Sugar

by Karin Kallmaker

  "We won't have an excuse to keep meeting like this, will we?"

  "No." Charlie stared into Sugar's eyes for a long moment, so long that Sugar thought that surely Charlie was going to kiss her. Then she sighed, breaking the spell. "We won't."

  Trying to control the quaver in her voice, Sugar suggested softly, "We could perhaps arrange to meet somewhere else. To exchange gifts for other family members," she added quickly.

  "Probably should keep it public, or the heat will get the best of us."

  Sugar wasn't certain what showed in her face, but she knew how her body felt on the topic. There was obviously some sort of aphrodisiac in Charlie's cologne, because her physical response to it was ridiculously Pavlovian. "Would that be such a bad thing?"

  Charlie's eyes widened. "It would probably be fan-fuh . . . er, fantastic."

  Sugar swallowed hard. "I don't understand, then." She really didn't. Why was Charlie keeping her at arm's length when their arms seemed to be aching to hold each other?

  Very quietly, Charlie asked, "Are you seeing the producer any¬more?"

  "No." She would have added more, but Charlie stilled her lips with a gentle fingertip.

  "That's why."

  Feeling more confused than ever, Sugar watched Charlie walk away. Would anything ever make sense?

  Wednesday brought the welcome change of pace in the form of baking for her own business again. For the next seven weeks she had two or three cakes on her calendar, including the large '55 Chevy for JaeLynn. The chrome would a challenge. It felt good to be back in the swing of things. By the end of the day she was more tired than she had been since moving in, but it felt good.

  She realized she was staring blankly at her laptop screen and that the rumble of a large truck outside had been present for sev¬eral seconds. She jumped, startled, when the engine noise died.

  She was in a near panic when the doorbell rang.

  Charlie looked so worn out in the porch light that Sugar imme¬diately pushed open the screen door. "What's wrong? Is your dad okay?"

  "Yeah, he's good. I just left. He's coming home tomorrow on schedule. I was on call and had to go to a structural fire for a while

  earlier. I was going home and I realized I can't..." Charlie paused in the hallway, slowly shaking her head.

  Sugar shut the door and put her hand on Charlie's arm. "Can't what?"

  "I can't get through today without seeing you somehow."

  Sugar's breath caught in her throat and her heart felt as if it would burst when Charlie pulled her firmly into her arms. Without conscious thought, Sugar went up on her tiptoes and Charlie stooped so their lips could meet.

  / was hungry for this, Sugar thought, hungry for her arms and her mouth. Charlie made a small sound that could have been a moan of wonder—or of pain. Their bodies were finding the ways to melt together, to merge.

  Sugar let her hands explore the smooth contours of Charlie's back. Scenes in her head were way ahead of where they were. She could envision giving herself to Charlie in a hundred ways and just as easily anticipate the moment she stretched out on top of Charlie, too. The heat was there and it was as sharp and hot and wild as what she'd felt with Emily.

  Why, then, did she want to cry? Why were these wet, needy kisses almost painful?

  Charlie pulled back with a gasp. They stared at each other in the low hallway light, then Charlie wound her hands in Sugar's hair and pulled her close again. Hungry, Sugar thought again. This kind of hunger could leave both of them utterly consumed. Her hands cupped Charlie's breasts through the thin polo shirt and she was more certain that Charlie's moan was pleasure.

  "I'm so glad you're a woman," Sugar murmured into Charlie's mouth. "So very glad."

  Charlie laughed softly. "Well, if I weren't I wouldn't get to sleep with lesbians."

  "It works out well, doesn't it?" Sugar's heart was pounding, but it wasn't with passion. Parts of her were swimming with wetness, but her mouth felt dry with panic.

  "Especially with all this . . . heat." Charlie lazily ran one finger

  down Sugar's chest, slowly approaching the swell of her breasts. "That's amazing."

  "What is?"

  "This," Charlie whispered as her fingers closed on Sugar's nipple. "You. Your body has been in my dreams since the first morning I saw you get the paper wearing nothing but a T-shirt."

