Fresh-Start Family

by Lisa Mondello

  “It’s my fault, you know,” he said.

  “What are you talking about? You weren’t even with him.”

  “I’m the one who told him the story about Army Ranger School training, where we had to learn to rappel from a helicopter. I told him we used to jump onto hay bales from really high up to get us used to landing before doing the real thing. He thought it was cool. I should have known he’d try it himself. He never forgets a story. He was just trying to imitate me.”

  He pushed himself to his feet and paced, much as she had the first night they’d brought Brian to the hospital in Valentine.

  “I’m sorry, too,” she said quietly.

  “What for?”

  “I have no right to expect you to take on my worries with Brian, no matter how I feel about you.”

  “Jenna, what are you talking about?”

  “Listen, Tom. You don’t have to stay.”

  His expression changed from worry to hurt. “I don’t want to leave you and Brian,” he said.

  “And I don’t want you to have to relive your loss every time Brian is sick. It’s not fair to you. I can’t promise you there won’t be more days like this. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee Brian’s condition will get a whole lot worse before it gets better.” She hesitated, not wanting to think about the loss she knew Tom was feeling for his own daughter. “If he gets better at all.”

  “And what? You figure you’re sparing me by…letting me off the hook? Telling me to get lost?”

  “Please don’t take it the wrong way. I don’t want to make this any harder than it has to be. You have to know how much I care about you.”

  “Are you kidding?”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “No. Look, I know you’re a wonderful man and you want to be here for me. You’ve done so much already.”

  His jaw tightened. “So I’m a wonderful man that you’re tossing to the curb.”

  “Tom, please. Brian’s own father couldn’t deal with his medical troubles and he had the same illness. It’s what killed Kent. I certainly don’t expect you to have to carry that burden. And after all you’ve been through—”

  “You think I’m that much of a heel?”

  “No. You’re not.”

  “Just enough of a heel to leave you and Brian as soon as things get a little shaky.”

  Her blue eyes widened. “Tom, I wasn’t comparing you—”

  “Here’s a news flash, Jenna. I’m here. And I’m staying. I’m not going anywhere, no matter how bad it gets. I’m here for the long haul.”

  “What about that job at the base?”

  He frowned. “I’ll admit the thought of working with the military, training other soldiers, is tempting. I wouldn’t have to leave home on missions, but I would still have my hand in something I love. But I’ve already told my CO that for right now, I’m happy right where I’m at.”

  “Really? Is that what you really want?”

  Tom smiled. “He kept the offer open and told me to let him know if I changed my mind. I won’t do that without talking with you first.”

  She definitely liked the sound of that. Doing things together in a partnership, instead of all by herself, was a dream she’d had for a very long time.

  “I don’t want to hold you back from something that is important to you.”

  “You’re important to me, Jenna. That much I know. I’ve learned that life is good and each day is a celebration, good and bad. I’ve seen the dark side of living. It’s not pretty.” Tom motioned to the hallway they’d taken Brian down to have his X-ray. “What you have here is what life is all about. This is the good stuff. Love. Family. A place to belong, with people who make you feel complete. It’s real. It’s what makes you want to wake up every day and thank the Lord you’re alive. And for the first time in a very long time I can thank God I am alive. You did that for me.”

  “But Brian—”

  “You don’t know what’s going to happen to Brian any more than you know what’ll happen to you. No one does. That’s God’s plan. Isn’t that what you told me?”

  She nodded.

  “I’ve learned a valuable lesson. You can’t stop living because you’re afraid of losing again. Brian’s father was a fool not to see what he had. I was, too. I pushed what was good in my life aside, expecting it to be there for me when I was good and ready. I’m not going to make that same mistake twice.”

  “Tom,” she said, slipping into his arms, “how did I get blessed to find a man like you?”

  “I’ve been angry at God for a long time, thinking He was punishing me by letting me live after my family died. But you know what? I think He had a different plan for me all along. I just didn’t see it.”

  “What was that?”

  “All that time I was praying for a second chance to make things right when Nancy and Crystal were already gone, I think He was bringing me to you and Brian.”

  Tom held her tight. Jenna didn’t think she could get close enough to satisfy herself. He was an incredible man, and she was grateful to have him in her life.

  Resting his cheek against her forehead, he said, “I want my life to have you and Brian in it for as long as I’m allowed. And God willing, I’d love there to be more.”

