Embracing the Knight

by Langston, Jenn

  “You wouldn’t look?” She batted her eyelashes.

  “So, you came all this way and tracked me here to ask if I would look at your breasts?”

  “No. I . . .” Heat raced up her face, and she forced her gaze away from his incredulous expression. Stated that way, she wasn’t sure how to respond.

  He dismounted and took the reins of both horses, tying them off, then offered up his hand. She slid off her horse and a thrill shot up her arm when he didn’t release her, merely pulled her along.

  “What is this all about?” His voice was like smooth velvet when he turned her face to him. “You are acting very strange. Not at all like the Claire I’ve known.”

  She hung her head, looking at their still linked hands. “I don’t want to lose you. What we have together is important to me. You are the only person I feel I can really talk to. I need you, Ian.”

  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Then, you shall have me. In whatever capacity you want for as long as you need.”

  When he opened his eyes, sadness lurked in their depths. He was making a huge sacrifice for her. And it hurt him to do so.

  Although she felt horrible for causing him pain, she could think of no other way to make him love her. She only hoped it wouldn’t go the opposite direction.

  She wouldn’t be able to stand it if he ended up hating her.

  Chapter 14

  Blinking rapidly to clear his vision, Ian set his glass back down. They had imbibed countless drinks since Gordon had returned home to Dailey hours before.

  “So, how are things going with my sister?” Gordon settled behind his desk with another bottle of brandy. “Tell me everything I’ve missed in my absence.”

  Ian let out a sigh and reached for the bottle, refilling his glass, and then downing it. Considering their next topic, he didn’t see himself stopping anytime soon.

  “That good?” Gordon let out a strained chuckle and finished his own glass before pouring them both another. “Me, too. When I left London, everything was clear. I knew exactly what I needed to do. But, now . . . What a bloody mess.”

  “Why can’t anything be simple?” Ian complained as the liquid happiness began to slur his words. “We should trade. I can solve your problem and you can take care of mine.”

  Gordon let out a mirthless laugh. “Thanks, but the last thing I need is for you to show up. Then, I’d be completely lost.”

  Ian surveyed his friend, his brows furrowed in thought. In all their years together Gordon had never been so tightlipped. Perhaps now, with the alcohol flowing freely, his friend would be more forthcoming.

  “You never know. I might actually be able to help. Why don’t you tell me about it?”

  The misery in Gordon’s eyes spoke volumes, as though they were both suffering from the same thing. The hurt on his friend’s face could only be brought about by a woman. Ian had never known the man to get so tangled up over a lady before.

  “There is no point. It’s done. There is nothing else I can do.” Depression seeped into Gordon’s words.

  A wry smile tugged at Ian’s lips. “I feel the same way about Claire.”

  That brought some fight into his friend’s face. “Don’t give up on her. My sister is stubborn, but not a lost cause. In my position as the head of the household, surely I can help. Let me—”

  “Don’t bother.” With a wave of his hand, Ian frowned. “Claire wants me. Desperately. Unfortunately, it’s only as a friend.”

  Gordon ran a gloved hand along his stubbled jaw. “It must be hard for her to see you as a man after thinking of you as a brother for all these years.”

  “That’s not the problem.” Considering how many times Claire tried to turn their relationship more physical rendered Gordon’s statement laughable.

  “You don’t know that. Women are different creatures.”

  “Trust me. I could have my way with her.” Ian grit his teeth to ward against the images parading through his mind. “And she would still think nothing more of me.”

  “How can you speak so certain?” A vein pulsed on Gordon’s neck as his gloved hand squeaked on his glass. The extreme force would surely break it. “You haven’t touched my sister, have you?”

  “Will you stop asking me that? If I had, don’t you think I would have clubbed her over the head and dragged her to Scotland?” Ian chuckled. “Honestly, that idea holds some merit.”

  Gordon snorted. “You think that would work, but wait until she wakes. Then she would have you turn the carriage around so fast it would break an axle.”

  Leaning back in his chair, Ian ran a hand over his face. “Where does that leave us? What are we supposed to do?”

  “I don’t know. I suppose you could give Claire what she wants, then sit back and wait for her to come around.”

  As Ian took a deep breath, he tried to cast from his mind exactly what Claire wanted from him. He had tried to be her friend, but it didn’t work. Being her lover would be pleasurable, but not enough. Or, would it? The more brandy he drank, the more the idea sounded perfect. His body responded, clearly in agreement. Surely if they slept together, she’d be begging him to marry her. If for nothing else than to experience it again. Why hadn’t he thought of this earlier?

  “What about you? Are you going to give your lady what she wants?”

  “I am. Actually, I already have. I’ve left. That’s what she wants of me.”

  “They may say that, but women never mean it. You should go back to her. Then you can be as miserable as me.”

  Gordon refilled their glasses and lifted his toward Ian. “Aren’t we a pair? We’ve gone from breaking hearts to having ours stomped on. At least we aren’t in love with them, right?”

