Out of Sight

by Michelle Celmer

He held her gaze for a few seconds more, then headed for the buffet to fix himself a plate. She forced herself to keep her head down, eyes on her food. Just because he’d looked at her, it didn’t mean he’d been looking for her. It didn’t mean he wanted to sit with her, and she didn’t want to encourage him by making eye contact again. He’d already caught her staring at him far too many times.

  She took another bite of pasta but had trouble swallowing past the knot of anxiety that had lodged itself in her throat—an almost giddy, nervous, excited feeling that didn’t want to go away.

  “Is this seat taken?”

  Abi looked up to find Will standing beside the table, gesturing to the seat beside her, and her heart began to beat double time. So he did want to sit with her. But was it a good idea? She didn’t want to be rude. It wasn’t his fault she had some sort of weird fascination with him.

  “Um, no,” she said, inviting him to sit.

  He pulled out the chair and sat down, so casual and at ease, she felt silly for feeling nervous. His hair was damp and he smelled like some sort of masculine soap. “How did the rest of the hike go this afternoon?”

  “It was good.” she said, trying to look not at him but at her food.

  “Looks like Eric has a new friend.”

  Abi followed the direction of Will’s gaze and saw Eric sitting across the room with Noah. Noah was gabbing away about something, his mouth moving a mile a minute. He’d been stuck to Eric’s side the second half of the hike and had followed him around like a lost puppy the rest of the afternoon. It had to be driving Eric crazy by now, but he sat quietly listening to Noah yammer on.

  As she’d suspected, he was a good kid at heart.

  “I was just in the office,” she told Will. “I didn’t see your name on the sign-up sheet.”

  He flashed that crooked grin. “Checking up on me, huh?”

  She refused to be rattled by his charm. “That’s my job.”

  “I said I would think about it.”

  “And?”

  He shrugged. “And I’m still thinking.”

  “Mommy!”

  Abi looked up to find Adam barreling toward her, his little legs carrying him as quickly as they could, followed by Renee, one of the junior counselors. As it always did, her heart filled with so much love and pride at the sight of his happy face she thought it might burst. She’d never truly learned to love until she’d become a mother. Until she’d felt her baby kick the first time. Until he was born and she’d gazed down into his perfect little face, counted all ten fingers and toes. It was then that she’d finally felt complete, as if she’d found her purpose.

  He was the only thing in the world that mattered to her now.

  Adam launched himself into her arms and she pulled him up in her lap, ruffling his short dark hair. “Hey, kiddo, did you have a good picnic?”

  “I made you a present!” Adam said, squirming excitedly. “Show her, Renee!”

  “Okay, okay,” Renee said with a laugh, handing Abi Adam’s latest creation—several Popsicle sticks glued together to form an abstract shape covered with blue and gold glitter. Some of it flaked off and landed on her plate.

  Renee cringed. “Sorry about that. He couldn’t wait to show you.”

  “It’s okay,” Abi told her.

  “Do you like it, Mommy?”

  “I love it, honey.” She gave Adam a big squeeze. “Thank you.”

  “Would you like me to take him back to the activity center while you finish your dinner?” Renee asked her.

  “That’s okay. I’m almost finished.”

  “Okay. See you tomorrow, Adam.” She turned and headed for the door.

  “Who are you?” Adam asked, and Abi realized he was talking to Will. If the look of surprise on Will’s face was any indication, he’d had no idea she had a child. Abi had found if there was one sure way to detract a man’s interest, it was to introduce him to her son. They couldn’t get away fast enough.

  In a small way she was disappointed—but relieved, too.

  “Adam, this is Mr. Bishop. He’s a guest here. Will, this is Adam, my son.”

  Will recovered from his surprise and flashed Adam a smile that for the most part looked genuine, then stuck out a hand for him to shake. “Nice to meet you, Adam.”

  Adam shook his hand, then cocked his head, giving Will a scrutinizing look. “Your face looks funny.”

