Fresh-Start Family

by Lisa Mondello

  “You got chosen to get wet, didn’t you?”

  Tag laughed along with Brian. “Well, we were all going to get wet, but I was the one who had to take the first swim. Now, I just knew there were all kinds of creatures, like eels and snakes, living in the swamp.”

  “Did they bother you?”

  “Not the eels and snakes. But they weren’t the only things living there.”

  Brian stared at him wide-eyed, as if Tag was telling him a horror story. “What was living there?”

  “Do you really want to know?”

  “Yeah!”

  “I managed to get about halfway across when I felt something under my foot. You see, I didn’t want my boots to get wet, so I took them off and left them back onshore with my gear. At first, I thought an eel had moved under my foot. At least, I’d hoped it was only an eel. But eels don’t feel that solid.”

  “They’re slimy.”

  “Right. But this thing felt hard, like a rock, only it was moving. Then I hoped maybe I’d stepped on a snapping turtle’s shell. I didn’t want to mess with one of those, so I decided to move quick. Then I felt a snap just miss my heel.”

  “Did the snapping turtle bite you?”

  “Hold on. I’m not done telling the story. I started to swim faster, because I didn’t want anything biting me. I had the rope in my hand and felt another snap, which just missed my foot. That’s when I realized whatever was down there was too big and was swimming too fast to be a snapping turtle.”

  “What was it?”

  “An alligator.”

  Brian jumped to his knees on the bed. “No way! Really? You stepped on an alligator?”

  “Right on its head.”

  “Koowell!”

  Tag sputtered, “You wouldn’t have thought that if you were there and a big old alligator was snapping at your feet.”

  Brian laughed.

  “Now, we all knew alligators lived in the swamp and there was a good chance we’d encounter a few. There were soldiers lined up along the bank of the river, looking out for just that very thing. But this gator decided to go deep, and that’s where he found me.”

  “Were you scared?”

  “Well, yeah. Wouldn’t you be?”

  Brian giggled. “Yeah, I guess so.”

  Tag heard a creak in the hallway and guessed Jenna was out there listening to his story, seeing if he was making any progress with Brian. Brian was too preoccupied with the story to notice.

  “What did you do, Tom? Did he get you? Did he take a chunk out of your foot?” Brian twisted his hands in eagerness to hear the rest of the story.

  “Nah, I just swam faster than I’d ever done before, hoping the gator would find something more interesting to give his attention to. In fact, I swam so fast, the soldier on the bank holding the other end of the line got rope burn on his palms before I made it to the other side of the river.”

  Brian laughed.

  “We built the rope bridge and managed to get all our gear to the other side without getting everything soaked. We changed into dry clothes, and no one got sick or miserable because they had to stay wet. My point is that sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do. But we do them because they’re for our own good.”

  Brian’s little face skewed up into a frown. “How is stepping on an alligator’s head good for you?”

  “It was the training that was good. Stepping on the alligator was just an added bonus. I didn’t want to get into that water and get wet any more than any of the other guys did. I certainly didn’t want to be the first one to have to make the journey without knowing what was in there. But I knew someone had to do it, for the good of the team.

  “You see, just like you need to be disciplined because of the problem you have with your kidney, my unit had to be disciplined. Training taught us to work together to do what needed to be done. We didn’t always think it at the time, but looking back, it made us stronger. After a while you don’t question things. You just do what you have to do. Everything from jumping into the swamp to rushing to get up in the morning, to getting dressed and in line and then waiting until the CO had eaten his breakfast and was good and ready to start a run.” He handed Brian the drink in the plastic cup. “Things like drinking a really disgusting drink before an important test when you go to visit the doctor. Even if you don’t want to do it.”

  Brian looked up at Tag, and with his shoulders sagging, he took the cup in his hands.

  “Think of it as alligator duty, Scout,” Tag added. “Go forth and fulfill your mission.”

