A Four Letter Word

by Michelle Lee

  I get up from behind my desk and walk over to stand in front of him.

  "So," I begin.

  "So, are you gonna go?" he asks, his voice wavering. If I didn't know any better, I would think Griffin thinks I could possibly say no.

  As if.

  "I definitely wanna go," I easily tell him. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

  His eyes lift up, and blue sapphire sparkles and twinkles in almost utter disbelief. A puff of air escapes him as relief washes over his features. Griffin wraps his arms around my waist, his hands rest on the small of my back, and he pulls me to him. I oblige without hesitation.

  "Perfect. I can't imagine spending New Year's without my girlfriend." Griffin's eyes quickly widen, and he appears to be holding his breath.

  "Girlfriend, huh?" I question, hoping he notices the hint of teasing in my voice.

  Griffin pulls away minutely. "Shit, Zoey, I'm sorry…I just…I mean…I thought…fuck…I've gone and ruined…didn't I? Fuck…"

  And before he can form a complete sentence or attempt to, I kiss him full force, hoping to convey to him just how hearing him call me his girlfriend makes me feel. Griffin is stunned at first, but within seconds, his lips begin to move with mine. The kiss deepens, and our tongues seek out each other. My mind swirls, and the ache pounds—relentlessly. Both of us soon need to come up for air, and reluctantly we pull apart.

  "So, you're okay with…" Griffin begins, but I immediately interrupt him.

  "I am beyond okay to spend New Year's with my boyfriend." I nudge him, hopefully driving home my point.

  Griffin's beautiful smile pulls at his lips before they find mine again. The word boyfriend rolls around in my head, and it's never sounded so good.

  ****

  Ashlee sent over my dress for Geoffrey and Patrick's party. She begged me to let her come over and help me to get ready, but I told her I was more than capable of getting ready myself. Halloween was one thing—tonight's attire I can totally handle. My hair is in loose curls flowing down my back. My eyes are smoky, while the rest of my make-up is subtle: just a few sweeps of a pink blush across the apples of my cheeks and a shimmering gloss on my lips. My blue eyes look huge, dark and dare I say extremely sexy.

  Apparently, the theme for the evening is "sparkly," so I am wearing a sequined, very short, silver, long-sleeved dress. Or shirt. I don't think it could really qualify as a dress. Ashlee swears it's a dress—I have my doubts. She mentioned something when she called to tell me about it—that it's the same one Rhianna wore one time, or maybe it was J Lo? I have a hard time following the fashion trail.

  Anyway, I'm wearing this dress or shirt, and even though it's short—too short, shorter than anything I've ever worn—my legs look long and lean. Thanks again to Helga and her lunges of torture. And I look, well, for lack of a better word, amazing. I was worried when I first saw it, that I would look like a disco ball—so not the case. I actually love it. Of course, I won't let Ashlee know just how much I do. One last glance in the mirror, and I'm ready.

  Griffin was going to come and pick me up, but I told him it wasn't necessary. Why should he trek all the way to my place, when the party is a few doors down from his place? I told him I would just meet him there. He wasn't too happy, but after a long kiss, he acquiesced. It seems my kisses have magical powers. Little does he know his have the same power over me as well. If he had continued to push the issue of coming to get me, his lips would have had me eventually saying yes. Those lips. Those totally kissable soft lips. I can’t wait to kiss him at midnight. Or at eleven or ten or any other time on the clock. I grab my coat and clutch and lock up. Tonight should be one on the best New Year's I've had in a long while.

  ****

  I hear the music before the elevator doors open. When they finally do, I am awestruck. Geoffrey and Patrick have really outdone themselves. But, honestly I shouldn't be surprised. Halloween was spectacular, and New Year's shouldn't be any different. The hall is…well…it's like I've just climbed out of a cab smack dag in the middle of Times Square. Instead of neon lights flashing advertisements, everything is covered in glitter. It's almost as if a glitter bomb exploded, covering everything.

  Geoffrey and Patrick must have a good rapport with their neighbors, because I can't imagine mine being so accommodating. But then again, being invited to one of the hottest parties in town is a great compromise.

