Love

by Sherryl Woods

  She sighed and rested a hand against his cheek. “I wish that were true, Jason. I really wish it were true.” And for the first time since she’d met him, she admitted to herself that she’d done the unforgivable: she had fallen head over heels in love.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Dana had taken a real liking to Brandon Halloran. She would have been grateful to him for no other reason than the way he treated Sammy, but there was more to it. He was a lot like Jason. Impetuous on the surface, but rock solid underneath. There was something comforting in thinking that Jason would be just like him in another forty or so years.

  She thought of his lively humor, his loving meddling, his sage advice, and she wished she had a grandfather like that. Since she didn’t, she wished she could adopt the man sitting across from her, who was regarding her so pensively.

  She’d been surprised when he’d invited her to lunch. No, invited was the wrong word. He’d insisted on it, latching on to her coat and her elbow with a determination that had left her with little choice. She couldn’t say she was sorry to be with him, though, even if he had brought her back to Washington’s Tavern where her relationship with the Hallorans had begun so inauspiciously.

  “Okay,” Brandon said finally, pinning her with one of his no-nonsense gazes. “Let’s talk turkey, young lady. What was that little speech all about last night?”

  Dana’s spoon fell from her fingers, splattering clam chowder in every direction. Cleaning up the mess gave her time to think. Even with the extra time, the best she could manage was, “What speech?”

  “Don’t play dumb with me. Your exit lines. All that garbage about leaving us Hallorans alone.”

  “It was obvious to me that there were things you wanted to talk about, personal things. There was no room for strangers.” The same argument hadn’t worked on Jason, but perhaps Brandon would be more gullible.

  He gave a rough hoot. “Young lady, who are you trying to kid? You’re hardly a stranger. Looks to me as if my grandson is intent on marrying you. And if I know Jason, he’ll have his way.”

  “That’s wishful thinking on your part,” she countered.

  He regarded her intently. “You trying to tell me you’re not interested?”

  Dana tried. She gathered up all the appropriate denials and tried to force them past her lips, but the lies wouldn’t come. “I wish I weren’t,” she said finally.

  “Why?”

  Dana ignored the question in favor of asking, “Did he put you up to this?”

  “Up to what?” he inquired innocently. “So far all I’ve asked is a simple question. Are you in love with the man or not? I’ll admit I’m biased, but he seems like a fine catch to me. No real faults, unless you count that stubbornness he gets from me. Actually, I see that as a beneficial quality.”

  “He is a fine catch, as you put it. My reasons are between Jason and me.”

  “Not entirely,” he said. “In this family we all care what happens to one another. Haven’t you noticed how much meddling has gone on trying to figure out this mess between Lacey and Kevin? We still don’t have a clue. It’s a damned shame, too. There was a time they were so much in love, they lit up a room just by coming into it. I was blind to it then, but I’m not blind to what’s going on between you and Jason. You have the same effect on each other.”

  Dana settled for agreeing with his observation about Kevin and Lacey Halloran. Even if Jason hadn’t told her how worried he was about his parents, she would have sensed the undercurrents last night. Even so, it was none of her business. Or theirs. She reminded Brandon of that.

  “I’ve also noticed that they’re telling everyone to butt out,” she said.

  “True, but that doesn’t mean we won’t go on trying. Now let’s get back to you and Jason, a subject you seem determined to avoid, I might add. Only explanation I can think of is that I’m hitting too close to the truth. You are in love with the boy, but something’s holding you back from saying it.”

  Dana really wished he’d drop the subject, but she couldn’t see any way of avoiding the discussion short of getting up and walking out of the restaurant. So, even though the conversation was likely to make her miserable, she would sit here and listen while he extolled his grandson’s virtues. She doubted he even knew half of them. She knew them all. One of the most important was his family loyalty. She also understood Brandon’s need to protect his own. They were two of a kind on that count.

