Unsurprisingly Complicated

by Claudia Burgoa

Thank you.

  Mason I. H. Bradley

  If I had to speak at the moment, nothing would come out. I reread the postcard. I can’t believe he made a postcard from a sunset or the letters. The boy I grew up with wanted to marry me. Before enjoying my postcards, I enter the house and pull the boxes close to the sofa.

  Toby greets me and bounces on top of the couch I’m about to sit on. I open the boxes filled with postcards from Australia, Montana, Peru, Philippines; so many places I can’t keep up. If I combine these boxes with what I have, well, I guess I need to organize my collection. The fifth box is where I notice my iPod, the one I use for running, and on it is a tiny post-it.

  Press play.

  I tap the middle button, slide my finger, and find the same sunset as the cover.

  In my dreams there’s this vision

  A vision I have about us

  A life together with someone

  Someone exactly like you

  [Chorus]

  Everyone in this world needs that someone

  Someone to fulfill their wildest fantasies

  I’m not perfect but I’m your perfect someone

  Someone you can call home.

  An entire life searching

  Searching without a light

  Searching without a path

  But always searching for something… you.

  [Chorus]

  Everyone in this world needs that someone

  Someone to fulfill their wildest fantasies

  I’m not perfect but I’m your perfect someone

  Someone you can call home.

  Someone as complicated

  Someone surprisingly perfect

  Someone as sweet and brave,

  Someone to take me home.

  [Chorus]

  Everyone in this world needs that someone

  Someone to fulfill their wildest fantasies

  I’m not perfect but I’m your perfect someone

  Someone you can call home.

  Nine, I. Love. You. And here’s the proof that my heart has belonged to you for more than twenty years.

  Psst… Psst… swear he came up with the lyrics. With a little help. Some voice editing—plus he’s really sorry and we kind of like him. We love you sis.

  I can’t help but laugh at the ending of the song. The melody continued playing while my brothers sang their part. I bet while those two edited it, and they added the end. This entire package stumps my brain.

  What am I supposed to do now?

  I call the best people I know for the matters of the heart. My parents.

  “Are you guys busy?” I question as Dad answers. JC made it sound as if they had something going on tonight, and I was out of the loop.

  “No, but I like the music you guys made for me,” he responds. “Are you okay?”

  “Confused,” I respond. “How much do you and that husband of yours know?”

  “We know everything about life—we’re your parents. However, you have to be a bit more specific,” Gabe indicates in a few words that I’m not making sense. “You sound agitated. Why don’t you tell us what’s going on with you?”

  He puts the call on speaker, and in a few minutes I bring them up to speed. From the moment Mason appeared in my garage to the postcards and song.

  “Am I being stupid for calling you?” I swing my legs down to the floor and pace back and forth.

  “No,” Dad responds. “You’re being cautious. You want to talk about it before you make a rash decision. What does that tell you?”

  “That I want to work it out.” I hate logic; it takes the edge off the drama and makes things too simple.

  “Hey, without second chances, college boy wouldn’t be here,” Papi says from the background. “Or third, or fourth chances for that matter.”

  “Stop it, Chris, because I gave you some of those, too,” Dad growls. “Without second chances our children wouldn’t be here, you stubborn man.”

  “True story,” Papi confirms. “That’s what a wondrous relationship is—a love story—being together with your best friend. Working it out because, at the end of the day, you want to be with the one who understands and loves you. There’re plenty of good things, but you need to be aware of the bad things, too. Fix and forgive the mistakes… if you’re not willing to work it out and give—or ask—for second chances, then there’s no point being together.”

  I remember how panicked I felt when Porter asked for a second chance. However, with Mason, I’m not afraid— just reserved. The empty spaces his departure left can’t be filled no matter what I do. What if he walks out on me again? I can’t live with fear, either. Tomorrow may be my last day, and I had no Mason to spend it with.

  Live with no regrets.

  The doorbell rings. I run to the kitchen where the security monitor reveals my brothers at the front door.

