Unexpected: A Backpacker Romance (The Backpacker Romances)

by Marin Harlock

  “What’s your sister’s name?” I asked Nicky, realising all of sudden that I didn’t know.

  “Elia. Her band is called ‘The Bearded Squirrels’.”

  I laughed. That name was awesome.

  We let out a big cheer when Elia’s band came on the stage. Nicky pointed his sister out to us - she was the petite, blonde, tattooed drummer.

  They were actually pretty good, to my surprise. I didn’t know why I was surprised; they’d been booked for this gig after all, chances are they weren’t going to be rubbish. Maybe I’d been scared by watching too many of Tom’s brother’s amateur gigs. Poor kid had a dream to be a famous musician. He was terrible though.

  We bopped along while they played their set. The crowd was getting into it, dancing away, cheering after each song.

  “I just got a massive grilling from your sister,” I told Leo with a faint laugh. It was our turn to get the next round, and we’d woven our way through the crowd to a stand that was selling drinks.

  Leo turned to me and frowned. “What did she say?” He looked around to see if she was still in calling distance, but we couldn’t see her.

  “Oh you know, the usual thing you expect from an over-protective father or older brother… what are my intentions, yada yada yada.”

  Leo smirked. “Oh really?”

  “Uh huh,” I said.

  “And what are your intentions Miss Beatrix? Are they honourable?”

  “Most definitely not.”

  The rest of the night flew by in a blur of music, drinks, more frites and food, laughter, and stolen kisses. I found myself not wanting it to end. I had to go back to England in the morning.

  Leo and I found ourselves alone for the first time in hours. We were standing at the edge of a dark little alley. I turned my mind away from imagining what could be down there and tried to focus on the man in front of me.

  “I really like you, Bea.” He pulled me close. I loved the feeling of being in his arms, so safe and warm.

  “I really like you too, Leo.” I could feel the smile stretching my face.

  “What are we doing?” He leaned his forehead against mine, staring into my eyes.

  “What do you mean?” I wanted to kiss him and wipe away the serious, sad look on his face.

  “I mean… we’re treading on dangerous ground.” I still didn’t know what he meant, so I didn’t say anything. Was he talking about the dark, possibly dangerous alleyway?

  “You’re amazing, and I’m glad you came to visit me. But…”

  Uh oh. “But?”

  “I’m falling for you, Bea. Is that how you say it?”

  I nodded and was about to reply that I was falling for him too, but then he kept speaking.

  “And I don’t know where it’s going to go,” he sighed and pulled me tighter against him. I breathed in the scent of him, trying to commit to memory.

  “Do we have to know where it’s going?” I asked eventually.

  “I just mean… with you being Australian, and me being Belgian… it’s just…”

  “It’s complicated. I know. I get it. It would be a lot simpler if we were from the same town, like Joeri and Anika, but…” I stopped and chewed my lip, frowning. Leo’s fingers traced my lip, forcing me to stop biting it.

  “Life is short, that’s something I know all too well. Why waste time worrying about the future? Let’s just enjoy the now. And right now, I want to kiss you,” Leo said huskily.

  “Well then. You’d better kiss me.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Back in London: again

  A feeling of emptiness gathered inside me as I surveyed my little room. Flecks of rain drizzled down the narrow window, grey light barely illuminating the room.

  I dumped my bag down unceremoniously on the floor and switched the light on to chase away some of the gloom.

  This post-travel funk was becoming all too familiar. Why did I go anywhere at all, if all I was going to feel was blue when I got home? Maybe I needed a new home...

  I sank down onto the rickety, little bed and pulled my laptop towards me. I wrote off a couple of quick emails to my mother and brother.

  Hey Lewis,

  Hope all is well back home. I just got back from a little trip over to Belgium. It was great, I think I want to go back. I stayed with a friend we made in Lisbon. It was really nice, living sort of like a local, and not just in a hostel or hotel or whatever. I actually got to meet and hang out with the locals.

