BEAST

by Pace, Pepper

  He focused his attention back to the men glaring at him. “Then we got called down. I wasn’t supposed to be on any more missions. I’d requested off and he’d okay’d it weeks before this mission came up! I should have been taken off the roster once my Commander okay’d it. But it didn’t work like that. My name wouldn’t come off the roster until I BQ’d for a new position.” He stared at them, waiting.

  “But you still got out of it. You used your face as a way to get out of it!”

  Christopher sighed and looked at the ceiling. “The Commander okay’d my surgery.” He looked at them again. “He didn’t have to. Don’t think for a second that he didn’t know that he was getting me out of a mission.” Christopher glared at them angrily. “And while each of you dickheads have been finding girlfriends and knocking up women and getting married, I have been alone. Okay? I could have had surgery and…maybe found the confidence to find someone too. But then it would have taken me away from the team for upwards of six months. I wasn’t willing to do that! This team…this was my life. And I happen to know what facial surgery feels like; it ain’t pleasant. And guess what? I’ll still be ugly, okay? I fucking know that!

  “But for Ashleigh…” he nodded his head. “I’d do it in a heartbeat if my face will just look a little bit better for her. If people will stop staring and…”He shook his head before saying, ‘if it means that her ex can’t talk his way back into her life’.

  No one said anything.

  “Look. I know I was still wrong. But I put in a request to be taken off the roster long before the mission came up.”

  Carlos rubbed his cheeks eyeing Christopher. “Sounds like you stalling, son. Anybody would have pick you up with your training.”

  Christopher was shaking his head. “I just need to find the perfect job for me.”

  “Yeah.” TK said. “One where you can shoot a gun and throw some grenades while in the field and then come home and perv your girlfriend at work all day. Yeah…that’s a hard job to top.”

  Lem turned away with a look of disgust. “Don’t worry dude. We’ll watch her for you, even though that’s supposed to be YOUR job to keep juiceheads off her in the gym. But…I’m pretty sure she would have hit that guy in the head with a free weight had we not gotten down to the gym in time.”

  “He was pretty big, though.” TK added. “Good thing we were watching.”

  Christopher felt like he was going to black out. Stars moved in front of his eyes. “What the hell are you saying?” He managed to growl past the fury that was overtaking his thoughts. Were they saying that someone had accosted Ashleigh in the gym?

  TK and Lem exchanged looks. “She didn’t tell you?” TK spoke.

  Though no one could see Christopher’s face, the change to his posture spoke volumes.

  “Tell me what?” He asked.

  Lem gave him a smug look. “Couple days ago there was an incident in the gym. We had to go down and prevent a highly volatile man from…”

  “From?!” Christopher said.

  “Some guy was hitting on your girl.” TK finished. “And he wouldn’t take no for an answer-” Lem scowled at TK for stealing his thunder.

  Christopher swore. If they could have seen his face they would have seen that it was now beet red with fury. “Did he put his hands on her?”

  “Not exactly,” Lem continued. “But he wouldn’t let her pass-”

  Christopher swore again. His hands had formed fists. “Who is he?”

  “Beast, calm down. We handled it.” Lem said. His attitude was completely different now that it was obvious that Christopher was being pushed over the edge. It was his job to push the big man but not to cause him to lose it.

  “I want to know who this guy is!”

  “He doesn’t even work in this building.” Someone spoke, attempting to diffuse the situation.

  “I want to see the report!” Christopher charged to the file cabinet where the incident reports were kept. He had been the one to file the last one on Ashleigh, when she had collapsed in the gym.

  “Beast! There is no report!” Carlos yelled stopping him in his tracks. Christopher stared at Carlos. The young Hispanic man looked around at the other members of the team.

  “We…took care of it.”

  Christopher’s body tensed instead of relaxing. He understood what it meant that there was no trail. But it was very bad that someone else had had to take care of this problem for him. He stood there, breathing like a bull in helpless frustration.

  One of the members of his team explained. “Two of us followed him out and…secured his identify…and then…” there was a brief cough. “We gave him a very painful warning not to ever return. He won’t be back.”

  Someone chuckled and it sounded purely evil. “It’ll be six weeks before he’ll be able to use his fingers again.”

  The information should have made him feel better, but it didn’t. Yes, he was grateful that his team had been there to protect Ashleigh. But his woman had needed protecting and he hadn’t been there and there was nothing that made him feel more useless. Not to mention that he had this pent up rage and no one to pound.

  Christopher turned and headed out the room. Why hadn’t Ashleigh told him about this? He needed to talk to her. He wanted a word by word replay of the incident and then he would decide if a few broken fingers was all the asshole would end up with. What if he had touched her? What if he had hurt her? What if someone else did?

  “Beast!” Someone called after him. “You know you don’t want to leave us. And you damn sure don’t want to leave her here where any old fool is going to be walking in watching her on that treadmill!”

