Rage and Redemption

by Cyndi Friberg

  Gideon cursed at him yet made no move to stop him when he walked off toward the barracks. With the excitement over, the crowd dispersed and work resumed.

  Damn her! How had she managed to penetrate his defenses? She certainly hadn’t done so intentionally. She didn’t even like him. He had aroused her physical desire, but she kept her emotions protected, insulated by mistrust and fear.

  He needed to think. He needed to understand what was happening to him, to analyze the insidious changes this mortal woman had triggered. Checking every angle to make sure he was alone, Gideon released his form and disintegrated into mist. The night breeze carried him beyond the castle compound and out into the darkness. When he reached the crest of a hill overlooking the vast Orontes valley, he materialized again.

  Even from a distance, the fortress was imposing. It effortlessly dominated everything surrounding it. Torchlight glowed from inside the various structures, creating a shadowy silhouette of crenellated walls and stout watchtowers against the blue-black sky.

  The warm night wind caressed his face and fluttered through his hair. He embraced the darkness and forced the tension from his body. A three-quarter moon and legions of stars silvered the scene with tranquil light. This was different from the harsh, burning rays of the daytime sun, the burning, torturous rays that had become his enemy.

  Gideon sat and closed his eyes, lifting his face to the moonlight. He had come to the Krak to confront Gabriel. In return for Gabriel’s betrayal, he had planned to disrupt his life and destroy his reputation. He had hoped to force Gabriel to abandon his masquerade and return to Heaven.

  But Naomi had been working in the scriptorium rather than Gabriel. Gideon grinned into the darkness as vivid memories flashed to life within his mind. She was fire and ice, passion and innocence, courage and fear.

  She was human.

  His eyes snapped open and golden fire illuminated the night. She was a means to an end and nothing more. The moment he touched her and felt her devotion to Gabriel, he knew exactly what he would do. He would seduce her and then disappear without a trace. He would unleash all the passion he sensed within her and then tell her to ask Gabriel why she had been used.

  It didn’t matter that she had done nothing wrong. Gabriel had betrayed him! He refused to remember the longings released within his soul by his brief exposure to her purity.

  She was human!

  That alone was reason enough to justify his actions. Gabriel didn’t understand his resentment of humans. Neither did Michael. They were mindless sheep, willing to serve and obey without thought or question.

  This is your last hope, Gideon. You must find peace within the madness or you will be consumed completely by your own rage.

  Michael’s words echoed back through Gideon’s mind and he spat a curse into the night. There was no peace in this madness yet something within him still fought against the rage. He was trapped between two worlds, neither good nor evil, neither angel nor demon, neither light nor dark.

  With an angry snarl, Gideon stood. There would be no comfort in the silence tonight. He was simply too distraught. Focusing his energy on the image of a falcon, he spread his arms, crouched and launched himself upward from the hill.

  For a long moment he hung suspended above the earth with no substance or form. He could feel the currents of air flowing through his being. Then he concentrated, focused his energy, and took on the outward shape of the bird.

  His wings flapped strongly. His bright golden eyes were all that remained of his human shape. He soared. High above the Krak he flew in lazy circles, at home in the sky, at one with the night.

  * * * * *

  “Thankfully you sent Gideon to find me. If I’d walked back to the Krak on—”

  “I did not send Gideon to you.” Gabriel’s gaze narrowed on Naomi’s face, cautious yet intense. “Did he tell you this?”

  Fear’s icy fingers stroked Naomi’s spine. She sat on one of the infirmary’s cots as she had for the past five days. Her ankle was still swollen and discolored, but with her foot bound firmly for support, she was able to walk with only a bit of discomfort.

  “Aye, he said you sent him to look for me.”

  Brother Gabriel glanced away and Naomi felt even more uncomfortable. He fiddled with the wooden cross suspended from his neck, sure proof of his anxiety.

  “Why does your brother mean me harm?”

  It took a long time for him to answer. “Gideon is angry with me, and he knows harming you will hurt me more deeply than any direct assault.”