  I've been thinking I want to get out of London. It's great here, don't get me wrong, but really... I came here to be with Tom. We chose London because he could teach here. Now that's over, well... what am I sticking around for? It kind of just feels like I've transplanted my usual life (sans boyfriend). I'm still living with Mara and Annie, just like back home. I mainly only hang out with other Aussies and Kiwis. The expat community over here is pretty incestuous. I barely know any actual English people, apart from my boss (and she's Scottish!) which seems a bit wrong now that I think about it.

  Anyway. Rambling. Belgium was lovely. Did I say that already? I stayed in Ghent, which is where my friend, Leo, lives. He was awesome and acted like my tour guide, showing me around. We went to Bruges, Brussels, and he even took me to his hometown on the North Sea. Kind of made me miss our beaches back home! So much wilder. Feel about 10 kilos heavier. Drank a lot of Belgian beers, ate a lot of simply divine Belgian chocolate, and ate far too many frites with mayonnaise. I wonder what the Belgian life expectancy is...

  It's a beautiful country, and I definitely recommend you add it to your list! I can even hook you up with a tour guide or two :)

  Bruges was simply gorgeous, you'd love it. There was an actual castle around the corner from Leo's house. A freakin’ castle!

  Anyway. Apart from that, things are going along pretty well. I think I'll keep saving up, and then maybe head out on my own for a few months around Europe. We'll see if I'm brave enough.

  Miss you,

  Love Bea.

  Tom's email was still sitting there, unanswered. I really didn't know what to say to him, or what I even wanted from him. Did I want to be friends with him? I wasn't sure. Could we even be friends? We'd never really been friends. Sure, we’d known each other for a month or two before we’d started dating, but that had been filled with flirting and innuendoes, not friendship. What would I even get out of a friendship with Tom? It was probably just a way for him to feel less guilty or something. Soothe his latent guilt, or whatever. I chewed my lip, and then decided to leave it for yet another day.

  I hoped on Facebook instead. There was a message from Leo waiting for me.

  Hi Bea. I hope you got safely home! I just wanted to say I had a great time with you here, and loved showing you around, and my bed feels empty without you in it.

  Miss you.

  Leo xoxo

  I smiled softly as I read his message over a few times. I wondered idly what I'd have to do to get a work permit for Belgium, and then shook my head. Too soon, too soon. I couldn't get attached yet. Although it might be too late for that, I realised in a moment of clarity.

  “So! How was it? Tell us everything!” Mara all but shoved me down onto the couch and thrust a very full glass of red wine into my hand. Annie hid a laugh behind her hand and winked at me. Gemma just rolled her eyes good-naturedly at Mara but looked expectantly at me nonetheless, and perched herself on the side of the couch.

  I took a gulp of wine, eyeing my friends over the rim of the glass. They all looked enthusiastically at me.

  “It was good.”

  Mara rolled her eyes, and Annie leaned over to tip the glass of wine closer to my mouth. I pushed her away, laughing.

  “What do you want to know?” I asked after a moment. Teasing my friends was more enjoyable than I’d thought it would be.

  “Everything,” Mara repeated.

  “Everything?” I echoed.

  The three girls nodded.

  “Well, the train ride under the tunnel was
nice. I nearly got on the wrong train when I had to change though…”

  “Not that, you silly goose,” Annie said.

  “Leo. Tell us what happened with Leo,” Mara whined.

  “Okay, okay. I’m not going to be able to leave until I tell you, am I?”

  The three girls shook their heads in unison.

  “Okay, well I’ll tell you what you want to know first - yes, we hooked up. And it was wonderful.”

  Gemma raised her glass to me, Annie whooped and Mara actually cheered.

  “Geez, if I knew you lot were this invested in my sex life, I would have done something about it sooner…”

  “So when are you going to see him again?” Mara asked eagerly. Annie frowned at her for a moment, but then switched her gaze to me.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know yet.”

  “Don’t rush into anything, Bea,” Annie cautioned.

  Mara waved her hand in front of Annie’s face, as if to make me disregard what Annie had said.