  I make my way down the hall, very eager to get inside—not only to see what their apartment looks like, but to see Griffin. I think tonight will be the night. I can't imagine starting the New Year off any other way. My toothbrush is safely tucked inside my clutch. I thought about bringing a bigger bag, but I didn't want to come off as…well…a complete slut or just assume that I could spend the night. He probably wouldn't have seen it that way, but still, I couldn't bring myself to pack an overnight bag. Ashlee would say I'm being ridiculous. Good thing I didn't mention it to her. After all, it didn’t take her long to pack an overnight bag when it came to Collin.

  The music pulses through the door. It looks like it's actually breathing because of the vibration. The door practically opens on its own, and I am greeted with a very scantily dressed man with silver hair and skin. He has long, silver, fluttering, feather-like lashes. He bows, holding a silver tray out to me with the usual flair required for a New Year's Eve party. I grab a noise maker and thank him. He simply smiles and turns into a statue, I guess waiting for the next guest to arrive.

  I take my coat off, and like Halloween, a glittery girl comes and takes it, handing me my ticket. Geoffrey and Patrick leave nothing out. The place is alive. It's just after ten, and it's packed. I can't help but wonder how many friends these two have? And I guess they don't do anything small. I make my way through, my eyes scanning for a sign of anyone I might know. Ashlee appears of out nowhere. "It's about time you got here." She hugs me. She releases me and holds me at arm's length.

  Here we go.

  "Can I pick 'em, or can I pick 'em. You look amazing, Zoey. Absolutely stunning. Griffin is going to die when he sees you. I told you this dress was the one. Again, never doubt…"

  "Your mad skills. I know, I know. When will I learn?" I finish for her.

  She smiles. "Exactly."

  I eye her. She looks like she just stepped out of the pages of Cosmopolitan or something.

  "Ashlee, you look…" I begin, having a hard time finding the right word.

  "I know," she replies, her smiling taking over her delicate features.

  "I'm sure you do. Did you come here with…" I begin, but as always, Ashlee has a knack for knowing what I'm going to say. It's almost as if she's psychic or something.

  "Yes, Collin came with me. And…" she starts, but then I notice her smile widens and she has this mischievous glint in her eyes.

  Before I can ask her what is going on, I feel arms wrap around my waist and warm breath on my neck.

  "Hi, beautiful. I was wondering when you were going to get here," Griffin's voice whispers in my ear. His lips graze my ear's shell, sending shivers everywhere.

  I lean into him, relishing the way my body molds with his. It's almost like we were meant to fit together. I turn, wanting to get a good look at him, and when I do, my mouth practically hangs open. Griffin looks utterly edible.

  He's wearing charcoal gray dress pants with a periwinkle dress shirt and a silver silk tie. A black suit jacket completes the outfit. Similar to Ashlee, he looks like he just walked out of the pages of GQ.

  How did I get so lucky?

  "You don't look half bad yourself," I tease, reaching up on my tip toes to kiss him. Even with heels on, he's still slightly taller than me.

  Instead of the quick kiss I intended, Griffin wraps his arms around me, his right hand snaking up my back until it is gently cradling my head. His lips are on my mine, or mine are on his. I'm not really sure who initiated the kiss first. Our lips move together in sync, heat building between us. My tongue sweeps his bottom lip, and he parts his lips. Our tongues
dance, twist, and mingle. He tastes minty. My insides are on fire, the dull ache making itself known between my legs.

  Tonight, definitely tonight.

  A throat clears itself. Shit, I totally forgot about Ashlee standing there. Griffin has a way of making me forget everyone and everything, except for him. Reluctantly, we pull away, both of us blushing like two teenagers being caught making out.

  "Sorry," we say in unison.

  "Oh, hot stuff, don't be sorry on our account, I was just about to start selling tickets. You two are hot to watch," Patrick teases. When did he show up? I swear for being usually loud, Patrick has a way of being really quiet and can sneak up on a person. I suddenly feel even more embarrassed having groped Griffin like I did. It was one thing when it was just Ash, but now I had just put a show on for Patrick and when there’s a Patrick, a Geoffrey is close by as well. I bury my head into Griffin's chest to hide, and can't help but take a sniff. He smells all soapy and spicy and all man. I am so going to attack him later tonight. So glad I packed my toothbrush.

  "Patrick, leave the two need-to-do-the-nasty-like-right-now kids alone," Geoffrey adds. I knew he was close by.

  "Sorry, Sweetness," Patrick apologizes.

  "It's okay," Griffin tells them.

  I want to hide in his jacket. Yep, just crawl right up into the inside pocket and surround myself with Griffin and never come up unless he wants to play with me. Gah, I so need to be with him tonight.

