Coping Skills (Players of Marycliff University Book 5)

by Jerica MacMillan

  Coop ignored him while he backed out of the parking spot. “You gonna call her?”

  Taking a breath to answer, Daniel paused. “I don’t know.”

  “Then to the party we go.”

  “I thought you wanted me to call her.”

  Coop nodded. “I do. If you’re going to call her, I’ll take you home. Otherwise, you’re coming to the party.”

  “Dude, I don’t wanna hook up with some chick.”

  Coop gave him a sardonic look out of the corner of his eye. “I know you well enough to know that. But today was our last game, this is our last party as a team. You need to go, have a drink or two, hang out. Say goodbye.”

  “You act like I won’t see any of these guys ever again.”

  “Maybe you will. But it won’t be the same, and you know it. I’ll give you the keys, and you can leave whenever you want. I’ll figure out some other way to get home if you bail early. But you’re going.”

  “Fine.”

  “And you can call Elena after.”

  Daniel shook his head, but didn’t answer otherwise. Coop had made him curious about what Elena might have to say, but the more he thought about it, the more it seemed like a bad idea. No, Coop had been right with his initial judgment. He needed to stay away from her. Not call her and find out what she wanted. He didn’t need to be a math major to know that that was a formula for disaster.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “Mamá, I know. I’m sorry. It’s just too soon. I can’t handle being there for Thanksgiving break.”

  Elena heard her mom sniff, and felt a familiar twinge of guilt. But she was taking her therapist’s advice and doing what she needed to to protect herself. And right now she was still trying to process everything that had happened since June. Her attempt to apologize to Daniel yesterday had been a spectacular failure. She was too raw and vulnerable to put herself in range of her father’s outbursts. She needed time and space to come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t ever going to be the papi she’d grown up with.

  “Can you at least come for Thanksgiving Day? Tomás will be here.”

  Passing the phone from one hand to the other, Elena considered that. She could feasibly drive down on Thursday morning, have dinner with her family, and then drive back that night. Or stay with Hannah’s family. Hannah and Matt would be down there for Thanksgiving with her parents.

  But she hadn’t even been able to handle an hour at Fall Break. Did she really think she could take several hours on top of a two and a half hour drive? And they were predicting snow this week.

  “I don’t think I can. Lo siento. It’s supposed to snow this week, and the roads will be bad.”

  Her mom’s sigh caused another pang of guilt. “Okay, mija. That’s probably smart. I just don’t like the thought of you sitting alone on Thanksgiving.”

  “Some friends that live too far from family are having a Thanksgiving dinner for those of us still here. I was planning on going to their place.”

  “Okay. Good. As long as you’re not alone.”

  She smiled. “I won’t be. I promise. And I’ll have a lot of time to study for the LSAT, since Hannah and Matt are leaving on Tuesday. My time alone will be put to good use.”

  “I’m glad.” Her mom let out another sigh. “I’ll talk to your papi about closing down operations, too. I’m sorry that I’ve expected you to keep things running all this time. I was just hoping …” She sniffed, and Elena felt more guilt at her mother’s tears.

  “I know, mami. I was hoping that too. But I don’t think it’s going to happen.”

  Her mom sniffed again. “I know. We’re going to apply for Social Security disability for him. So we need to close the business anyway.”

  “Okay. That’s good. Thank you for understanding.” That was another thing her therapist had encouraged—talking to her mom about closing her dad’s business. Despite the lack of consulting, his clients were still referring web design work to him, which meant she was doing it. And she couldn’t handle the workload anymore. Not if she was finally going to take the LSAT, and she was determined not to put it off anymore. She only had a few more weeks to study. Hannah had been helping her. Not spending time with Daniel had helped free up time as well. Though the memory of the anger on his face and the way he’d practically run away from her after his game yesterday still stung. She couldn’t blame him, though.