  “Oh, all right,” Brian said with a sigh. With a disgusted look in his face he put the cup to his mouth and then shook his head.

  Leaning forward, Tag said, “I find it helps to hold your nose while you drink it. It makes it go down easier.”

  Brian pinched his nose and gulped down the drink, allowing drops of it to dribble out of his mouth and down his chin.

  “Am I done?” Brian finally said, still swallowing and making a face.

  “Good job. I’m proud of you,” Tag said, smiling his approval. “Now go wash your face and rinse the cup in the sink so your mom doesn’t have to do it for you.”

  Brian slipped out of bed and ran out the bedroom door. Tag heard his quick feet racing down the hall and then the slamming of the bathroom door.

  As he turned to get up from Brian’s bed, he saw Jenna standing in the doorway. He’d known she was standing there, but she’d kept her distance. The look on her face…If he lived a thousand years, he wouldn’t forget that look of gratitude.

  “Want to have a cold drink on the porch before you head out?” she asked. “I promise it’s a whole lot better than what Brian had to drink.”

  She was pretty even with fatigue pulling at her eyes. Her hair had become mussed from doing work and was wet on the side of her head, as if she’d tucked a few locks behind her ear while she’d been washing the dishes.

  A cold drink on the porch with Jenna sounded good. But he knew that what he really ought to do was go home. He’d become altogether too comfortable here, and that couldn’t be good. Besides, it had been a long day, and tomorrow would be even longer if he didn’t manage to get some sleep tonight. “I should really get home,” he finally said.

  Jenna did her best to hide her disappointment, but he saw it in the slight fading of her smile. “Give me a second to tuck Brian in and I’ll walk you out.”

  As Tag started down the stairs, the toilet flushed and the bathroom door abruptly flew open, banging on the inside wall.

  “All set, Scout?” he called up.

  “You betcha!” Brian yelled.

  “Okay, off to bed with you,” Jenna said from the top of the stairs. “I’ll be in your room in a minute to tuck you in. Put your toys away!”

  “Aw, Mom!”

  “Don’t ‘Aw, Mom’ me.”

  As Tag walked downstairs, the chatter between Jenna and Brian continued. For a moment he was taken back to a time that felt familiar, but it was still too painful to allow himself to linger in the memory.

  Ben was sitting in front of the television, watching a game show. Tag could wait for Jenna in the living room while he talked to Ben. There was no need for her to walk him out to the truck. He could easily thank her for dinner and say his goodbyes right now. End it at that.

  But he needed a moment, he decided. He wasn’t ready to let go of the quiet evening he’d shared with Jenna and her family. He wouldn’t allow thoughts from the past to intrude on what little peace he’d been able to capture here, especially since those peaceful moments had seemed too rare over the past year.

  He pushed through the screen door and stepped onto Jenna’s front porch, not bothering to flick on the light. Instead, he breathed the late spring air deeply and let it out slowly.

  As he looked up at the deluge of stars in the dark sky, he was reminded that he was no longer a marine. He was in Chesterfield, Nebraska, not Afghanistan or anywhere else in the world. What happened in the past couldn�
�t hurt him anymore.

  If he continued telling himself that, then maybe in time the memories that haunted him every day and night would begin to fade and he’d finally feel peace.

  Chapter Seven

  Jenna didn’t quite know what to make of it. Brian responded to Tom in a way he didn’t to her or her father. It didn’t really surprise her that Brian manipulated her father. Brian knew how to get his grandfather to roll over, and as hard as her dad tried, he still spoiled his grandson. But Tom’s help with Brian was an unexpected gift. Brian idolized the man, making Brian downright eager to follow Tom’s requests. And Tom was a perfect authority figure with Brian—patient and understanding, but never giving way as he explained to Brian what the boy needed to do. The only downside was that Jenna was getting too used to leaning on Tom for help and support, and that was a dangerous habit that she’d need to avoid.