  “Call us,” Christian offers. “We’re here for you.”

  “You two know what’s going on, don’t you?” I question, but it’s too obvious.

  “Maybe he spoke with us earlier, Ainse.” Chris lets a big exhale out. “He has a thing for you, a pretty serious thing. Did you hear the song? I dare to call it love—the forever kind. Don’t think—follow your heart, baby girl.”

  Stumped, I work against gravity to make my feet move toward the door. My dads helped Mason. I want to squeal because that’s something Chris would only do if he thought Mase was sincere and—if he approved.

  “Put some shoes on, maybe change clothes to something flirty,” JC orders as his heavy black boots approach too close to my vulnerable toes. “We’re going on a road trip.”

  “Why?” I take a step back watching his feet.

  “Part of the, ‘Please forgive me, I’m an idiot, but I love you.’ package.” I elevate my gaze, and he winks at me.

  Giddy with anticipation, my legs regain their strength and make the fastest trip ever to my room. I’m jittery just thinking about what’s next. Instead of changing into something flirty or revealing, I grab an infinity scarf, slide on a pair of boots, and head downstairs. I can’t control the butterflies that are fluttering inside my body.

  What else can he have in store?

  JC drives eastbound on I-90. MJ and I fight in the back seat about the blindfold he wants to put on me. I hate having my eyes covered.

  “If you don’t put it on, this won’t be a surprise,” he insists while laughing. He’s the most ticklish person I’ve ever known, and just the threat of being tickled makes him squirm and laugh.

  “One job, MJ,” JC admonishes him.

  “Not the easiest one since she’s attacking me,” my brother complains. “What if she bites me?”

  “She’s been vaccinated,” JC reminds him. “You’ll survive if she does; do it now before you ruin Bradley’s plan. We don’t like him upset, do we?”

  “For once in your lifetime, don’t be a bitch,” he requests batting his eyes at me. “Be a nice sister.”

  I finally yield, because his puppy-pout is really good. The car stops after only a few minutes. The doors open and close a few times before a hand grips my arm.

  “Let’s get this show on the road, little sister,” JC speaks up, but I know he isn’t the one holding me.

  Those long, strong hands filled with calluses on the base of his palms are Mason’s. His fresh, soapy aroma confirms my suspicions.

  “Walk a few steps,” JC continues. “Follow my lead.”

  I follow the lead of Mason, who holds me and continues walking. The noise of a car ignition makes me jerk to the left. It doesn’t take long for the car to shift, and the sound of it moving away soon follows. I continue walking until the hands that hold me gently force me to stop. The blindfold comes off, and I’m in front of a big house that has a four-door garage to the left. Two floors, tan color with a balcony above the main door. A for sale sign is in front of the house, right next to the steps that lead to a pretty door.

  Mason stands there with his weary, stormy eyes set on me. “Hi.”
He places his hands in his pockets as he swings himself on his heels.

  “Hi.” I take a step backward so I can see him better.

  He rubs his face as he paces back and forth from where I stand to the garage door. I follow halfway and sit on the front step, waiting for him to finish his thinking time.

  “Give me a chance to show you that I’m the right guy for you.” Mason stops in front of me and pulls me up. We stand toe to toe, and our bodies are only inches away from each other. His heat melts my determination to keep a flat façade. He drops his forehead to mine.

  “I’m terrified, Ainse,” he begins. “Scared shitless that I’ll fail you—us. That our life together won’t measure up to what you need, to your standards, because I grew up in a bizarre family. That we’ll end up hating each other. I can’t hate you. I can’t lose you, but then my fear pushed me to act like an idiot, and I lost you.”

  He lowers his head, his eyes never leaving mine.

  “I lost you,” his whispery voice repeats the saddest three words. Mason smoothes my hair then places his hands on my hips.

  “Families are different. No one is normal, and everyone has a different dynamic,” I remind him. “I have two fathers; my mom is a combo of a Petri dish, a surrogate, and a donor.” I try to bring some humor to the conversation, but I fail. He doesn’t react.