  His compassionate gaze moved slowly across her face. Warmth seeped through her. He’d always been able to calm her fears and set her mind to rest.

  “What does he believe you did? Why is he so angry?”

  “I’ll speak with Gideon,” Gabriel evaded her question. “You must stay away from him.”

  Naomi laughed. The thin, nervous sound was harsh even in her own ears. “I’ve tried to avoid him. He seeks me out. I knew he followed me that night, but he said you sent him to protect me.”

  Brother Gabriel knelt beside her bed, capturing her icy fingers in the warm cradle of his hands. Naomi savored the familiar beauty of his face.

  “Fear not, Naomi. I will not allow anything to harm you.”

  For the first time in her life she doubted his assurance. “I think perhaps this time ’tis I who must protect you.” He looked so crestfallen at her words Naomi immediately regretted them. “Or perhaps we must work to protect each other.”

  “Forces are at work here that you don’t understand,” he said. “I’m not sure if you’re even more powerless than I or if you’re the only glimmer of light left in his darkness. I don’t know how to advise you.”

  “Especially when you love us both?” she guessed from the pain in his eyes.

  He nodded stiffly.

  “I am not afraid of Gideon.”

  His gaze flew to hers and his expression hardened. “Nay. You must fear him. You must not trust him. You must suspect everything he tells you and everything he does.”

  “I’m not a fool. I know what he’s about. His weapon is seduction and he wields it masterfully. He cares nothing for me. He wants only to torment you.”

  Again he nodded yet his expression remained troubled.

  “Go now,” she urged with a quick smile. “You’ll be late for Sext.”

  With reluctance showing in every step he took, Gabriel finally left her side. Naomi pushed her hair off her forehead and tried to relax.

  The thought of being completely overwhelmed by Gideon’s passion was not altogether unappealing. He stirred feelings in her she had never experienced before and part of her was eager to explore them more completely. She knew it was wrong. It was sinful and she must resist. The challenge lay in convincing her body to accept the dictates of her mind.

  Gabriel would torture himself with guilt if he thought she’d been compromised because of him. Even if she didn’t find the possibility of being compromised nearly as distasteful as she should.

  What if he never found out?

  A secret thrill raced through her at the wicked thought. Nay, if she ever surrendered to temptation, Gideon would make sure Gabriel found out. Surrender was not an option.

  With a frustrated sigh, Naomi turned her attention to her ankle. She tested its tolerance by moving it very slowly first up and down and then side to side. It was only as she bent it up at a similar angle to the one that caused the injury that she felt a painful protest.

  “How does it feel?”

  She glanced up from her foot to find Gideon standing beside her bed. She gasped. How had he moved so soundlessly? Had he sensed her improper thoughts? It was utterly impossible, and yet looking into his golden gaze it seemed almost probable.

  Forces are at work here that you don’t understand.

  Ignoring the echo of Brother Gabriel’s warning, she smiled at Gideon. “Better, but your brother still insists that I lie in bed like an invalid.”

  His grim mouth
parted in a spontaneous smile and Naomi felt her heart flutter. Why did she find him so appealing? With his long black hair pulled back from his face he appeared—well, mean. She should be frightened of him but she found him fascinating.

  “What would you be doing were it not for my brother’s decree?”

  “Working.” She flashed a conspirator’s smile. “Cleaning the scriptorium.”

  He studied her for a long, silent moment. His strangely penetrating gaze caressed each of her features in turn.

  “Gabriel told me to stay away from you. He’s concerned my interest in you is not in your best interest.”

  “And is it?” she ventured.

  He chuckled and his expression relaxed. “Probably not.”

  “Then why do you continue to seek me out and why did you lie to me?”

  “I enjoy your company and what did I lie about?”

  She licked her lips and his gaze dropped to her mouth. It had not been her intention to draw his attention there. Still, an unexpected tingle crossed her lips as if he had touched them. “You told me Brother Gabriel sent you to find me. He told me he did not, so why were you following me?”