  “Well, girl, what do you have to say for yourself?” he was demanding again. “What’s wrong with marrying into this family?”

  “It seems to me you’re the one with all the answers,” she retorted. “You tell me.”

  “My guess is you’re scared.”

  She nodded reluctantly. “On the mark so far.”

  “Of what, for goodness’ sake?”

  “You’ve seen how Jason is. He gets all caught up in being protective.”

  “What’s so terrible about having a man cherish you like that?”

  “What if I forget how to take care of myself?”

  There was a twinkle in his eyes. “You aiming to give up your career and stay home and eat bonbons?”

  “Of course not.”

  “You planning to cut out that razor-sharp tongue of yours? I’ve heard you’ve given my grandson what for more than once.”

  “I usually say what’s on my mind. I guess that wouldn’t change,” she conceded grudgingly.

  “Then it must be that you think you’re not good enough to be part of this highfalutin Boston clan. Let me straighten you out on that right now. We’ve always been a family of scramblers. Ain’t nothing ever been handed to us. I think you’d fit right in.”

  He regarded her slyly. “Besides, if you love my grandson, that’s all it takes. I learned my lesson long ago, when it comes to making hasty judgments and interfering in other people’s lives. I walked away from love once in my own life. I know how that can change a person forever. I don’t want to see you and my grandson waking up one day with regrets the way I do.”

  Dana’s eyebrows rose a fraction.

  “Don’t you smart mouth me,” he said.

  “I never said a word.”

  He nodded, his expression turning complacent. “Okay, then. Here’s the deal. You think you need to make a contribution, something beyond the fact that you’re making Jason happy, something more important than giving our old company a spruced-up image. Am I right?”

  Though she wanted to argue just on principle, Dana had no ready comeback for the truth. She folded her hands and waited. Whatever this sneaky old man had in mind was bound to be a doozy.

  He grinned at her stubborn silence. “I’ll take that for a yes. So, that being the case, I’m going to let you buy into Halloran Industries. You’ll be a partner right along with the rest of us.”

  Dana couldn’t help it. She laughed. “With what, pray tell?”

  “With the money you’re going to make designing a whole new line of sweaters.”

  She stared at him incredulously. “Sweaters?”

  “That’s right. You’ve got an eye for what young people like and a flair for the dramatic. Take the one you have on now. Cheers the whole place up. I’ve snapped a few photos over the past few weeks. Showed them to a friend of mine. He’ll make you an offer to carry the line, if you’re interested. You can do whatever you want with the money, but if it’ll make you feel more like a part of the family to invest in Halloran Industries, we’ll work it out.”

  His gaze pinned her. “Or you can make Jason the happiest man in the world and accomplish exactly the same thing by marrying him.”

  “You can’t bribe me into becoming a Halloran.”

  Brandon regarded her indignantly. “Who’s bribing you? It’s a fair deal. If you think about it, you’ll realize that. This is one time you shouldn’t let bullheadedness get in the way of what’s best for your future. Those sweaters would give you and that brother of yours a mighty fine stake.”

  It was only l
ater, when she’d mentally stripped the scene of her emotional reaction, that she realized how much faith Brandon Halloran had in her—and in Jason’s love for her. Granted, Brandon was somewhat biased, but it was probably the most objective opinion she was likely to get from someone who knew all the parties involved.

  Yet it still wasn’t enough.

  * * *

  “SO HOW WAS lunch with my grandfather?” Jason wanted to know the minute Dana got back to his office. “Why did he want to see you?”

  She regarded him closely. “You don’t know?”

  “Know what?”

  “He made me an offer. He wants Halloran Industries to produce a line of sweaters that I will design. He figures if he gives me a stake in the company, I’ll feel like I belong. I think he was proposing on your behalf.”

  After an initial spark of excitement, Jason’s expression faltered. “You turned him down, didn’t you?”

  “No,” she said, still feeling pressured. “I told him I’d think about it. I’m not blind to the opportunity he’s offering me. I’m just worried about the strings.”

