by Amy DeMeritt
After they release me, we sit back in our seats and it gets really quiet. My whole body is buzzing with happiness, but I feel an ache in my heart from Sam’s absence. I wasn’t going to text her till we got to the airport, but I miss her, really bad.
Me: You know that moment when you get halfway to the bottom of the pool in the deep end to reach for something you dropped and how your lungs start to burn and your mind starts to panic and wants to shoot back to the surface?
Sam: Hey, baby. Yes. I feel like that right now. I miss all of you so much and it hasn’t even been 20 minutes since you left. How am I going to survive this month?
Me: Remember that week you were supposed to spend down at the beach right after graduation? You had been gone for 3 days and I was missing you so much that I couldn’t sit still. I ended up running around the property and in the woods almost nonstop. I had been running for hours and I came out of the woods panting and gasping for air so badly that I could barely stand up. It was really hot and I felt like I was at risk of heat stroke. I looked up and saw you sitting on the table top of the picnic bench clear across the lawn behind my house. You smiled at me and sat up straighter. I couldn’t believe my eyes. You were four days early. Even though I was nearly dying, I took off running for you. You met me halfway and leapt in my arms, making us fall over. You pinned me down and laughed at how sweaty I was, but you bent down and kissed me anyway.
Sam: Are you trying to tell me that you’re going to come see me at my campus, before our Christmas vacation?
I smile and nervously bite my bottom lip. I look at Madison and Shannon for a moment. I rub the back of my neck and sit forward some, unsure what to say. It would nearly destroy my savings to do it, but I have the cash in the bank from working for the past few years and saving pretty much every penny. But I had something else in mind for Christmas and I don’t know if I’d be able to do it if I fly out to see her.
Me: I have something special I’d like to do for you for Christmas, but if I come out there, I don’t know if I’d be able to afford it. Which would you prefer?
Sam: Baby, you should know I’d always pick you over something materialistic. I don’t need stuff. I need you.
Me: This thing I want to get for you, kind of falls in that “me” category.
Sam: Are you going to strap yourself in an awesome sex swing for me so we can fuck in the air like Tarzan and Jane?
I laugh really hard and everyone turns to look at me with curious smiles. I blush beet red and hide behind my phone. I glance at Madison and she’s grinning at me like she knows Sam just said something naughty. I laugh again and turn back to my phone to respond.
Me: Is that your subtle way of telling me you want a sex swing for Christmas?
Sam: Please, Santa? I’ll be extra naughty in text and video chat for you.
I laugh again and feel my cheeks blush even darker red and my clit starts pulsing.
Me: Done. What else does Santa’s naughty girl want for Christmas?
Sam: Shannon and Madison in matching naughty elf costumes and you in red velvet Santa boxers with a red bowtie and nothing else.
Me: Sounds like you’ve been thinking about this for a while.
Sam: I have a lot of time to think about all sorts of amazing scenarios while I sit in my dorm all alone. I can’t wait to start living them out with all of you.
Me: We’ll definitely be prepared to fulfil your Christmas fantasies, baby.
Sam: I just moaned out loud and my mom looked over as if she expected to see me touching myself.
I laugh again and my cheeks ache with the giant smile on my face. I glance at Madison and she’s watching me with an amused grin. I scroll up and hand her the phone.
“Start there.”
Madison motions for Shannon to read over her shoulder and they read through our conversation. They both gasp and laugh hard and I know they’ve reached the sex swing part. When they’ve finished reading the conversation, they look up at me with big smiles and Madison hands me the phone.
“Tell her that we’re in.”
I smile really big and start typing.
Me: Madison and Shannon are game for your naughty Christmas.
Sam: My clit is pulsing so bad. Fuck. We need to change the subject. If I leave the room, my mom will know I’m off masturbating somewhere.
I laugh so hard that I drop my phone. Madison picks it up for me and glances at the screen and laughs. After she shows Shannon, who also laughs, she hands it back to me.
Me: Remember that time we had your house to ourselves for the whole weekend? We had so much sex that I could taste you for days. It was amazing. If I close my eyes, I can still taste you. Damn, I could really go for a drink from your fountain right now.
Sam: Baby, that is not helping.
Me: You’re wet, aren’t you? You’re so fucking hot when you’re wet and can’t do anything about it. I love how you squirm in your seat and kind of hold your breath.
Sam: Fuck. I just told my mom I’m going to go pee and she looked at me like, “yeah the fuck right”, and laughed. You made me a mess. Look at this.
I gasp and cover my mouth to prevent a moan from escaping my lips. She sent a picture of her fingers holding her lips open and her beautiful pink center is soaked in fresh arousal.
Me: If I was there, I’d be on my knees drinking every drop. You better make it fast, baby, before your mom comes listening at the door.
Sam: Fuck, I want to grind against your face so bad while Maddi and Shannon suck on my nipples.
Me: Can I double penetrate you with my fingers while we do this?
Sam: Fuck yes!
Me: How you doing, baby? We just got on the exit for the airport and will be parking soon.