  “I wish I wasn’t,” Ian admitted to his friend as his throat grew thick.

  There was the painful difference between them. Where Gordon could walk away from his lady, Ian would always love Claire.

  He’d tried so hard to see Lady Ellie as something more, but no matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he stared at her, he wasn’t moved. But, one glance at Claire from across the room and he couldn’t see straight.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Ian stood, swaying slightly on his feet. “Me, too. Well, I suppose I should return home. Although the reason isn’t pleasant, I’m glad to have you back.”

  As Ian left his friend’s study, the room swerved awkwardly in front of him. When he and Gordon had finished the decanter of brandy, he hadn’t realized how much it had affected him. Until now.

  Moving slowly, he used the wall for support, all the while trying not to think about Claire. The possibility of seeing her on his way out made his feet drag even more as he glanced into the rooms he passed. He was in a sad state to resort to something so low.

  Peering into the library, his breath caught as he saw Claire quietly reading on the sofa. Alone. His heart pounded in his chest. Give her what she wants. The words echoed through his inebriated brain. Opportunity was definitely on his side. And simply looking at her made him ache for her.

  He slipped into the room and closed the door. When he slid the bolt into place, Claire looked up at him, surprise on her face.

  “Ian? What are you doing here?”

  “Giving you what you want,” he slurred as he moved through the room toward her.

  “And what would that be?” She put her book aside as she crossed her arms. “You’re drunk.”

  When he stood in front of where she sat, he dropped to his knees to get down to eye level. As he leaned forward, she wrinkled her nose.

  “Ian, how much did you drink?”

  “It doesn’t matter.” He cupped her cheek with one hand. “Kiss me.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Why should I?”

  Running his thumb across her lips,
he rejoiced when they parted for him. She could deny it, but he knew she wanted him as much as he wanted her. Anticipation put a smile on his face.

  “Because you want to. You can’t say that you don’t. Tell me how much you want me, Claire.”

  Her eyes rounded, but he didn’t care about shocking her. Before long, there would be no tension left around them. No more room for anything to wedge itself between them.

  “Tell me,” he whispered, his lips only an inch away now.

  “Why do you want me to say it?” Her attempt at sternness was lost by the throaty quality of her voice.

  Blood pounded in his ears. He needed to hear it. Needed the confirmation from those delectable lips. Now.

  “Because, I want you. So bad I can hardly stand it. So, I ask you again. Do you want me, Claire?”

  “Yes. Yes, Ian, I want you.”

  He closed his eyes as the heady sensation poured through him, clouding his mind even further than the drink. Unable to take waiting any longer, he captured her mouth with his, delving his tongue into her warmth. Her soft moan filled him with so much lust, he had to fight himself not to rip her clothes off.

  Swelling to the point of discomfort, Ian slid Claire to the edge of the sofa, her legs straddling him. As he pressed himself up against her, spikes of pleasure shot through him, making him frantic. She pulled her mouth from his and threw her head back, pressing herself even further up against him.

  “Bloody hell, Claire. I can’t take it.”

  Desperate for more of her, he yanked down the bodice of her gown, not caring as the material ripped under his eager hands. Claire didn’t seem to mind either when his lips closed over her nipple. Her small whimper further inflamed him. She was so sensitive, his every touch, every movement of his tongue brought her closer to the brink. And he had barely begun.

  Unable to take another second, he laid her back on the sofa, pulling her skirts up. As he kneeled above her, he surveyed his prey. Heavy lidded eyes, parted lips, torn gown exposing bountiful breasts, the creamy expanse of legs, and what lie between them robbed him of any further thoughts. He needed her right now.

  One thread of sanity remained and he clutched onto it. Needing the reminder. She was untried. Lust battled reason as he slipped one finger inside her. She was slick, hot, ready for him. Falling on top of her, he moved his finger inside of her, adding another, stretching her for his upcoming invasion.

  She clung to him, meeting his kiss and pressing against his hand. He burned, anxious to sink himself inside of her, but he refused to give in. When she stilled, he took her cries into his mouth.

  Sweat dripped down his back at his restraint, but it was worth it. The wondrous pleasure on Claire’s face made him swell even further. God, she was beautiful. Gritting his teeth, he freed himself.

  For so long he’d wanted this. Wanted her. He would love to savor the moment, but the blood rushing through his ears and lower extremities demanded he slake his lust—immediately.

  Positioning himself at her entrance, he filled her with one thrust. He groaned. She was so tight. So welcoming. His vision blurred at the amazing sensation that he never wanted to end. Although his body demanded he move, he fought to remain still, instead choosing to rain kisses across Claire’s face. When he rested his cheek against Claire’s, she let out a sigh.

  “Is it over?” Her voice shook. “Is that all?”

  Slowly, he pulled back, then filled her again. She moaned.

  “Do you want it to be?” He repeated the motion as he watched the surprise on her face.

  She bit her lip and shook her head. When she met his next thrust, he growled and increased the pace. Fire raged through his body as he pounded into her until ecstasy took hold of her once again.

