Hearts Divided

by Debbie Macomber

  “You’re meeting at Ivar’s, right?”

  “Right.” Ruth didn’t remember telling her roommate. They were barely on speaking terms.

  “Too bad.”

  “Too bad what?” Ruth demanded.

  Lynn sighed once more and set aside the magazine. “If you must know, soldier boy phoned and said you should meet him outside the restaurant.” She grinned nastily. “And in case you haven’t noticed, it’s pouring out.”

  “I’m supposed to meet him outside?”

  “That’s what he said.”

  Ruth made an effort not to snap at her. “You didn’t think to mention this before now?”

  Lynn shrugged. “It slipped my mind.”

  Ruth just bet it did. Rather than start an argument, she collected her raincoat, umbrella and purse. Surely she would receive a heavenly reward for controlling her temper. Lynn would love an argument but Ruth wasn’t going to give her one; she wasn’t going to play those kinds of childish games with her roommate. The difference in their ages had never seemed more pronounced than it had in the past two weeks.

  Because of the rain, Ruth couldn’t find convenient street parking and was forced to pay an outrageous amount at a lot near the restaurant. She rushed toward Ivar’s, making sure she arrived in plenty of time to meet Paul by six. Lynn’s sour disposition might have upset Ruth if not for the fact that she was finally going to meet the soldier who’d come to mean so much to her.

  Focusing on her hair, dress and makeup meant she’d paid almost no attention to something that was far more important—what she’d actually say when she saw Paul for the first time. Ideas skittered through her mind as she crossed the street.

  Ruth hoped to sound witty, articulate and well informed. She so badly wanted to impress Paul and was afraid she’d stumble over her words or find herself speechless. Her other fear was that she’d take one look at him and humiliate herself by bursting into tears. It could happen; she felt very emotional about meeting this man she’d known only through letters and e-mails.

  Thankfully, by the time she reached Ivar’s, the rain had slowed to a drizzle. But it was still wet out and miserably gray. Her curls, which had been perfectly styled, had turned into tight wads of frizz in the humid air. She was sure she resembled a cartoon character more than the fashion model she’d strived for earlier that afternoon.

  After the longest ten-minute wait of her life, Ruth checked her watch and saw that it was now one minute past six. Paul was late. She pulled her cell phone from her bag; unfortunately Paul didn’t have a cell, so she punched out her home number. Perhaps he’d been delayed in traffic and called the house, hoping to connect with her.

  No answer. Either Lynn had left or purposely chose not to pick up the receiver. Great, just great.

  To her dismay, as she went to toss her cell phone back inside her purse, she realized the battery was low. Why hadn’t she charged it? Oh, no, that would’ve been much too smart.

  All at once Ruth figured it out. Paul wasn’t late at all. Somehow she’d missed him, which wouldn’t be that difficult with all the tourist traffic on the waterfront. Even in the rain, people milled around the area as if they were on the sunny beaches of Hawaii. Someone needed to explain to these tourists that the water dripping down from the sky was cold rain. Just because they’d dressed for the sunshine didn’t mean the weather would cooperate.

  By now her hair hung in tight ringlets all around her head. Either of two things had happened, she speculated. First, her appearance was so drastically changed from that glamour photo she’d sent him that Paul hadn’t recognized her and assumed she’d stood him up. The other possibility was even less appealing. Paul had gotten a glimpse of her and decided to escape without saying a word.

  For a moment Ruth felt like crying. Rather than waste the last of her cell phone battery phoning her roommate again, she stepped inside the restaurant to see if Paul had left a message for her.

  She opened the door and lowered her umbrella. As she did, she saw a tall, lean and very handsome Paul Gordon get up from a chair in the restaurant foyer.

  “Ruth?”

  “Paul?” Without a thought, she dropped the umbrella and moved directly into his embrace.

  Then they were in each other’s arms, hugging fiercely.

  When it became obvious that everyone in the crowded foyer was staring at them, Paul reluctantly let her go.

  “I was outside—didn’t you tell Lynn that’s where we were meeting?”