  “You really mean that?” She reached up and placed her hands on his cheeks and stared into his eyes.

  “Yes, I do.”

  The doctor appeared in the doorway. “I…don’t want to interrupt, but I’d like to update you on Brian.”

  They both turned their attention immediately to the doctor.

  “How is he?” Jenna asked. “Is it a bad break?”

  “It’s a fracture. The break didn’t go all the way through the bone,” the doctor explained.

  Jenna heaved a sigh of relief.

  “We’re going to set him up with a nice blue cast that he can brag about to his friends at school,” said the doctor. “He’ll be just fine. I’ll come back out in a few to give you instructions on how to care for the cast to prevent Brian from damaging it before the bone heals. Just tell him he needs to wait until he’s a little older for skydiving.”

  Tom smiled awkwardly. “Thank you, Doctor.”

  “Incidentally, Jenna, I know things can be rough with a sick child. I know how hard it must be on all of you,” said the doctor. “But I’d much rather see Brian for an injured arm, doing the things kids are supposed to do at his age, than see him for something critical. Don’t worry. I’m sure it’s not going to be the only broken bone we see over the years.”

  As the doctor walked away, Tom turned to Jenna, placing his arms around her shoulders. Tears filled her eyes.

  “He’s going to be fine,” he assured her.

  “This time. This time it was a fractured bone. But what if next time it’s something worse?”

  “Then we deal with it. Together. Don’t shut me out. I know for a fact I want to be in the thick of whatever is happening with you and Brian.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really.”

  He kissed her on her forehead and rested his lips against her skin for a long moment.

  “I want to do it right, Jenna. I want you to marry me. Let me into your family, into your heart, and I promise you I’ll do my best to be there for you always.”

  Her eyes glistened as she looked up at him. “Of course I’ll marry you. Nothing would make me happier, because I love you.”

  Epilogue

  The corridor Tag walked down had become familiar over the past year and a half, since he’d come to Nebraska. He had memorized the nurses’ faces and names, had gotten used to the smell of disinfectant and sickness…and life. Despite the tragedy that sometimes touched the lives of people who visited the hospital, life was happening all around him.

  Tag pushed through the hospital-room door and found his wife sleeping awkwardly against the guardrail of Brian’s hospital bed. In his hands he held two cups of coffee. In his pocket were two granola bars and two rolls of quarters. It was going
to be a long day, and trips to the hospital vending machine would be frequent after the night they’d spent racing to Valentine when word came in of a donor kidney for Brian.

  Somewhere out there this morning were parents grieving the loss of their child. Tag knew all too well what that grief felt like. But in the end their loss was giving Brian life. Crystal had done the same, and in some small way that eased the pain of losing her. He only prayed that the parents of this precious donor, whose gift Brian was about to receive, took some comfort in that as well.

  As Tag eased into the chair on the other side of the bed, Brian’s eyes flew open. “She fell asleep again,” he said quietly.

  Tag set the coffee cups down on the table next to the bed and wrapped Brian’s small hand in his. “Pregnant women sleep a lot. Bringing a little sister or brother into the world is tiring for a mom.”

  Jenna was nearly four months pregnant, and it had just begun to show. There wasn’t a day that went by that Tag didn’t thank God for his blessings. And today there’d be another one when Brian was given a new kidney.

  Brian’s bottom lip quivered, showing the boy’s fear.

  “I know you’re scared, Scout.”

  “Mom will get sad if I cry.”

  “Mom will not get sad if you cry,” Jenna said, rousing from her sleep.

  Tears sprang to Tag’s eyes. “It’s okay to be scared, Brian. A wonderful woman once told me that even heroes cry sometimes.”

  Jenna looked at Tag and smiled at the reference to their conversation the night he’d told her about the family he’d lost.

  “I’m not big and brave like you,” Brian said.

  “The big will come soon enough,” Tag said, rumpling Brian’s hair.

  “That’s right. Don’t be in such a rush to grow up,” Jenna added.

  Then Tag reached in his pocket and pulled out the little case he’d grabbed before leaving for the hospital.

  Jenna gasped softly when she saw it in his hands. “You found it,” she mouthed quietly.