  "Zoey, let us get a look at you," Geoffrey insists, pulling me away from Griffin. So much for hiding. He gives me a quick twirl, almost making me fall. Lord knows exactly why I'm not named Grace.

  "Yum, yum, yum. Honey, if I swung the other way or ever decide to, which is highly unlikely, I would definitely take you for a ride. You look dazzling," Geoffrey compliments.

  "Thanks," I reply, feeling my cheeks heat up.

  "Ash, perfect choice. J Lo beware, Zoey Richards rocks the dress way better," Patrick adds.

  Ashlee beams like she's a proud mama. "Like there was ever a doubt."

  "Never," Geoffrey and Patrick reply together.

  "Okay, party people, enjoy, mingle, drink," Geoffrey starts.

  "Yes, by all means drink. Try a New Year's Ball Drop—it's to die for," Patrick adds, licking his lips. For some reason, I can't shake the strong feeling he's talking about something other than the drink.

  "Later's people." And just as stealthily as they arrived, Geoffrey and Patrick leave.

  "Well, that was…" I start.

  "Interesting," Griffin finishes.

  I smile up at him. It's amazing how we are both just right there.

  "Come on, let's dance," Ashlee demands, pulling myself and Griffin through the crowd to the dance floor. In an instant, Collin is at her side and the four of us start our New Year's together, dancing.

  ****

  I'm not sure when, but Nina, Brett, and Evan arrive sometime during the night. I knew Geoffrey and Patrick had invited them, but I wasn’t so sure if they would all show up. Nina was the mastermind behind getting Brett, more so than Evan, to come. I can’t imagine spending a New Year’s without any of them. I don’t think I have since I was in high school. I notice when they arrive Evan seems a little off. I don't get my usual New Year's hello, but I guess that's because I'm with Griffin. I know Evan still doesn't like him, but at least he's being civil. For now.

  There's something different between us. I feel as though my best friend is slipping away. I had really hoped when I started seeing Griffin that this wouldn't happen. But it is, and I don't like it. I need to fix this between us and am not sure how. I thought once we had our little talk and I told him how he hurt me and all that everything would go back to normal; so much for normal. Things have been a little strained between us. I mean we used to tell each other everything and if we didn’t see each other almost every day we would at least talk to each other on the phone to just check in. But those gatherings and calls have been few and far between. I just miss him and I’m not sure how to balance what I have with Evan and what I have and want with Griffin. There has to be a happy median, right? Hopefully with a new year there can be a fresh start with him and Griffin. My best friend and my boyfriend should get along. Right?

  A part of me does feel bad for Evan, though. He's here tonight all alone. I wonder if it's by choice. I can't imagine him not being able to find a date. He has no problem in that department. I've watched girls—women—come and go. The seven of us have gravitated together on the dance floor. My toes are crying out from all the dancing. Thank God that Ashlee has had enough dancing as well. I don't think my poor feet could take anymore. Several conversations are going on, and I notice Evan is not enjoying himself I've attempted to engage him several times, but he just gives me a few words and then that's that. Something is up, and I just wish he would let me know.

  "I'm gonna go and get another drink, you want anything?" Griffin whispers in my ear.

  "No, I'm good," I whisper back in his.

  He kisses me, hard and deep, before leaving. I look up and notice Evan staring at me, and he quickly turns away. Apparently, the label on his bottle has become interesting. I go to say something but get interrupted by our party hosts.

  "Well, well, well, isn't this a sexy bunch of people," Patrick teases.

  I see Brett immediately go rigid. Evan too.

  "Dr. You-Can-Bend-Me-Over, I think I might need my temperature taken later as the countdown approaches. Could you help me with that?" Patrick taunts Brett.

  "Um…I…uh…" Brett goes white a ghost, his hand nervously working his neck.

  "Oh, Boo, give the poor Doc a break. He's off the cock, I mean clock tonight," Geoffrey says matter-of-fact.

  Brett turns even whiter. "I really need another drink," he chokes out after he guzzles down the last of his beer and high tails it. The rest of us just laugh as he bolts. I don't think I've ever seen Brett move so fast. Then, like two cats on the prowl, Geoffrey and Patrick turn to Evan. Evan puffs up his chest and cricks his neck. It's like he's preparing for battle.