  After hanging up with her mom, she got out her test prep materials and settled in for an afternoon of studying. They had classes on Monday and Tuesday, but she’d finished the two papers due this week last night, needing something to distract her after Daniel’s rejection. She had other reading to do, but that could wait until tonight. She’d decided to apply to Stanford as well as some other schools. The thought of going far away had a much greater appeal than it used to, and her therapist’s repeated assurances that she wasn’t abandoning her family by pursuing her dreams made it easier to consider.

  The guilt still reared its ugly head. She could deal with it better than she used to, either by ignoring it or reminding herself that taking care of her own needs made her better equipped to care for others.

  The six hour drive to Portland gave Daniel lots of time to think. He skipped his afternoon class on Tuesday so he didn’t spend most of the drive in the dark. With his phone connected to the car’s bluetooth, he had his favorite playlists going the whole time. And while he sang along to some of the songs at the top of his voice, the way he only did when alone in the car, most of the time he thought about Elena.

  And how great he’d thought everything had been.

  And how it had all gone to shit in the blink of an eye. Or a kick in the head, as the case may be.

  He’d been thinking about her almost nonstop since she came to the game. Coop’s attempts to distract him at the party didn’t work, and he’d left early, only able to fake having a good time for so long before he couldn’t anymore. And his teammates didn’t deserve to have him bringing them down with his moody bastard routine.

  Coop had hassled him about calling Elena the next day, but he’d told him to drop it, and, for once, Coop had listened and let it go. But maybe his roommate had a point. Maybe if he let Elena apologize, it would give him the closure he needed to move on. The problem was, he didn’t know if he wanted to move on.

  So he found himself stuck in this state of limbo, wanting two contradictory things. Part of him wished he could go back in time, back to when things with Elena were good. And the other part of him wished he could fast forward to a point where he didn’t still want her and miss her while simultaneously feeling betrayed by her.

  But that would mean closing the book on her, on them, and moving on. And he couldn’t bring himself to do that yet.

  He’d thought leaving, going home, would do him good. But once he found himself there, everything irritated him. His brother, Marcus, was too messy, the TV too loud, his mom too curious about everything. And then he and his brother had to go to their dad’s on Wednesday for Thanksgiving a day early with him and his latest girlfriend. They seemed to be getting younger. This one didn’t look like she was much older than him.

  When they got to his house, Daniel had knocked, like he usually did. Marcus looked over at him and shook his head. “I don’t know why you always knock. Dad’s cool with us just coming in.”

  Before Daniel could say anything, the door opened, and their dad stood there gesturing them inside. He wore jeans and an untucked button-down shirt with vertical blue stripes. He looked nice, put together, from his closely trimmed hair and goatee with the slightest amount of gray at the temples and sprinkled in his beard, to his tailored shirt and designer jeans, all the way down to his brown leather slip-on shoes.

  As though to prove Marcus’s point, their dad pulled them each in for a quick hug and said, “What’s with the knocking? You know you can just come in. This is your home.”

  Daniel grunted and looked away, managing to stop himself from denying that assertion. Their dad’s
house was always that—their dad’s house. They’d stayed with him on alternate weekends and holidays. Now that they were both over eighteen, they were forced into this charade of duplicate holidays. Their parents alternated who got them on the actual day, and who got a different day. Since Mom had them for Thanksgiving Day, they’d be at their dad’s on Christmas Day, celebrating with Mom on Christmas Eve.

  It didn’t matter. Mom’s house was home, and the celebrations with her were the real holidays as far as Daniel was concerned.

  Marcus gave him a look, as though waiting for Daniel to contradict their father. Marcus didn’t have the same hang-ups, having been less aware of how their dad had used them and the custody agreement as a way to punish their mom. If she asked for money for anything for them, he’d try to get the custody agreement changed until she either relented or agreed to whatever he wanted to avoid the hassle of going through the court systems and the costs of an attorney.

  It pissed Daniel off, because their dad could always afford the costs of the special football camp or whatever. He just took any and all opportunities to make life more difficult for Mom, mad at her for being unhappy with him and asking for the divorce.

