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Quite a Year for Plums

Page 16

by Quite a Year for Plums (retail) (epub)


  The next morning Roger had to get up at 4:30 and drive all the way down to Attapulgus to hoe out the alleys in the peanut test plots there and then turn around and drive in the other direction all the way up to Plains to mark ailing plants and collect leaf and flower samples. He had a rattlesnake scare in the morning, and he ran into a wasp nest in an aluminum gate in the afternoon and got stung twice. Meade had invited him to supper, but when he went home to change clothes, Eula was standing in his yard holding three chickens by the feet, two big red hens and a rooster.

  “Roger,” she said, “you didn't know it because you was up there at UNC, but when Melvin was killed by his own Allis-Chalmers tractor I found a lot of comfort in chickens.” The chickens slowly spun in her grasp, their wings limp, their beaks open in an expression of wonderment and resignation. “Rhode Island Reds, Roger,” said Eula. “I thought Dominick-ers would be—well, they might bring back memories, Roger, and I hate to see you sad.” She thrust the chickens’ trussed-up feet into his hands and hugged him tight, mashing a strangled squawk out of one of the hens. Then she quickly turned away, got into her car, and drove off in a hurry, so that Roger wouldn't see her tears.

  Roger made a waterer out of a jar and a dish and a toothpick, spread newspapers on the floor of his back porch, and then turned the chickens loose, washed his hands and face, and arrived at Meade's house a half hour late, drugged on antihistamine, with the grit of dried sweat under his clothes, and the sand from the Plains peanut fields in his shoes, worrying about regulations regarding livestock within the city limits.

  Meade sat him down on the sofa, made him comfortable, and then stood in front of him waving a silver serving spoon in the air. “Roger,” she said, “you must hammer out your life on the anvil of experience!”

  But Roger was too tired and sleepy to think of a reply to this violent piece of advice. Every time he closed his eyes he saw green leaves, as if overexposure had stamped an image of a field of peanut plants on the backs of his eyeballs.

  “You do choose the most difficult women, Roger,” Meade went on. “First Ethel, so wild and independent, and then Delia—a gifted artist, but aside from that she was—”

  “I don't choose them, Meade,” said Roger, through a confusion of weariness. “They creep over me like brown rot.”

  The next day the Coastal Plain Experiment Station was putting on the Ag Showcase. Booths presenting information on different agricultural topics had been set up on the grounds: “Red Imported Fire Ants: Friend or Foe?,” “Animal Waste Awareness,” “Bio-control of Musk Thistle.” Food was being served from portable carts, and staff members were giving tours of the soybean and corn variety tests, the oldest pecan cultivar trial in the world (1921), and the new controlled-atmosphere Vidalia Onion Storage Lab. The public was invited, which meant that there would be a lot of questions about potted geraniums and what to do about those big green worms on tomato plants.

  This was Dean Routhe's last Ag Showcase, and all morning he had been flapping around the Bermuda grass germ plasm plot and the Vidalia Onion Storage Lab like a lanky old crane. Dean Routhe was not the kind of scientist who should be turned loose in a crowd; he was apt to frighten people by suddenly blurting out bits of abstruse information. No one quite knew what to do. After all, a peanut cultivar had been named for this man.

  “Get him in there with Roger,” said Dr. Vanlandingham desperately, and so, by midmorning Dean Routhe had settled down in the booth on Predictive Models of Peanut Diseases, where he kept hurling out random remarks about agronomy, entomology, and the virtues of matrimony.

  “Men need wives!” he cried out in a high, carrying voice, interrupting Roger's little talk about the future of Georgia's peanut crop. Roger faltered, then soldiered on.

  “—the entomologists studying the thrips vectors—”

  “Men need wives!” called Dean Routhe.

  “—the virologists comparing TSWV with other, better-understood diseases,” Roger continued stal-wartly.

  “Look at this!” cried Dean Routhe, springing up out of the shadowy back of the booth. “My hair was red when I began my work here at the CPES in ‘59!” He clutched a few strands of white hair with both hands. “But my wife died in ‘65, and within a year it turned snow white!”

