Slow Satisfaction

by Cecilia Tan

Why didn’t you shut off my phone?

  Have you had your heart broken (before)?

  “Karina,” he said. “I’ve answered nearly all of these now. The only one we haven’t touched on is… well… what drew me to glass art.”

  I scanned the list. “Well, nearly all is not the same as all.”

  He gave me a quick kiss. “Yes, I’m proud of you for turning in Renault. I didn’t shut off your phone because I couldn’t actually bring myself to cut you off when I knew I’d made a huge mistake.”

  “And the heartbreak question?”

  “Oh, there was puppy love and disappointment but… I never let myself love someone enough to get my heart broken, Karina.” He kissed me again. “Until now, that is.”

  “Let’s talk about glass later,” I said. “I’d rather make out than get a question answered.”

  His answer was another kiss that went straight to my soul.

  Fifteen

  Nothing Seems to Make a Dent

  Ferrara waited twenty-four hours before she made her next move. By then Chandra had located the marriage license and it looked, unfortunately, legit, right down to James’s signature.

  We were gathered around the table in the suite, James, me, Stefan, Chandra, and Ty, who I had been seeing around but hadn’t really gotten to talk to, looking at the copy of the license.

  Chandra gave James a stern look. “You’re absolutely sure she didn’t slip you a roofie and take you off to get married at one of those drive-through places?”

  “If I had any blackouts I think I’d at least remember that,” James snapped. “More likely this is a forgery. My signature isn’t that difficult to fake, and she has it on my recording contract. She could have copied it from there.”

  “Or got you to sign this when you didn’t know what it was?” I asked.

  “What, like signing my room service bill? I have a different signature for that.”

  Of course you do, I thought.

  “What about the witnesses on the certificate?” Stefan asked. “Who are these other two?”

  “Probably employees of the wedding chapel,” Ty pointed out.

  James shook his head. “And of course they don’t know what I look like. So they had no way to know she was marrying an impostor. Presumably someone she taught to forge my signature. For fuck’s sake.”

  Chandra shook her head, too. “I knew there had to be a drawback to total secrecy.”

  My phone chimed with a text then at the same time James’s rang. He picked his up as I checked my message.

  It was from Becky: OMG Karina have you seen the video? What is going on please call me ASAP!!!!!

  James was saying into the phone, “What video?”

  I called Becky immediately. “Becks, what’s up?”

  “Karina! Oh my God, I don’t know what to do. You know how I’m the webmaster of the NYC Lord’s Ladies website?”

  “No, but go on.”

  “Well, I am. Geri couldn’t do it anymore. But anyway, the reason I’m calling. Someone just sent us an anonymous video, and it’s freaky and scary.”

  “Let me guess. It’s of what looks like a woman being raped and whoever sent it is claiming it’s Lord Lightning.”

  “Yes! Have you seen it, too?”

  “Maybe. Can you send it to me?” I could hear her keyboard tapping in the background.

  “Done. So it’s fake, right?”

  “Becks, I haven’t seen it yet.”

  “Then how did you know?”

  “One thing at a time, okay? Let me look at it. I’ll call you back.”

  “Okay.”

  I hung up on her and then brought the video up on my phone.

  James was just hanging up the phone himself. “That was Paulina. Someone, presumably Ferrara, has sent her a video that sounds like the one you saw, Karina.”

  I put my phone down in the middle of the table. “Becky got it, too. Here it is.” I hit play.

  What played was a highly edited version of the ravishment scene with James and Vanette. It wasn’t until a minute or two in that a clear shot of his face appeared, and then it was pixelated over. Still, you could hear his voice quite clearly.

  “It’s fake, right?” Ty asked.

  “For at least some definitions of fake, yes,” James said. “That’s me, and the whole scene is consensual, but no one who sees this is going to believe that.”

  “Which is exactly why Ferrara is using it as blackmail,” Chandra said. “Did Paulina say if anyone else received it?”