  With a manipulative jackass like his father, Daniel couldn’t blame her. All their interactions left him feeling cold, wondering what angle his father was working with his offers of gifts and expensive trips. Daniel let him pay for school and his expenses and buy him things like his car. In exchange he had to attend these farcical “family” holiday celebrations with his dad and whatever girlfriend he was currently seeing. One more year, and he’d be done. He’d get a job and pay his own way, see his dad on his own terms. He couldn’t wait.

  Speaking of girlfriends, a tiny, blonde white girl peeked around the doorway into the kitchen. She looked like she could be Hannah’s older sister. That oblique reminder of Elena was enough to make him dislike her immediately.

  His dad motioned her forward. “Don’t be shy. Let me introduce you to my boys.” She took a few tentative steps until she was close enough for their dad to wrap his arm around her waist. “Boys, this is Jennifer. Jennifer, these are my boys Daniel and Marcus.”

  She gave them a shy smile. “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you both.”

  With a look at Daniel, Marcus held out his hand, gracing her with one of his charming smiles. “Pleasure to meet you, too. It’s nice of you to join us for Thanksgiving a day early.”

  She giggled, simpering at Marcus’s attention. “I see you’ve got your dad’s abilities as a flirt.”

  Marcus chuckled, and Daniel rolled his eyes, looking away. He made the mistake of clashing eyes with his dad, who looked irritated. Dropping his gaze, he felt a little guilty. It wasn’t Jennifer’s fault that his dad was a manipulative jackass or that Daniel was a moody bastard. He decided that he’d keep his head down and engage as little as possible while they had to be here and try to get them out as fast as he could.

  Marcus wasn’t on board with the plan, chatting and regaling everyone with stories of his freshman year at the University of Oregon, talking about his off-season training, and making new friends in the dorm. Marcus was attending on a track and field scholarship, having won the state two hundred meter dash his senior year, and taking fourth place in the one hundred ten meter hurdles. He’d start training hard once the spring semester started.

  Daniel ate the traditional Thanksgiving meal—turkey, mashed potatoes, dressing, the works, and didn’t add anything to the conversation, letting Marcus, his dad, and Jennifer talk as much as they wanted. He kept his eyes on his plate, and as he finished the last of his food, he hoped maybe they could make some excuse to leave soon, glad that it looked like he might escape without having to either make conversation or come across as unbearably rude.

  His relief was short lived, though, because Jennifer turned to him and said, “Your dad tells me you play football.”

  Daniel looked up, meeting Jennifer’s brown eyes, wondering what this young woman who couldn’t be more than twenty-five was doing with his dad. Was she looking for a sugar daddy? Or did she have a fetish for black men?

  “Daniel.” His dad’s voice, low and tight, interrupted his musings. “Jennifer asked you a question.”

  Letting out a sigh, Daniel sat back in his chair and wiped his mouth with his napkin, shaking his head in a quick negative. “Not anymore. The season ended last weekend. I’m student teaching next fall, so I won’t have time to play.”

  Jennifer made a sympathetic face. “Oh, that’s too bad. Your dad told me how much you played growing up. He seemed to think you might try to play professionally. He mentioned one of your former teammates got drafted last year?”

  Daniel let his eyes drift to his father, irritated that the man felt the need to tell everyone that. It had gotten worse since Watkins got drafted last year, especially since he’d overheard Coop saying something about registering for the Regional Combines if he didn’t get scouted. Daniel shook his head. “Yeah, Watkins did well in the Combines and got drafted. There were some scouts at a few of our games, but none of them have contacted me. And I’ve always planned on getting my degree and becoming a math teacher. Probably coach, too.”

  “Oh, that sounds wonderful.” Jennifer gave him a bright smile. “Teachers are so important.”

  Something about the way she was trying so hard irked him. And before he could stop himself, he jerked his chin up in her direction. “What about you?”

