I Knocked Him Out (Love at First Crime Book 2)

by Jessica Frances

  “Excuse me?” I gasp.

  “Well, okay, I knew you had tits before that day. But I didn’t know you had amazing tits,” he explains, which I answer in the form of slapping his arm. “Hey, remember, I was a teenage boy at this point. Tits were almost all I cared about.”

  “Stop calling them tits,” I snap.

  “What do you want me to call them? Boobies? Melons? Handfuls of heaven?”

  I slap him again before I lean against him, him easily wrapping his arm around me and holding me against him. “How about breasts?”

  “Fine, I was a breast man back then. Still am now, but I do tend to see more than just breasts.”

  “Nice to know.”

  “A man has to grow eventually,” he says lightly, a smile in his tone, and I realize why when he continues. “I have grown to appreciate a great set of legs, a juicy ass, and obviously a woman’s pussy is most definitely the gateway to heaven.”

  “Dec!” I shriek now, turning to slap him, but before I make contact, he shifts us so I am underneath him and he looms over me. My breathing accelerates as his eyes dip to my lips.

  “I also love a woman’s lips, imagining what they will taste like, picturing them pressed over my body, perhaps a certain place more than others.” He winks. “But I also know, as important as her body is, her mind is perhaps more so. She needs to make me laugh, be smart, understanding, compassionate, and sweet. She needs to have a huge heart and ambition, passion, and drive.”

  “So, I suppose I fit the bill pretty well,” I joke.

  Declan never stops looking serious when he gives me his answer. “You do.”

  “Dec …” I murmur, not sure how to answer that.

  “But back at school, that day, I saw your tits. And I think part of me, the lower part”—he smiles then—“fell a little in love with you that day. And I hated how much the guys around me noticed you.”

  “Is that when you and the others decided to scare every boy away from me?” I ask on a pout. Dating for me in school was not a fun experience.

  “Yep.” This is said without an ounce of remorse.

  “That was incredibly annoying.”

  “I know. You were never shy communicating your annoyance with us over that.” He has his smile back now, obviously able to see the funny side in those arguments.

  “Okay, so that sort of explains that one moment at school, but why did things never change between us? Zander and I fought a lot, yet he’s one of my closest friends. I find Joey mildly annoying, but I never hated him. Was it always about you thinking I was some spoiled brat?”

  “After I left school, I didn’t give you much thought,” he admits. “When I got Zander’s phone call about Yorke harassing you in college, I was angry that someone was bothering you. However, I felt just as annoyed that I was the only one free to go up there and do something about it. Then I saw you, and by this point, I had caught up to being an ass, leg, and pussy man. I hadn’t caught up to the inside things. So again, a certain part of me fell a little in love with you that time, too.”

  I shake my head at his explanation. “You were a jerk to me that day.”

  “I was frustrated with myself because I thought I knew who you were and what you wanted.”

  “And who and what was that?”

  “I have always seen your money. My whole life, it has felt like it has been thrown in my face.”

  I blanch at that, never wishing to have ever done that to someone. I was sure yesterday, during our conversation, I had never thrown that in anyone’s face. That I never acted like that. Am I wrong? Was I doing it to Declan without even realizing it?

  “Don’t,” he pulls me away from my worry. “That was my issue, not yours. I knew you had money, so I always looked for it. Saw it in the clothes you wore, the car you drove, and the rich college you went to.” His shoulder lifts a little in an apologetic shrug. “I always just saw money with you. A hot body, for sure, but then just your money. I figured you would find yourself some rich asshole to settle down with. I figured you saw us—me—as a charity case; someone to feel sorry for.”

  “I never thought that way,” I adamantly deny.

  “I know. I mean, I know that now. But for a long time, that’s how I thought. When Dec hired you after he finally fired that dumb bimbo who was all over him, I was furious. How could someone like you want a regular job? A regular paycheck? I knew we could trust you, but I didn’t think you would stick around long enough to ever be reliable.”

  Those words hurt because I have always prided myself on being a reliable friend, a stable person who is always there for others. Even though I know he’s talking in past tense, and it was always clear he never liked me, it sucks to know he thought so little of me.

  He shifts himself, one leg moving between mine and moving up until he is resting against my crotch. I gasp as air gets caught in my lungs and desire immediately begins to circle my body. It turns out, he is just getting into a better position to hold himself over me.

  He moves the hand resting against the armrest and cups my face, bringing my eyes back to his. “I’m sorry I ever thought those things, and I’m grateful you have proved me wrong at every step.”

  I give him a small smile, already feeling my hurt dissipating. It’s in the past, and I can’t say I haven’t thought some awful things about Declan. Holding on to it will achieve nothing.

  “But seeing you most days, seeing how well you fit in and how well you worked, I started to lose my blind hatred for you.”

  “Really?” Because he was still an asshole to me while I worked with him.

  “I saw how smart and fast thinking you are. I saw your compassion when we found out the news about Zander’s parents, and I saw your passion to help people when clients were delivered the bad news they hoped they had been overreacting about. You never hesitated to comfort them, offering them a few words to give them strength.