  Her nipple seemed to swell in Charlie's grasp. She wanted Charlie's hand on her directly, not through her clothes. "I don't remember that."

  "Believe me, I do. I couldn't figure out how to talk to you."

  "Then my house burned down."

  "It didn't seem like the right time to ask you for a date. I'm funny that way."

  Charlie's fingertips had not stopped teasing her nipple. Sugar trembled and felt near tears again. "So what do you propose we do now?"

  "You know perfectly well what I'd like to do." Charlie kissed her hungrily. "Let's take care of this heat. Putting out fires is my specialty."

  Sugar laughed, then something in her shifted and tears spilled over. "I want to, I really want to."

  "What's wrong?" Charlie immediately let go of her and put some space between them. "Did I hurt you?"

  "No. I just.. . I'm scared and it hurts to be with you like this. I don't know why."

  "I thought you wanted this."

  "I do." Sugar wiped her eyes.

  "I tried to take it slow. I didn't kiss you the first night I was here. I thought you wanted it that way."

  "I did."

  "Then you went to bed with someone else because you had this thing with her. Which I'm not judging," Charlie added quickly. "You didn't need my permission. I felt like you were saying that was all you wanted with me, too. So you were with what's-her-name because of heat, then you stopped seeing her. And I couldn't

  stand the thought that if I slept with you I'd never see you again afterward."

  "Oh." Sugar blinked. "So you didn't try to see me so you could go on seeing me?"

  "Yeah." Charlie nodded as if it made sense.

  Maybe it did, maybe it didn't, but Sugar didn't care. What mat¬tered was that, given how hard it was to keep their hands off each other, Charlie must want to keep seeing her, a lot.

  "Driving home tonight, I thought, well, if that's what you liked in a woman, good sex and no strings, I'd give that a try. It hadn't worked for me before but I'd do just about anything to see if I could be with you. I'd try to be some sexual superwoman if that would keep you wanting me around."

  "Oh, Charlie," Sugar said, laughing. "I'm not a sex-focused free-love kind of gal. The thing with the producer was the first time I've ever been that casual."

  "Must have been a pretty powerful attraction, then."

  "It was." Honesty made her add, "And still could be, but that doesn't mean I'm going to doing anything about it. It was a hell of a forest fire, but it's not..."

  Charlie moved slightly closer. "Not what?"

  Not this, Sugar wanted to say, but her courage failed her. "Why me?" she asked instead. "You could be with anybody. All I can offer you is a good roll in the hay and a great birthday cake."

  "Stop that," Charlie said softly. "I want to be with you because of the way I feel when I look at you. I was walking around thinking I was whole, until these past few weeks when I saw where my life could include you. Then I realized all the empty places I was car¬rying around. When I'm with you—okay, sometimes I want to scream because we never seem to be talking about the same thing and I realize later you meant something else or you didn't get what I said."

  Sugar nodded emphatically. "I know that feeling."

  "Then when I'm with you and everything is clicking it feels like everything I do makes you laugh, and I love your laugh. I feel new

  and sexy, and I have never flirted with anyone the way I flirt with you and I love it. When we were talking about books and passing the time together at the hospital I thought, holy shit, wouldn't it be nice to do that every day? Wouldn't it be nice to hold you and lo
ve you and talk to you all the time?"

  Sugar hiccupped. "What about the mutual heat?"

  "Good lord, Sugar, that'll be the easy part, don't you think?"

  "Then why am I so scared to go to bed with you?"

  "You weren't with the producer?"

  "It was . . . easy." Sugar hesitated. Maybe, she thought with a flash of clarity, maybe she hadn't been scared because her heart hadn't been involved. "I'm sorry if that makes you jealous."

  "It does, a little, but damn." Charlie cupped Sugar's shoulders. "Give me a chance to prove she was a one-night wonder."

  "Well," Sugar said honestly, "there were two nights."

  Clearly amused, Charlie said softly, "Then I'll stay at least for three so you can make up your mind."

  "How do you do that? That thing with your eyes?" Sugar looked at Charlie in wonder.

  "What thing?"

  "Like you don't know. You have bedroom eyes, Charlie Bronson."