  “Did I misinterpret what I interrupted? I thought you were relieved that I’d been following you.” His voice was deceptively calm.

  “I want you to stop.”

  “Following you?”

  “Aye.” She shifted restlessly. “Following me, pursuing me. I want you to leave me alone.”

  He shook his head, his gaze hot upon her face. “Nay, you do not. But this is neither the time nor the place to settle that particular debate. I want you to know that I spoke with Crispin.”

  “Crispin?” She didn’t recognize the name.

  “The man who accosted you. He offers his most sincere apologies and is willing to make them in person if that is your want.”

  “I have no desire to ever see that man again.” She shuddered as his sneering face flashed through her memory. “How did he explain his behavior? Is it Crispin’s practice to force his attentions on whatever female happens to cross his path?”

  “He will never lay a hand on you again.”

  “And are all of the other women at the Krak to be offered the same assurance? There are women who welcome the attentions of men. It’s not necessary to force the ones who don’t.”

  “We discussed the matter at great length, damsel. Crispin has seen the error of his ways.”

  There was a certain humor in his tone, a hard sort of amusement that made Naomi curious. “Was this discussion perchance physical in nature?”

  He grinned. “It did not begin so, but Crispin was slow to admit the magnitude of his mistake. I felt compelled to enlighten him.”

  “I see.” The idea of Gideon thrashing the horrible creature had a certain appeal. Naomi found nothing else about the subject of interest. She’d been terrified and humiliated, and Gideon had witnessed it all. Still, if he hadn’t been following her… She didn’t even want to think about the outcome.

  “I should go,” he said with obvious reluctance.

  “How much longer will you be staying at the Krak?”

  “Are you anxious to be rid of me?” he teased. “Or are you missing me already?”

  * * * * *

  Gideon prowled a darkened corner of the upper bailey near the high crenellated curtain wall. Glancing down at the missive crumpled within his fist, he mentally scrambled for a way to turn this situation to his advantage. It was too soon for an outright confrontation. He was not yet ready. Naomi was not sufficiently embroiled in the battle. Gabriel’s summons forced his hand.

  Lifting his face to the moonlight, Gideon closed his eyes and carefully constructed Naomi’s image within his mind. His body responded with pulsing desire. Gideon groaned. This was ridiculous. Why did the mere thought of her set his heart to pounding and make his entire body ache? Refocusing his mind, he sent out a summons of his own, compelling Naomi to his side.

  “I was not sure you would come,” Gabriel said.

  Gideon opened his eyes. Gabriel stood before him, nearly concealed by the darkness. A smile parted Gideon’s lips at the irony. “What do you want?”

  “I want you to stay away from Naomi,” Gabriel responded impatiently. “I know you visited her in the infirmary today.”

  He could see little more than the darkened silhouette of his brother’s form, but Gabriel’s voice cracked with anger and determination.

  “Did you honestly believe I would not?”

  Gabriel stepped forward. A moonbeam silvered his features, revealing how they twisted with rage. Pleasure surged through Gideon. Where was the serene, ever-perfect “brother” so many had come to know?

  His hand shook as he pointed a finger at Gideon. “You will leave her alone. I will not allow you to harm her.”

  Gideon braced his legs apart and tested the spring in his knees. He flipped back his hair with a sharp toss of his head, clenching his hands into fists. “How do you intend to stop me?”

  The golden shards in Gabriel’s eyes came alive. Gideon felt a responding rush within himself. If Gabriel wanted a fight, he’d be happy to oblige—but she wasn’t here yet. He could sense her moving through the night some distance away.

  “Has Naomi come to any harm because of me?” he asked, prolonging the conversation.

  “I’m not sure. I cannot manipulate minds as you do.” Gabriel’s gaze remained bright yet he made no move to attack. “How was her ankle twisted, Gideon? Was she running away from you?”

  There she was! He could sense her presence as her unique energy pulsed through him. He kept his gaze fixed on Gabriel. “What did she tell you? How did she say she was injured?”

  “I asked you. Have you touched her? What do you hope to gain by dishonoring her?”