  “No.” He brushed the wet curls from her forehead and smiled down at her. “I said inside because I heard on the weather forecast that it was going to rain.”

  “Of course, of course.” Ruth wanted to kick herself for being so dense. She should’ve guessed what Lynn was up to; instead, she’d fallen right into her roommate’s petty hands. “I’m so sorry to keep you waiting.”

  A number of people were still watching them but Ruth didn’t care. She couldn’t stop looking at Paul. He seemed unable to break eye contact with her, too.

  The hostess came forward. “Since your party’s arrived,” she said with a smile, “I can seat you now.”

  “Yes, please.” Paul helped Ruth off with her coat and set the umbrella aside so it could dry. Then, as if they’d known and loved each other all their lives, he reached for her hand and linked her fingers with his as they walked through the restaurant.

  The hostess seated them by the window, which overlooked the dark, murky waters of Puget Sound. Rain ran in rivulets down the tempered glass, but it could have been the brightest, sunniest day in Seattle’s history for all the notice Ruth paid.

  Paul continued to hold her hand on top of the table.

  “I was worried about what I’d say once we met,” she said. “Then when we did, I was just so glad, the words didn’t seem important.”

  “I’d almost convinced myself you’d stood me up.” He yawned, covering his mouth with the other hand, and she realized he was probably functioning on next to no sleep.

  “Stood you up? I would’ve found a way to get here no matter what.” She let the truth of that show in her eyes. She had the strongest feeling of certainty, and an involuntary sense that he was everything she’d dreamed.

  He briefly looked away. “I would’ve found a way to get to you, too.” His fingers tightened around hers.

  “When did you last sleep?” she asked.

  His mouth curved upward in a half smile. “I forget. A long time ago. I probably should’ve suggested we meet tomorrow, but I didn’t want to wait a minute longer than I had to.”

  “Me, neither,” she confessed.

  He smiled again, that wonderful, intoxicating smile.

  “When did you land?” she asked, because if she didn’t stop staring at him she was going to embarrass herself.

  “Late this morning,” he told her. “My family—well, you know what families are like. Mom’s been cooking for days and there was a big family get-together this afternoon. I wanted to invite you but—”

  “No, I understand. You couldn’t because—well, how could you?” That didn’t come out right, but Paul seemed to know what she was trying to say.

  “You’re exactly like I pictured you,” he said, and his eyes softened as he touched her cheek.

  “You imagined me drenched?”

  He chuckled. “I imagined you beautiful, and you are.”

  His words made her blush. “I’m having a hard time believing you’re actually here,” she said.

  “I am, too.”

  The waitress came for their drink order. Ruth hadn’t even looked at her menu or thought about what she’d like to drink. Because she was wet and chilled, she ordered hot tea and Paul asked for a bottle of champagne.

  “We have reason to celebrate,” he announced. Then, as if it had suddenly occurred to him, he said, “You do drink alcohol, don’t you?”

  She nodded quickly. “Normally I would’ve asked for wine, but I wanted the tea so I could warm up. I haven’t decided what to or
der yet.” She picked up the menu and scanned the entrées.

  The waitress brought the champagne and standing ice bucket to the table. “Is there something special you’re celebrating?” she asked in a friendly voice.

  Paul nodded and his eyes met Ruth’s. “We’re celebrating the fact that we found each other.”

  “Excellent.” She removed the foil top and wire around the cork and opened the bottle with a slight popping sound. After filling the two champagne flutes, she left.

  Ruth took her glass. “Once again, I’m so sorry about what happened. Let me pay for the champagne, please. You wouldn’t have had a problem finding me if I’d—”

  “I wasn’t talking about this evening,” he broke in. “I was talking about your Christmas card.”

  “Oh.”

  Paul raised his glass; she raised hers, too, and they clicked the rims gently together. “Do you believe in fate?” he asked.

  Ruth smiled. “I didn’t, but I’ve had a change of heart since Christmas.”

  His smile widened. “Me, too.”