  Christopher’s steps faltered and he looked over his shoulder but didn’t turn. Lem chuckled in satisfaction. “We’ll do what you ain’t willing to do.”

  His chest felt constricted with barely contained rage. “I know what you’re trying to do.” He said after another pause. “But it ain’t going to work. I made up my mind. I’m thinking about her and I’m thinking about our baby.”

  “Baby?!” Someone yelled.

  “Yeah. She’s having a baby.” He left the room and headed for the elevators that would take him to the Federal building. He didn’t even hear TK until he spoke just behind him, having followed him out. Christopher almost swung on him, he was so wired with frustration.

  “Christopher.”

  He frowned at the name. No one called him Christopher. He studied the big black man that had been much like a brother to him, just as much as he had been a friend and highly trusted cohort.

  “You want to keep egging me on? This ain’t nothing but a game to you, to all of you; something to keep you from being bored now that the mission is over!” Christopher spat. “But this ain’t a game to me. This is my life, TK; my woman, my baby, my life! Nothing comes before that!”

  TK held up his hand. “I know. Okay? I’m not…I just wanted to tell you that no one would ever disrespect the little trooper. We watch her back as much for you as we do out of respect for her. If you leave here we’re going to continue to watch her. But, none of us want to see you leave.”

  Christopher sighed feeling conflicted. “I can’t be in special ops and not go on missions-”

  “Maybe they can make this a fulltime position.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Only a fool would want to stay in the subbasement year in and year out and miss out on all the fun of a mission—a fool or someone like you. You actually…like being down here.” TK sighed. “The guys want to keep you, even if you don’t go on special ops missions. But don’t think you’re getting full pay!” He growled.

  Christopher’s brow quirked up. “You…want to continue working with me? Even after what I did?”

  TK turned and headed back to the security room but Christopher heard him speak. “I’m acting Commander until they find a replacement for Bruce. I’ll tell command central that we need a man stationed down here permanently.” He stopped and looked at the bandaged man
. “Consider that your punishment for trying to get away from us. Do it again…” TK’s expression was suddenly severe, “and we really will break your face.” The door closed behind him and Christopher stood there for a few moments just smiling.

  Damn; those guys; his brothers; his family. He shook his head and quickly stabbed the button to take him to Ashleigh.

  ~***~

  When Kendra and Lance had asked about her weekend Ashleigh hid a smile. “Christopher came home with a big surprise.”

  “Bigger than the one you’re carrying in your belly?” Kendra asked.

  “Wait…is this going to be TMI?”

  “No!” Ashleigh laughed. “Although that was pretty damn big—”

  “Ugh, Ashleigh!” Lance said. “Nasty!”

  Ashleigh laughed before growing serious. “Christopher had never gone on a mission. It was a big misunderstanding. He’d gone and had facial reconstruction surgery.”

  Her friend’s were in total disbelief and kept asking questions even though she had very few answers. All she could really tell them is that she hadn’t seen any of his face with the exception of his lips which looked like giant balloons.

  She grinned knowing that she still had another big revelation. “Oh guys. Christopher wants to take us out to lunch today is that cool? It’s not our regular day but-”

  “Oh yeah! I want to see him wrapped up like a mummy!” Kendra said.

  “Cool,” Ashleigh tried not to beam. “We can talk about the wedding-”

  Lance screamed. He fanned himself and then covered his mouth and screamed again. Kendra slapped his arm and the both of them hugged her tightly. The other people in the office ignored them, used to Lance’s extreme excitability.

  “You guys are going to be my bridesmaids okay?”

  “Oooo! Can I wear a kilt?” Lance asked.

  “Of course, Diva!” Ashleigh said seriously.

  Kendra rubbed her swollen belly. “Crap. I’m going to look like a hot air balloon. No chance of you two postponing it until after I have the baby and loose my baby weight?”

  Ashleigh cocked her eye at her. “No. I want to get married while my stomach is still flat. God knows that it might never be this flat again.”

  “Yes it will.” Lance said while giving her tummy a brief pat. She gave them both serious looks.

  “No…it probably won’t.” she took a deep breath. “I…hid something from you guys.” Her friend’s expressions grew serious. “I’m telling you now because I’m going to need your help.”

  “Oh my god,” Lance clutched her hand. “What is it?”

  “I’m…bulimic.”

  Lance held her hand tightly and then Kendra placed hers over it. “How long?” She asked.

  Ashleigh swallowed, feeling her eyes mist. “Almost all of my life.”

  “God, Ash.” Lance said. “I didn’t know.”

  “Does Christopher know?” Kendra asked, her brow furrowed in concern.

  Ashleigh nodded. “We talked about it. He wants me to get help and I think I want to get professional help.”