Sam: Done. It was quick, just to take the edge off, but it definitely wasn’t anything special. I need you for that.
Me: I know. I’m going to make love to you like my life depends on it when I get to see you again.
Sam: I love you, baby.
Me: I love you too. We’ll talk soon, beautiful.
Sam: Later, baby.
Chapter Fifteen
After an emotional goodbye to my parents, going through security, and a long walk through the airport, I’m finally sitting in my seat to head back to campus. Madison is a couple rows in front of me on the same side, and Shannon is one row back on the other side. If I look over my shoulder, I can see her perfectly. We’re asked to keep the aisles clear, and it’s hard to turn to talk to her without my arm or head ending up in the aisle. After being tapped on the shoulder twice by a flight attendant to clear the aisle, I give up and turn around.
My mind plays over the afternoon and our goodbye to Sam and my promise to marry all of them. The gravity of what I did finally hits me and my head falls in my hands. I rub my face and shake my head. I mean it, but could that even work? I suddenly feel guilty and sick to my stomach. I quickly pull my phone out.
Me: I may have messed up.
Awenasa: Hello, my love. What do you mean?
Me: Does it bother you that I’m with Madison, Shannon, and Sam?
Awenasa: Are you second guessing your family situation?
Me: No, I want to know how you feel about it.
Awenasa: Are you happy?
Me: Yes. There’s something that could make me even happier, but yes, I’m very happy.
Awenasa: Then, no, it doesn’t bother me. I love you, Kayla, and I want you to be happy, as happy as you can possibly be. Why are you asking me this now? It’s been a few months that you’ve been with these girls.
Me: Because I made a promise today that I don’t want to ruin anything between us. I didn’t think before I spoke, but I also don’t want to take it back, because it’s something that would make me happy. I feel like I’m being selfish though.
My heart is racing and I feel sick to my stomach. I shift in my seat and lean forward some with my head in one hand, leaning on my outside armrest while I wait for her response. I’m terrified what she’s go
ing to say. My phone vibrates and I quickly unlock my phone, but it’s not Awenasa.
Shannon: Are you ok? You look like you feel sick or you just received really bad news.
I look over my shoulder at Shannon and she looks concerned. I give her a small smile and turn back to respond.
Me: Yeah, stomach feels off. I’m a little nauseous, but I’ll be ok.
My phone vibrates again, and I quickly back out of Shannon’s thread to go back to Awenasa’s.
Awenasa: I’ve never known you to act selfishly, at all. Do not be afraid to speak to me. Just tell me what you did that you think I might be upset about so that I can ease your mind and put a smile back on your beautiful face.
Me: You just did – make me smile, I mean. I told my girls that I want to marry all of them.
Awenasa: You have such a big heart, puppy, that I think you could actually make having four wives work and make sure they all have the love and support they need. Did you give them promise rings yet?
I smile really big and laugh a little as I race to respond.
Me: No, you are still the only one with my ring. I was thinking about giving them promise rings at Christmas. Would you be ok with that?
My phone is buzzing with an unread message, so I quickly go back to Shannon’s thread.
Shannon: Do you need anything?
Shannon: You suddenly look like you’re feeling better. Is your stomach issue conflict related?
Me: I thought so, but I guess not.
Shannon: Ok…
Me: Sorry, I thought I had maybe hurt someone’s feelings, but I didn’t. Thanks for being concerned, baby. I love you.
Shannon: I love you too.
I glance over my shoulder at her smiling and she gives me an adorable affectionate closed lip smile.
Awenasa: If you love them and that would make you happy, then I’m ok with it. Were they happy when you said that you want to marry them?
Me: Yes, they were really happy. Hang on, I’ll tell you what happened, but it’s going to be long.
It takes me a couple minutes to explain the whole situation and when I send the text, it’s so long that my phone has to convert it to a multimedia message and I have to scroll to see the whole thing.
Awenasa: That’s cute. It’s nice to know I am still relevant in your parent’s eyes even though I’ve had to make you wait so long.
Me: There you go making my heart flutter again with these statements that make me yearn for you in ways I’ve never been able to have you.
Awenasa: I know. I’m sorry, my sweet puppy. I can’t wait to lay in your arms and stare in your eyes, while I listen to you talk. I love your voice.
Me: That sounds wonderful and only makes my heart miss you even more. I love your voice too, especially when you sing for me.
Awenasa: Are your girls going to be able to handle this?
Me: Handle what?
Awenasa: Us.
Me: I hope so.
Awenasa: Me too, puppy. I don’t want to see you get hurt. I think Shannon and Madison will be ok. Sam concerns me though. She didn’t like me this past summer and was really mad that you wouldn’t give me the cold shoulder and stop showing your adorable affections for me.
Me: Well, it’s impossible for me to turn those off. Maybe she’ll be different this time because we’re in the family life now. It would be pretty hypocritical for them to get upset, don’t you think?
Awenasa: Technically, yes, but the heart doesn’t always use logic or common sense.
Me: How many more months till I get to see you?
Awenasa: 7 – I’ll be there in June, my love.
Me: Damn, it’s still so far away.