  Dinner was marvelous. Ruth didn’t remember what she’d ordered or anything else about the actual meal. For all she knew, she could’ve been dining on raw seaweed. It hardly mattered.

  They talked and talked, and she felt as if she’d known Paul her entire life. He asked detailed questions about her family, her studies, her plans after graduation, and seemed genuinely interested in everything she said. He talked about the marines and Afghanistan with a sense of pride at the positive differences he’d seen in the country. After dinner and dessert, they lingered over coffee and at nine-thirty Paul paid the tab and suggested they walk along the waterfront.

  The clouds had drifted away and the moon was glowing, its light splashing against the pier as they strolled hand in hand. Although she knew Paul had to be exhausted from his long flight and the family gathering, she couldn’t deny herself these last few minutes.

  “You asked me to keep the weekends free,” Ruth murmured, resting her head against his shoulder.

  “Did you?”

  She sighed. “Not tomorrow.”

  “Do you have a date with some other guy?”

  She leaned back in order to study his face, trying to discern whether he was serious. “You’re joking, right?” she murmured hesitantly.

  He shrugged. “Yes and no. You have no obligation to me and vice versa.”

  “Are you seeing someone else?”

  “No.” His response was immediate.

  “I’m not, either,” she told him. She wanted to ask how he could even think that she would be. “I promised my grandmother I’d visit tomorrow.”

  “Your grandmother?” he repeated.

  “She invited you, too.”

  He arched his brows.

  “In fact, she insisted I bring you.”

  “So you’ve mentioned me to your family.”

  She’d told him in her letters that she hadn’t. “Just her—she’s special. I’m sure you’ll enjoy meeting her.”

  “I’m sure I will, too.”

  “You’ll come, won’t you?”

  Paul turned Ruth into his arms and stared down at her. “I don’t think I could stay away.”

  And then he kissed her. Ruth had fantasized about this moment for months. She’d wondered what it would be like when Paul kissed her, but nothing she’d conjured up equaled this reality. Never in all her twenty-five years had she experienced anything close to the sensation she felt when Paul’s mouth descended on hers. Stars fell from the sky. She saw it happen even with her eyes tightly closed. She heard triumphant music nearby; it seemed to surround her. But once she opened her eyes, all the stars seemed to be exactly where they’d been before. And the music came from somebody’s car radio.

  Paul wore a stunned look.

  “That was…very nice,” Ruth managed after a moment.

  Paul nodded in agreement, then cleared his throat. “Very.”

  “Should I admit I was afraid of what would happen when we met?” she asked.

  “Afraid why? Of what?”

  “I didn’t know what to expect.”

  “Me, neither.” He slid his hand down her spine and moved a step away from her. “I’d built up this meeting in my mind.”

  “I did, too,” she whispered.

  “I was so afraid you could never live up to my image of you,” Paul told her. “I figured we could meet and I’d get you out of my system. I’d buy you dinner, thank you for your letters and e-mails—and that would be the end of it. No woman could possibly be everything I’d envisioned you to be. But you are, Ruth, you are.”

  Although the wind and rain were chilly, his words were enough to warm her from head to foot.

  “I didn’t believe you could be what I’d imagined, either, and I was right,” Ruth said.

  “You were?” He seemed crestfallen.

  She nodded. “Paul, you’re even more wonderful than I’d realized.” At his relieved expression, she said, “I underestimated how strong my feelings for you are. Look at me, I’m shaking.” She held out her hand as evidence of how badly she was trembling after his kiss.

  He shook his head. “I’ve been in life-and-death situations and I didn’t flinch. Now, one evening with you and my stomach’s full of butterflies.”

  “That’s lack of sleep.”

  “No,” he said, and took her by the shoulders. “That was what your kiss did to me.” His eyes glittered as he stared down at her.

  “What should we do?” she asked uncertainly.

  “You’re the one with reservations about falling for a guy in the service.”

  Her early letters had often referred to her feelings about exactly that. Ruth lowered her gaze. “The fundamental problem hasn’t changed,” she said. “But you’ll eventually get out, won’t you?”