  “Life, in fact, is scary,” I whisper. “Love is, as you said, terrifying. I’m also afraid of many things. The future, our careers, my dreams colliding with yours. It’s too much to wonder where we’d be if we can’t mesh our personalities.” I bring my hands to his face and hold his cheeks. “The secret is to keep trying; you can’t fail if you work at it daily,” I repeat my parent’s wise words. “Mase, you gave up too easily. Maybe it was because I’m not that person you can go the distance for. It hurts because my stupid hearts believes that you are it for me.”

  Mason holds my head, and his unwavering eyes have a light to them that makes me keep mine open, even when I want to shut them tight.

  “I came to the realization that I love you more than I will ever love anyone else,” he says. Before I can say anything about the ‘I love you’ he blurted, he gives me a peck on the lips. “Because every day I fall in love even more with who you are. I’m new at this loving thing.” He kisses the tip of my nose placing his hands on the sides of my head. My gut releases a few knots and my lungs are able to take a few more sips of air. “Before you, I never felt anything inside. No one has taken residence in here.” He touches his heart. “Only you. This is yours—or maybe it has been all along.” He grabs my hand and presses my hand to his chest. I lift the other and caress the back of his neck.

  “I can only promise that I’ll make mistakes along the way, and that during those mistakes, I’ll work hard to mend them.”

  “What guarantee do I have that next time you don’t like something you won’t run away again and leave me hanging without an explanation?”

  “I give you my word,” Mase takes a step back from me. Then he pulls something from his pocket and drops to one knee. “With one condition. That you give me a lifetime with you. Marry me, Ainsley Janine Colthurst-Decker. If you marry me, not only will I swear to stick around forever, but I’ll talk about our issues the way you like.”

  “Forever is a big word,” I challenge him.

  “You are interrupting,” he says between clenched teeth. “Patience, lady.”

  “I don’t have any patience.”

  He frowns.

  “If you haven’t figured that out by now, we’re in trouble.”

  “I’ve known that since forever, Nine,” he chuckles. “You’ve never had patience.”

  He rises from his knee and stares down at me. “Look, my parents had a short marriage and divorced because Mom never trusted my father. Trust is hard to earn and to give, but I trust you, and I’m sorry I fucked up. Sometimes I am hot headed and do things without thinking. Logic can disappear when I’m worked up. If you don’t trust me, I get it, and I’ll do everything within my power to win it back.”

  He takes my hand and I want to tell him that my heart and I forgave him at the postcards and letter where he told everyone that one day he’d marry me. Which is the same heart that jumped inside his chest the moment he mentioned that he’s never loved anybody the way he does me.

  But I wait.

  “I fell hopelessly in love with you. Your smiles, your voice, your eyes, your heart, the way you love unconditionally. All of you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If I only had one day left to live, I’d die a happy man if I shared it with you. Wish number eight: spend the rest of my life with you. Wish number nine: create a family. Finally have a house.” He tips his head toward the big house in front of us. “A dog, babies—our babies.”

  I want to find a way to assure him that we can do this, we can make it. An idea starts to take root. “Yes,” I try purse my lips hiding the smile. His hooded gaze peers me down. “I’ll marry you—I’ll have your babies.”

  “No, damn it, I have a speech.” He takes another exasperated breath. “One where I tell you that you’re the spark my life needs in order to be happy. With you I have the home I never thought I would need or want—you’re my life, my home, my heart. You bring the best out in me, and I don’t want to spend another day without you. I swear that if you give me a chance, I can be everything you want. The speech included the idea of eloping and the possibility of buying this house—making it our home.”

  Tears spill from my eyes. My heart does a few flips at the idea of him thinking of me as his home, as his spark, as his. Mason is stoic and watching. I forgot how much he hates to wait for answers. I wipe my tears and speak, “You’re already all I want, Mase.” I clear some tears with the back of my hand. “That’s all I want. You.” I stand on my tiptoes and kiss his lips.