  Abi cringed. “Adam, that’s not polite.”

  “It’s okay,” Will told her. “He’s right. It does look funny.”

  “You look like a villain,” Adam said.

  Will laughed. “A villain?”

  “He looks like a bad guy. You know, like in a comic book.” He narrowed his eyes at Will. “You’re not a villain, are you?”

  Will laughed. “No, I’m definitely one of the good guys.”

  Satisfied with that, Adam turned to Abi. “Can I have a cookie?”

  “Just one,” she told him, giving his behind a playful swat as he hopped off her lap and darted for the buffet table. She turned to Will. “Sorry about that. Three-year-olds can be brutally honest.”

  “That’s okay. I didn’t know you had a son.”

  “You didn’t ask.”

  The corner of his mouth quirked up. “You’re right, I didn’t.”

  “If you want to leave, I won’t be offended.”

  He looked puzzled. “Leave?”

  “If you’d like to sit at another table.”

  “Why would I do that?”

  “It’s a natural reaction when men find out I have a son. They’re gone so fast they leave skid marks.”

  “I think you’ll find I’m not like most men.”

  She was getting that idea already. He was unlike any man she’d ever known. She couldn’t decide if that was a good or a bad thing.

  “The truth is, I like you, Abi. Your having a child doesn’t change that.”

  And there lies the problem, she thought. Because she liked him, too. They would both be better off if he’d seen her son and made a run for it.

  She gazed around nervously, hoping no one was hearing their conversation. No one seemed to be paying any attention to them. “Will, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

  He took a bite of his pasta and wiped his mouth with his napkin. “You don’t think what is a good idea?”

  “This. Us. It’s against retreat policy for a staff member to become…involved with a guest.”

  “Involved?”

  “I think you know what I mean.”

  He flashed a grin that bordered on bashful. “Yes, Abi, I’m attracted to you, but I’m not here looking for a relationship. It’s the last thing on my mind.”

  She couldn’t help feeling a little warm and fuzzy knowing Will found her attractive. She’d suspected, but to hear him come right out and say it validated her somehow. It had been a long time since any man had regarded her in a sexual way.

  Despite her efforts to look as unappealing as possible to the opposite sex, Will saw something in her, something deeper than physical beauty. Something she hadn’t even known was there—and probably hadn’t been four years ago. She’d changed so much since then.

  The fact that he was as wary of his feelings toward her as she was about her feelings toward him made her less uncomfortable. “I appreciate your honesty,” she told him.

  “What about friendship? Is that against the rules, too?”

  She’d never really thought about it. She’d formed very tight bonds with some of the kids and a few superficial relationships with adult guests in the past—mostly the women. It wasn’t something she avoided or encouraged. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.

  The only problem was, nothing about her encounters with Will felt superficial.

  “I’ve always considered myself a likable guy, but if you don’t want to be friends with me, if I’ve offended you somehow—”

  “No, it’s not that. I just…” She clasped her hands on the table. “I’ve just had some bad experiences wit
h men in the past. I guess you could say that I’m jaded.”

  Will laid his hand over both of hers, and a jolt of sensation shot up her arms. She had to fight not to yank them away. How could such a simple touch make her feel so deeply aware? Aware of the blood pulsing through her veins as her heartbeat quickened, aware of the slow rise of heat from her breasts, up her throat and into her face. Aware that no man had ever touched her so innocently yet so deeply.

  “The truth is,” he said, “I’ve had some pretty lousy experiences with women in the past. Maybe it could be therapeutic for both of us.”

  To imagine that he was as vulnerable as she was eased her concerns, if only a little. And he made a good point. Maybe this wouldn’t be such a bad thing. It had been so long since she’d trusted a man. Maybe a friendship with Will would be good for her. Maybe she could put the last of her ghosts to rest and feel like a whole person again. And maybe it would be good for Adam to get to know him. To teach him that despite having a disfigurement, Will was like everyone else.

