Hideaway

by Sandy James

  Kayla wasn’t sure how to respond. It wouldn’t be very ladylike to tell him that if they crawled into the bed together that she would have a difficult time keeping her hands to herself.

  The kindness he’d shown her as she spilled her story had only increased her feelings for him. While Gregory had always been polite and attentive, Drake had not only saved her life, he’d taught her about passion.

  Making love to him might be a mistake, but she was more than willing to put propriety aside and live for once in her life.

  But not now. Not when he was as skittish as a newborn colt. For now, she’d be content to let him hold her in his strong arms and comfort her through the nightmares that always haunted her sleep.

  “Of course, I haven’t changed my mind, and you may stop asking.” Kayla slid between the covers, almost laughing at the absurdity of wearing her clothes. Not only would she be too warm, she’d probably have no need of the blanket, especially if she had Drake’s body to cuddle against.

  That thought in mind, she quickly got back on her feet and pulled her petticoats out from under her skirt.

  “What are you doin’?” His question ended on a squeak when her petticoats hit the floor.

  “I wish to be comfortable. I cannot do so in so many layers of clothing.” To show her sincerity, she unbuttoned her shirt and took it off. Her skirt was gone soon after. Dressed only in her shift and stockings, she got back into the bed. “It isn’t as though you haven’t seen me in my shift.” She let her gaze sweep his body. “Would you not be more comfortable if you removed your shirt and pants? Most men sleep in their long johns, do they not?”

  Kayla couldn’t stop a smile as she watched the emotions play across his face. Normally, Drake was difficult to read, having a true skill at hiding his emotions. Now, that guard had dropped, and she stifled a laugh as he kept shifting his gaze from her to the bed to the door.

  “If we do this,” he said, “I will behave myself.”

  His desire to be a gentleman warmed her heart, but she was determined to have him. She had never enjoyed the delicious things that Drake made her feel, and she had every intention to taking the man as her lover.

  His reluctance was very clear as he slowly removed his shirt and pants. He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m makin’ you a promise right now, Kayla.”

  “And what is that?”

  “I won’t take advantage of you. Ever.” On that vow, he got between the sheets, covered his body with the quilt, and stacked his hands behind his head. “Good night then,” he said as he stared at the ceiling.

  Refusing to be ignored, Kayla snuggled up next to his side. Placing a hand on his chest, she kissed his stubbly cheek before putting her head on his shoulder. “Good night, Drake.”

  With her face tucked under his chin, she felt safe smiling, knowing he wouldn’t see her grin as her mocking him. He’d been so serious when he’d sworn to be a gentleman. The silly man didn’t realize that it wasn’t taking advantage when she wanted to make love with him. His promise might not be too awfully difficult to get him to break, judging from the way his long johns had tented in front.

  Oh yes, she would get him to break that vow. The only question that remained was how long he could hold tightly to his honor.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Drake stomped his boots against the porch steps, not wanting to track snow into the house. After two weeks of near-blizzard conditions, nature had sent a reprieve in the form of a warm spell. The snow was still piled high, but the sun was bright and he’d had a chance to clear a walkway between the barn and the house and a narrow one to the foundation of the new home. If temperatures kept improving, those pathways could soon become muddy messes.

  Promising himself he’d place some straw next time he went to the barn, he opened the door and went inside the house.

  Kayla was hard at work at the stove, and whatever she was cooking smelled wonderful. She glanced over her shoulder. “Are the animals bedded down for the night?”

  “They’re fine,” he snapped, pulling off his boots. He tried to rein in his temper. He wasn’t mad at her; he was just frustrated.

  For two weeks, she’d slept at his side, and Drake had done his damnedest to fulfill his pledge to keep his hands off her. But every night was an increasing challenge, a fight that became more and more difficult. This morning, he’d woken himself up trying to crawl on top of her. Thankfully, she’d been drugged by sleep and had merely burrowed deeper under the covers when he’d thrown himself out of bed. Had he not put some distance between them quickly, he might have found himself buried deep inside her before he’d awakened enough to stop himself.

  Anger had been his companion all day, and he couldn’t seem to shake it. Now that he was inside the house with Kayla, he couldn’t help but be reminded that he was no better than some randy goat.

  “You needn’t be short with me,” she scolded. “I shall have our supper ready in a few minutes, if you’d kindly wash up.”

  “Stop naggin’ me.” He let out a sigh. Even the simple things she said grated on his nerves. “Sorry,” he spit out before he went to wash his hands.

  Why she smiled in response was a mystery. As his mood fell, hers seemed to rise. She began to hum a cheery tune, then she began to sing.

  The song was quite scandalous. Yet the story of a woman trying to entice a man into her bed kept spilling from her lips.

  Brows knit, he gaped at her. Had she been any other woman, he might’ve believed she was intent on seducing him. Each time she molded her body to his at night, he had to remind himself over and over that she was innocent and clearly had no idea what she was doing to him. Whenever she’d stroke his chest, he’d flatten her hand with his own and hold it still. The times when she nuzzled his neck, he would mentally count to ten. Or twenty. Often beyond.