  “Don’t listen to her, fling away!”

  “Is it still a fling if she keeps seeing him though?” Gemma pondered.

  “Guys, relax. Yes, I like him, but we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend or anything yet. I don’t know if we will, even. I just want to relax a bit, enjoy it and see how things go.”

  Gemma nodded, but Annie looked at me with narrowed eyes. I squirmed. She knew me too well, damn it. It didn’t matter how often I told myself that I would keep it casual and not get attached, I knew deep down that I was getting attached.

  The bookshop hadn’t changed, but then again, I don’t know why it would have; I’d only been gone for five days. I busied myself, shelving a pile of new arrivals, and making sure all of the series were in the appropriate order. Book series being shelved in the wrong order was a pet peeve of mine. I found myself fixing them in other shops, not just the one I worked at. Tom had thought it was cute, although slightly annoying when I insisted on re-arranging his shelves and then got cranky with him when he put his own books back in the wrong order. I still sometimes wondered how we lasted as long as we did.

  The bell above the door tinkled, and I turned to greet the new customer. The words died on my lips though. It was Tom. He glanced around for a moment before his eyes landed on me. He took a deep breath and let it out steadily.

  “Hi,” he said, fingers fiddling with his jacket zipper.

  “Hello,” I said slowly. “What are you doing here?”

  “Did you get my email?” Tom asked in a rush. I hadn’t seen him this nervous in a long, long time.

  I looked closely at the man I used to love for a moment, taking in the familiar sight. He’d grown a beard. It suited him, I decided after a moment.

  I nodded slowly. “Yes, I got it.”

  “You didn’t reply,” he said with a slight frown.

  “I didn’t know what to say,” I said after a moment of still not knowing what to say. I offered up a little shrug and set my face in what I hoped was an apologetic expression.

  “Have you got time for a coffee or anything?”

  I shook my head. “I can’t. I’m here alone today.” He seemed to deflate a bit and I felt sorry for him for a flash of an instant. “I finish work at four though, I’ll be free then.”

  “Okay. I’ll come back. I’ll see you at four.”

  “Okay,” I echoed.

  He gave me a brief, small smile, and then turned to leave the shop.

  I sank down onto the stool behind the cash register. My heart was thudding in my chest, and my face felt overly warm. What did he want? Really? Surely he didn’t want to get back together or anything like that. What did I want? Leo was still fresh in my mind, but I didn’t know what we were. We liked each other a lot, and enjoyed each others company immensely, but in the long run, was it really going to happen? He was a Belgian, living in Belgium. I was Australian, living in London for a year or two, just like he’d said on my last night there. The far more sensible thing would be to fall for a fellow Australian, or at least someone who wanted to live in the same place as me.

  Leo and I hadn’t really talked about the future much, at least not in terms of us, together. I was pretty sure he wasn’t about to pack up his life and move to Australia though, and I didn’t know if I wanted to move to Belgium. I shook my head, to try and clear my thoughts. I was getting ahead of myself. Leo and I had only met three times, after all. They were logistics for Future!Bea to figure out, if she needed to. But what about Tom? I needed to talk to someone. I did a quick reconnaissance of the shop. It was empty apart from old Bert who was quietly reading in his little nook. I didn’t think he’d mind if I made a quick phone call.

  I fished my mobile phone out of my bag and scrolled through to Annie’s name.

  She answered on the first ring.

  “What’s up?” she asked, sounding slightly alarmed.

  “Nothing,” I said, quickly. “Well, nothing serious.”

  “What is it?”

  “I just had an unexpected visitor,” I started.

  “Oh? Who was it? You’re not going to make me guess are you?”

  I laughed. “No. I’m not going to make you guess. It was Tom.”

  “Oh. Tom.” Annie paused for a moment. “What did he want?”

  “I’m not sure, yet. Well, not entirely…”

  “Yet?”

  “I told him to come back after I finish my shift.”

  “Right,” Annie said, sounding slightly confused. “What do you think he wants?”