  On the surface anyway. To her, he was unlike any man she’d ever known.

  “What do you say?” Will asked. “Friends?”

  His smile was so charming, his friendliness so contagious and the hopeful look in his eyes so endearing, she could hardly tell him no.

  “Yes,” she agreed. “I guess we could be friends.”

  Will smiled, feeling only slightly guilty. But he hadn’t lied to her, hadn’t misled her in any way. He did want to be her friend. He just hadn’t been forthcoming about his reasons.

  She’d been right about one thing. In a normal situation if he discovered a woman he’d taken out had a kid, her number landed in the nearest trash can. Not that he didn’t like kids. After Ryan died, he’d tried to spend as much time as he could with his kids, to fill the void of losing their father at least a little. They’d grown to consider him an uncle, until their mother had remarried last year and he’d felt uncomfortable coming around. Her new husband was a good guy and needed a chance to bond with the kids, so Will had made himself scarce. It had surprised him how much he’d missed them.

  But since he had no plans to take another trip down the aisle, he liked to keep his relationships with women as uncomplicated as possible. That was tough when there were kids involved. If they got attached, it was one more person to hurt after the relationship had run its course.

  Unfortunately this time it was unavoidable. Not that he was planning on getting involved with Abi on anything but a friendly level. He didn’t have time for emotional entanglements, not with so much at stake. Besides, with the exception of amiable working relationships with a few female agents, he’d never been simply friends with a woman. Not that he’d intentionally avoided friendships with women. Maybe it was a side effect of being raised by a man who’d viewed women as second-class citizens.

  Will’s father, an Army drill sergeant, had had no respect for Will’s mom—or any woman, for that matter. He had run the household like an army barrack. And though he’d never laid a hand on her—he’d saved that for his son—his words had done more damage than any fist in the gut. His put-downs and insults had connected harder, stung deeper than any slap across the face.

  And though Will was ashamed to admit it, as hard as he’d tried to be different from his old man, he’d carried a few of his old habits into his own marriages. He had no patience for the whims of the opposite sex.

  He didn’t doubt that if he’d made a lousy husband, he’d make an even worse father. Even if he didn’t mean to.

  “Well, I should get Adam home.” Abi stood and dropped her napkin on the table. “I guess I’ll see you around.”

  He noticed she’d barely touched her food. Not that it looked all that appetizing with a glitter garnish.

  He had half a notion to offer to walk her back to her cabin and then maybe invite himself in for an after-dinner drink, but he didn’t want to push his luck and make her suspicious. He had to take this slowly.

  He looked up at her and smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

  “Probably.”

  He watched her cross the room and collect her son, stopping briefly to chat with a few guests. Then she shot him a glance and a vague smile before she disappeared through the dining room door. She sometimes looked so wary, like a frightened mouse. Other times she was startlingly direct.

  It puzzled him.

  He had the feeling there was more to this woman than met the eye. And as with any good mystery, he felt the insatiable need to solve it.

  Chapter 5

  “Eric, could you give me a hand over here?” Abi called from the woodpile by the maintenance building.

  Eric ambled over from where he stood alone watching the other kids play volleyball. Since that first time he’d helped her out with Noah two days ago, she’d been asking small favors here and there, and gradually Eric was beginning to open up to her. Just a few casual words, but it was a start. She only wished he would open up to the other kids, realize that they had the same feelings he did and that it was okay to talk about it. That it would probably make being here so much easier.

  “What do you need?” he asked.

  “I need a couple of cartsful of wood hauled down to the beach for the bonfire Friday night. Would you mind helping me?”

  He shrugged, which she took as his way of saying yes, and together they started piling wood into the cart.

  Movement a few feet away caught her attention, and she looked up to see Leanne casually stroll past. A warm, gentle summer breeze tousled her shoulder-length brown hair as she gazed at the sky, the trees, the lake shimmering in the afternoon sun. Everywhere but the one place Abi knew she was aching to look—at Eric.