  Her body clenched around him, and he lost it. As pleasure shot through his body, he bit down on his tongue to stifle his roar. He sailed to Heaven on a cloud of pure bliss with Claire joining him.

  Nothing he had ever experienced to date could compare. This was love. This was Claire.

  When he settled back to the world, he was greeted with the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen. His heart pounded in his chest. He loved her more than he could ever say. With his head spinning, he couldn’t think of anything but her.

  “Claire, I . . . feel for you. So much.” The words spilled from his mouth, slurred. Her mouth was moving, but he couldn’t hear her. He blinked rapidly, trying to clear the fog, but his eyes didn’t want to remain open. Confusion wrinkled his brow as he pulled out of her. In the past he’d never become drunk enough to pass out.

  He tried to stand, but fell back to the sofa, his eyes still warring with him. The sound of rushing water filled his ears as nausea hit his stomach. He groaned, fighting, as his eyelids won, falling closed against his will. Where was Claire?

  The next thing he knew, the soft welcoming cushions made contact with his face.

  Claire’s hands shook as she dismounted her mare and tethered the reins to a nearby tree. Although she and Ian hadn’t talked about it, she sincerely hoped he would meet her here today. Just the thought of seeing him after yesterday shot nerves through her. How would he act today?

  Thinking about their experience in the library brought goosebumps to her flesh and pooled desire between her legs. Joy welled up inside her, making her laugh out loud. Today she would tell Ian she wanted to marry him. After all, he’d confessed to having feelings for her.

  She plucked a flower from the grass and ran the soft petals across her lips. After his slight confession, she had made a confession of her own, finally admitting her love for him. Considering he’d been deep in his cups at the time, she wasn’t sure he’d heard her, but today gave her another opportunity. She could hardly wait.

  As she recalled him falling asleep afterward, she shook her head. Her cheeks heated as she remembered righting his clothing. That special part of him felt so soft and hard at the same time, she’d wished for more time to explore him. Her curiosity was far from satisfied.

  After she had dashed upstairs to change her ruined gown, she told Gordon that she had stumbled across Ian asleep in the library. Her brother had been just as drunk and had laughed for a good minute before having the butler and a footman assist Ian home.

  Hearing the whinnying of her mare, she spun around and saw Ian approaching. Her heart skipped a beat at the regal sight he presented on his beautiful stallion. Her love washed over her and she had to dig her toes into her riding boots to keep from running to him.

  “I had hoped you would come,” she confessed as he dismounted.

  “I told you I’m here for you in any way you want.”

  She smiled. She could think of one way she wanted him, right now. Clearing her throat, she tried to cast the images of them lying in the grass from her mind. She shivered.

  “Are you feeling better today?” she inquired as he neared her.

  He winced. “I should have known Gordon wouldn’t have kept my over-drinking to himself. My body is definitely making its displeasure known at my foolish choices.”

  His words made her smile falter. “You regret what happened yesterday?”

  “Drinking that much brandy? Absolutely. I haven’t done that since I was much younger and irresponsible.”

  Moving toward him, she put her hands on his chest, wishing he would kiss her. “There’s nothing wrong with an occasional lack of control.”

  “I suppose not.”

  He watched her with guarded eyes and appeared uncomfortable with her touch. After what happened between them, she didn’t think he would mind. Reluctantly pulling her hands away, she looked up at him expectantly.

  “Aren’t you going to kiss me?”

  His eyes widened as he retreated a few feet. “I don’t think that is such a good idea.”

  Her mouth fell open as tears
burned her eyes. This was it. The moment he would tell her what happened between them meant nothing. That he had only taken her innocence as she’d asked. She took a step back. Anger burned inside of her. How could he do this to her?

  “Why not?” she demanded.

  With something similar to pity in his eyes, he thrust his hand through his hair. “Because you want to be friends. There is a huge difference between that and kissing. You need to determine what you want from me and tell me directly.”

  “And, yesterday was what, exactly?”

  His brow furrowed. “Yesterday? We didn’t talk yesterday. What are you referring to?”

  Her head jerked back as if she’d been slapped. “You don’t remember? You came to the library after talking to Gordon.”

  Ian rubbed his forehead, a pained look on his face. “I remember talking to Gordon in the study when he first arrived home, then somehow I awoke in my bed this morning.”

  Spinning around, she took deep breaths trying to contain her tears. From his attitude today, it was clear he had only taken her innocence because of the brandy. The most special day of her life, and he didn’t even remember it.

  “So, you don’t even recall what you said to me?” The cold air rushed across her skin, making her wrap her arms around herself.

  She felt him move closer behind her, but he didn’t touch her.

  “I’m sorry I upset you. Whatever I said, please don’t hold it against me. It was the brandy talking.”

  There it was. Tears she could no longer hold back spilled down her face. Apparently that bottle of brandy had feelings for her. Not Ian. His warm hand touched her shoulder, but she shrugged him off. Right now she couldn’t handle it.

  “Claire.” His voice held concern, but she didn’t care.