  “There are none, Dana. My grandfather doesn’t operate that way and neither do I. He obviously sees this line as an excellent way of expanding our presence in the marketplace. He’s been itching to tackle something new for a long time now. I’ve had a hunch from the day he saw that first sweater of yours that he was plotting something like this.”

  Dana began to pace. “It’s ridiculous. I don’t know a thing about designing sweaters.”

  “Oh, really?”

  She noticed him glance over at the one she was wearing, the one his grandfather told her cheered up a room. It was bright red with yellow accents and one bold streak of blue. She had to admit her spirits had risen when she’d been making it. She’d used the yellow yarn simply because it had been left over from another project. The instant she’d begun knitting it in, though, she’d known it was right.

  “Who came up with that one?” Jason asked.

  “I did.”

  “And the other half dozen or so I’ve seen you wear?”

  “I did.”

  “Ever get any compliments on them?”

  “Yes,” she said slowly. “Quite a few people have asked where I bought them.”

  Jason nodded. “What did my grandfather suggest? A limited line, sold in exclusive boutiques?”

  “Actually I didn’t let him get that far. He did say he knew someone who was interested in the line.”

  Jason picked up his phone and rang his grandfather’s office. Dana was so busy trying to imagine seeing her sweater designs in some fancy boutique, she barely heard his end of the conversation. What would it be like to have unlimited resources at her command? To be able to select a color and create a dye that matched exactly what she saw in her mind’s eye? To choose yarns that felt soft, rather than those on sale? She was surprised to discover that the idea tempted.

  Jason whistled softly at something his grandfather said. “I see,” he said. “Yeah, I will definitely tell her that.”

  She glanced at him as he hung up.

  “Granddad told me who he showed your sweaters to.”

  “And?”

  Jason named a designer whose clothes were sold in the most exclusive shops in the world. Dana’s mouth dropped open. “You’re kidding, right?”

  “I’m not kidding. He’ll take any one-of-a-kind design you make by hand as exclusives for his private customers. He thinks the ski crowd will flip over them. Then he’d like at least four other designs in limited production for his ready-to-wear line that’s going into department stores for the first time next year.”

  Dana couldn’t even grasp the fact that this man wanted to sell a few of her sweaters, much less the fact that Brandon Halloran was willing to commit his company to producing four designs in quantity. She shot Jason a puzzled look.

  “Won’t it be incredibly expensive just to set up the equipment to make these sweaters? It’s not the same as making a bolt of cloth, is it?”

  Jason grinned. “As Granddad sees it, that’s just part of the fun. We’ll be doing something new and exciting.”

  “You’d probably prefer that he stick to weaving woolens.”

  Jason sighed. “A month ago, maybe even a few days ago, I would have said yes. I’m starting to look at things differently now. Sure, Halloran Industries is a business and we want it to be profitable, but if you’re going to spend your life doing something, you’d really better like it as well. It won’t kill us if we make a little less. And at the kind of prices Granddad intends to charge, we definitely won’t go broke.”

  “What kind of money are we talking about?”

  “I’d say your share ought to enable you to do just about anything you’d like to do,” he said, naming a figure that would have seemed beyond the realm of possibility just a few short months ago.

  Dazed, Dana nodded. “I’ve got to go,” she said. “I’ll see you at home later.”

  Jason’s expression grew puzzled. “Are you okay?”

  “For a woman who feels as if she’s been hit over the head with a baseball bat, I’m doing just fine.”

  She walked for hours, oblivious to the cold, oblivious to the snow that swirled in the air. What Brandon Halloran was offering to her was total financial independence for the first time in her life. She would truly be free to make choices, to give Sammy the kind of life she’d wanted for herself growing up, including a college education. They’d be able to live almost anyplace they wanted. Maybe not in a house as fine as Jason’s, but certainly in one that was comfortable, that had its own fireplace and maybe even a bay window.