  Kayla obviously didn’t know her appeal or she wouldn’t tempt him so. At night, as she removed her shirt and skirts, she always stood at the foot of the bed. All that did was allow the light from the hearth to silhouette her body through the thin material of her shift. Every curve, every hollow was visible to him, and it took all his self-control not to toss her on the bed and make love to her right then and there.

  Only his vow kept him in check.

  But each day was a battle, and each day he came closer to losing the fight.

  After they sat down to eat, Kayla said a quick prayer before Drake dove into the food. For someone who had probably depended on servants to tend to her needs, she’d become a good cook. “Who taught you to make all this?” he asked, nodding at the spread on the table.

  “Grace Morgan. I had been told she was an outstanding cook, so I went with Cassie to learn a few things from her when I realized that Drew and Gideon would have to depend on me to provide meals.”

  God, he loved hearing her talk. Such formal speech, and the beauty of her voice made the words sound like a song.

  “I reckon I gotta get me some of Grace’s cookin’, then.” When she frowned, he wasn’t sure what was wrong. “Kayla?”

  “I…I thought I was doing quite well at the task. Perhaps you believe I need more lessons?” she timidly asked.

  So the woman was fishing for compliments. “Your cookin’ is great, Kayla. I was only sayin’ that if Grace taught you, well then, she must be a real good cook.”

  She rewarded him with a smile.

  Dinner passed pleasantly, and after they finished putting away the clean dishes, Kayla pulled the big pot from a bottom shelf and put it on the stove.

  “Whatcha doin’?” Drake asked.

  “I haven’t enjoyed a proper bath in far too long. I intend to have one now. I have a half-full tub waiting in our room, warming next to the fire, but I need to add some very hot water to make it comfortable.”

  “You’ll need more than one pan.”

  “I shall work at this all night if I must, but I’m having a bath, Drake. If you help me, then I will hurry so that you may enjoy the warm water as well.”


  * * *

  Although she knew she should get out of the hot water so Drake could have his turn, Kayla wanted to stay in the relaxing bath.

  After filling the tub with steaming water, a task that required much longer than she deemed practical, she made herself a promise. She was going to find a way to convince Drew to allow Drake to install a true bathroom in her home, one with a heated water storage container. She was weary of the tedious chore of filling the brass tub just to get herself clean.

  There was a knock on the door. “Kayla? You done yet?”

  She smiled at the thought that Drake wanted to bathe every bit as much as she had. Standing, she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself before stepping out of the tub. “Give me one more minute, please.”

  As she quickly dried herself, she glanced at the bar of soap she’d used, wondering how he’d react if she suggested he use it as well. As it was, the water smelled of the rose petals laced through the soap. No doubt he’d feel the scent wasn’t manly, but she wasn’t about to empty the tub and start again.

  After she slipped on her shift, she went to the door and opened it, loving how he sucked in a breath as his eyes scanned her from head to toe. So far he’d been putting up a good fight, trying to cling to his pledge not to touch her.

  Now, she was going to do everything in her power to get him to break that oath. The problem was that she’d never tried to seduce a man before and wasn’t sure that anything she had been doing would be successful.

  “Don’t you have a robe or somethin’?” Drake asked, putting his hand to his brow as though he were blocking bright sunlight.

  “I fear that I haven’t had time to make one yet. So many of your clothes needed mending, and there are chores… You should take your bath, Drake. The water is cooling.”

  He started to unbutton his shirt, and she nibbled on her bottom lip, wondering exactly how long he’d allow her to stay. It was such a pleasure watching him undress, and the thought of seeing his muscular body again, the one that had captured her thoughts since the night he’d rescued her from the blizzard.

  “You’re not leavin’?”

  “Yes, of course. If you leave your clothes by the tub, I shall wash them before we dump the water. Please call out when you’re finished.” Kayla wrapped a quilt around her shoulders and closed the door softly as she left.

  As Drake bathed, she decided to work on her damp hair. She spread another blanket in front of the hearth and went about removing the tangles. Task accomplished, she held the tresses up to dry, glad to have a roaring fire to assist her.

  A laugh slipped out as she wondered how he’d react if she went to him and offered to wash his back.

  Heavens, she was brazen, sitting there plotting intimacy with a man who would be riding away as soon as spring came and he finished her house. But she couldn’t deny how he made her feel, and she suspected she was falling in love with him.

  And if that didn’t make her a fool, she didn’t know what would. Cowboys never fell in love, and she was tying her heart to a hopeless case.

  Yet there was no fighting the way she thought of him all the time, or how he made her so content by holding her close through the cold nights. The way her blood ran hot at the mere thought of kissing him again told her that protecting her heart was a lost cause.

  Her common sense preached that there was the possibility of a child being created should she follow through with her plans. Her heart answered back that a baby would allow her to always keep a part of Drake at her side. There was no doubt Gideon and Drew would take a hand in raising the child. Her reputation had been lost long ago, so what did it matter that she bore a child out of wedlock?

  But Drake was resisting.