  I shrugged, and then realised of course Annie couldn't see me. “Well…” I hadn’t got around to telling my friends about Tom’s email. “I didn’t tell you at the time, but Tom emailed me a week or two ago, before I went to Belgium. I never replied. I didn’t know what to say to him...”

  “I see… what was in his email?” Annie asked.

  “Not much. He just said he missed me and wanted to see me again.”

  “Was that after he saw you and Leo at the pub? It would have been, wouldn’t it?”

  “Yeah… why? Do you think he was jealous or something?”

  “Something like that.”

  “But you guys saw him with that blonde girl, he can’t be jealous. Not really.”

  “Bea, you know it’s different when it’s your ex. It can feel fine for you to be flirting with someone new, or more, but if you see your ex do it, even if you were the one who broke up with them, it can hit you hard, and sometimes it hits you harder than you think it would.” I wondered if Annie was thinking of her ex, Geoff. I didn’t mention him though. I remembered the look on Tom’s face when he saw me with Leo at the pub, and thought she might have a point.

  “What should I say to him?”

  “Well, what do you want?” Annie asked, pragmatic as always.

  “I… I don’t know… I still have pretty mixed feelings about Tom. Leo’s been a great distraction, but I don’t really know what’s going on there. It’s still so new. Tom’s so… familiar.”

  “Well, don’t make any rash decisions.”

  “I won’t.” The bell tinkled, signalling another customer. “Hey, thanks for the chat, but I have to go. Work beckons.”

  “Okay, I’ll be home tonight, so we can debrief then if you want.”

  “Thanks, Annie. You’re the best. See you later.”

  I hung up and turned to the new customers, a trio of twenty-something year old young women, who looked happy enough browsing without my interference.

  I tried not to dwell too much on the upcoming conversation with Tom, but of course I couldn’t help it. I had to shake myself, focus on my breathing and read a few pages of Harry Potter when my thoughts started spiralling.

  As promised, Tom was waiting for me at the end of my shift. I hovered for a moment, watching him through the glass window. He had his hands in his pockets, and was swaying back and forth on his heels, just like he always used to do when he was nervous. Damn it. I could deal with a cocky Tom. I didn’t know if I could dea
l with a nervous, vulnerable Tom. I brought Leo’s face to the front of my mind to steel myself, and then felt guilty for it.

  I turned to wave goodbye to Rosemarie, and then steeled myself to go out the door. Deep breaths, Bea. Deep breaths.

  Tom seemed to be lost in his own thoughts and didn’t notice me at first. I coughed softly and he turned, face lighting up when he saw me.

  “Hi,” I said. It was strange, how familiar this was. When we’d first started seeing each other, Tom had often waited for me after work. He’d gradually stopped though, I didn’t know why. It almost felt like old times as we fell in together, walking side by side up the street.

  I didn’t even begin to know what to say to him, so I stayed quiet, waiting for him to make the first move. I hated how nervous and clammy I felt. I was meant to be over the damn guy. He shouldn’t still be able to make me feel that way.

  “So, how have you been?” he asked after we got to the end of the block. I’d been beginning to wonder if we’d just keep walking around in perpetual silence.

  “I’ve been good,” I said, more formally that I usually would. “And you?”

  Tom nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been all right.”

  We kept walking.

  “How’s school?” I asked, after a few moments.

  “Yeah, great. Well, you know… it’s school. Good minutes and bad minutes, usually pretty close together. Is it too early for a beer?” Tom looked down at his wrist and then up at me, a mischievous, cute (damn it) little grin lighting up his all too familiar face.

  I shrugged. A drink might calm my nerves. Or it might make things worse… I’d have to be careful and only have one or two.

  We ducked into a cute little pub that I hadn’t been to before. There was a surprising amount of people in there seeing as it wasn’t even 5pm yet, but I tried not to judge; I was there after all. I was one of them.

  Tom let me pick the table, and I gravitated towards a little one by the window, where I could see both the street outside, and the action in the pub. Tom went up to the bar and bought us a couple of pints.