Awenasa: I want to mail you something. Would that be ok?
I practically leap in my chair in excitement and release a small happy laugh. The woman next to me looks over and giggles a little.
“You must be talking to the love of your life. You are glowing over there.” I look over at her and blush deep red and laugh a little. “Sorry, am I annoying you?” She smiles and shakes her head. “No, you’re fine.” I smile and look back at my phone.
Me: You just made me hop in my seat like a goofy kid and the woman next to me said, “You must be talking to the love of your life. You are glowing.” What are you sending me?
Awenasa: I love that even a stranger can see how much you love me, even when I’m not physically there with you. I want to send you something I made for you.
Me: I can’t wait to see it. I’m not leaving my dorm till just before Christmas break, so you can send it there. Do you still have the address?
Awenasa: I do. I’ll have it in the mail tomorrow. How am I going to send you mail after you move?
Me: I’ll just have to give you the apartment address. They won’t open my mail.
Awenasa: Ok, puppy.
Me: So, what are you sending me?
Awenasa: It’s a surprise.
Me: Can I mail you something?
Awenasa: You already have – just a couple weeks ago, you sent me that amazing handmade clay mug with a wolf etched into it. I have been using it every day. I love it.
Me: I want to do that with you again – make pottery. Do you still have that clay bowl we made together?
Awenasa: You know I do, puppy. I’m looking at it right now. It sits on my nightstand. That was one of my favorite days and nights with you.
Once a year, we visit the reservation in Cherokee, North Carolina, where Awenasa lives, and where my mom grew up. We have a lot of family and friends there, but I typically spend the entire visit with Awenasa and we go do whatever we want. A few years ago, while we were visiting, Awenasa showed me how to make pottery the traditional Cherokee way. It was a lot of fun. We collected the clay from nature and worked it with our hands like kneading dough to get the excess moisture out. Then she showed me how to make a round disc for the bottom, and coils to make the sides. We stacked the coils around the edge of the disc to build up the sides of the bowl, and then used our fingers to pinch and smooth it out. We worked it for a long time getting it just perfect. We then used arrow heads to etch designs into it and write our names on the bottom. After it baked in the hot sun and was completely dried out, we stuffed it with fresh green grasses and flowers and set it in a fire that we built in the woods. After it was cooked in the fire, the clay was hardened and it glowed like cinnamon chocolate. It turned out beautifully. Its only about the size of a volleyball cut in half, but I was really proud of how it turned out.
Me: Mine too. I loved playing in the clay with you and I love when you teach me about our culture. I feel like you’re always teaching me something new when we’re together. I really like that, a lot.
Awenasa: I know, that’s why I try to learn as much as I can from our elders to share it with you. I know how much you love our culture and that makes me really happy, because when I leave the reservation, I know I won’t be giving up my culture and way of life.
Me: Wait, you’re leaving the reservation? When?
Awenasa: One day.
I jump forward in my seat and read her last two texts again. Can she mean what I think she means? I smile really big and lean back in my chair, pulling my knees up to my chest.
Me: Why and where you going?
Awenasa: Oh, puppy, you’re so adorable. Do I not wear your ring?
I literally jump out of chair, throw my fists in the air, and scream, “Yes!”, before falling back into my chair to quickly respond. My neighbor giggles, but I’m too overwhelmed with joy. I just want to run and scream and dance, but I’m stuck thousands of miles up in the sky.
Me: OMG! When?! Are you serious? I literally just jumped out of my seat and screamed “yes!”.
Awenasa: I’m serious. I wish I could talk to you on the phone right now.
Me: When?! Tomorrow? Next week? Can I come get you right now?
Awenasa: You’re so cute. You have me smiling so big right now that my cheeks hurt. My plan is next summer. I’m sorry I couldn’t
tell you sooner, but I wasn’t sure how long it would take to make arrangements here. But I’ve taken care of what I needed to with the tribe and my family, so now we can start building the life we’ve always talked about. Well, with the addition of your girls.
I jump up again and release another sound of happy victory. A flight attendant comes over to me and taps me on the shoulder. I look back at her and she smiles and laughs a little.
“That’s some smile. I’m sorry, but I need you to stay in your seat.” I laugh and nod. “Right, sorry. I keep forgetting I’m fifty thousand feet in the air.”
She laughs and I turn to take my seat. As I’m sitting, my eyes catch Shannon’s and she’s giving me a curious smile. I feel anxiety wash over me and my smile immediately wipes from my face. The color seems to drain from her face and her smile disappears as well. I turn around and rub the back of my neck, trying to take a deep breath.
Me: The flight attendant just had to come ask me to stay in my seat. I think I’m going to get myself banned from flying if I can’t contain my happiness. I think I just blew my cover though. My eyes locked with Shannon’s and my smile just wiped right off my face. I could actually see the color drain from her face as if she knew I had to be talking to another girl.
Awenasa: Do you suddenly regret us?
Me: NO! I love you and have always wanted to be with you. I’m just not good at saying what I want and I rarely do. I don’t know why, but I feel like I’m doing something wrong when I say what I want.