  Could it be that he didn’t desire her? That thought made her frown. Perhaps she’d overestimated his attraction to her. After all, he was accustomed to women who painted their faces and dyed their hair. An innocent with nothing more enticing than a cotton shift might not appeal to a worldly man like him.

  What else could account for why he refused to touch her?

  “Kayla…”

  Glancing over her shoulder, she smiled at Drake. The tender way he watched her made her nearly giddy. She held up the comb. “Come sit by the fire with me. I shall comb your hair.”

  Drake’s mouth went dry at the vision before him. What could be more tempting than Kayla, dressed in a provocative shift, sitting in front of a fire? She was calling to him like a siren, and he couldn’t have stopped himself from going to her if he wanted to.

  Sitting cross-legged with his back to her, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the way she carefully tended to him, rubbing the towel he’d brought with him over his head before she combed his hair.

  “You should consider allowing me to trim this,” she said, tugging lightly on a bit of his hair. “It is much longer than the fashion.”

  “You wanna cut my hair?”

  “Only if you wish me to. As long as it is, your hair gives you an air of…danger.” Her voice held a note of laughter.

  He chuckled. “Danger, huh?” He growled for effect. “Do I scare you, Kayla?”

  Suddenly, she was on her knees, wrapping her arms around his neck. “You scare me more than you could possibly know.”

  “Then why’re you huggin’ me if I make you afraid?”

  “Because what I fear is losing myself in the magic of how you make me feel.”

  Drake drew in a hissing breath when she rubbed her breasts against his back. There was no way she could understand what she was doing to him. His body was tied up in knots of lust. When he tensed and tried to move, she gripped him tighter.

  “Please. Don’t go. I…I need to talk to you.”

  He grabbed her wrists and eased her arms back. Then he scooted back and turned to face her, needing a little distance between them. “What do you wanna talk about?”

  She let out a sigh. “Am I ugly?”

  “What?”

  Despite the fact that she winced at his shout, she let her gaze catch his. “Do you think that I am ugly?”

  “Why in the hell would you think something that asinine?”

  Her gaze dropped. “Please don’t call me names.”

  He gently lifted her chin so he could see her face. “I didn’t say you were asinine, I said what you were thinkin’ was asinine.” Seeing her sitting there so dejected, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “What in the devil is wrong with you tonight?”

  Kayla seemed to ponder for a few long moments, the whole time staring at his face and appearing close to tears. “No matter how hard I try, I cannot entice you to make love to me.”

  Had she said she was a visitor from the moon, he wouldn’t have been more surprised than he was at that moment. His heart started hammering loud enough to echo in his ears, which had surely disrupted his hearing. There were a million things he wanted to say, but the words kept crowding together and blocking him from uttering a single one.

  “Now, I have humiliated myself.” Scrambling to her feet, she tried to step away, but Drake grabbed the hem of her shift. The lace ripped, forcing him to let go as to not pull the damn thing from her body. She rushed out of the room, her flight followed by the slamming of a door.

  Drake dragged his fingers through his damp hair. He’d never been so confused, and he had no clue what he should do next. He was just beginning to think he might understand Kayla, and suddenly a part of her he didn’t recognize had been staring right at him.

  “I cannot entice you to make love to me.”

  At least he no longer thought he was reading more into their situation than was truly there. Until she’d confessed her actions, he’d thought that his besotted mind was making him see her actions as sexual, when in reality she was too innocent to know how tempting she was. He got an erection almost every time he saw her. He was beginning to believe the woman was going to cripple him with lust.

  A smile slowly bloomed as he processed what she’d confessed. She wanted him. S
he wanted him in her bed, in her body. And damn if that wasn’t exactly where he wanted to be.

  Getting to his feet, he checked the fire and then picked up the quilt, folded it, and set it on the sofa. He needed to move slowly, to think over what he would say to her when he joined her in the bedroom—the one they’d been sharing since that cold night when they’d both nearly frozen to death.

  The easiest thing to do—and by far the most appealing—was to go right ahead and make love to her. But he was having a difficult time getting his conscience to agree with his cock. Should he take her innocence, he would change everything between them. They had months ahead of them to share. A lot of that time would find them stranded and alone because of the snow. What if she discovered that she didn’t enjoy making love? How miserable would it be for the two of them to be forced to endure each other’s company then? What if she suddenly ordered him to leave?

  He’d promised Drew and Gideon that he’d keep Kayla safe through the long winter. They were sure to take offense if he deflowered her in the process. And there was a house for him to build.

  Her house.

  No, he couldn’t—wouldn’t—give in to the temptation being laid in his path. No matter how much he wanted her.

  That thought firmly in his thoughts, Drake went to explain his decision to Kayla.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Instead of barging into the bedroom, Drake knocked softly on the door. “Can I come in?”

  “Suit yourself.”

  The clipped response didn’t fit Kayla’s polite personality, which told him exactly how upset she was. Opening the door, he stepped into the room to find her standing at the window, wrapped in a quilt and staring out into the night.

  He wanted to go to her, put his arms around her, and offer her comfort. But he reminded himself that he was the cause of her distress, and she might think he was mocking her by taking her into his embrace. He just couldn’t figure out how to fix this rift.