  “We love you.” Lance said while hugging her. “We’ll be your support system. Just tell us what you need.” His eyes closed momentarily as if he was coming to a decision, then he pulled back with a pained look on his face as he glanced away.

  “I have something to tell you also.”

  Ashleigh thought she was going to black out. She heard the words, ‘I’m HIV positive’ come out of his mouth even before his mouth opened.

  “Rick and I broke up.”

  Ashleigh stared, blinking. “No…Oh Lance. Oh sweetheart, what happened?”

  He gave them a shaky smile. “I broke up with him because, I think I deserve more. You two are going to have babies. I want to have a baby, too.” Kendra frowned and Lance turned to her before she even opened her mouth. “Figuratively…not literally. I can’t have that with Rick. He is so deeply in the closet, and I understand why, but there is no way that he can come out without risking his career. You don’t play pro football as a gay man. Period.

  “I want…the happily ever after.” Lance’s eyes were glistening with unshed tears. “I want to be someone’s partner and not their dirty secret.”

  Kendra placed her hands on the man’s cheeks. “You are no one’s dirty secret!”

  “That’s right.” Ashleigh said. “You deserve everything that your heart desires, my friend.”

  Lance lowered his head and sobbed into his hands. “I know. But why does it have to hurt so bad?”

  Ashleigh pulled him into her arms and kissed the top of his blond head. “I know it hurts but it won’t last forever. I promise.” And Ashleigh believed with all of her heart that she was speaking the truth. She had known this pain and how desperate it made you feel. But given time the pain healed and became nothing more than a bad memory.

  ~***~

  Christopher surprised everyone when he entered the room a few hours later, totally unannounced. There were several offices in one room and when one of the ladies saw the giant bandaged man she shrieked and dropped the file that she was carrying and sent papers scattering along the floor.

  Christopher bent to help her pick them up and she gave him an embarrassed chuckle and apology. “Not a problem, Ma’am.” He said politely while handing her the papers. “Can you tell me where Miss Dalton’s office is?”

  The woman pointed down a short corridor. He nodded and headed for Ashleigh’s office. He passed Lance’s first. He was leaned back in his chair and talking on the phone. He gasped when he saw Christopher and a big smile spread across his face.

  “Let me call you back, Gloria. Yeah, promise.” He hung up the phone and hurried to greet Christopher who held up his finger to indicate he not mention his presence. Lance nodded and followed him to Ashleigh’s office. They passed Kendra’s office. She was absorbed in working on something on the computer. She swiveled her head at Christopher and Lance and then took a double take. They held up their fingers to their lips to indicate that she should be quiet and she joined them as they all headed to Ashleigh’s office.

  Ashleigh was staring out the window with a slight smile on her face. She was obviously daydreaming and when she saw Christopher suddenly appear in the doorway she squealed in delight and leaped to her feet.

  “Baby! You’re early!” She dashed to him, throwing herself into his arms. Christopher caught her, wanting to kiss her so badly. He hated the bandages and his sore lips and the shooting pains in his head and face. But somehow, holding Ashleigh in his arms made it all bearable. It was all for her.

  She had been daydreaming about him and how wonderful it had been to wake up in his arms, not to mention all of the things that they had done before falling asleep. Her body was humming in anticipation of tonight. She could barely wait to get home and had even contemplated leaving with him after lunch today. But that was just too pitiful…wasn’t it?

  “Hi Sweetheart. I think I might have some good news for you.” He looked around to include all of them. “I’m sure Ashleigh told you that I’ve been looking for a new job within The Marine Corps.”

  “Right, so that you won’t have to go on anymore missions.” Kendra said.

  “Right. So that I can leave Special Ops.”

  Ashleigh grinned in excitement. “Christopher, you found a new job!”

  “Uh…well, not exactly.” Ashleigh grinned at him expectantly. “There’s a chance that I might not be going anywhere. TK is acting Commander. He wants me stationed in the subbasement permanently; no missions.”

  “Oh my god. You won’t have to leave?!” Ashleigh hugged him and Christopher laughed and swung her around once before setting her on her feet.

  “It’s not set in stone, Babe. TK has got to put in a request for me to work the subbasement on a permanent basis.” He shrugged. “But truthfully, it’s something that would be a win win situation. They need someone with my experience,” Christopher chuckled and Ashleigh thought it was the most beautiful sound in the world, �
�but no one but me would want to work down there permanently.” He lifted her hand and placed it against his lips.

  “I want to make sure that no one ever bothers you again when you’re working out.” Her eyes got big and then she smiled. Yes, he would surely keep an eye on her every move and that made her feel safe and secure. Chris would always know when she needed him.

  ~***~

  Later in the evening, Ashleigh walked out of the Federal building and Christopher was parked right out front waiting for her. She hurried to the car and kissed his neck lightly. Lunch had been wonderful and Ashleigh was so proud of the way her friends had warmed up to her man and how easily he acted around them.