  He hesitated, and his dark eyes—which had been so warm seconds before—seemed to be closing her out. “Eventually I’ll leave the marines, but you should know it won’t be anytime in the near future. I’m in for the long haul, and if you want to continue this relationship, the sooner you accept that, the better.”

  Ruth didn’t want their evening to end on a negative note. When she’d answered his letter that first time, she’d known he was a military man and it hadn’t stopped her. She’d gone into this with her eyes wide open. “I don’t have to decide right away, do I?”

  “No,” he admitted. “But—”

  “Good,” she said, cutting him off. She couldn’t allow their differences to come between them so quickly. She sensed that Paul, too, wanted to push all that aside. When she slid her arms around his waist and hugged him, he hugged her back. “You’re exhausted. Let’s meet in the morning. I’ll take you over to visit my grandmother and we can talk some more then.”

  Ruth rested her head against his shoulder again and Paul kissed her hair. “You’re making this difficult,” he said.

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “Me, too,” he whispered.

  Ruth realized they’d need to confront the issue soon. She could also see that settling it wasn’t going to be as easy as she’d hoped.

  Four

  Paul met Ruth at the Seattle terminal at ten the following morning and they walked up the ramp to board the Bremerton ferry. The hard rain of the night before had yielded to glorious sunshine.

  Unlike the previous evening, when Paul and Ruth had talked nonstop through a three-hour dinner, it seemed that now they had little to say. The one big obstacle in their relationship hung between them. They sat side by side on the wooden bench and sipped hot coffee as the ferry eased away from the Seattle dock.

  “You’re still thinking about last night, aren’t you?” Ruth said, carefully broaching the subject after a lengthy silence. “About you being in the military, I mean, and my objections to the war in Iraq?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, there’s the political aspect and also the fact that you don’t seem comfortable with the concept of military life,” he said.
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br />   “I’m not, really, but we’ll work it out,” she assured him, and reached for his free hand, entwining their fingers. “We’ll find a way.”

  Paul didn’t look as if he believed her. But after a couple of moments, he seemed to come to some sort of decision. He brought her hand to his lips. “Let’s enjoy the time we have today, all right?”

  Ruth smiled in agreement.

  “Tell me about your grandmother.”

  Ruth was more than willing to change the subject. “This is my paternal grandmother, and she’s lived in Cedar Cove for the past thirty years. She and my grandfather moved there from Seattle after he retired because they wanted a slower pace of life. I barely remember my grandfather Sam. He died when I was two, before I had any real memories of him.”

  “He died young,” Paul commented sympathetically.

  “Yes…My grandmother’s been alone for a long time.”

  “She probably has good friends in a town like Cedar Cove.”

  “Yes,” Ruth said. “And she’s still got friends she’s had since the war. It’s something I admire about my grandmother,” she continued. “Not only because she speaks three languages fluently and is one of the most intelligent women I know. She’s my inspiration. Ever since I can remember, she’s been helping others. Even though she’s in her eighties, Grandma’s involved with all kinds of charities and social groups. When I enrolled at the University of Washington, I intended for the two of us to get together often, but I swear her schedule’s even busier than mine.”

  Paul grinned at her. “I know what you mean. It’s the same in my family.”

  By the time they stepped off the Bremerton ferry and took the foot ferry across to Cedar Cove, it was after eleven. They stopped at a deli, where Paul bought a loaf of fresh bread and a bottle of Washington State gewürztraminer to take with them. At quarter to twelve, they trudged up the hill toward her grandmother’s duplex on Poppy Lane.

  When they arrived, Helen greeted them at the front door and eagerly ushered Paul and Ruth into the house. Ruth hugged her grandmother, whose white hair was cut stylishly short. Now in her early eighties, Helen was thinner than the last time Ruth had visited and somehow seemed more fragile. Her grandmother hugged her back, then paused to give Paul an embarrassingly frank look. Ruth felt her face heat as her grandmother spoke.