  So, why wasn’t she shouting for joy? Why wasn’t she racing to look through the classified ads for apartments? Why wasn’t she picking up a sketch pad to draw sweater designs, rather than brochure layouts? Was it because the thought of walking away from Jason left this lonely emptiness deep inside her?

  When she finally went home, still with no answers, she slowly climbed the steps to her room. Inside, she pulled out all of the sweaters she’d made over the years and spread them on the bed. She studied each one, recalling the exact moment when she’d come up with the idea, the hunt for the right yarn in some discount store, the frustration when she couldn’t find the exact shade she’d had in mind. She rubbed her fingers over uneven stitches and careless seams in her first faltering attempts.

  Somewhere along the way these bold sweaters had become a part of her, an expression of all of her bright dreams for the future. How could she bear to give away—even for a bundle of money—something that was her? Wouldn’t she lose herself in the process?

  There was no question, though, that an opportunity like this knocked once in a lifetime. Only a fool would turn it down. It would give her options she’d never even imagined. She could leave the Lansing Agency. Or stay. She could leave this house.

  Or, she realized with a start, she could stay. If she stayed, she could pay her own way and Sammy’s. She would have the financial independence she’d always craved, even here in Jason’s home. As for emotional independence, that didn’t look nearly as attractive to her as it once had.

  The freedom to choose. Wasn’t that all she had ever really wanted? And given the choice, wasn’t Jason the only man she could imagine loving? It kept coming back to Jason and the depth of the feelings that had flourished despite her best attempts to fight them.

  For a woman who had left the house this morning convinced that there was no way for her to have a future with a man like Jason, a few hours had made an undeniable difference. She had hope now. She could finally see that letting Jason into her heart was not the same as losing a part of herself. For the first time in her life, she could see that love gave people strength. It didn’t rob them of it.

  Chapter Fourteen

  When his mother called and asked him to lunch, Jason didn’t know what to think. She wasn’t in the habit of meeting him in the city. On top of that, it had been less than forty-eight ho
urs since he’d last seen her. Although he was having a horrible day, with no promise of improvement even if he were to put in sixteen hours straight, something in her tone told him to make the time for her.

  “Could we do it here? I’ll have something sent in,” he suggested, reluctant to alter his new routine now that he was finally energized about work.

  “I’d rather not,” she said. “This won’t take long, but it is important, and I’d prefer a little privacy. What about that little French restaurant up the street. We won’t be interrupted there, will we?”

  Jason sensed she was asking about more than the size of the restaurant’s crowd at noon. Was she truly trying to avoid his father? “No one from here goes there, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  “I’ll see you there, then.”

  Now that Jason was sitting across from her, he felt an ominous sense of foreboding. Lacey Halloran looked uncomfortable. No, Jason thought, studying her more closely. She looked miserable. Though she was dressed cheerfully enough in a becoming rose-colored wool dress with her mane of caramel-colored hair falling in loose waves to her shoulders, there was an air of despair that was unmistakable. There was no hint of the usual sparkle in her blue eyes. He had a hunch that skillful makeup hid dark shadows under those eyes as well.

  “Mom,” he began quietly, “what’s bothering you? You aren’t worried about Dana and me, are you?”

  She glanced up from the consommé she’d been idly stirring for the past five minutes. For the first time since he’d arrived there was a spark of animation in her eyes. “No, absolutely not. I like her. She has a lot of spirit. I used to be like that once.”

  She sounded so melancholy and sad, as if she’d lost something precious and didn’t know how to get it back. Jason felt his stomach knot. He laid a hand on hers. Hers was like ice. “Are you okay?”

  She closed her eyes for an instant, and Jason’s worry mounted. When she opened her eyes, that unmistakable sadness was there again.

  “I really don’t know how to get into this with you,” she said finally. “I told your father I wanted to be the one to tell you, but now that the time has come, I can’t seem to find the words.”