  “It hasn’t appeared on any of the fan websites yet,” James said. “But Ferrara only just sent the thing out. Once they get over their shock, I’m sure some of them will post it.”

  “This was a warning shot, though,” I said. “She made it so that your face doesn’t clearly appear, but the implication is she could release the unedited version anytime. She’s trying to get you to cave.”

  He closed his eyes as he thought. “I can’t. I can’t do what she asks.”

  “There must be some way to stall her,” Ty said. “Until we can come up with a better plan.”

  “Let me talk to her,” I said.

  “No. I don’t want you anywhere near that poisonous snake,” James replied automatically. “Besides, what would you say to her?”

  “I don’t know. I’ll think of something.”

  James shook his head again. “No. Chandra, let’s get ready for spin control. The video is out there and we need—” He looked up suddenly, looking right at me. “I have an idea.”

  “Let’s hear it,” Chandra said.

  “It’s something I’d rather discuss with Karina first, alone,” James said, standing up.

  “You’re sure it’s that you just can’t wait to get into Karina’s pants again?” Chandra chided as she stood, too. “You’ve really got it bad if you can’t make it through a whole meeting.”

  Stefan and Ty were clearly trying to hide their smiles and were failing. They hurried out while Chandra sauntered, giving James a raised-eyebrow look.

  I stayed seated. Once the door closed behind them I copied the raised eyebrow. “Something to ask me in private?”

  He leaned on his knuckles on the table. “Yes. Though now that we’re alone, I’m tempted to tell you to get on my cock before we discuss any more.”

  “Yes, James,” I said, standing up and undoing the button on my jeans.

  “Now, now, I said I was tempted to. That’s different from telling you to.”

  I gave him a disappointed look. “All right. What’s the idea?”

  He narrowed his eyes. “You’re being very impatient tonight.”

  “Hey, I wasn’t the one who couldn’t make it through a whole meeting.”

  He grinned. “And impertinent. So mouthy. I think you had best come here and put that mouth to some better use.”

  I grinned back. So that was how it was going to be tonight. “Yes, James.”

  He settled himself in his chair again, a few feet back from the table. I stripped off my shirt and jeans but kept my undies on for now as I crawled over to him. I made a show of putting my hands behind my back and went to work on freeing James’s cock using only my mouth. His scent was intense and I drank it in like the heady perfume of an exotic flower.

  He was large enough that my jaw grew tired of sucking him quickly, but he didn’t let me go on too long. He lifted my chin with his fingers until I was looking in his eyes.

  “The idea is we pretend the video is part of a publicity campaign for the new show.” His grin was little more than the suggestion of a smirk, but the glint in his eye was predatory. “By tomorrow, everyone on the entire Internet will have seen that video and be talking about it. Then we make it seem as if we released it intentionally to get everyone buzzing. We could even follow it up with a video of our own.”

  “Aha. That’s a brilliant idea… and I take it the video of our own would include me?” I licked my lips. From where I knelt between his legs, I could see the spot under the poin
t of his chin where he had trouble shaving as closely as the rest of his face.

  “Yes. Which was why I wanted to ask you about it in private, so you wouldn’t feel put on the spot by the others.” He hefted his cock with one hand, keeping his grip on my chin with the other. “Though this is a nice side benefit.”

  “Chandra knew the second they left we were going to do something.”

  “Chandra is very observant.” James licked his own lips. “Reach into your panties and touch yourself.”

  I did as he asked while he still held my face tilted upward. He kissed me, my arousal deepening.

  “I’m not sure exactly what we’ll put in the video,” he said. “But you have an inkling, I imagine?”

  I spread my fingers apart and flicked my own clit. “Will it be more extreme than what we did at the 624 Gallery?”

  “Perhaps not, though having the audience of a piece of performance art see your bare ass is one thing. It’s a bit different to have it all over the Internet. So you should think it over before you agree.”

  “Hey, who says it’s my ass that’ll be bare in the video? You’re the sex symbol.”

  “True.” He stood, pulling me up until I was standing, too, my hand still working in my panties. “Hands behind your head.”