  She tucked Brian into his bed, giving him a kiss on his cheek. He smelled clean from his bath earlier that night.

  Jenna had always enjoyed this special time at night with Brian when it was just her and her son. They said their prayers, and she pulled the blanket over him, tucking the ends neatly under the mattress to make him feel snug.

  “Mom?”

  “What is it, honey?”

  Brian pulled himself out from underneath the blankets she’d just tucked in and sat up. “Do you think he’ll come to the festival with us?”

  “‘He’ who?” she asked, knowing full well Brian meant Tom.

  “Tom. I told him all about it when he was working on the truck with Grandpa.”

  “What did he say?”

  “He didn’t have a chance to say anything. Grandpa interrupted when he dropped this big wrench and it fell on his foot and then he said a word I’m not supposed to say.”

  Jenna rolled her eyes. “Well, I’m glad you’re not repeating it now.”

  “Do you think he’ll come with us?”

  “It’s still a few days away. Get back under the covers.” She retucked the blankets and rumpled Brian’s hair. “He might be busy, Brian. Tom has a lot of work. Mr. Nelson was sick for a long time, and the farm needs Tom’s attention. I don’t want you to get your hopes up if he can’t come because he has work to do.”

  “Will you ask him? Will you?”

  The pleading look in Brian’s tired eyes was bittersweet.

  “I’ll ask him. Okay, sweetie? Now, to sleep with you.”

  She kissed him again, then slipped out of his bedroom, turning off the light.

  Her eyes met with her reflection in the mirror as she passed it in the hallway. She took a moment to comb her fingers through her hair. She was exhausted, and it showed in the deep crevasses around her eyes.

  Shaking her head, she decided she was being ridiculous.

  “You haven’t worn makeup on a regular basis or cared what the state of your hair is at eight-thirty in the evening for nearly eight years, Jen,” she chided herself as she took the stairs down.

  “What was that, honey?” her father called from the living room.

  When she reached the bottom landing, she glanced over and saw him slumped in his favorite chair across from the television. It was a familiar scene she recalled from her youth.

  “Nothing, Dad. I was just… Do you mind listening for Brian in case he gets up? I’m just going to be outside for a little while.”

  He looked at her and smiled. “Take your time, honey. I don’t think I’ll be much company tonight. Wrestling with that truck wore me out. I’m going to turn in to bed in a few minutes. I’ve already said so, but thank Tom again for giving me a hand.”

  “I will. Good night.”

  She pushed through the screen door and walked out onto the porch. As she glanced at the porch chairs, her heart sank just a fraction. They were empty.

  “Over here,” Tag said.

  She couldn’t see him. But as she stepped off the porch and walked into the darkness toward the sound of his voice, he came into view. Her shoes crunched on the ground beneath her feet as she took each step.

  Tom was leaning against his truck, staring up at the stars in the sky. Jenna looked up herself. There had to be a billion stars out.

  “They’re not as bright in the city as they are out here. The sky looks so big out in the country,” she said.

  “The city lights drown out their splendor. That’s one reason I never much cared for the city.”

  “You must have hated living on base.”

  “I was away a lot, in places where the stars were a lot like this. What about you?”

  “We lived on base. It was easier that way.”

  He hesitated a moment. “At least you weren’t lonely.”

  She stifled a sigh. “You don’t have to be alone to be lonely.”

  It was more than she’d wanted to reveal about her marriage, so she moved on to what had kept her sane during those years when loneliness and fear weighed her down.

  “I kept myself busy. I started Eye for Style while I was still pregnant with Brian.” Wrapping her arms around her middle, she said, “You’re really good with kids. Brian adores you.”

  “He’s a good kid. He makes it easy.”

  “He’s not always that way with me.”

  Tom looked at her now. “The dynamics are different between the two of you. I’m not his mother.”

  She sighed. Watching Tom with Brian tonight had driven home the fact that maybe Brian was missing having a father in his life.