  “When Ava first walked in, you saw how Zander was with her, and you immediately welcomed her into the fold. I might have been able to keep myself bubble wrapped in my misconceptions of you through our childhood, but that became harder.”

  “Then why stay an asshole to me?” I push. Surely it wasn’t all about his enjoyment of arguing with me.

  “Because I was angry that I could ever feel anything for you,” he admits, his eyes turning downcast.

  “Huh? Why was that a bad thing?”

  “Because …” He gulps loudly, his gaze on my breasts, yet I know he’s not seeing them. He has travelled somewhere else in his mind.

  “Declan?”

  “Because, how could I feel that way toward you when Artie used to love you?”

  The air in my lungs completely disappears as his words hit me like a direct punch.

  At school, there wasn’t just Zander, Declan, and Joey making me un-dateable. There was Artie, too, the boy who lived across the road from me and Zander and who was also like a brother to me.

  Being three years younger means I was always a little out of the loop with them. I had three years of school while they were off at college. I then went to a completely different college, which meant another four years of only seeing them when I came home on holidays.

  Losing Artie sucked, and I cried most nights for months after we lost him, but I know it was worse for the guys. They had seen him almost daily, and though part of me could easily imagine he was still out there somewhere, living his life, the guys felt his missing presence like a living piece of their everyday lost forever.

  “Sash, breathe!” Declan demands, shaking me a little, making me realize I’m no longer lying on the couch with Declan over me. I’m sitting up, Declan beside me, looking more worried than I have ever seen him.

  Taking a deep breath, and then another, I try to settle my thoughts.

  “What are you talking about?” I finally gasp out.

  Declan looks hesitant now, likely regretting bringing this up.

  “Artie was in love with you,” he says quietly, bracing
himself.

  “You’re wrong.” I shake my head, denial heavily settling inside me.

  “I’m not. We went out drinking one night a couple years before he died, and by the end, it was only Artie and me still standing. He admitted he was in love with you, had been since you were young. I think Zander felt this brotherly connection with you immediately, but Artie felt something else. When they started hanging out with you, I remember Joey and I not agreeing with it. I mean, you were just some annoying kid who had no idea about boy stuff. But Zander and Artie always insisted and they always won. Eventually, you won Joey over, and I just stopped complaining to them and tried to make you want to leave instead.”

  “Why did he never tell me?” I whisper, still struggling to wrap my mind around this new information.

  “I think he was just waiting. You were too young for a long time, and then away for even more. I think he thought he would make his move when you finished college, and then … I don’t know.” Declan gives a half-shrug. “He was focused on becoming a cop, and then he was dead,” Declan finishes bluntly, and even after all this time, I wince at his words.

  “I always … He was always like a brother to me,” I say quietly.

  “I know, and I think deep down he knew that, too.”

  “I can’t believe …” I shake my head, feeling like my world has been rocked.

  “I know you’re still trying to process this, and maybe I should have never told you, but I want you to understand what was going through my head.” He rests his hands over my shoulders, sliding them up my neck and resting them on either side of my face. “I was constantly torn between how I used to feel and how I was growing to feel about you. Add in my guilt over how I knew Artie felt about you and my need to protect you for him at any cost, and I guess that just left me being an asshole to you.”

  I try to take in his words, but I keep circling back to Artie. Back to how he felt. I recall a million moments between us, seeing if now I know this about him, if I see something differently, but I don’t.

  “When you knocked me out last week, I can’t say it changed how I felt, but I think it forced me to see you in a different light. Strong, powerful, capable, and with one hell of a right hook.” He smiles at me now. “When I woke up with you leaning over me, I couldn’t stop thinking about how sweet you were, concerned you might have hurt me. I might have lashed out at you and been a bastard, but inside, I was freaking out. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could ignore how I was feeling. I wasn’t sure you could ever feel the same way.

  “When I overheard that bastard talking about you, I wanted so badly to walk over to him and kick his ass. But then the idea popped in my head that I should show him that you already belong to me. That you weren’t single, and he needed to fuck off.”

  “Again, I’m not sure I agree with this whole belonging and owning a person,” I mutter, seriously not caring much about that now.

  “Shh …” He leans in closer. I also don’t agree with someone shushing me, but for Declan, I can make an exception. “So, I walked up to you, my heart going faster than any adrenaline rush I’ve ever felt, my palms sweaty like some teenager about to go on his first date, and my lips were suddenly dry. I second-guessed myself every step I took, but as soon as I had you in my arms, your lips on me, and your shocked eyes staring into mine, I felt right. Having you in my arms felt good, and I knew I needed to do whatever I could to keep that happening.”

  My own heart is racing at hearing his description of his approach to me. I’m flattered and turned on by the way he felt and the fact that he’s not embarrassed to admit to it now. But something else sticks out in my mind.

  “You were an asshole to me that night at the club.”

  “Only because you were about to drink from a roofied beverage,” he rushes to defend himself. “And look, honestly, I doubt we’ll ever truly stop fighting with each other. I think part of me will crave that with you, if only because we could indulge in make-up sex, but just know that, while it might seem mad and sudden to you, to me, this has been a long time coming.”