  He circled behind me and then reached around so that his hand replaced mine, and then continued talking to me as his fingers ran in slick circles over my clit. “What I haven’t told anyone yet is that this actually plays perfectly into my plans for the theme of the show.”

  I could only make a general sound of agreement as I tried to relax into his expert touch. But then he seemed to stop talking. “And that theme is?”

  “Well, I was thinking I’d explain it to the whole company in the morning at rehearsal.” He lightened his touch as I tightened, nearing my peak.

  “Does that mean you’re not going to tell me now?”

  “How about I give you a choice? Which would you rather have delayed, your orgasm, or finding out about the show? You can have one now and one tomorrow.”

  “Oh, you’re evil. Ah, fuck.” I was too close now and didn’t have the willpower to stop. “Make me come, please, James? Please, oh, God.”

  “Gladly, sweetness, gladly.” He brought me off with one hand over my mouth, stifling my screams, while the other hand milked every last shiver of pleasure from my pussy he could wring, four or five orgasms in a row, until I was limp against him and gasping.

  “One more choice for you,” he murmured, as he shifted us to the edge of the bed. “Shall I come in your mouth tonight or your cunt?”

  “My… cunt.” I blushed intensely, trying to remember if I’d ever said the word out loud. When would I have had the chance? But it was easy to blurt out when I was this soaked in sex already. James wasted no time getting inside me, but once there, he slowly inserted himself with long, soothing strokes, in no hurry at all.

  The next morning he made good on his promise to explain what the show was about, although he and Alicia ran us through the number we’d been working on for an hour first. Then he gathered all the dancers in the VIP tables around the runway of the stage while he sat on the edge, his feet hanging down. He was in his dancing clothes, but wearing an Oxford shirt over them, unbuttoned like a jacket.

  “Thank you for being so patient with the artistic process,” he began. “The idea for this show struck me quite suddenly and putting all the pieces together has been an interesting challenge. Since the record company wants to release a greatest hits collection, I was looking for some way to incorporate several songs from the past into a single storyline, and add one or two new songs. As it turns out, what I’ve come up with could only be performed here in Las Vegas.”

  “Does it have a burlesque theme?” Annika asked brightly.

  “No, but good thought. It has a sort of futuristic bondage theme, hence the title, which is being revealed in the marketing campaign later this week: Bonded to the Black. The plot is simple enough. Dystopian future ruled by a master computer, which has divided people into the haves and have-nots. Nobles and serfs, or masters and slaves, if you will. Our two principals find each other. If the rigging can be done the way I want, it may end with the two of us literally flying off together. When they get together, she is elevated from mindless drudgery while he is liberated from his role as a cog in the machine.”

  “Kind of like The Matrix?” asked Pascual.

  James thought a moment. “Perhaps? I was actually inspired by a Kurt Vonnegut story. The production will have a bit of a Matrix-y appearance though, since we’ll be using a modern fetishwear look to key the metaphor of bondage. The underlying message is about consent and mutual respect being empowering.”

  Alicia raised her hand. “You mean ‘no means no’?”

  “And ‘yes means yes,’ ” James said. “Come to think of it, that might end up in the chorus of the finale. And on T-shirts. And on that note, if you’ll excuse me, now that the band is awake, I had better go and work with them.”

  He slipped away, while Alicia made an announcement about costume fittings and hairdresser appointments for that afternoon. After lunch we had to clear the stage for a while as some work that couldn’t be done at night had to happen on the sets, and the guitar player from the band came by with a tape for Alicia of all seventeen songs that would be in the production. Only six would have the full complement of dancers, including the opening overture and the finale, and two others would have a small ensemble of me, Annika, Ben, Pascual—and James.

  I had my costume fitting early in the afternoon and then was sitting around listening to the tape with some of the others when I got another text from Becky.

  Another video. This one’s worse. Or better. Depending on how you look at it.

  I excused myself from the group. From a stall in the women’s room I texted James to let him know, and then I put my headphones in and texted Becky back. A few minutes later I was watching a video.