  “I love you, Mase, and it killed me that you left and didn’t believe in us. But you know what? You came back. You always do. Then there’s the part where you understand me, and if not, you work hard to understand me even when I screw with your logic. So, if the proposal is still open, yes, I’ll marry you.”

  He kisses me long and deep, his hand cupping the back of my head as the other grabs me by the waist. The pain from when he left and every moment I ached with longing for him while he was gone dissipates as we hold each other, connected by that one kiss. As we untangle from each other, Mase slips the ring on my finger. A round solitaire on a twisted band, flanked by two infinity signs covered with tiny diamonds.

  “Are those infinity signs?”

  “Yes,” he says sheepishly.

  “I love you, my adorkable guy.”

  “Unique enough?”

  “You gave it to me. Mase. You’re unlike any other person I’ve ever met. This ring is like us; we’re two of a kind who finally found each other.”

  I kiss Nine’s knuckles while we wait outside her parents’ home. As promised, we came to have breakfast with them and discuss our wedding plans. Nine has no idea when she wants to finalize our union. At least not yet. It’s all up to her, though. If I had to decide, I’d do it right now. There’s no reason for us to wait. Well, yes there is… it’s right in front of us.

  Chris Decker and Gabe Colt, who made me sweat when I told them that I wanted to marry their daughter. They want to throw her a big wedding, walk her down the aisle, and give her away.

  “Too close, Bradley. A foot apart from my child,” Chris instructs me.

  Gabe pulls Nine toward him and hugs her without saying a word to either of us. They walk inside, and in front of me remains the scary one, my future father-in-law. The guy who I begged for help and who gave me what he called the most important advice: ‘Listen to your heart. Your heart knows what’s best when it comes to the one you love, Son.’ And I did, along with everything else that I could come up with. Letting my heart lead didn’t turn out to be dangerous, after all. It’s actually the best way to reach Ainse.

  “Give them a minute or so.” Chris
leans against the wall. “His child just got engaged, it’s hitting him hard. Not that it isn’t hitting me, but every person is different. Gabe feels as if he’s losing her all over again.”

  He shrugs and I’m left with more questions than answers. How will they lose her and doesn’t Chris give a shit about it, too?

  “Yeah, hard for either one of us to understand. You’re an only child, I never had siblings or parents.” Chris understood my blank expression. “Gabe’s the baby of his family. As his brothers and sisters married, his relationship with them changed, became somehow superficial. When he moved out of Albany, he stayed in touch, but it has never been the same with any of them. Janine and James don’t see our kids too often. He fears that Ainse won’t stick around and the grandkids will barely know us.”

  “You’re welcome to care for Toby,” I joke. “Nine won’t ever let that happen. She’s the family glue.” I offer him an olive branch. “She adores her guys, and I kind of like the four of you.”

  Chris shrugs, skeptical of what I say.

  “You know, the house next door to the one we’re buying is for sale,” I offer. His green eyes stare at me, waiting for more, and his lips fight a smile that’s so much like his daughter’s. “Enough bedrooms for out of town visitors, and as I said, it’s right next door to the new Bradley’s home. She’ll love to know that you two are close by now and again.”

  Chris scratches his ear and doesn’t say a word. He stares at Nine’s house for a few seconds and then looks back at me. “You’re a good man, Mason.” His half smile tells me I did something right. “We just may look into that house you mentioned. In a few years, you’re going to need help with those babies. You are having children, aren’t you?”

  I nod at him and then look at the door where Nine appears, her eyes filled with moisture and a few dried tears on her cheeks.

  “Lord, your husband thinks this is the end of the world,” she announces and looks at Chris. “It won’t be, because Deckers stick together. Family time Sunday is a tradition, right Papi?”

  He pulls her to him and hugs her tight. “Right, baby girl.” Gabe comes out and Chris touches his arm without releasing Nine. “We’re not losing a child, but gaining another son and all that other fucking shit that implies.”