  "Nice to see you and all your glory, Tarzalicious. Even though that shirt makes your hazel eyes look like…well, let's just say I need me a spoon to eat you with because those greenish, sparkling eyes of yours are doing things to the bulge in my pants. I wish you were in that barely-there loin cloth of yours. Although I love the idea of undressing you with my eyes," Patrick challenges.

  Evan's complexion mirrors Brett's, but then he composes himself and a huge-ass smile commands his lips. He leans into Patrick. "Oh, don't you worry. That loin cloth is in my back pocket. I was just waiting to get you alone so you'd be the only one seeing it. I thought a more intimate setting and some alone time swinging from my vine is just what the doctor ordered," Evan says to Patrick, his voice raspy.

  The rest of us stand, first in shock and then wait on the edge of our seats, if we were sitting down, for Patrick's reaction. Patrick gulps. Then he smiles brightly, a twinkle in his eye. "Oooo, this one is a keeper. I knew there was a reason I liked you. We so have to introduce you to Skye." He gives Evan a wink and hips him.

  We all laugh, Evan and Patrick harder than anyone else. Evan moves away from Patrick and stands next to me. He looks down at me and proudly smiles.

  "Good job," I comment.

  "Thanks," he replies, winking.

  I feel like things are slowly turning into the way they should. My best friend is slowly but surely making an appearance.

  "Ooo, Skye. She'd be perfect. Yes, we need to introduce them," Geoffrey adds.

  Who is Skye?

  Geoffrey's eyes flash above my head, and he gets this devilish smirk on his face. What—is Skye floating above me and Evan—hovering like some flying vampire?

  "Oh, my…look what we have here," Geoffrey says out of nowhere, waving like he's Vanna White to me and Evan.

  Evan and I look at each other, completely dumbfounded.

  "Look up, you two," Geoffrey advises.

  When we look up, w
e see what Geoffrey is referring to—mistletoe, dangling above our heads.

  "Oh, busted. You so have to kiss. It's the rules. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. You don't want to tempt fate and start of the New Year with bad luck, do you? Hmmm? Griffin, you don't mind, right?" Patrick smiles like the Chesire cat.

  I then feel Griffin behind me. "Mind what?"

  "Oh, that these two share a mistletoe kiss. It's not biggie, right?" Geoffrey asks—sort of—it's more like he's telling.

  Griffin looks confused as he looks between me and Evan. "Um, sure…I guess not…"

  "Griffin, I don't have to…" I begin.

  "Oh, don't worry, Zo, what's a little kiss amongst friends? I mean, come on, really, it would be like kissing your…um…your brother, right?"

  Brother?

  Brother, right. Evan's my brother, in a round-about way, I guess. For some reason, that doesn't resonate well inside me. Brother. Okay, brother. I'm gonna kiss my brother. No big deal. What's one little kiss; a quick peck is all it will be. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

  Griffin leans in and whispers in my ear, "It's okay, Zoey. It's just one kiss. I don't mind, really." I wonder who Griffin is trying to convince more, me or himself.

  "Scared, Richards?" Evan teases.

  Oh, he is so not going to scare me off.

  "Nope. Not at all. You?"

  "Nah, it would be like kissing my mom, really."

  I can't believe he said that. Two can play this game. "Okay, Dad."

  He chuckles.

  I feel all eyes on us. Like they are waiting for it more than we are. My heart begins to beat a little faster as we turn towards each other. "It's just one little kiss," I say to no one in particular.

  "Just a mistletoe kiss. No biggie," Evan says as he leans in closer to me.

  I feel his warm breath fan across my face—a mixture of beer and spice and Evan. As if in slow motion, we lean into each other and finally our lips meet. His lips are so soft, as if they are made from velvet. At first, our lips just touch, but then I feel his hand grab mine and our fingers intertwine. And our lips start to move against each other—it deepens. My heart takes off. On their own volition, my lips slightly part, and he takes my bottom lip into his mouth. I am so not kissing my brother. I am kissing Evan. I am kissing my best friend. I am kissing him and he's kissing me back. I feel my heart crack open a fraction, and all I've felt for him over the years starts to trickle out. Does he feel it too? There is something more to this kiss than simply a mistletoe kiss, demanded by friends. This is more. And it's exceeding any expectations I may have had when I dreamt of kissing him all those times. No words can describe how it feels, other than otherworldly. I am kissing Evan. I want to keep kissing Evan—forever. Someone clears their throat. We break apart.