  She was right. This one wasn’t as “bad” in that there was no fake rape. No. It was a shaky, grainy cell phone video taken at what was clearly a Las Vegas wedding chapel. Ferrara holding the phone and pointing it at herself as she primped her miniature veil and mugged for the camera, then pointing it quickly at her tall, blond groom.

  At a glance it sure looked like James. But the camera never focused on his face except as it tried to capture the actual kiss after the vows, and then it was Ferrara’s face we could make out, not his.

  The entire ceremony couldn’t have been more than five minutes long, and this was an edit of it.

  A text came from James. Have you seen it?

  I texted back. Yes. It’s of Ferrara and someone who looks a lot like you getting married in a Vegas wedding chapel.

  James’s sarcasm came through, even in a text: Gee, I wonder where she would find someone who looked just like me for her charade? Tell Ben and Pascual I need to meet with you all. I’ll be there shortly.

  Of course. I should have thought of Ben and Pascual myself!

  I went back into the green room and found Annika first. For half a second I couldn’t remember which name I was supposed to use for James. Not Jules… What was his dancer nickname? Jasper. Right. “Jasper wants a meeting with the small ensemble. Are Pascual and Ben here?”

  She looked around. “I just saw Ben go into the men’s room. Pascual might be outside the door?”

  “I’ll get Ben if you look for Pascual.”

  “Okay.”

  I caught Ben coming out of the restroom and led him back to the green room. Annika had Pascual in tow. We sat down together. My plan of having it look like it was about discussing the small ensemble pieces worked perfectly. Annika had no idea there was anything wrong, so she chatted away, keeping the other two fully engaged so they had no chance to notice I was a little distracted.

  When James came sweeping in, the first thing he did was kiss me on the cheek. Then he looked around at our little group. “I’ll talk to the boys first,” he
said, “but come with me in the car. Multitasking is my life.”

  If the two of them found this in any way odd, they didn’t let on. I peeked out the side door as they got into the car. Stefan was driving one of the larger limos today.

  Well, that would be an interesting ride, I was sure. If one of them was guilty, he certainly couldn’t run away easily. And the car was probably a lot harder to bug or eavesdrop on than a room like this one.

  When James hadn’t returned by the time we wrapped for the evening, I went back to the hotel in the van with the rest of the crew. Upstairs, Ty made a nightly check of our rooms to be sure no new surveillance devices had appeared. After he left, I checked my e-mail and then saw I had a video chat request from Becky.

  I joined the video chat to find Becky, Paulina, and Michel already in mid-chat.

  “Karina!” Becky exclaimed. “Oh my goodness, this is so exciting!”

  “Which thing is so exciting, Becks? Fill me in.”

  “Okay, so I’m all set to come out there and interview people for my thesis, right? And then Paul and Misha told me they were talking with him about spreading these videos around, and so I’m going to do these promo videos, too, while I’m there. I’m flying in tomorrow.”

  It took me a moment to realize that she wasn’t talking about the ravishment—or whatever it would be—video that James and I were planning to make. “Fantastic! I’ve really missed you, Becks. And there’s so much going on here.” So much that I haven’t been able to tell you over the phone or e-mail, that is.

  “And we’re going to come too, Karina, for the press conference and party,” Paulina said.

  “Is Las Vegas as odd as it is portrayed in movies?” Michel wanted to know.

  “Odder,” I said. “This place is hard to believe. I can’t wait to see you all. It’ll be great to have some friends here!”

  I got the details about the press conference from James later. He didn’t come in until nearly ten o’clock and he was ravenous. So was I and he chided me for not getting something for myself earlier. But I had gotten sucked into rereading my thesis and marking it up with revision notes anyway. It had been forever since I’d read it, and parts of it now were very obviously weak and in need of shoring up. But having spent the entire summer looking at and talking about the paintings hanging in the special exhibit at the Tate, I found myself easily tossing out whole sections and making notes for what to fill them in with.