yes. I suppose I did.’

  Frank slowly closed the lid on the box.

  Hannah pushed open the car door. She turned and looked at him. ‘Thank you for thinking of it, though. I know you’re only trying to protect me. You, Kiyanna and Father Luke. You’ve all been so kind to me. But this is as far as it can go. I have to face the next part by myself.’

  ‘Anna,’ he said, ‘if someone you know is stalking you, you need to tell the police. They can protect you. There’s no reason to just be … a human target.’

  Hannah shook her head. ‘It’s not that simple. Listen, the only other person who knows about this is Father Luke. I need to keep it that way. Will you do that for me? Keep it to yourself?’

  Frank sighed. ‘Do you even have a plan?’

  Hannah hesitated. ‘I’ve thought a lot about it.’

  He waited for her to say more but she was done with explaining.

  ‘I’m very tired,’ she said. ‘I’m going inside.’

  ‘Let me walk you in,’ he said, opening his door.

  ‘I’d appreciate that,’ said Hannah.

  Once they had made their way up the dark path and into the unlit house, Frank ordered Hannah to sit down while he looked through the house.

  ‘This is Mamie’s part of the house,’ Hannah protested. ‘She has the first two floors. We live upstairs, on the third floor.’

  ‘I’m sure she won’t mind you sitting here while you wait,’ said Frank. ‘It looks as if nobody’s been here in quite a while.’

  ‘No,’ said Hannah, sitting down with a sigh. ‘It’s a lonely house now.’

  In fact, Hannah was relieved to sit down. She was utterly exhausted from the ordeal of leaving the hospital. She huddled in the corner of Mamie’s overstuffed, pillow-laden sofa and looked sadly around at the lifeless room that had once been part of a bustling home. Every photo, every memento seemed to be waiting for Mamie’s return. But that would likely never happen – the house would be sold. Life would move on. Hannah could hear Frank’s heavy tread going up the staircase, through the house and back down. She could hear doors slamming and windows being raised and lowered again. As she heard him start down from the third floor, Hannah called out to warn him about the rickety banister. If he heard her, he didn’t slacken his pace.

  He came into Mamie’s living room. ‘All clear up there,’ he said.

  ‘Thanks, Frank,’ said Hannah, getting up. ‘You may as well get home. It’s gonna take me a while to climb these stairs.’

  ‘I wish you’d reconsider,’ he said. ‘You could stay with Kiyanna and me. We wouldn’t mind.’

  Hannah did not want to discuss it any further. She knew that his offer was genuine, but also that she wouldn’t accept it. She had come back here to face whatever lay ahead. There was nothing to discuss. ‘You better get home to her,’ she said. ‘I can’t thank you enough.’

  Frank started to protest, but then he shook his head. ‘Call me if you need me.’

  ‘I will,’ said Hannah, though she knew she wouldn’t. She had already involved him too far in these problems of her own making. From now on, she was determined to face them alone. Afraid but determined.

  She wanted to tell herself that she had nothing to fear from Lisa. But every painful step reminded her that this was simply not true. She locked the door behind Frank then walked to the foot of the staircase, turned on the light above it and looked up. It seemed like an impossible climb. She put her foot on the first step.

  THIRTY-TWO
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  Slowly, Hannah made her way up the stairs to the empty apartment. She walked in, set her purse down on a chair and looked around. Despite everything, she thought, they had had happy moments here. They endured the hardships willingly, knowing that they had done the only thing they could. Now, all that was gone. Everything gone. Hannah exhaled a deep sigh. She opened the refrigerator, needing something to drink and dreading what she would find. Indeed, due to the suddenness of all their departures, everything on the shelves was either shriveled, sour or furry. You should clean this out, she thought.

  She took a bottle of water and closed the door again. Tomorrow, she thought. I might feel up to it tomorrow. Right now, it simply filled her with despair to look inside. Painfully, she made her way over to the freestanding wooden cabinet which served as their pantry. There were cans and jars inside. I won’t starve tonight, she thought.

  She went into the dimly lit living room and sat down. The house was quiet as a tomb with Mamie gone, and Adam and Sydney on their way to whatever place they were going to settle. She was all alone in the house, sitting in her chair, alert to every sound that filtered through, steeled against the possibility that the fragile quiet would be shattered at any time by the angriest of intruders. It was not a question of if Lisa would arrive. Only when. Hannah turned on the TV but its noise only made it impossible for her to hear if there was a breach into the creaky old house. She turned the TV off and picked up a book. Maybe she would take it into her room, and crawl into bed. She was exhausted from the day.