  Where you found Eric, Leanne wasn’t far away looking lovesick and wistful.

  Leanne stopped and crouched down to tie a tennis-shoe lace that Abi was pretty sure hadn’t come loose. The poor kid was just begging to be noticed.

  As far as Abi could tell, Leanne hadn’t yet worked up the courage to speak to Eric. Abi could only hope that if and when Leanne did, Eric would be receptive to her.

  She turned to him and nearly dropped a log on her foot when she realized he was watching Leanne.

  Interesting.

  Maybe all they needed was a little push, someone to get the ball rolling. But how? What could she do so the whole thing didn’t feel like a setup? She gazed around, searching for a reason to leave the two of them alone, and found it. He was walking toward her from the direction of the main building, his hands tucked casually into his shorts pockets, looking tanned and healthy and—heaven help her—good enough to eat.

  And his timing couldn’t have been better.

  “Will,” she said, giving him a bright smile. “You must be here to discuss that thing we talked about the other day.”

  His brow wrinkled with confusion. “Thing?”

  “You know, that thing we were discussing during dinner.” She widened her eyes, hoping he would get the message. “I could spare a few minutes right now if you have time.”

  “Oh, that. Right.” He still looked confused but played along. “Yeah, now would be great.”

  She turned to Eric. “I’m sorry to dump this on you. I just need to talk to Mr. Bishop for a few minutes.”

  Eric gave her his “whatever” shrug and kept tossing logs onto the cart.

  She looked over at Leanne, who was still crouched a few yards away and appeared to have found something of great interest in the grass. “Leanne, could you come over here?”

  Leanne jerked to her feet and turned to Abi. When she saw Eric looking at her, her eyes instantly lowered to the ground. She walked over to where they stood. “Yeah, Abi?”

  “Could you help Eric load the cart with wood and take it down to the fire pit?”

  “Okay,” Leanne said softly, eyes still downcast, her face ten different shades of red.

  “Two loads should cover it,” Abi said, figuring that would give them time to get acquainted, then decided, what t
he heck? “On second thought, why don’t you make that four? And don’t forget about group therapy at three sharp.”

  She walked away from the maintenance building, Will at her side. When they were out of hearing range he said, “I take it you don’t really have something to discuss with me.”

  “Nope.”

  “You’re not matchmaking, are you?”

  “Matchmaking is such a misleading word,” she said. “I was…”

  “Meddling?”

  She shot him an exasperated look. “No. Neither is taking the initiative to meet the other.”

  He nodded. “I see. So you’re doing it for them?”

  “Kind of.”

  He looked down at her and grinned. “Like I said, you’re meddling.”

  She smiled back. “Yeah, okay, maybe a little.”

  “In that case, I guess we should at least try to look like we have something to discuss.” They walked slowly alongside each other.

  “So what’s the deal with those two?” he asked, nodding toward Eric and Leanne.

  “He’s so withdrawn and she’s so shy. I thought they might understand each other. Sometimes if a kid has a friend to talk to, he or she is more likely to open up during group therapy.”

  “You really push the therapy, don’t you?”

  “Of course. It’s an integral part of the retreat.”

  “Retreat…therapy.” He shook his head. “I don’t know, the two just don’t seem synonymous. When I think of a retreat, I think of relaxing—a vacation. How relaxed can you be when someone is shrinking your head?”

  “You shouldn’t knock something until you try it,” she said.

  He slipped his hands into the pockets of his shorts and his elbow brushed against her arm. It was a completely innocent move, but it made her realize just how close they were walking and she casually moved away. What would the staff think if they saw her so cozy with a guest? Not that bumping elbows was considered cozy. Maybe she was just being paranoid again.

  “So what about the activities?” Will asked. “What are they supposed to do for the kids?”

  “The idea is that through the activities we give them positive, happy memories to connect to what could otherwise be a very difficult time.”