  Gideon had no intention of discussing his motivation with Naomi listening in the shadows. “Oh, I touched her and I tasted her. The sweetness still lingers on my tongue. I can hardly wait to taste more of her, to know the firm grip of her—”

  Heaven’s light shot from Gabriel’s eyes, enveloping Gideon’s body. He staggered back, emitting a sound half hiss, half groan as pain shot along his nerve endings. He struggled within the light, fighting against the pain and the restraining pressure. Gabriel’s strength rivaled his own.

  Gathering power into the center of his chest, Gideon concentrated and focused. He formed a dense, dark pulse in the palm of his hand and threw it at his brother. Gabriel flew backward like a leaf tossed upon the wind and collided with the castle wall.

  “I will protect her,” Gabriel shouted as he struggled to his feet. “You cannot have her!”

  Light shot from Gabriel’s fingertips, ripping through Gideon. Ten individual blades stabbed his flesh and seared his senses. Embracing the pain, drawing strength from his fury, Gideon strode to Gabriel and twisted his hands in his thick monastic robes. He lifted him and slammed him against the wall.

  “You are powerless to—”

  Gabriel shoved his wooden cross against Gideon’s chest.

  Gideon screamed. He let go and stumbled back, panting harshly. A violent surge in his dark nature drove him to one knee. The beast within him wanted to tear out Gabriel’s throat and gorge on his blood but Naomi was watching. He couldn’t end this performance by savaging his brother!

  “Stop it! Please stop.”

  Springing to his feet, Gideon made sure Gabriel could see Naomi. Gideon’s fingernails dug painfully into his palms as he looked at her. Even in the moonlight her face looked drawn and colorless. She clutched her skirts, her eyes wide and frightened.

  “Naomi,” Gabriel said, a wealth of tenderness and regret in the single word. “Fear not. We will not harm you.”

  Gideon shot Gabriel a challenging smirk. “Do not make promises on my behalf.” He grabbed for Naomi’s arm. She shrieked and twisted away.

  She huddled in the corner of the castle wall, her disbelieving gaze moved from him to Gabriel and back. “What…how did you… What are yo
u?”

  Gabriel took a cautious step toward her. She shrank away from him as well. Her entire body shook visibly and her eyes grew wild.

  The desire to comfort her took Gideon by surprise. What was wrong with him? She was supposed to be frightened. He needed her to be afraid. This was why he had summoned her.

  “Be still,” he commanded, and stepped up to catch her body as she slipped into unconsciousness.

  “What are we going to do?” Gabriel’s customary composure had deserted him entirely. He was actually wringing his hands.

  Gideon shifted Naomi higher against his chest. Her weight was insignificant to him but her softness and her scent were playing havoc with his senses. “I know many things I would like to do.”

  Golden light flashed in warning. “You must convince her she had a vivid dream or that it was a trick of the moonlight,” Gabriel said. “Or erase the memory altogether. I know that is within your power.”

  “Do you have any idea what I could do if I entered her mind?”

  Gabriel began to pace like a caged animal and Gideon laughed. He had hoped for a more worthy opponent.

  “Convince her it was a dream or—”

  “You underestimate Naomi,” Gideon said. “She’ll never believe it was a dream. Any denial I might offer will only make her more determined to learn the truth.”

  “I cannot lie, Gideon.” He came closer, frustration and fear radiating off him. “If she asks me to explain what she witnessed, I will have to tell her.”

  “You cannot lie and, in this at least, I will not. I guess she is destined to learn the truth.”

  “Give her to me. I will return her to the infirmary.” Gabriel held out his arms expectantly.

  Gideon turned away. “I will return her to the infirmary when I am good and ready.”

  “You are good and ready now!”

  Gideon laughed again. He had accomplished more than enough for one night. Clasping Naomi’s warm body against his chest, Gideon walked beside his brother toward the infirmary. They said nothing. He could sense Gabriel’s anger and fear. He wasn’t afraid for himself, he was afraid for Naomi. Gideon didn’t care so long as Gabriel suffered.