  Jenna had insisted Tag keep the medal he’d been given for his service in Afghanistan, but he’d refused to put it on any type of display. When he’d received it, he’d had the urge to send it back. Since then he had worked through his anger and guilt and was now glad he’d kept the Medal of Honor the president had given him. He’d intended to give it to Brian after his kidney operation, but now seemed like a better time.

  Opening the case, he handed it to Brian.

  “Wow,” was all Brian said when Tag showed him the medal. “Is this your hero’s medal?”

  “Sure is. This is the one the president of the United States gave me when we all went on that trip to Washington, D.C., before your mom and I got married,” Tag replied.

  “That was a fun trip, huh, honey?” Jenna said.

  Brian nodded.

  “You shook the president’s hand,” Jenna added.

  “That’s right,” Tag said. “I want you to have this medal.”

  Brian’s eyes widened. “Why? I’m not a brave hero.”

  There were a thousand reasons, and yet no words could adequately describe Tag’s feelings for his new family. He couldn’t put into words the love he had for Jenna and Brian, or his gratitude for the second chance he’d been given with her love and the new child they’d created. So, he put it plainly in a way Brian could understand.

  “Scout, you’re my hero. With everything you’ve gone through, I think you’re the biggest and bravest person I’ve ever met.”

  Peace settled deep within him with Brian’s bright smile. The tears welling in Jenna’s eyes said all the rest. The Lord had given them all a second chance and a blessing that would last a lifetime.

  Dear Reader,

  I’m so pleased that you picked up Fresh-Start Family to read. While I’ve written several Love Inspired Suspense books, this is my first Love Inspired book and I’m thrilled to be a part of this group of fine authors.

  People always ask writers how we come up with our story ideas and character names. In Fresh-Start Family my inspiration was easy. I took stories from my husband (another Tom) about his days as a marine and used them as inspiration to create the hero, Tom (Tag) Garrison. Jenna is a young mother who is busy with work and an active seven-year-old son, something we can all relate to. But she has the added burden of living in fear of losing her child to a disease that killed her late husband. This story is about second chances, learning to trust in God and in love in the hard times so you can learn to appreciate the good things in life. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.

  Please visit me at the Craftie Ladies of Romance Web site and the Craftie Ladies of Suspense Web site, where Love Inspired and Love Inspired Suspense authors post short stories and have free book giveaways.

  http://www.ladiesofsuspense.blogspot.com

  http://www.craftieladiesofromance.blogspot.com

  Many blessings,

  Lisa Mondello

  QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

  Jenna lives in fear of her son getting sicker and dying. How does she rely on her faith to cope with that fear?

  Have you ever had to make choices in your life regarding someone who was ill? How did your faith play into the choices you made?

  Why was it so important for Jenna to move back to Chesterfield when her son’s best chances for medical treatment were in the big city? Would you have made the same choice?

  It’s common for people to want to run away from what hurts them. How does Tag run away from the tragedies of his life? By running away, does he succeed in escaping his past?

  Tag has suffered a personal and professional tragedy that he’s having difficulty accepting. How does his faith in God play a part in this?

  What are the events that lead to Tag having flashbacks? How does he move on from them?

  Although Jenna fears that the very thing Tag is grieving over will happen to her, she still seeks Tag out at the church festival. What do you suppose she is hoping for? Does she find it?

  Tag avoids talking to his family for a few reasons. When his cousin calls, what is his cousin trying to get Tag to do? What is the real reason Tag is so conflicted about doing it?

  Tag has distanced himself from more than just his family. He’s distanced himself from God. Have you ever distanced yourself from your faith in times of crisis? What made you come back?

  What events lead to Tag coming around and realizing he needs to open his heart to love and faith again?

  How does Jenna help Tag open his heart and deal with his grief?

  Brian needs a kidney transplant, but Jenna knows that the only way Brian will receive the transplant he needs is if another child dies. How does Jenna call on her faith to deal with her conflicting emotions regarding this?

  How important is the theme of second chances to this story? Have you been in a position where you felt all was lost, only to discover you had a second chance?

  ISBN: 978-1-4268-6936-5

  FRESH-START FAMILY

  Copyright © 2010 by Lisa Mondello

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Steeple Hill Books, 233 Broadway, New York, NY 10279 U.S.A.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  This edition published by arrangement with Steeple Hill Books.

  ® and TM are trademarks of Steeple Hill Books, used under license. Trademarks indicated with ® are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the Canadian Trade Marks Office and in other countries.

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