  “He has his heart set on you going to the church festival with us in a few days. Will you be going?”

  “I didn’t even know about it.”

  “Now that you know, you should consider it. You know Brian. He’s relentless. He’ll keep asking until you say yes. Have you ever thought of having children someday?” she asked. “Something tells me you’d make a great father.”

  Jenna could feel Tom staring at her, but his expression was lost in the darkness.

  “I need to get going,” he said abruptly, his voice quiet.

  Squashing her disappointment, Jenna nodded. Why did she always seem to put her foot in her mouth around him? She’d wanted time to spend with Tom for herself, not just to deliver the message from Brian. But it was clear they’d all monopolized his time today beyond his comfort zone. Of course, her big mouth didn’t help things any.

  She stood next to Tag’s truck as he opened the door, not ready to say good-night.

  A warm spring breeze lifted her hair and tickled her neck. The night noises seemed to be magnified against the silence between them. The smell of hay and newly turned earth coming from the fields permeated the air.

  “My father sends his thanks again for all your help with the truck. I know he likes the company as well as your expertise.”

  “No problem.” He patted his belly and teased, “I was paid well for my services, just as Brian said when he issued the invitation to dinner.”

  Jenna quirked a smile. “It’d be great if that’s all it took to get work done around here.” Shaking her head, she laughed. “I’m never going to live that one down, am I?”

  Tom smiled. “Hey, you’re an easy target.”

  Her breath hitched in her throat, and she hoped she could find the right words that wouldn’t drive Tom away. “You make things easy, too, Tom.”

  He hesitated a moment and then took a quick step forward, until he was standing just inches in front of her. Light spilled out of the truck from the open door. As she lifted her head, she saw the features of his face etched in the dark shadows that surrounded them.

  Slowly, he lifted his hand to her face and grazed her cheek with his knuckles. Jenna closed her eyes as her head began to swim with his gentle touch. Like the man himself, his movements were deliberate but not rushed. He cupped her cheek as he bent his head, and she lifted her face to him. Their lips brushed against each other, drowning out all noise and movement around them.

  She’d imagined many times what it would be like to have Tom kiss her, and the
reality more than lived up to the daydreams. When the kiss ended, she was surprisingly disappointed. She liked kissing him, loved the intensification of the feeling of closeness and connection she always felt when they were together.

  For the first time since well before her husband had died, she felt her heart stir. But as she placed her hand on his chest, he pulled back unexpectedly.

  “My hands are still a little dirty,” he said.

  She laughed softly. “That’s okay. There’s plenty of grease on this farm to get me dirty one way or another.”

  She reached for him again, but he captured her hands and held them between them, taking a slight step back.

  “Good night, Jenna,” he said.

  In that one brief moment he’d been with her. She was sure of it. But now he was running away again. Lord, what happened to him to make him so closed off?

  In the few seconds it took for him to turn and climb into his truck, Jenna replayed the kiss in her mind. Had she overstepped her bounds with him? No. And she hadn’t read his reaction to her wrong, either. He’d been the one to kiss her.

  Tom slammed the truck door shut. “I’ll see you in a few days?”

  “Sure,” she said.

  A few days. That seemed like such a long time.

  The engine roared to life, cutting into the night sounds. As he put the truck into gear, Jenna walked back to the porch and turned. It was becoming a habit, watching Tom Garrison speed down her driveway. It was clear to her he was running from something. As she watched the taillights of the truck bounce down the rutted dirt drive and then turn toward his farm, she wondered exactly what he was running from the most.

  The sweet smell of Jenna still enveloped his senses, even though Tag was sitting in his truck. He watched the headlights bob as the truck rolled over a pothole the rain had created in the road and was thankful that his was the only vehicle on the road. As distracted as he was, he knew he’d be a danger to other drivers.

  He’d kissed her, and it was almost as if he could still feel her lips pressed against his. He spotted his driveway ahead and shifted into a lower gear with a sigh.