  “But you said sex isn’t happening between us,” I grumpily point out.

  “Not yet, and I’m certain if sex was open to either of us, we wouldn’t have made it three seconds on this couch before I had you bent over it and taking you.” My eyes widen at that visual. “But, what we just talked about is important and it needed to be said. I think we’re going to have a lot of these conversations in the short-term, and if we want a long-term with each other, then we have to commit to this no sex thing for just a little bit longer.”

  I can’t exactly argue his logic. No way would I have fought for any sort of conversation with him if he had bent me over this couch to have his way with me. Not that I don’t believe we couldn’t do just that now that we’ve had this conversation, but I know that won’t be a good idea, either.

  “Okay, so what happens now?”

  “Now we make out on this couch while keeping our clothes on.” He sounds stern but smiles when I place an exaggerated pout over my lips. “Then, tomorrow, I will take you out for lunch, and tomorrow night, I will treat you to a quick dinner then bingo night with the oldies.”

  I smile at this, excited to see inside the nursing home.

  “Sounds perfect.”

  “Then, if you’ll have me, I will take you out somewhere special Wednesday night. A proper, get dressed up and eat weirdly named, foreign dishes type of meal.”

  “Way to sell it!” I roll my eyes at him, and again find myself tackled with Declan on top of me.

  He presses his body down on mine, his knee finding its way back to my crotch, but this time, the pressure he places there is on purpose.

  “Wait,” I say just before his lips touch mine. “I just have one question to ask you.”

  “What is it?”

  “At the risk of ruining the mood, it’s about Artie.”

  He leans back a little, his full attention on me. “What about him?”

  “Does it …? Do you still feel weird about us when he used to …?” I can’t even say the words. Maybe I should be asking myself this question.

  “While we were away, I kept asking myself if I was ready for this, if I was ready to pursue you. I thought about Artie and if I was somehow betraying him, but I don’t believe he would think that. I know he loved you, but I know he would never want us to hold each other back for him. He would be the first to kick my ass if I hurt you, but he wouldn’t begrudge us happiness with each other. Foremost, he wanted you happy. So, I guess my question for you is: are you happy?”

  His answer is enough to settle my own worries. I don’t even need to think hard before I have my answer.

  “Yes,” I tell him before grabbing his shirt and yanking him down to me, crushing my lips against his before he takes control.

  He slips his tongue into my mouth while pressing his thigh against me. As I rub over him, I’m in the perfect position to get myself off.

  This is definitely the best make out session I have ever had with someone in my life, even if Declan did stick to his guns and zero clothes are removed.

  Sleeping in separate rooms feels like a punishment after such an intimate night, but separate beds won’t last long between us.

  He might be right about the no sex thing for the moment since, for the first time ever, I feel something other than anger when I think about my past with Declan.

  Understanding is important if the past isn’t going to be something that will come between us later, and I can’t deny there is something exciting and thrilling about waiting to indulge in sex. I just hope this stage doesn’t last much longer.

  Knowing how Artie felt about me is huge and something I need time to process. However, it doesn’t change my growing feelings for Declan.

  There is something happening between us, and I refuse to back away fully until I know what it is and if it’s worth the risk.

  Little did I know things were soon to come crashing down between us.
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br />   Chapter 10

  Tuesday starts off rushed, with Declan taking me back to my place for some new clothes in the morning.

  Everything looks the same as before I left, except the flowers are gone and the locks have been changed. He made three copies. One for me to keep, one to give to Zander when he returns, and one for himself.

  I’m not sure how I feel exactly about the fact that he gifted himself a key to my home, but since he also passes me a key to his own place as simply as if he was passing me a bowl at the dinner table, I don’t comment on it.

  I’m rather surprised by how everything has been easy between us. There is a known history, meaning we’re not starting from scratch when we talk about ourselves, but enough interest because often what we know isn’t the full truth. We are comfortable around each other, and I hope this stays true between us.

  We drive into work together since Declan believes it is pointless to take two cars for the same trip. I do like my independence, but I would never say no to a free ride. It also helps that Declan is spending most of his time in the office to cover any client meetings scheduled and new ones we might pick up while Zander is away. Therefore, I don’t argue about this new arrangement. I just enjoy the chance to watch Declan drive without it being weird. Well, okay, it might still be weird, but it’s less obvious when he has to focus on driving.

  Then the day happens, which is busy and more hectic than usual. Declan has nonstop meetings all morning, and Joey has three clients coming in for bad news. Bad news because each one comes out distressed or looking like their beloved pet has been put down.

  None of these people are more upset than Ms. Grange. She’s a woman who looks like she needs an extra eight hours in her day to get some sleep. She’s pretty, but the bags under her eyes, the pale skin, and sagging clothes do their best to hide that.

  We get a lot of wives who come to us looking for our help in finding confirmation on their partner’s infidelity. Some get the good news that what they thought was cheating was just a misunderstanding. Quite often, though, they are return customers since they come back with the same suspicions months later. Some get the bad news that their suspicions were correct. It’s sad how often that news is met with a smile or with relief.