  “—and my own work with—”

  “Men need wives!” said Dean Routhe, clapping an arm around Roger's shoulder and glaring out at the stricken crowd. Roger could feel the old gnarly fingers trembling against his back. A few people hastily replaced the pamphlets and peanut brochures they had taken from the shelf, and very quickly everyone scurried off to the next booth, “Our Friend the Dairy Cow.”

  “Dean Routhe,” said Roger, “maybe you would like to—”

  But Dean Routhe was busily pulling up two chairs. “Roger,” he said, “sit down.” And they both sat down and faced each other across their knees.

  “Roger,” said Dean Routhe in a deep, throbbing voice, “she's left you. She's gone. GONE.” He paused. “But you must not sit back and moan and pine. You've got to have a fearless heart, Roger, a FEARLESS heart!” and he thumped his own rickety chest so hard that Roger tensed up and leaned forward slightly.

  “Roger,” said Dean Routhe, “it's like falling off a horse. The best thing you can do is just get right back up in that saddle again. Back in the saddle again.”

  Outside, a new crowd had begun to gather. Some in the front were leafing through the pamphlets on the plywood shelf in a businesslike way, but they kept sneaking glances into the dark interior of the booth, and at the back of the crowd people were staring in at Roger and Dean Routhe, their mouths hanging slightly open.

  “Dean Routhe,” Roger whispered.

  “Oh, quite so, quite so!” said Dean Routhe, scrambling to his feet and addressing the crowd. “You listen to this fine young man,” he said to a pretty, frightened-looking red-haired woman in a black John Birch Society T-shirt. “You ask him any question about the plants in your home or in your garden or on your small farm. Nematology, the rusts, myco-toxins—why, this man is an expert on late blight of potato!” he said, and he grabbed Roger by both arms and thrust him forward. “What this young man doesn't know about foliar diseases of peanut wouldn't fit into a teacup! A TEACUP!”

  In the late afternoon a little stage was set up in the middle of the millet trials for a musical performance, and a half acre was roped off for dancing. Roger played the banjo; Tim Bannister, his entomologist counterpart in the TSWV research, played fiddle; and a couple of paid musicians from Tifton played guitars. In the cool of the evening, after the sun went down, people began to dance on the smooth turf of the Bermuda grass germ plasm plot. Dean Routhe had taken hold of the notion that the harvesting of crops was inherently violent, and he kept accosting people and saying, “Everything you eat has been attacked by someone!”

  Roger noticed with dismay that the red-haired woman in the black T-shirt was watching him and edging closer and closer to the stage, an odd, almost rapturous look on her face, and he played faster and faster, running “The Blind Girl” right up against “Pig in a Pen.” He remembered Meade's remark about the anvil of experience, but all he could think of was the dead skink in the peanut oil, its little toes curled up, its little eyes closed, and its broad jowls, even in death, still tinged with the breeding orange.

  24. QUITE A YEAR FOR PLUMS

  Quite a year for plums” everybody kept saying, but that didn't begin to describe the plum crop of that early summer. A rare combination of favorable factors had contributed to it, the fruit scientists said: a warm early spring had brought out the honeybees when the trees were flowering, then in March and April it had rained twice a week as the little plums grew, and finally at fruit swell the weather turned hot and dry, discouraging brown rot. Now in June heavy laden limbs drooped and cracked off, and in every household people were eating plums and baking cakes with plums, cooking up plum jam and plum jelly, or just raking up mounds and piles of rotten plums, and getting stung by yellow jack
ets. Drunken birds whopsided from eating fermented plums staggered across lawns. Then an unseasonable heat wave came through, in early June when no one was prepared for it, and standing over hot stoves boiling down plum juice, everybody started remem bering stories about the tragedy of 1903. when five people in Perote had died of heat exhaustion.