  Her brows crinkled. “What do you mean?”

  He gestured between him and Marcus with his hand. “Well, you’ve heard all about what Marcus and I want to be when we grow up. What about you?”

  Her cheeks turned pink, and Daniel felt like an ass even before his dad stood and said, “That’s enough, Daniel.”

  Daniel stood, too. He looked at Jennifer and tried to give her an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. That was rude of me. I probably won’t see you again, so it was nice meeting you. Good luck with him. If he offers to buy you expensive gifts, let him. Might as well get what you can while you can, right?”

  “Daniel!” His dad’s face was thunderous, but he was beyond caring.

  “Come on, Marcus. Let’s go.”

  Marcus looked pissed, but he stood and followed him back to the living room where they got their coats.

  Their dad came after them. “Don’t you leave. You owe me an apology.”

  Daniel met his dad’s eyes, trying to keep his expression as bland as possible. “The only thing I owe you is time on the holidays. You get that in exchange for paying for college and my car. We came. We ate. And now we’re leaving.”

  He steered Marcus out the door, their dad spluttering in their wake. But he didn’t care. He couldn’t keep up the pretense anymore.

  Marcus waited until they were back in the car before he spoke. “Why are you being such an asshole?”

  Daniel didn’t answer. He hadn’t told Marcus about anything that happened this semester. And he didn’t want to spill his guts now.

  When it became obvious that he wasn’t going to answer, Marcus crossed his arms and faced the window, muttering something about Daniel needing to get laid.

  He holed himself up in his room the rest of that night. He knew Marcus would tell Mom what happened at their dad’s. He also knew his mom would corner him and make him talk before he went back to school.

  She waited until the next evening, after they’d eaten Thanksgiving dinner (for the second time for him and Marcus) and cleaned up the kitchen. He sat watching football in the living room. Marcus was somewhere else. He didn’t know where, nor did he much care.

  His mom came in, two plates in hand, each with a slice of chess pie. His stomach twisted when he saw it, the memory of Elena making him the same pie rising unbidden. What had once been his favorite pie now had too many other associations. But he accepted the plate, not wanting to hurt his mom’s feelings. The sweet custard filling tasted like ashes and sawdust.

  She took a bite,
watching him as he set the fork back down on the plate after his first bite. “What’s wrong, baby? You still too full for pie? Normally you want it as soon as we’re done eating dinner.”

  Setting the pie on the coffee table, he shook his head. “I just don’t feel like pie right now.”

  His mom fixed him with a glare. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” She pointed at him with her fork. “You haven’t been yourself since you got home. Marcus told me what happened yesterday. Now, I know your dad’s not your favorite person, and you get annoyed at his constant lineup of girlfriends, but I know I raised you better than to treat people like that. What’s going on with you?”

  He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. “You remember that girl I met on my trip at the beginning of the summer? Elena?”

  She nodded, eating her pie, staying quiet so he could spill his guts. And he did. He told her everything, how he started spending time with Elena at the beginning of the semester, her dad’s accident, how he wanted to be there for her, make everything alright again.

  His mom listened, the way she always had, making encouraging sounds when appropriate, but not saying anything, waiting until he’d finished.

  She cocked her head to one side, scraping the last of the custard off her plate with the edge of her fork. “Now, one thing I don’t understand is why that girl and all her problems makes you not want my pie.” Her perceptive brown eyes met his. “Can you tell me that?”

  He let out a low chuckle, not expecting that question first, but not entirely surprised. “Elena bakes when she’s stressed. Pies. She offered to make me one, whatever kind I wanted. I asked for a chess pie. Mom, her pie’s almost as good as yours. And now when I see it I think of her.”

  Narrowing her eyes, she stared at him. “Baby, you better get over that, because that’s my favorite pie. And yours too. So you’re going to be eating chess pie at Thanksgiving and Christmas for as long as I’m around. Don’t let some girl ruin our family traditions.”