  "Don't change the subject. You haven't said if you accept my offer. If three nights is what you want, I'll do my best to make them the best three nights of our lives."

  Very clearly Sugar said, "I do not want three nights."

  Charlie caressed the side of Sugar's mouth with her thumb and it was all Sugar could do not to give in to kissing it. "Then what do you want, Sugar? Let me at least try."

  Sugar's heart was pounding in fear again. She was petrified, feeling as if her entire life was suddenly swaying over a pit of com¬plete ruin. Say the right thing, she warned herself, find the right words or you'll ruin it all. The crossroads was scary. One path led to far more than three nights. The other had Charlie walking out of her life.

  Charlie didn't do that U-Haul thing, she'd said so herself. She wanted a woman with brains, she'd said that too. Charlie was brave, not just in her career, but in coming here to try to see if they couldn't work something out. She wanted to know what Sugar wanted. What did Charlie want? What did Charlie need? Sugar had no idea if she could come anywhere close.

  Charlie's hands had fallen to her sides while she waited for Sugar's answer. If she didn't speak soon, the moment would be lost. All the ingredients seemed to be present, it just took the confi¬dence to combine them in the right order.

  / don't have the experience, Sugar wailed inwardly. Not when it comes to love.

  Then she realized that Charlie had put her hands in her pock¬ets.

  Maybe, she thought, Charlie doesn't either. If Charlie was as clueless as she was about how to make things work, then she wouldn't know when Sugar was making it up as she went along, would she? Maybe they could make mistakes together. They'd cer¬tainly done enough of that.

  "I want a thousand nights," Sugar said, firmly. "You can't get me for a paltry offer of three."

  Charlie grinned at her, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. It's not enough, Sugar thought. It looked like she was going to have to be the brave one.

  "I think," Sugar added slowly, "I think I'm falling in love with you."

  Charlie swallowed hard as tears seeped from the corners of her eyes. She shook with a half-sob. "I'm scared to death, but now I don't care. I think I'm falling in love with you, too. I think I might already be in love with you."

  She pulled Sugar fiercely into her arms and Sugar no longer felt afraid.

  There was no staircase, no pounding surf. Nobody carried any¬body anywhere in a delirium of romantic passion. Taking her hand, Sugar led Charlie down the hallway to the room that was hers.

  They found their way out of their clothes in a long, continuous dance of tangling arms and languid kisses.

  Charlie nibbled her way down Sugar's throat. "I woke up this morning thinking about your shoulders. They're such a perfect combination of soft and strong. And I was sure they would taste—" Her tongue ran over the notch in one. "They would taste just like that. Your skin is incredible."

  Sugar felt worshipped as Charlie's mouth explored her. She touched the curly black hair, eager to feel it in her hands, against her thighs, resting on her back. The delicious combinations of their bodies were parading through her mind. Charlie's hands were like magic on her body. She hadn't realized that her hips loved to be stroked, hadn't known that her calves would flex in response to a firm, warm grasp.

  In response to the pressure of Charlie's hips Sugar spread her thighs so Charlie could slip between them. She felt small in Charlie's embrace, but treasured. "I keep trying not to laugh," she admitted. "It all feels so good."

  "We're in no hurry," Charlie said. "We've got time to laugh."

  "Good. Time to kiss?" Sugar pushed herself up against Charlie's body and ran her tongue suggestively over Charlie's lips.

  "I think kissing you could become my favorite hobby."

  Their hips were moving in a rolling rhythm that was slowly increasing in pace. "Do you remember what I said, the first night you were here?"

  "You said a lot of things." Charlie kissed Sugar thoroughly, pushing her down into the bed.

  When Sugar regained her breath, she explained, "I said if I wanted you to do me, you wouldn't have any doubt of it."

  "Oh, yeah." Charlie smiled into their next kiss. "I could do this forever."

  "So could I."

  "But I think I heard a request from the lady about getting done?"

  Sugar breathed into Charlie's mouth a heady, "Yes."

  "You're sure?"

  "Yes," Sugar said again. "And then I'm going to do you, just so we're clear on that."