  “My father always said how peaceful Mr. Loomis looked, lying there flat on his back in the bed in the front room under the open window, dead as a stone with the thin sheet pulled up to his chin,” said Meade. Her father, just a little boy then, had been the one to find the body of Mr. Loomis, a timber baron who had made a fortune shipping longleaf cants out of Carrabelle to be resawn in the Netherlands. “People knew how to die back in those days,” said Meade.

  Hilma didn't know if it was just the heat, or if it was Jim Wade's endless tinkering with a fan he had brought to blow on her while she made plum jelly, or what it was exactly that was making her irritable. “They didn't know how to die any better than we do,” she snapped at Meade. “They just told it better.”

  “There's something about a fan, blowing on a dead person,” said Jim Wade, staring contemplatively at a little pile of worm gears. “When you think how the fingers that turned on that switch at bedtime will never again …” Meade's father had never mentioned a fan in his many tellings of the story of the Loomis death; just the thin sheet pulled up to Mr. Loomis's very prominent chin had stuck in his mind. But now as she looked at the bucket of plum seeds and plum skins and the jelly bag dripping plum juice into the bowl in Hilma's sink, another part of the story came back to Meade, something that she had almost forgotten, because over the years the thin sheet had become the hinge of the story: her father had been taking a bucket of plums to old Mr. Loomis.

  Meade sat down heavily in Hilma's kitchen chair and rested her chin in her hands. “A bucket of plums” she whispered.

  “Honey, at the plums!” Eula said to Ethel, flapping her apron in delight. Andy and the plum crop had come on the same weekend, and it was almost more than Eula could stand. She kept running back and forth between the jelly pot on the stove and the backyard, where Andy was practicing breathing through a snorkel. Roger had promised to take him to Ammonia Spring to swim with the manatees when he got back from his phytopathology meeting in Austin, Texas, and every waking minute since he had arrived yesterday afternoon, Andy had been stalking around the house with a bright pink and purple face mask on, making moist snorting sounds. Eula kept looking for the ravages of the brown rice and date diet. He was thinner, she thought, but then he was taller too. She hadn't really been able to get a good look at his face.

  “Look at the plums under that tree, Ethel, did you ever—” But Ethel had set down the boxes of quart jars on the kitchen table and run out into the yard. She grabbed Andy up in both arms and hugged him too tight, knocking his face mask crooked. When she finally turned him loose he had to pick his ears out from under the rubber straps and get another grip on the snorkel with his poor stretched-out lips. “I'hh ynh uh ahhys wryds wid Roger,” he said, and Ethel squatted down in front of him, held him by both arms, and peered in eagerly through the face mask at his bugged-out eyes and his stretched-flat nose. “You're going to Ammonia Spring with Roger, I heard that,” she said, and she hugged him again, more carefully this time.

  “Just because nobody ever saw a manatee eat somebody alive, they think they never do it,” Tom called down. He was painting Cool Seal on Louise's roof, but the tar was so hot and runny it wouldn't stick.

  “What are you doing up in the air, Tom?” called Louise. “Come down from there.”

  “You're dripping on the azalea bushes, Tom,” called Ethel.

  “They're vegetarians, Daddy, they don't eat people. I read it in Ranger Rick,” called Andy.

  “Yeah right,” said Tom. “Did you know that a living giant squid has never been seen by human eyes? But that don't mean they're not down there.”

  “Human eyes,” said Louise.

  “Here I am sending my only son out to Ammonia Spring and you're going to come back with both your legs gnawed off,” said Tom.

  “I'll be all right, Daddy,” called Andy, and he wrapped his lips back around the snorkel.

  “Well, all I can say is, rub some spit around in your mask to keep it from fogging up, so you can see them when they start coming after you,” said Tom.

  Roger's seat mate had talked quite brightly during the first half of the flight, sipping ginger ale and telling him about the meeting she had attended in Austin, something to do with funding for community colleges. Then, “And what took you to Texas?” she asked. Roger said, “It was a meeting of plant scientists“—only that, but next thing he knew she had fallen asleep and was slumping over onto his shoulder, drooling a little, with her hand flopped against his thigh. He tried to squirm out from under her, but he was trapped in the window seat with nowhere to go; every time he shifted she just snuggled closer. She would be embarrassed when she woke up, he knew that. Two seats up and across the aisle he could see Lucy sitting in the exit row, reading a paper about parasitic wasps and cereal leaf beetles quite coolly, with all the space in the world. Finally he gave up and just stared out the window at the black night and the little twinkling lights of towns down below.

  “We are beginning our descent into …” said the voice. “Please—” and suddenly the woman sprang upright, clamped both arms across her chest, and stared wildly at Roger and then at the seat back in front of her.

  “You're all right,” said Roger. “You just fell asleep, that's all.” He helped her get her bag out of the overhead compartment and watched her scamper down the aisle away from him, teetering on her high-heeled shoes. He gathered up his briefcase and he and Lucy walked together through the little airport and out to his truck in the parking lot, and then drove off down the lit-up streets of Tallahassee. They talked for a while about a genetically engineered bac-ulovirus they'd learned about in Austin; it had been very effective in controlling cotton bollworms and tobacco budworms in field tests. Then they talked about the heat and the plums and the trip to Ammonia Spring.

  “Meade can't stop thinking about the five deaths in Perote in ‘03/ said Lucy.

  “I wonder how many dozen quarts of jam Eula has put up?” said Roger.

  “I wonder if Andy has once turned loose of that snorkel since he's been here” said Lucy.

  They drove past the shopping centers on the edge of town, and the new subdivisions with their fancy entrances, and the last Publix Supermarket, lit up in a blaze of light like the promised land. Then suddenly Lucy said, “You're a good man, Roger.”

  But Roger couldn't think of anything to say to that, and they just drove on in the dark without talking anymore, past the cotton fields and the peanut fields and the woodpecker woods to home.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  For their help and advice, I would like to thank the

  American Livestock Breeds Conservancy, Wilson Baker,

  Polly Blackford, Brandy Cowley, Ken Crawford, Albert

  Culbreath, the Dominique Club of America, Steve Earle,

  Todd Engstrom, Jeanne Greenleaf, Rosalie Hawkins Olson,

  Robert O. Hawse, Katharine Heath, Paul Hjort, Daryle

  Jennette, Nell Johnson, Beck Johnston, Jonathon Lazear,

  Mary Lawrence Lilly, Roy Lilly III, Frank Lindamood, June

  Bailey McDaniel, Eula McGraw, Bruce Mcintosh, O. Victor

  Miller, Red Parham, Lance Rockwell, Sonny Sammons,

  Sigrid Sanders, Gordon Scott, Sonny Stoddard, Carl

  Tomlinson, Barbara White, Jane White, Robb White,

  John Witt, Ron Yrabedra, and Coleman Zuber.

  ALSO BY BAILEY WHITE

  MAMA MAKES UP HER MIND

  and Other Dangers of Southern Living

  Bailey White's territory runs from her home in South Georgia to a little juke joint in North Florida so raunchy that it scared even Ernest Hemingway. Her characters include an aunt who charms alligators, an uncle who keeps losin
g pieces of himself, and most of all, her very old, very frail, and utterly indomitable mother, who feeds her guests dinners of fresh road kill, lectures artists on the virtues of pictures of cows, and puts up visitors in an antique bed that has the disconcerting habit of folding shut while they sleep.

  Memoir/Humor/0-679-75160-2

  SLEEPING AT THE STARLITE MOTEL

  and Other Adventures on the Way Back Home

  In these funny stories of life in the old new South, Bailey White takes us from her humid hometown in Georgia to a one-room schoolhouse in Vermont, from the sinkhole that was once the Garden of Eden to her first-grade classroom. There are also unforgettable characters, from her cousin Mandon, who dreams of reuniting the family's scattered Chippendale chairs, to Miss Grantly, who is the proud owner of a stolen house.

  Memoir/Humor/0-679-77015-1

  VINTAGE BOOKS

  Available at your local bookstore, or call toll-free to order:

  1-800-793-2665 (credit cards only).

 

 

 


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