  "Okay. Sounds good to me."

  Sugar started to laugh in response but Charlie's hand was sud¬denly between her legs, firm and possessive. She stiffened as a wave of desire crashed over her.

  The laughter in Charlie's eyes was gone, and that heavy-lidded, intense gaze seemed to cut Sugar open. She was completely exposed. She couldn't hide the way her body liked what Charlie was doing. They groaned long and hard together as Sugar arched in response. Sugar felt the flutter of fear as her climax grew rapidly, inevitabley. She'd fall to pieces and never be the same again.

  Charlie's arm was tight and firm around her. It's Charlie, she told herself. It's Charlie and you love her. She gazed into Charlie's eyes, saw the heat there, but there was also wonder and strength. It's Charlie holding you so tight, and maybe you won't be the same again after she's loved you, but it's Charlie and she's not going to care. She loves you.

  The love in Charlie's eyes melted the fear and Sugar could only hold on to the strong arms as her body threatened to fly away.

  "If you think you're going to doze off, you're wrong," Sugar said after a few minutes. Her body was in one piece, of course, but what felt new and different was that her heart was no longer all her own. Desire was still stirring inside her, but it was mixed with ten¬derness, a combination she had never felt before.

  Charlie opened one eye. "Am I?"

  Sugar playfully pushed Charlie onto her back, then settled astride her. "I like this position. I can keep track of these long legs and arms of yours." It also allowed her to run her fingers lightly over the compact, defined muscles of Charlie's arms and stomach.

  "Whatever makes you happy, my love."

  Sugar fought down a wonderfully gooey feeling in the pit of her

  stomach. "Quit that lovey-dovey stuff right now. We're having sex."

  "Can't we do both?"

  "For a little while," Sugar said, bending to capture a tantalizing nipple between her teeth. She nibbled and teased it with her tongue, then looked up to see Charlie's response. "Which is it? Lovey-dovey or sex?"

  "Sex, please." Charlie slipped a hand between Sugar's wet center and her stomach.

  Sugar slapped it away. "Stop that. Don't distract me."

  "Can you be distracted?"

  Charlie's fingers made Sugar's legs threaten to collapse. "Yes, probably." It took all her strength to move away from that won¬derful pleasuring touch. Grasping both of Charlie's hands, Sugar lifted them to the headboard. "You keep those right there. They're troublemakers."

&nbs
p; Charlie grinned. "Yes, ma'am."

  Sugar slithered down Charlie's body and licked her lips sugges¬tively. She had the satisfaction of seeing the smile fade from Charlie's face. She submerged into the tight, sleek folds between Charlie's legs and heard Charlie's hoarse groan of response. Strong legs around her, Sugar gave herself over to pleasing Charlie and the wonder of Charlie's abandon. She wanted Charlie to feel beyond wonderful, more than fantastic.

  Charlie cried out sharply, her hands still grasping the head¬board. "Don't stop."

  With an answering moan, Sugar slid fingers inside Charlie, sen¬suously enjoying the slippery heat. With another cry Charlie let go of the headboard, bringing her hands to the back of Sugar's head. They froze together for just a moment, then Charlie's hips bucked wildly and Sugar, with her own cry of pleasure, didn't stop.

  Giggling like teenagers, they admitted hours later to being famished.

  "How about toasted banana bread?"

  "That sounds like ambrosia," Charlie agreed.

  Sugar sliced the bread as Charlie stood behind her, holding her close. Their hips continued to rock together. The night was young, Sugar thought, though it was after midnight. They'd only just gotten started.

  She dropped the slices into the toaster and pushed down on the lever. She gave herself over to the sensuous pleasure of Charlie's kisses on the back of her neck. After a minute she realized the toaster wasn't working.

  "Oh," she said dreamily. "It's not plugged in." She pushed the plug into the outlet.

  The lights went out.

  Charlie laughed into Sugar's ear. "We can eat it untoasted, can't we?"

  "Yes, but what about the lights?"

  Charlie's hands smoothed Sugar's hips, then moved slowly up to caress her breasts. "Who needs lights?"